Thank you so much to all of you reading to those who have left comments. You're all are amazing, thank you and God bless you.
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I walked downstairs carrying two jugs of water, I walked into the kitchen. "Is it alright if I get these filled?" I asked "Of course" said Mrs. Patemore.
One of the kitchen maids grabbed the jugs "Thank you" I rubbed my hands together. "Is Mrs. Hughes down here?" I asked Mrs. Patmore.
"Yes, she's in the servant's hall" I smiled "Thank you, I'll be right back for those" I heard Mr. Carson. "But they live down at the hospital" I walked in.
"Mrs. Hughes I wanted to asked yo..." I stopped as saw a kind and familiar face "Mr. Bates" he smiled "Lilly" I hugged him "So, his Lordship's given you your job back?" I asked happily.
"He has, we've made up. And I'm glad we did." He told me as we pulled away. He looked me up and down. "You're a nurse?" I nodded "Yes"
"Along with Lady Sybil" Anna added.
"Nurse Crawley, please" Thomas said as he walked into the servant's hall, cup in hand. The room went silent and looks of displeased on everyone's faces as he walked over to sit at the table.
"So, we have both returned, you and I. A couple of bad pennies" Mr. Bates said almost gritting his teeth. "I haven't" Thomas said as he sat his cup onto the table.
"Thomas means he's not here as a servant. He managed the house. He's a Sergeant now" Mrs. O'Brien added as Thomas sat down in the chair beside her.
"I take orders from Major Clarkson. He runs the place on behalf of the army medical corps" he told Mrs. Bares with one arm resting on the table.
"Yes another reason to pray for peace" Mr. Bates remarked, Mrs. Hughes and I smirked at his comment. "I heard about William from his Lordship" he said to Daisy.
"And Captain Crawley" he said to all of us. "I'm sure they're all right" Anna reassured. Just then we heard footsteps running towards the hall.
"Sorry I'm late. Has the dressing gong rung yet?" Asked Mr. Molesley as he came in to join us out of breath. "You're not late, Mr. Molesley, but..." Mrs. Hughes tried to finish but was cut off by Mr. Carson.
"Mr. Bates is back and you reminded me" Mr. Molesley looked to Mr. Bates. "I'd better ring it now" said Mr. Carson as he walked out of the hall and up the stairs.
"Are you staying for good?" He asked Mr. Bates, hoping for him to say no. "I'd need a crystal ball to answer that, but I'll stay for now" he replied to Mr. Molesley.
Mr. Molesley had a disappointed look on his face. "Have you been filling in for me?" He asked "I was going to, starting tonight, yeah"
"Then you'll be relived to see me" Mr. Bates smiled to Mr. Molesley. "Oh, tremendously" Mr. Bates looked down to Mr. Molelseys hands.
"What's this?" He asked "it's a new kind of shoehorn. I bought it for his Lordship" Mr. Molesley explained.
"That's very kind of you, Mr. Molesley, thank you" he held out his hand as Mr. Molesley handed it to him.
The gong rung from upstairs, everyone started to scurry to get back to work. "Daisy, fetch me some more tea" he demanded as she started to leave the hall.
"Thomas, I've got din..." She pointed towards the kitchen "Hot, this time. And it's Sergeant Barrow to you" I clenched my jaw.
"Go help Mrs. Patmore, Daisy. Don't worry about the tea" she nodded and went to the kitchen. "It's not for you to be barking orders" he stated.
"If you want the damn tea, Thomas, get up and get it yourself" I grumbled. "It's Sergeant Barrow to..." He started "You can take that and stick it up your ass, right now"
I walked up the stairs.
~~~~
I filled up the soldiers glasses as Thomas walked out of the library, glancing for a moment then looking away as he walked with his head held high.
"Sergeant, one moment" I heard Dr. Clarkson say as he approached him. "I hear you're becoming mighty imperious in your manner with the staff here, I'm Daisy in particular.
Just because you're a poacher turned gamekeeper, there is no need for rudeness" I sniggered to myself, Thomas clenched his jaw. "No, sir"
"So mind what I say" he looked at Thomas for a moment "Carry on" Thomas walks out of the house as Sr. Clarkson walked over to Mrs. Hughes.
"I've done as you've asked, Mrs. Hughes. I think Barrow's taken it on board" she handed him his coat. "He's getting grander than Lady Mary, and that's saying something"
He chuckled as she walked away. He looks to me and smiled before walking towards the door. "Lady Grantham" he said to Cora as she walked in.
"Dr. Clarkson" she greeted as she walked upstairs.
~~~~
"It was bates. I saw him watching you. He must of gone straight to the Major and sneaked in you the moment your back was turned" Mrs. O'Brien said from her seat in front of me as she was sewing.
I rolled my eyes as I sat writing my letter to Shelagh. "Oh, well. Some things never change" Thomas said from his place leaning against Mr. Car sons chair.
I stopped writing and looked at the pen in my hand. "Maybe it wasn't Mr. Bates" their heads snapped to me "What?" Thomas spat.
I looked to him "It wasn't Mr. Bates who ratted you out" I closed the cap onto my pen, I folded the piece of paper as I stood up.
I walked passed Thomas. He grabbed onto my arm tight. "You little snake" he spat. "Don't talk to me about being a snake" he squeezed harder.
"Don't challenge me" he grumbled. "Believe me, you're not much of a challenge" I jerked my arm out of his harsh grip. "Piss off" I walked away.
"You made me this way!" I kept walking "What is going on out here?" Asked Mrs. Hughes as I met her halfway down the hall.
"Look here, Mrs. Hughes to your rescue. She wouldn't be coming to your rescue, none of them. If they knew who you really are.
They all think you this little innocent thing, but you're not. Tell them, tell them what you said to me three years ago. And why we aren't close like we used to be. Tell them how you fucked up!"
I stood in the middle of the hallway, Mrs. Hughes looking from Thomas to me. Mr. Carson came out of his office and watch along with everyone else.
"Do you want to tell them, or shall I?" I clenched my jaw. "Do you want to tell them how you told me that you wanted me to die in the war, that you wished it with all your heart that I wouldn't come back. Unless I was in a body bag!"
I could hear his footsteps inching closer to me, one by one. I clenched my fists. "How you didn't love me, when I poured my heart out to you!" I turned around.
"Yes, I said all of that, I shouldn't have said it, but I did. I said it because I was angry, and I know that is not an excuse but I was. I was pissed at you, at what you said.
And everyone down here knows what you said that night. William wasn't the only one who hit you. And I'm sorry for doing that, and for what I've said.
I've had to live with the guilt for the past three years. Every damn day it had been eating me alive. I know you hate me" I bit my lip as he just stared at me.
"I did turn you into this. I thought that I could have been that peeps. To remind you that you still had a heart... But I'm just the one who made sure you didn't have one at all"
"But did you love me?" I stared at him, everyone quietly watching us. "I did. And I was a bloody fool for doing so" I walked passed him and walked up the stairs.
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I walked into the main hall "Lilly? Are you alright?" Cora asked as I passed her. "I'm fine, I just need some air" I grabbed my coat off the rack.
"Lilly, you're as white as a sheet" Sybil pointed out as I put on my coat. "I just need some air. Please don't follow me, I just need some air" I opened the door and closed it behind me.
I didn't know where I was going, I just started running.
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I ran until I was up on a hill, looking out over the entire estate. I stood aside of the old ruin of the gate as my lung felt as if it was on fire.
My hand clutched my side. My other hand was rested on my hip, I tried to control my breathing when I began to cry.
I brought my hand from my waist to my mouth as I felt sick. I leaned my back against the ruin wall, I winced but didn't care.
The feeling in the pit of my stomach making me sick. The feeling of guilt, discussed and anger rising up in my throat until I could do nothing else but scream.
I hunched over and scram my lungs out, everything that's happened over the past few years, and what's happens over the past month. I was letting it all out.
I stopped screaming as I slid down the wall, hugging my knees to me chest. I rested my my arms on top of them as I Burris my head in my arms and continued to cry.
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Still hugging my knees to my chest, I leaned my head back against the wall. My tears were no longer running down my cheeks, for I think I cried every last tear left in me at the moment.
I looked out over Downton as the sun began to set. What if I just stayed up here? I don't want to go back. I sighed as I stood up. I winced as k looked to my side to see blood seeping through my clothes.
"Fantastic" I mumbled to myself. I sighed once again before beginning my long decent down the hill.
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I reached the door as the sun had disappeared from the sky. I flinched as my back began to throb along with my side. I need Sybil.
I walked in to see Sybil's head jerk around to me "Lilly!" He jogged over to me, she put her hands on my forearms.
"Where did you go? What happened?" I held her hands.
"I'm fine. I need your help" he nodded her head as we walked upstairs.
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She opened the door to Cora's room since it had its own bathroom. I began to unbutton my uniform jacket as I walked into the bathroom.
I let out a Yelp as the jacket fell to the floor, Sybil came in and closed the bathroom door. She walked over to me.
"Let me take a look" I turned sprung as she removed the bandages. After she had removed them, I heard her gasp.
"Oh my God, Lilly" I looked down to see that my wound in my side had reopened. "Your back is infected" I began to breath heavy as I felt light headed.
"Sybil" I began to feel dizzy. "I don't feel to well" she grabbed my arm as my legs gave out. I fell to my knees clutching my side.
"I'm going to get Anna and Dr. Clarkson" she helped my test against the tub as she rushed out of the room.
Before I knew it my eyes had fluttered shut and I was consumed by darkness.
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'I didn't feel anything, I just stood there, standing my their graves. I had no more tears left, I had no emotion. I was drained dry like a pond in the Sahara.
I laid the tossed on the freshly dug dirt. I stood as I kissed my finger son both hands then laid them on each of their headstones.
'Lucia Grace Carmichael, beloved mother and wife. 'Marcus Augustus Carmichael, beloved father and husband' I backed away from the stones as I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I turned around to see his and her Royal Majesty's. I curtsied "King George, Queen Mary" his majesty chuckled. "No need for that today, my love" he put his hand on my small shoulder.
"Your parents were loved and Cherished. They were good friends of ours. Your parents don't have any family for you to stay with, so how would you like to come stay with us?"
My mouth fell open slightly, he chuckled as he put his finger underneath my chin to close my mouth gently. I smiled slightly.
"I have children of my own, so you won't get bored. And we have a big house so you can run around and do as you like" I looked from him to Queen Mary.
She was standing behind him with her hands interlocked I front of her. I looked back to him and nodded, he smiled as he kissed my forehead before standing.
He held out his hand for me, I put my tiny hand in his bigger one. He held my hand as he interlocked arms with his wife.
I glanced over my shoulder one last time to see the strange man standing in between my parents headstones'
I opened my eyes to see Dr. Clarkson knelt down in front of me with Anna standing behind him. Sybil was to my left, letting me lean on her for support.
"Are you alright?" He asked all I did was nod. "Let's help soothe the infection for now and get that stitched up and bandaged" he looked from Sybil back to me.
"Lilly?" I hummed in response. "When was the last time you've slept?" I looked to him "Three years ago" he sighed "Let's get her taken care of"
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I opened my eyes as I looked around the room, I pulled the covers of Sybil's bed back. She's letting me room with her for now on.
I got up remembering today was the day of the concert. "What are you doing?" Sybil asked a she walked in. "You're still ill" I smiled "I'm fine, Sybbie. I've had a wonderful nurse who had nursed me back to good health"
She was going to speak when I cut her off "I'm fine, promise" I stood up as she helped me make the bed. "So, looks like Thomas isn't just our secret anymore" damn.
"Its all everyone is talking about downstairs" I sighed "Can we not speak of it, please" she nodded her head as we continued to make the bed.
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"Girls!" Cora called "Coming, mama!" Sybil called back. "Are you sure about this?" I chuckled as I smoothed out my skirt.
"Yes, mama" she laughed and rolled her eyes as we walked downstairs.
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All of the soldiers were seated in their seats in rows as were the Crawley family. I was sat Mary with Cora, Robert and lady Violet in front of us.
The staff was stood behind us. Edith played the piano as Sergeant Bryant was doing manic tricks. "Are you feeling better?" Mary whispered to me.
"I am, thank you" she smiled as she continued to watch the show. Once Sergeant Bryant had finished, everyone applauded as he went to be seated.
Edith looked to me and I nodded. I did the same as I stood. I walked down the isle of soldiers. "As you can all tell, I am from Ireland. But I've lived in Britain my whole life"
I stood by the piano and faced everyone. "I lived in London before I came here for a while. I've just came back recently from serving as a nurse the past three years in Ireland.
And every night, mr along with the other nurses which I loved with, we would go down to the local pub.
And we would sing Sea Shanty's or traditional songs. Believe me, I'm not going to ruin your hearing with Shanty's, I promise" they all laughed.
I smiled "But there is a song in particular that we would sing. It's a song about spending time with those whom you hold dear. About wishing thee farewell to your fallen comrades and old friends. And that song is called, The Parting Glass. (See song above)
*Oh all the money that e'er I had, I spent it in good company* I looked to Thomas *And all the harm, that e'er I've done.
Alas it was to none but me*
I looked away.
*And all I've done, for want of wit.
To memory now, I can't recall
Good night and joy be with you all.
Oh all the comrades that e'er I had, their sorry for my going away.
And all the sweethearts that e'er I've loved, they'd wish me one more day to stay.
But since it falls into my lot, that I should rise and you should not.
I'll gently rise and I'll softly call.
Good night and joy be with you all*
I curtsied as everyone applauded, all but Thomas. I nodded towards Mary as she stood up also. "Most of you won't know how rare it is to see mr sister Edith and I pulling together in an act..." She came to stand by me and the piano.
"But in wartime, we like all of you, have more important things to worry about. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Crawley sisters" she motioned towards the three of us.
"Well, now I've seen everything" Lady Violet said to Robert. He rolled his eyes and smirked at his mother. Edith started playing the piano.
*Sometimes when I feel sad and things look blue.
I wish a pal I had say one like you.
Someone who thinks my heart, to build a throne.
Someone who'd never part, to call my own* everyone started to sing along. All but Thomas.
*If you were the only girl in the world, and I were the only boy.
Nothing else would matter in the work today.
We would go living in the same old way..." I stopped sing in gas I saw Mathew walk into the room.
Mary stopped also. Everyone else slowly stopped as they turned to see what we were looking at. Cora gasped as Robert stood up and walked to Mathew.
"Thank God" I heard Mary whisper beside me, I grabbed met hand as she squeezed mine. "My dear boy" Robert said to Mathew as he shook his hand.
"My very dear boy" I smiled at William who was stood behind Mathew. He smiled also. Mathew looked from Robert to me and Mary and smiled.
"Come on, don't stop for me" he started to walk towards us.
*I would say such wonderful things to you.
There would be such wonderful things to do* Mathew stood in between Mary and I.
*If you were the only girl in the world* Mathew smiled at me as he reached down and grabbed my hand, I smiled back as he squeezed my hand.
*And I were the only boy* we finished as everyone applauded. Mathew smiled to me again as he kissed the top of my head. Mary looked at him with adoration.
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"Somehow we got lost and then we were trapped behind some Germans for three days. When we got out of that, we stumbled into a field dressing station but we weren't in any danger, so they didn't inform our unit" he explained to Robert, Mary and I.
"Well, they should have jolly well told us when you got back to bass" he told Mathew. "I hope you weren't really worried" "When don't we worry" he chuckled.
"I beg your pardon, m'lord" said Mrs. Hughes "But the Dowager Countess is leaving" she told Robert. "Ah" he walked away and towards his mother.
Mrs. Hughes smiled to us as she walked away.
I smiled at Mathew. "It's good to have you back, Mathew" he smiled then hugged me. "It's good to be back" we pulled way as I kissed his cheek.
I smiled to him and Mary as I walked away, letting them talk. I walked over to William, Daisy and Mrs. Patmore. They all looked to me, I smiled.
"It's good to have you back, soldier" he smiled as he pulled me into a hug. We pulled away. "I knew you would come back, I felt it in me waters" said Mrs. Patmore as she pinched his cheek.
"What about you? Did you have me boxed up and buried?" He asked Daisy. "I'm glad you're all right, honest" she replied.
"You should be. It's the thought of you that keeps me going" I smiled at the both of them, Daisy had an uncomfortable look on her face.
I walked away and saw Thomas and Mrs. O'Brien talking and staring at Mr. Bates and Anna. He held the door for Anna as she went down to the kitchen.
Mr. Bates walked away from the door with a smile on his face. He smirks to me as he passed me, I smiled back. I looked back over to the troubling duo to see them both staring at me.
I looked away and walked over to Sybil and Edith.
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I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. If you did leave a comment and a like!! And I'm sorry that this chapter is shorter then the others!!! Until next time lovelies.