taehyung liked looking into peoples' eyes.
there could be so much inside of them.
some were shallow and bright, and there wasn't much to dig into. their emotions would be laid out right in the iris for everyone to see, right on display because they didn't have anything to hide. those kinds of eyes were the eyes of people who were happy.
others were dark and deep, and looking inside meant falling into the endlessly gray depths that light could no longer reach. those were sad eyes, or they were angry eyes, and taehyung didn't like looking into those.
maybe that was why taehyung couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with yoongi.
they stood by the railing facing each other but not looking at each other, cars whooshing past them in blurry movements and the water beneath them making waves that slapped against shores and beat against the poles supporting the bridge.
taehyung wanted a wave to come crashing down on him, and him only, to drag him into the water.
just so he could avoid yoongi's gaze.
"why?"
taehyung merely shrugged.
"does there have to be a reason?"
yoongi sighed, pulling taehyung's hood up.
"it's cold. you should go back home."
"why were you outside? here?" taehyung's eyes flitted up with curiousity, only brushing past yoongi's cheeks and nose before fluttering back to the ground.
"wanted some fresh air," yoongi said. "you?"
taehyung hesitated. he had just opened his mouth to speak when yoongi interrupted him.
"wait," he said. "don't answer that. sorry for asking."
"it's fine," taehyung smiled weakly. "walk with me?"
and so yoongi did walk with him, slowly matching his strides with the speed of taehyung's.
they passed by gray cars and dark water and old stores and streets, keeping silent lips sealed as they went, because silence could sometimes be the loudest of conversations. that was exactly what their silence was; it was their way of conversing, by walking side by side and sharing the sights that came with walking in the streets and bridges of seoul at three a.m.
and then yoongi kept walking when taehyung reached his apartment and went inside, still silent. he smiled once at yoongi before starting up the stairs, and yoongi smiled back.
their eyes only locked for three seconds, but yoongi felt that it was for years that their eyes met. he saw a flash of genuine happiness sprint through the whites of taehyung's eyes, and then fade just as quickly.
and that was the worst part. that the happiness in the boy's eyes was so short lived.
* * *
taehyung awoke when his front door shut with a loud thud.
he blinked rapidly.
who had just walked inside?
his heart thumped precariously against his rib cage with a sudden sense of urgency, and then taehyung flinched as his bedroom door creaked open.
"tae?"
taehyung relaxed to see jimin through the crack in his door, peering at him with wide, concerned eyes.
jimin stepped inside, and hoseok followed after him.
"what are you guys doing here?"
"taehyung, it's monday." jimin's voice was literally on the edge of laughter.
"what? shit."
"yeah, and it's three'o'clock in the afternoon, lazy-ass. you missed school and we were worried," hoseok said.
"you also forgot to lock your door, fucking dumbass. what if it hadn't been us who had walked in?" jimin's tone was scolding, as if he was reprimanding taehyung.
"what if it had been loan sharks and they came in and beat you up again?"
"how do you even fucking know about that?"
"jimin told me," hoseok said. "you're so lucky we're always here to save your sorry little ass." he pulled out a bag of fast food from his backpack and dropped it into taehyung's lap. "if it weren't for us, you would have failed last semester and starved to death two weeks ago, am i right?"
"you are right, hoe," taehyung muttered. "why are you always right?"
"shut up and eat," jimin shoved a fry into taehyung's mouth, his reprimanding tone still evident in his voice. "your fridge was empty, you little shit. when's the last time you had something to eat?"
"probably a while ago," taehyung grumbled, still wrapped up in his thick blankets with his knees pulled up to his chest.
"eat this, and then we'll go thrift shopping or something," hoseok said, pulling taehyung's desk chair to his bed and then gesturing for jimin to sit on his lap.
"thrift shopping?"
"yeah," jimin said. "i think you need to get out of this apartment for a bit."
"i'm not complaining," taehyung retorted. "after thrifting, we should go see namjoon and seokjin and kook, at the coffee shop."
"hell yeah."
* * *
"holy shit, they actually fucking came!" namjoon put down the plate he had been washing to greet them as they walked inside. "how have you all been?"
"same as always," taehyung replied. "how's work?"
"the usual," jin shouted from the back. "joon broke another fucking plate, and kook picked another fight with a customer."
"hey, he started that shit!"
jimin, hoseok, and taehyung sat down at a table by the window, namjoon joining them. "what happened to tae's face?"
"loan sharks," jimin answered for him when he hesitated. "tell him that he can stay at your place whenever his mom's gone."
"tae, you know you can come anytime, right?"
taehyung nodded, grinning softly. "of course. i'll stop by sometime this week."
they had all met in high school, seokjin having graduated the year prior, and namjoon and jungkook having dropped out. namjoon dropped out to support his family while producing music on the side, jungkook dropping out to join him as he had been struggling to find a point to attending at all.
taehyung had considered dropping out with them, only staying in school as he was afraid that he wouldn't be of enough support without a high school diploma; he wasn't like namjoon who had a passion to turn to, and he wasn't like jungkook with a stable home life, so he had to grit his teeth and hang onto the shred of energy he had to graduate. without even a high school diploma, he wouldn't be capable of bringing respect to his mother's name: wouldn't be capable of moving them up a step in the hierarchy of society.
it seemed that life always liked pushing him to the bottom.
everything about his life seemed to have been built from down below, from his dingy apartment complex to his worn shoes, soles torn from overuse. his mattress laid on the floor of his bedroom. his clothes sat not in a closet but in a box he had used when moving. his television didn't even have a table to sit on, instead having a place on the floor against a wall.
"hey, joon. are you taking any job applications?"
"you want another job? what about school?"
"they're not giving me enough shifts to help cover rent," taehyung replied. "i need more."
namjoon looked hesitant, worried for taehyung's well being. it seemed that the boy always pushed himself to his limit, but he couldn't argue against taehyung's need for extra income.
"hey, kook! can you grab a job application from the back?"