Adopted By Lin-Manuel Miranda

that never used to happen before

March 10
Bails,
Apparently that's what Anthony calls me now. Bails. I have a lot of new nicknames, hija, bails, Daveed just likes to say Bailey West really fast. I like nicknames. I don't know why.
There's been a weight on my chest lately, not like I have something to say, just a weight that I'm annoying to Lin. I don't like being annoying, I like to just observe usually. That's my thing. I used to keep a book of writing. When I would take the bus home I would see a lot of people, and I would write their stories.
I just want to sleep, Lin's pretty much had to pull me out of bed the last three days. Lin says he's worried about me but I can't see how. I'm just going through a phase, I'll be fine. I'm always fine, somehow, I just am.
Lin has been on the phone with Social Services lately and I don't know if I should be scared or happy. I don't know if he wants to adopt me or if I need a new place and I'm terrified. I want to be here. I wanna make breakfast with Sebastian one day and surprise Lin. I want to go to Vanessa's work and see what she does. I want to be there for Seb's first girlfriends. I want to be there for Anthony and Jasmines wedding. I can't lose them. I promised myself I wouldn't get attached because when you get attached something bad happens.
Get attached to your brother, he dies. Attached to his best friend? You're taken from him.
I've decided it's not good for me to have free time. I feel like something bad will happen and I'm scared. I'm so scared lately just scared of losing Lin, the cast, gymnastics. I don't want to be scared anymore.
-bails