I couldn't be more thankful for this week I have off. For the last two days I've been catching up on work and I've been cleaning around the apartment, cooking, catching up with friends and family but I think I'm starting to miss my boyfriend so I decided to go to his work for lunch time. Firstly, I go to a café nearby to buy us some lunch. After getting the ham and cheese sandwiches, I go over to his work. I finally get to the waiting area outside his office but he's in a meeting so I take a seat to wait.
After a while his office door opens. An older man, probably in his mid-fifties, walks out first. Zayn follows behind. I watch them in silence as the say their goodbyes. They look like old friends. They're smiling at each other so I figure the meeting went well.
"Good doing business with you, son." They shake hands.
"Like wise sir. I think your company would make a great addition to the team." I have never seen Zayn do anything related to business so to see him in his "element" is quite a sight. Even though they're just saying goodbyes you can tell that Zayn knows what he's doing and that he is in control of this little exchange. He looks all sexy and in control with his dark gray suit, sitting snugly on his figure.
"I'd like to think so. My daughter was quite taken with you. You two should go on a date again. I don't think two times in a week was enough for her." The old man laughs and Zayn laughs with him.
"I'll see what I can do sir."
"Well son, don't let me keep you any longer." He says as he spots me. Zayn spots me too and I can clearly see the look of utter surprise on his face. Guilt maybe? He shoots his PA, Mary, what I think is an annoyed look before quickly turning to the older man.
"I'll keep in touch." The older man nods then leaves. Zayn looks at me for a second before clearing his throat. "Come in." he says as he holds the door open for me. He waits for me to enter before following. He closes then locks the door behind him. He doesn't say anything because he knows that I heard everything, so to try to and ignore what just happened would be extremely stupid.
I walk over to his desk and on the desk are some pictures. I pick them up and I see Zayn standing next to a beautiful girl with his arm around her. I can't help but admire how good they look together. They look the same, she's just a little lighter than Zayn and she's got black shiny hair flowing down her back. Next to Zayn is his father and the man that just left his office. It looks as though they're at a restaurant. All smiling faces. If I didn't know better, I would say Zayn and this girl were a couple. I stare at the picture for a while until I feel a knot forming in my gut. Zayn looks apprehensive.
My daughter was quite taken with you.
You two should go on a date again.
I don't think two times in a week was enough for her.
Date again.
Again.
"Is this his daughter?" I look at him and he nods uncertainly. "When was this?"
"About two weeks ago."
"While I was away, you were going on dates with another woman?"
"It's not like that baby."
"Then what's it like?"
"It was a business thing and you weren't here so her dad..." that's about all I hear because it suddenly hits me like a ton of bricks. He stops talking as I scoff.
If I remember correctly, that's when he was drunk, drinking or whatever the hell he was doing. He got angry at me for going out while he was doing the same thing. If he also went out, I don't understand why he made such a big deal out of me going out to have drinks. That is unless he thought I was doing what he was busy doing.
"Those nights you were drinking?" he nods but he doesn't look me in the eye. "So because I wasn't here, your parents were playing match maker and you just couldn't say no, could you?"
"It's not-" He starts but I cut him off.
"Right...you basically accused me of cheating because you were doing the same damn thing." He steps closer but I move backwards. "Funny because the only one cheating was you. You are unbelievable. You made me feel guilty for not talking with you while you were busy going on dates with someone else." I say in disbelief.
"It wasn't a date. Baby just listen to me..."
"I won't listen to anything you have to say because you are cruel." I shake my head at him and he starts running his hands through his hair. "So your dad was right. You were fooling around this whole time. Was I just a game to you?"
"Look I wanted to show my dad that he doesn't know what's best for me and that if we wanted to, you and I could make it work. It was never a game."
"So this was your sick way of rebelling against your parents. Like some teenager. Was I a point to prove at your dad? Because your dad said something you had to 'prove him wrong'. It didn't matter who you hurt in the proses."
"It was never like that."
"Then what was it like Zayn, because I can't seem to understand." I distance myself even further from him. "oh yeah my parents are old fashioned and don't want me dating anyone who is too different from me so let me just take a black girl who's the total opposite from me and make my parents mad with that. That sound accurate Zayn?" he furrows his eyebrows and I can tell he's starting to get mad. "You knew they were going to disapprove and you just wanted to rub our relationship in their faces. How could I have not seen it..." though that last part is me asking myself rather than him.
"No that's not what I was doing and you know it."
"I don't know anything Zayn!" My voice raises.
"Then trust me." he's also getting agitated, I can tell.
"Was is it an act this whole time?" I ask.
"No it wasn't. you know it's not."
"How would I know?" I remember him asking me the exact same question once. "Were you ever going to tell me about her?"
"No, because nothing would've come of it. My dad tried to push it there but I wouldn't have. I would never cheat on you."
"Yet you went on a date with her. Is that not cheating to you?" he tries to reason that it wasn't a date but I'm having none of it. "Or maybe you just didn't care. I never meant that much to you did I?'
"You did."
"The signs were there from the start. You never wanted me. you tried to tell me and I didn't believe you. It's my fault actually."
"Melony stop looking for reasons to fault this relationship. It was a good relationship and you know it. We were happy." He is absolutely right. Even though we had our up and downs, I was happy. Perhaps the happiest I've ever been in a relationship. But I won't admit that to him right now.
"You two look good together. Is this what you wanted? Someone "not so different from you"?"
"Look if you would just stop with your insecurities for one second, and listen to me for once." He sighs "It's not about your religion, race or anything, it has nothing to do with the fact that you're black and I'm not." His voice has risen and I'm sure Mary can hear us from where she's sitting.
"It has everything to do with the fact that I'm black. I'm sure when you're done proving your point, you'll leave as fast as you came and go back to that." I point to the girl in the picture "Back to who you should be dating right?" his jaw clenches and it agitates me more. Why is he getting mad? "Couldn't wait until we broke up before going on dates huh?"
"Stop being so fucking clingy and insecure and listen to me." He shouts at me and flinch a bit at his loudness. I scoff.
"I'm being clingy? What? I shouldn't say anything and watch you cheat on me with a smile on your face. But then again I'm sure it's not cheating to you since I'm almost certain you don't consider this a real relationship. I'm just a point you tried to prove." I shrug and huffs.
"I wasn't cheating. When her and my dad asked, it was hard saying no to him. I just couldn't say no okay." His voice is softer and pleading. As if he's asking me to understand or agree with him. But the fact that he couldn't stand up for his girlfriend or at least mention that I exist proves to me that he doesn't really care about me. It makes what I'm about to do easier.
"Then let me make it easy for you. I'm done with you and your games." He moves extremely fast as he stands in front of me. he cradles my face and he has a pleading look on his face.
"Don't do this. You're going to end it just like that? Like I didn't mean anything to you?"
"I should be asking you that question Zayn."
"Did we really mean that little to you? Don't do this please baby. We said all in remember?" I can't but laugh as I pull my face away from his hands. The word baby sickens me as it leaves his mouth. It gives me butterflies in my stomach, but not the good kind. This is not a feeling I ever want to feel again.
"Yeah but only one of us meant those words." I quickly grab my handbag from the chair where I must've put it and I head for the door. Just as my hand reaches for the doorknob, he grabs my other arm. A lump grows in my throat and all I can think about is running out of here. Running so that he can't see the hurt that he's caused. Running so that he doesn't see how much he means to me. so that he doesn't have one more thing to revel in.
I can't believe I was so stupid. I can't help but scoff.
And to think I was falling for him...
With that I leave his office, and him behind.
I'm done with him.