It's always easy to procrastinate. For one to put off something they wanted to do. But Hammond MacKenzie had never procrastinated. Putting something off meant he would put the livelihood of his clan, his sister, his brother-in-arms and best friends in danger. He was always first out of the Keep and last to take his seat at a meal. He would put everyone's needs before his own. So Hammond never expected he would ever find one thing he would put on hold. He was fearless, known as one of the most brave warriors around the Highlands. Some argued that he was foolhardy, but Hammond merely responded that he did what was necessary for the survival of his clan, and the safety of his family.
So imagine, a fearless warrior fearful of a slip of his wife.
He had weeks to go up to her. But every night, she would be asleep, or occasionally pretend to be when he went to bed. She would turn her back, with her shift buttoned to her neck. The night after she had stalked off, Hammond had tried his best to entice her back to his side. For just that one night, the passion had been explosive, as he explored her as one would plunder the high seas.
But after that, Amhuinn was as frigid as the worst winter in the Highlands. But what hurt the most, was that the frigidity only extended to him. As he trained with his men in the fields, he saw her walking across the courtyard sharing a laugh with Gillian. Occasionally, when Adair ran in to ask the men questions with his friends, he could see her standing and observing her son from a far corner. But her eyes were always trained on the blond miniature of her, and never once had Amhuinn met his eyes from then on. He watched as she played with him, and a part of him felt relief that they were now warming up to each other, as Adair began to carve out his own home in the Keep. Her brother too, grew to made friends with everyone.
How was it that Hammond was the one who had insisted to bring them in, but now the siblings and Adair were more at home with everyone else but him?
"Ye look like someone spat in yer bowl. What's the matter?"
A familiar voice made Hammond turn, and he grinned when he saw he dark features of his best friend.
"Yer back early. What brings yer here? And is Evie alright?" he immediately asked, as they exchanged a hug.
Connor leaned against his haunches as he nodded. "O'course. But we shortened the trip cause yer cousin was anxious being away from Ammi." Connor paused, and raised a brow when he saw Hammond's features flinch. "What happened? Married life dinna agree with ye already?"
"Not so much that, as much as I dinna... understand it." Hammond grounded out, letting his claymore lean against the side of the barn where he had been practicing alone after sending the men back in for their evening wash before dinner.
"What happened?" Connor chuckled. "Ne'er try ter understand the women. Just placate them."
Hammond snorted and looked at Connor skeptically. "Is that yer secret ter a happy marriage?"
The dark haired first-in-command laughed. "Somewhat. But Evie's an easy wife ter keep happy. As long as I... Wait." he paused, and then looked at Hammond carefully. "Do ye love yer wife?"
"Love is-"
"Dinna give me that rubbish aboot love making one weak. Do ye or do ye nae love Ammi?" Connor insisted.
Hammond found his throat dry, instead of coming up with an answer. How could he answer that? Watching her laugh brought him joy, and he capability warmed him from inside out. Her obvious care for not only her son, but everyone around her was something Hammond rarely saw from anyone else. He... loved her, that much he could admit to himself. But how could he admit it to anyone else?
"Ye do, dinna ye." Of course, Connor wasn't just anyone else. They had practically grew up together.
His best friend sighed, running a hand through his dark hair. "If ye do, then ye have ter tell her and act like ye do. From what Tamhas and Tristan have told me, ye two have barely exchanged two words with each other o'er the past fortnight and a half. Plus, ye have apparently spent more time in the training field then ye have in the Keep with Ammi. Ye need ter get ter know her, ye know?"
"I have work ter do, and a clan ter care for." Hammond replied gruffly, not meeting Connor's eyes. He missed the way Connor rolled his eyes, but did not miss the shove his best friend gave him.
"Dinna be an idiot, Hammond. Go and speak ter her afore ye regret nae doing something aboot it."
"But-"
Before Hammond could actually say what was on his mind, a maid came running out of the Keep, looking anxious and red faced. Hammond was immediately on alert, fearful of some danger which may be coming to the clan. His body straightened like a rod as he stood forward, eyes watchful as the maid caught her breathe. But when she looked up, it wasn't to Hammond she looked at, but Connor, who paled the moment she spoke.
"Tis Lady Evie. The bairn is coming."
---
When the two men entered the main entrance, the Keep was in a frenzy. Obvious remains of what was supposed to be an evening meal laid scattered on the tables in the Great Hall. The men had obviously been banished to the outside, from what Hammond and Connor observed on their way running in. The ones who remained were mostly females. Hammond quickly took in a dozen maids running up with basins of steaming water, with a few other's trailing behind carrying rags and cloth. Standing at the foot of the stairs, looking oddly placed enough, was a rather confused looking Adair.
Much to Hammond's surprise, the blond boy ran up to him when he appeared. It was a warm feeling when he clutch on to the edges of his kilt, large blue eyes appearing quite vulnerable as he asked in his young voice. "Is e'rything gonna be alright, Hammond? Mama ran up and she looked quite scared."
Hammond realized by then that his best friend had took off up the stairwell the moment he had entered. Not wanting to leave Adair by himself when he was clearly petrified, the male leaned down and picked the four and a half year old up, patting his head. "Tis gonna be fine. Aunty Evie's just gonna have a bairn. Yer gonna have a playmate soon! And a cousin."
Following in Connor's footsteps, he began ascending the stairs, reaching the first landing just in time to see his dark headed friend get pushed out of a room quite firmly, and was met with an amused chuckle from Tamhas, who leaned on the wall opposite the door Connor had just been ejected from.
"Dinna try, Connor. My sister doesnae like men aroond her when she works."
"But tis my wife! Tis my right ter be aroond her." Connor argued.
"Your wife does not want you anywhere near her!" the voice from within screamed with enough force to make the three men outside wince.
Adair had immediately buried his head within Hammond's neck, his little body shivering. Even for someone whose never been a father before, he knew he shouldn't be near here. From what he remembered, he and his father spent the night in the study the day his mother gave birth to Gillian. Speaking of which, "Where is my sister?" he asked.
Tamhas cocked his head to the closed chamber. "Inside. Along with Griselda, Mrs. O'Leary and a couple of other maids. They been scurrying back and forth with water and the likes, but we're nae aboot ter be let in, that's fer sure."
"Yev seen this afore?" Hammond asked, with an amused look flickering over Connor, who seem to think staring at the door would make it open for him.
Tamhas nodded. "When me Ma was helping with births back on Kincaid land. Dinna worry Connor," the brother of his wife called, not that the other heard. "My sister knows what she's doing."
"Tisnae that. Evie's own mither had a difficult birth. They've been worried since the day she found out she was with child. Let him simmer." Hammond explained. But despite his attempt to keep his tone flippant, he couldn't quite keep the worry out of his eyes. Add that on to the fact that he and his wife had not spoken in weeks, and now he just looked tired and wizened.
"But us standing here isnae gonna help anything. We're a hindrance here Connor. Let's go ter the study."
"I'm nae leaving." Connor stubbornly retorted. Hammond rolled his eyes, passed Adair on to Tamhas's outstretched arms and grabbed his best friend by the shoulder. The other immediately tried to fight back, but Hammond was not his laird for no reason.
"We're a hindrance, Connor. Need I explain it ter ye? We'll get in the way. The study is just upstairs. They'll know how to get us. Now let's go."
And for the next hours, or what seemed like days to Connor, they remained within the study. The screams ebbed and flowed. Meals were delivered to everyone, but Connor barely touched his roast. Tamhas and Hammond ate with gusto, and it was over the course of the meal that he discovered how Adair liked his food. He tried to cajole the boy with some grilled corn, but the boy would only take corn bread and roast, much to his dismay.
By the time the moon hung high in the sky, the four year old had fallen asleep in his arms, midway through him telling another story of one of his many battles in the Highlands. Connor had wondered out loud if that was an appropriate story for a child of Adair's age, but Hammond was helpless against the wide-eyed wonder the boy gave him. Besides, the father-to-be was too anxious pacing the study to notice when Hammond just shrugged and continued.
It was a scene where Adair was asleep on an equally asleep Hammond's chest, with Tamhas sprawled out in a sofa and Connor half-asleep on a sofa, that Amhuinn walked in on as the sun rose. Her dress was blood stained, with her blonde hair limp and tied back, and obvious dark circles under her eyes as she took in the scene and couldn't resist the wane, sad smile that came over her lips.
The moment Amhuinn took a step in, the noise jolted the anxious Connor awake. He in turn knocked over an empty bottle of whiskey they had been drinking since the night before, the loud crash waking up Hammond. He caught Adair before he slid to the ground, but Tamhas remained dead to the world. Connor's eyes held a question that needed no answer as he glared at Amhuinn.
Hammond bristled, wanting for the first time, to growl at his best friend to back off, for he could see how tired his wife looked, but Amhuinn answered Connor before he could even say a word. "Yer son is a loud lad. He's upstairs."
"And Evie?" he asked, his voice trembling.
"Tired, but otherwise fine. Keep her off her feet fer the next few weeks, but after that she'll be right as rain. I've told Gilly and Mrs. O'Leary what herbs she should be given everyday till the bleeding stops."
Connor didn't even waste a breathe to thank her, but Amhuinn understood his anxiousness as he rushed out. He would've knocked her over in the process had Hammond not been nearby, a fact Amhuinn had not been aware of. When she stumbled from Connor's passing, the strong hand held the small of her back. Amhuinn jolted and took a step back. Hardened eyes glared at Hammond, but softened when she realized he held a sleeping Adair. "Sorry, I dinna have time ter look fer him. Evie... her pains were coming in too fast, I needed ter get her in a room as quick as I could."
"Dinna worry, he was right as rain. He doesna like his greens, does he?" Hammond's voice was hesitant, unsure of his boundaries.
Amhuinn's heart thudded in her chest as she reached up to sweep a lock of stray hair away from Adair's closed eyes. "He is headstrong. Stubborn. But he's learning." The softness in Amhuinn's voice was obvious. Did she ever speak about him in such tones? Hammond couldn't help but wonder. "Do ye want ter see yer new nephew?"
Without waiting for an answer, she turned on her heels, and Hammond had no choice but to follow her down the stairwell.
As they entered the chamber which had been barred from entry the night before, the warm vibe was obvious. The rising sun that illuminated the chamber through the windows, shone brightly on a sleepy looking Evie, and an enchanted Connor cradling his newborn son in his arms. Even as a newborn, he had a head of thick black hair just like his father's, and Hammond smiled when he saw Connor cooing at the sleeping boy. "I've ne'er seen Connor like this afore."
"Having a child changes people, I think. It's a new person who is technically a mixture of ye and yer other half, after all. A sign of love." Amhuinn responded softly next to him.
"Nae, not all the time. Adair is nae sign of love between ye and that bastard Kincaid, and yet ye love Adair whole heartedly." he responded.
She shook her head. "Adair is a sign of love. The love my mither still had fer me e'en if I was considered a disgrace by the rest of me clan. The love I have fer my son, regardless of who his father was."
Hammond fell silent, seemingly humbled by her words. Amhuinn's eyes never left the couple on the bed, her chest aching when Connor tenderly kissed an exhausted Evie, switching his attention between his wife and his son. It was obvious Connor loved his wife. It was a love Amhuinn had thought she could live without. But now? Now she was no longer sure.
"Ye have a lot of love in yer heart, Ammi." Hammond commented.
"I have enough for plenty. E'en ye, Hammond." She turned to look at him, and for that split second, Hammond's breath caught at the distraught look she wore in her blue eyes. The idea that he had caused such pain drove a mallet in his chest. "But ye deny it, e'en fer yerself."
Without waiting for his answer, she turned on her heels to walk off, determination steeling her gait. First, she had to wash off and get herself clean clothes. And then, she needed to think. She needed to think long, and hard.