"Hey Zel, can you give me a hand?"PJ called from the kitchen.
"Yeah I'll be there in a second. Just finishing up some bills." I yelled from the computer room.
Life with PJ was absolutely amazing. In a matter of 7 months, he turned the world that use to be filled with blacks and greys, into color. He made me so very happy. In fact it was the happiest I had ever been. With Him and Taylor by my side, I wasn't alone anymore. And being alone was no longer something I wanted.
After a few months of dating, we decided to move in together. Some people would think it was rushed, but we didn't care. We just knew that him moving into my flat was the right thing to do.
I paid the last bill and made my way to the kitchen. The sight before me had me in a giggling fit. PJ was wearing his chef hat from one of his earlier videos and a pink apron, that said 'I Wuv Cooking'. He was covered in flower from head to toe. There was a burning smell coming clouding the kitchen. It was probably from the burnt pizza he had in his hands.
"Fuck!" He yelled. I giggled again. I loved it when he cursed.
He smiled. "What are you laughing at?"
"Well if you must know, I was laughing at how cute my boyfriend looks when he's frustrated." I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.
He raised an eyebrow while his hands slid on my waist. "Oh really?" I nodded. "Well we can't have that, now can we?"
Before I could respond, PJ engulfed me into a kiss. It didn't take long for me to melt into it. I still felt the same vibration from our first kiss. Always leaving me so content and unsatisfied at the same time. My hands were slowly making my way to them hem of his shirt when my stomach rumbled loudly.
PJ pulled away with a chuckle. "I should get us dinner. "
I pouted. "Food can wait." As if on cue, my stomach rumbled again.
"Seriously, I don't want to upset the stomach goblins." He played with a strand of my long, brown hair. "So whats shall it be? Pizza or Chinese?"
"Chinese sounds great. I'll call it in, but hurry back okay?"
"Of course my lady." He smiled before kissing me softly.
PJ left quickly and I made my way to the computer room. I went to PJ's desk where we kept all the menus. After about five minutes of sorting through the drawer of menus, I gave up and went through the drawer above it. I realized quickly that it was a drawer of personal letters and the menu would definitely not be in there. I was about the drawer when something that made my heart stop.
With shaky finger, I pulled the letter out from the drawer. As I silently read the letter, my vision became cloudy. I couldn't believe what I had read. It seemed so impossible.
This can't be happening. No, he wouldn't. He just wouldn't hurt me like this. No. I read the letter again. This has to be a joke. A cruel, sick joke.
Suddenly the front door opened and PJ called out, "Hey I forgot my wallet!"
I didn't answer. I couldn't answer.
"Zel?"
I heard PJ's footsteps come closer to the computer room, but I was still frozen. The outside of me was like stone and passive, but the inside of me was screaming.
"There you are. I was ju-" PJ stopped right in the doorway.
I read the letter quietly:
"Dear Mr. Liguori,
I am very pleased to hear that Zelda has begun to open up to you and that things are going well. I hope that one day she will be able to let go of her past and move on completely. However, I feel she is too damaged to completely forget what it's like to be so alone and hurt. We can only pray for the best. As for this month's payment, I would very much like to discuss this further with you. Please write me back a location for us to talk over this issue. If you cannot write, you have my email and phone number.
Sincerely, Michael Evans."
After a minute of silence, PJ finally spoke. "Zelda please let me explain."
"Oh please do! Because I would love to hear how my boyfriend betrayed me." I hissed.
His head hung low. "Your father came to me. I was sitting in a café, finishing some things for school and he approached me. He said he needed my help with his Daughter. He told me everything about your past and how I needed to gain your trust. All I had to was make you happy. At first I thought he was crazy, but then he made me an offer that at the time was everything to me."
"How much?" I interrupted him.
"Wha-"
"What is my father paying you to date me?"
I forced myself to look up at PJ, but he refused to make eye contact. "He offered to pay my entire student loans."
I bit back tears. I didn't want this to be true. Part of me wished I hadn't found that stupid letter. I didn't even want to look at him, but I needed to see the truth in his eyes.
"So everything, all of it, was a lie? Pretending to not know who I was, acting like you cared, saying... saying you loved me... that was all an act?"
"Yes the pretending to know you was a lie," His voice was shaky and low. "But the caring and loving was true. That part wasn't a lie."
"You lied to me. Everything was a lie." He started to protest, but I shook my head in disbelief. "You lied to me."
I crumbled the letter in my hand. "And to think I fell in love with you."
PJ's head snapped up and looked longingly at me. I had never said I had loved him before. He had told me many times that he loved me, but I wasn't ready to say the words yet. Yes I felt them, but I couldn't bring myself to say them. His face soon fell somber once he remembered the situation we were in.
His eyes were red and his face was Grim. "I know there is not a single thing I could say to make you forgive me for lying to you, but I swear, on everything that is good in this world, I love you with all my heart."
I searched his eyes and for a moment I believed him. But then I remembered every time I told PJ about my family and my past and how his eyes looked the same as they did now.
Full of lies.
"Get out." I whispered.
"Zelda-"
"GET OUT!" I yelled.
He made a move to reach out to me, but I stepped back. His eyes were pleading at me not to make him leave. Part of me, that part that wished I hadn't found the letter, wanted him to stay. But it was too late now. I knew the truth and it couldn't be taken back.
I turned my back to him and waited for him to leave. After a few minutes, I heard his feet leave the room and the front door slam. That's when the tears started to pour out. Slowly, I fell to the ground, the letter firm in my grasp. My chest hurt and I felt broken. My world was crashing down.
Once the tears stopped, I decided to further my heartbreak by reading the rest of the letters. There were about fifty of them, going back as far as two months before I first met PJ. The one I had found was the most recent, dating back to last week. The return address was somewhere in London. Meaning my Dad lived here now. Which begged the question, how long he lived here? Did he ever plan on making his presence known? And why hadn't he come to me?
One by one, I read each letter. They basically all said the same thing. My dad was happy to hear on my improvement or lack of, depending on the day. There was mention of money and meet ups. I noticed that the days they had planned to meet matched when PJ would visit an old friend I hadn't met.
So there was another thing he lied to me about.
I finally reached the letter that was sent a few days before the night on he roof. I read the letter and again my heart clenched in agony. It seemed PJ wasn't the only one to betray me.
There was a knock on the front door. I wiped away all the tears and made my way to the door. Without looking through the peephole, I opened the door and was amazed to see who was at the door.
"Let me guess, PJ told you what happened so you decided to come and confess in hopes I wouldn't hate you too." I sneered.
Taylor shifted nervously and avoided my gaze. "You read the letters."
I stared at her, holding back more tears. "How could you? My best friend."
"I'm so sorry Zelda." She sobbed.
I hadn't realized I still had the letter in my hand and I began to read it to her.
"Taylor has informed me that Zelda has agreed to go to this party with her. This might be your only chance since I don't think she will agree to something again. They will be at the party at 7 o'clock. Taylor will pretend to leave momentarily, giving you time to talk to her. Be cautious. Zelda isn't a fool and will suspect something if you're not careful."
Taylor was sobbing and repeatedly saying she was sorry, but I couldn't believe her either.
"My dad was wrong about one thing." I whispered. "I am a fool, because I trusted you two." And then I slammed the door in her face.
A few days had passed since then. PJ had come back, but I ignored him most of the time. Taylor kept calling me and I ignored her too. I didn't think I could forgive them for what they had done. They had hurt me more than I had ever been hurt.
"Zelda." PJ whispered. He was trying to get my attention for the 100th time that day. But I wouldn't even glance in his direction.
"Zelda I'm leaving." He said quietly, with a broken voice. "And I'm not coming back."
My heart stopped, but I still wouldn't look at him.
He continued on. "It's clear that you don't want me here. I said I would leave when you told me to, so I am. I've put you through too much already. I don't want to make it worse." I didn't even move. "Goodbye Zelda."
Then I heard him leave the living room and out the front door. That's when I finally looked back. That's when the tears hit again. This time though, they were harder than before. Crying was something I was very used to. Some nights I would actually cry myself to sleep. But when PJ came into my life the crying stopped. Now that he was gone, the void in me hurt even more.
And that's when I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and take control in my life. I got up from the couch and went to the computer room. PJ had taken everything from his side of the room. Even his computer was gone. He must have been moving everything out little by little.
I went onto my computer, thankful that I remembered PJ's email and password. Sure enough, my fathers email address was in his contacts. I clicked his name and started to write the email.
To: Michael Evans
From: PJ Liguori
She found out. Meet me at Hyde park tomorrow at 2 P.M.
There was a high chance this wouldn't work. PJ could have already told him that I knew. They could have met up already and he knew it was me. Just then I received an Email back.
To: PJ Liguori
From: Michael Evans
Taylor told me. See you then.
I sighed with relief. I was in the clear. The next day I would get to see my father after 16 years. My eyes trailed over to the picture of my sister I had on my desk.
"Show no fear Zelda." I said to myself. "You are strong."