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~Two Years Later~
Age:22
Phobe's POV~
My eyes bolt open as the sunlight from my bedroom window hits my face and I instantly sit up on my bed just as my alarm goes off, alerting me that it is six in the morning and that I have an very busy day ahead of me.
It's an big day for everyone in the family my mother who will be getting married to her fiancé Phillip who had recently asked my mother to marry him after being together for an year and a few months. I could see the chemistry between them, the way she looks at him and the way he looks at her. He makes her smile, laugh and just really happy and I'm glad mom finally found someone who can keep her smiling and cure her heartbreak from my dad's death...
Dad's death.. Both my dad's death actually... Mom had told me everything after Jackson had finally decided to tell my mom what he knew but refused for me to be there. She had come home with the palest face, her eyes bloodshot, her arms and legs were shaking as her lip trembled, crying out every word Jackson had said.
Jarred was my step father and Victor my biological... I found it hard to believe, I knew I also couldn't forgive Jackson from keeping something like that from my mom and I after everything we've been through.
I trusted him, loved him, and cared for him while he kept my family secrets away from me.
I don't think I could forgive him, I don't think I ever will, but I can't stop thinking that I actually loved him, I actually thought I had loosened him enough for him to let me in and tell me everything like a normal couple would. To hold me tight against his chest, stroking my hair and quietly speaking, our hands intertwined and finally at the end he would tell me how sorry he is and how much he loves me.
But after all of that, I knew it was worth for nothing apart from a emptiness in my heart.
He said he had given up on me, tho I did nothing. He left me crying in that hospital room where no one acknowledged that I couldn't be comforted with small pathetic talks, stroking my hair or just giving me a look. He didn't bother contacting me ever again after all those I love you's, those kisses, the way he touched me and electricity would run through my body like crazy, I never got to say goodbye.
I thought what we had was something real, something that would last forever.
At the high school graduation I actually had some hope that Jackson would be there and come clean, take the courage and just tell me everything in his own point of view but the luck there was nothing, he didn't show up.
I was an total mess until I finally decided to forget about the past and focus on my schoolwork and internship where I had met a whole bunch of new people. I kept in contact with a lot of my old friends though it was really hard meeting up and everything. In college I even gotten an new boyfriend, Kyle who is an great guy and just really humble and down to earth. He's into many of the things I like so we get along really well.
"Knock, knock." I look up from the floor to see Debbie standing besides my door, a hot steaming cup of coffee in her hand with a huge excited grin spread across her face.
"Morning." I do my best to pull on a sly smile, shifting my legs off the bed and placing my feet against the cold floorboard.
"Morning dear," She moves besides my bed and takes a seat, handing over the coffee. "For you."
"Mhh," I take a sip, feeling myself waking up and as if I'm ready to go. "Thank you," I smile slightly, pressing the cup against my lip.
"Hopefully it works." She laughs. "Your mother said we'll be leaving in an hour so if you need to get ready-" She looks down at my pyjamas before letting out a small chuckle, "We got a big day ahead of us!".
"Yeah," I smile again and just then Violet -another of my mom's close friends- walks into my room with a cereal bowl in her hand.
"Eat up, buttercup." She jokes around, buttercup was an nickname she had given me when I was much younger, possibly that was the name of her cat who I used to play with all the time.
She was an good cat with black and white fur, always playful and cheerful she was like a best friend in my early years.
I take the bowl from her, thanking her before swallowing a spoonful of cereal watching as Violet joins Debbie and I on the bed.
"Is everyone here?" I ask, gesturing to the bridesmaids that mom had asked to come early so we could get our hair and make-up done along with pedicure and manicure at the salon together so it wouldn't be stressful for any one of them.
"Almost, Cassidy is going to meet us there since they delayed the flights." Debbie tells me, excitement runs through my body knowing that I'm going to see my old best friend again after two years of emailing, we've kept in contact since I moved back with my mom who lived with Phillip all the way in Manhattan where it's such an lovely place, really busy but I adore everything about it. I feel more welcomed but feel as if I don't feel as free anymore but it's probably just the homesickness kicking in, I guess?
"That's great." I tell Debbie, just as Violet gets up on her feet, "I'm going back downstairs to help out with the quick clean!" She smiles wide before heading out of the room, her heels echoing through the hallway as she makes her way down. Debbie also stands up as I do too along with her, watching her intensely.
"I should go down and help out too, Phobe." She grins wide before giving me a quick hug.
"Debbie, wait.. I need to ask you something." I tell her, looking at her long and hard. Her eyebrows are raised high as she places a hand on my shoulder.
"What is it, sweetie?" She asks, giving my hair a quick stroke before smiling slightly.
"I...Is he going to be there?".
Her hand moves off my shoulder and her smile disappears, "I don't know. That's up to him, I guess. Don't let him get to you, we all know how he is. I know he's my son but..-" Her words trail off.
"Okay," I simply say before turning away.
"I'm going to go and help out," She adds.
I pull on another sly smile before giving her a small quick hug and pulling away, "Thank you, I'll be down in a few minutes." I grin and with a nod she heads downstairs, leaving me in the large bedroom hoping I would get to see Jackson tonight..
.
.
.
Cassidy and I were sitting next to each other as the hairdressers were doing our hair exactly how mom had wanted it. The perfect salon smelt like roses, the walls are a light pink, the ceiling a smooth type of green with a chandelier handing from it.
"Excited for tonight?" Cassidy looks over at me with a smile on her face.
"Nervous actually," I admit, laughing and starring into my reflection comparing it to hers.
"Nervous?" She chuckles. "Come on, you're going to be with me and Kyle." She grins wide and I feel this sadness hit me, I have no clue why.
Picking at my nails I start to wonder, "What if I fall because of my heels?".
Cassidy laughs. Her face goes red from how 'humorous' I must be to her.
"You're not going to fall, Pheebs." She shakes her head slightly before looking back down at the magazine in her hands.
"Stop over thinking everything,".
I don't over think, I think...
"I'll try." I sigh, sinking down on my seat slightly so I could rest my head back slightly.
"It's your mom's wedding, we'll party, have fun and maybe even a little drunk." She winks, smirking a bit.
"Me? Drunk? Mom would kill me. Imagine being drunk in the wedding photos." I laugh at the thought, rolling my eyes. Suddenly I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket.
"Who is it?" Cassidy asks as I pull out my phone, Kyle's ID written on the screen.
"Kyle," I tell her and accept the call.
"Hey," I breathe out.
"Hey babe." He speaks from the other end of the call.
"What's up?" I smile softly, it's odd for him to be calling this early.
"Nothing much, just wanted to hear your voice." I roll my eyes at his cheesy comment.
"What's the real reason?" I laugh. "Why are you up so early!".
"Phillip texted saying we're going to meet at a bar in a few, grab a few drinks. When are you done so maybe we can hang out for a bit?" He chuckles.
"We'll be done in an hour or so. I don't think we'll be able to go two metres away from everyone."
"We'll try," He says before adding, "I got to go baby, see you soon."
"Bye Kyle," I smile, hanging up.
I can feel Cassidy's gaze on me once I slide my phone back into my pocket. I turn my head and a grin is spread across her face.
"Well!?" She grabs onto my arm and shakes it excitedly, earning attention from the moms and others.
"He just wants to hang out later, calm down." I laugh, rolling my eyes sarcastically.
"Just? Hmm sure." She winks, smirking. I roll my eyes, straightening my back to sit up properly on the leather chair.
"He isn't like that." I speak up after a few minutes. "Plus can we stop talking about this? Mom's will get suspicious." I laugh.
"Mhhm, whatever you say Pheebs." She grins, looking down at the magazine again.
.
.
.
"Mom, you look incredible." I take in her figure, standing in the white wedding dress with a smile spread wide across her face, her eyes sparkling from the sunlight hitting the small room.
"Thank you so much sweetie," She opens her arms wide and I give her a tight long hug before pulling away and smiling back at her.
"Look at my masterpiece," Violet claps her hands together once she's done applying mom's makeup on. "You look gorgeous Mia," Debbie grins.
Mom's smile widens as her eyes travel to her best friend's before moving back to me. "You'll look so beautiful in a white grown." Mom sniffles, meeting my eyes.
"Mom don't think ahead," I laugh, re- wrapping my arms around her, carefully. "Think about how perfect tonight's going to be. I'm really happy that you have Phillip, I know how much you two love each other and everything will be perfect." I whisper.
"I love you sweetheart," She kisses my forehead softly, her arms tightening around me as I notice a tear running down her cheek.
"Love you too, please don't get all emotional mom. You don't want to look like a mess," I chuckle, grinning wide.
"Your right," She laughs, pulling away.
"Honey, we have a few more minutes until the big appearance. Let me just quickly go over your makeup and add a little more spray then you're done," Violet speaks up an small apologetic look on her face as she turns to me.
"Go ahead, the bride is a all yours." I smile at Violet and mom before turning on my heal.
"Phobe?" Mom says, earning my attention again.
"Yes?".
"You look so beautiful darling," She smiles wide, holding her hands together.
I glance down at my creamed coloured strapless dress with beautiful patterns on it, I compare it to my mom's big white gown and pull on a small smile before nodding, "Not as beautiful as you, mom." I eye her once more before gripping into the doorknob. "I'm going to leave you to it, I'll go make sure the men aren't drink yet."
I hear mom chuckle as I close the door behind me, suddenly I'm pulled away from the door. I come face to face with Kyle who has a huge grin on his face. His muscular arm swings around my waist, pulling me closer towards him as a kiss is placed just above my collarbone.
"Someone looks beautiful," Kyle whispers, Intertwining our hands together and supporting my back as we slowly dance to the slow music in the background.
"You look so handsome." I take in his figure in an suit and tie along with his bright blue eyes and blonde perfect hair. His arms guide me throughout the dance, waltzing around the small reception before moving outside.
"You've improved on your waltz," I smirk, taking in the overwhelming and breathtaking garden decorated with beautiful flowers in all different shapes and sizes. The aisle has pedals spread out on it, giving that extra touch of happiness in the room somehow.
"Thank you and you." He wraps his arms around my waist again before a smirk also appears on his face as well.
"I think I already was good enough," I pout, sliding my arms around his neck. Breathing in his cologne sprayed onto his button up shirt.
"Keep dreaming." He smirks wider before placing a kiss against my lips softly. Rolling my eyes, I lean my head on his chest as we continue to dance to the song. I hum along for a little bit, closing my eyes tight .
"I love you," He speaks softly.
My eyes open quick before I can meet his eyes. It was the first time he had said that he loved me. The very first time after two years of saying it for nothing, I didn't know if I was ready to say it back. To tell someone I loved them. To be happy one minute then the next your crying onto your pillow, waiting for that one person to come back but when he doesn't you fall, you fall and no one catches you. You fall into a circle where you start off smiling then your crying again.
"I.." I begin, but Cassidy interrupts by excusing herself and speaking up.
"Hey lover birds sorry to interrupt but it's wedding time! The guest should be arriving any minute now!".
"I'll see you in a few," Kyle kisses my forehead before removing his arms around me.
"Bye Kyle." I pull on a smile and watch him leave back into the reception.
"What was that all about?" Cassidy asks, raising a brow.
"Nothing," I mutter before looking around.
"It's wedding time." I smile.
.
.
.
Mom looks so beautiful walking down the aisle with grandpa's arm hooked around hers. Her eyes sparkle in the sunlight as her smile brightens up the whole garden. I could see many of the other bridesmaids getting emotional but holding themselves together as finally mom meets Phillip at the end if the aisle.
"Love you mom," I whisper before smiling wide at her and watching as the celebrant guides the audience.
As the vows are being spoken I take a quick glance over at the entrance door to the garden, suddenly I feel my heart drop.
Jackson.
The grip around my bouquet of flowers tightens and I feel my insides burning. My heart beats faster although he is a few metres from me I could feel his warmth hitting against my skin.
Meeting my eyes for a split second he pushes himself off the doorframe and takes a few steps towards me.
We're like magnets. We attract though we may not want to. Opposites, the two magnets are opposites being separated until you see each other again and instantly you want to attach.
"Jackson," I breathe out, my tongue twisting at his name. The familiar noun is sour to my mouth, I've unspoken his name for two years now saying it is like a burn running down my throat and into my stomach.
A tear rolls down my cheek and I know he sees it, because his face turns to the floor before turning away. I want to run to him, hug him, slap him, kiss him all these mixed emotions take over me but all I know is that I have to stand here and watch him walk away slowly, ignoring my presence as if he never knew me.
.
.
.
"Jackson's here." Cassidy informs me after the ceremony. Her eyes dig into mine, looking for the fear and sadness I know she'll find deep in my eyes but before she can see those emotions I face down at the glass in my hand.
"I know," I mumble, sliding my finger over the glass. Biting inside my cheek I look back up to see him standing by the small mini bar set up a metre or two away. A glass is placed in his hand, full of liquor and his other hand dug into his pocket of his pants.
The tuxedo he has come in has suited him perfectly, exposing his muscular arms and torso through the button up shirt. I secretly think he's been working out.
"Phobe? Earth to Phobe!?" Cassidy waves her hand in front of my face, taking me away from my thoughts.
"Sorry, I was just.. err.. Sorry." I fail at recovering myself but chances are she didn't notice it was him I was looking at.
"It's fine," She pulls on a small smile before glancing down at her glass. "I'm going to refill, want some?".
"Sure." I hand over my glass as she grins wide. "Be back in a few!" She rushes over to the mini bar where Jackson has now moved from.
I glance around the garden this time to find him talking to a few guys, probably around our age or something but it's highly unlikely for Jackson to socialise much. I notice his eyes move to me every few seconds, a smile appears
on his face keeping his eyes on me. I feel my heart skip a beat and happiness fill me, but that's all gone once I realise it's for another girl. She flicks her blonde curly hair before approaching Jackson. She's perfect. Her hair falls down to her waist, her perfect figure is tall with the curvy hips every guys desires on a girl.
This girl wraps her arms around Jackson, her hands tug into his hair as his muscular arms slide around her waist and that smile never disappears. Their foreheads touch as she lets out a giggle before attaching her lips against his, hitting me hard in the chest. Breaking me down, weakling me and completely destroying what was left.
I feel tears building up in my eyes , but I manage to blink them away before I feel a hand grip mine.
"There you are," Kyle's voice startles me before placing a soft kiss on my cheek.
"Kyle," I croak out.
"Hey beautiful, what happened?" He obviously notices my teary eyes.
"Nothing, the wedding is just emotional." I laugh off falsely, he doesn't buy it but decides to let it go, thank god.
"Do you want to dance?" He questions, holding me close. His hand moves to my back, guiding me through the crowd.
I turn back to Jackson and the girl making out before meeting Kyle's eyes "Yes.. please."
His grip in my hand tightens and as we reach the dancing area of the large garden, Kyle's arms move around me and I feel him pull me closer against him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I rest my head on his chest again closing my eyes and holding back the tears.
"Kyle?" I say softly, but loud enough for him to hear.
"Yes?" He looks down at me, with a concerned look on his face.
"Don't ever let me go, please."
"Never." He kisses my head as we dance to the music.
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.
.
"Phobe?" I hear an familiar voice from behind me. I turn around to see Jackson, trying to pull on a smile but failing miserably. I notice bags underneath his eyes, he must of not slept in days.
"You look horrible close up." I speak my mind, but look away quickly before I could meet his eyes.
"Phobe, I need to talk to you." He speaks up, moving closer towards me.
"Phobe?" Kyle appears next to me with two wine glasses in his hands. He eyes Jackson from head to toe before glancing at me. "Is there a problem here?".
"No, Kyle.. This is Jackson. Jackson, Kyle. " I introduce the two, feeling at my weakest point already. Kyle's arm wraps around me, pulling me closer towards him.
Jackson keeps his eyes on me as I speak, eyeing my movement. "I need to speak to her," He says, ignoring Kyle's actions.
Kyle's gaze moves to me, I feel him uncomfortably shift but I give him a small nod and he moves away. "Sure. I'll see you soon," He mutters before kissing my lips and walking away.
"What do you want from me?" I cross my arms over my chest, meeting his dark eyes again.
"To talk. Somewhere private." He looks around the crowded garden. "Perhaps the parking lot?" I notice his eyes show an quite unfamiliar emotion but it's hard to tell what it is.
"Fine.." I speak softly, trying to collect myself before I follow him through the crowd, walking besides him into the reception and out onto the parking lot where it's dark apart from the street lights spread out around the car park.
I could feel his arm brush against my skin, electricity runs through my body as it does. I miss it, I miss touching him without feeling embarrassed to do so. I missed the kisses, the laughs everything. I missed it all.. I finally admitted it to myself after all this time.
"Phobe.. " He turns to me, looking deeply into my eyes. Placing a hand against my cheek softly. I press my face against his hand for a moment, my heart beating faster against my chest at his touch. I meet his dark glassy eyes, unable to look away no matter how hard I try.
"Why are you here?" I whisper, wanting to hear the truth since we all know Jackson won't show up to weddings even if it was for someone close.
"I knew you were here." His fingertips brush against my palm before intertwining our hands with his other hand, but I flinch away.
"You knew I was at graduation, where I was living. What college I had transferred to, obviously you knew where I was basically everyday yet you still didn't come back at all. You just left, Jackson."
"I left because I loved you, because I knew you were going to find out everything I hadn't told you.. I couldn't see you like that..Knowing it's all my fault." I shake my head slightly, the tears in my eyes roll down my cheeks slowly at his words.
"I trusted you! I loved you so much Jackson, yet you told me nothing and lied to my face as if I was another random girl."
"Because I was trying to protect you!" He shouts, anger filling up in his eyes. I noticed him tense once the words left my mouth before he had spoken.
"Protect me from what?" I ask him, shouting back. My arms loosely hanging by my sides. Anger takes over the sadness inside of me, letting me speak my mind, scream and shout along with the tears of sadness and mixed emotions running down my cold wet cheeks.
"Me. To protect you from who I really am." He whispers, muttering slightly. I could see him calming down slowly before turning around, running his hands through his perfectly gelled hair.
"But that's the guy I fell in love with, Jackson." I mumble, stepping closer towards him without thinking. His still tense but I don't bother to keep my distance as I place a hand on his chest feeling his heart beating against it.
"The guy who spoke to me. Who told me the truth.. The guy who I thought I could share forever with."
"I've gotten worse," He looks down at me, shaking his head. "Phobe I'm sorry for the shit I've done to you. Everything, I'm sorry for everything.." He begins. "Forever is a strong word, but if it's for you. I'll try, we'll try, right together?".
"Jackson.. I-"
"Would you take it back? Start it over if we could. Everything that happened? Everything I've done.. Everything that's lead you to tears....".
"No, I would never."
"Why?" He raises an eyebrow, his hot breath hits against my skin as he speaks. The tone in his voice is softer compared to his loud vacuous tone.
I don't remove my eyes from his, his face is only inches from mine. My heart rapidly banging against my chest as I keep silent for a few minutes until finally speaking up, "Because then we would never be in this position. We never would of fell in love.." If it was love.
"It was love," He reads my mind.
"Phobe, and it still is."
"I got you something," Jackson mutters, looking deeply into my eyes.
"I don't have time for this. I should probably get back to the wedding." I stated but I have plenty of time, I would give my whole lifetime to him, even just to stand in front of him and watch him everyday.
He pulled out something from his back pocket. "Of course you have time." He whispered softly, chuckling slightly.
"Open your palm," his fingertips touched my hand and a sting of electricity just ran down my spine because of it.
I do what he says, and suddenly he moves closer towards me. The peppermint scent of his fills my lungs like it always has when he was inches away, his hot breath hits against my lips as he speaks slower and calmly, "Close your eyes."
And again I obey him.
"This is pathetic," I say before catching up with my words.
"I surely hope not." He chuckles as something is placed in the centre of my palm.
"You can open your eyes."
I reopen them, seeing the small heart necklace placed on my palm. He had fixed it perfectly, making it look like new again exactly when he first given it to me. But this time the heart shape was slightly bigger.
"Jackson I-" I begin but he quickly speaks again, "Turn it over," He smiles.
I turn over the heart shaped necklace, noticing the words written on the back of the heart.
"I love you," I read out.
"I love you too." He says and a
I smile wide, the only real smile I actually had on in two years.
His hands cup my face before I could speak and suddenly his lips are crashed against mine. I could taste his peppermint breath against my tongue, his warmth pressed against my body as his arms wrap around me holding me tight along with my arms tightly wrapped around his neck as he kisses me passionately in the moonlight.
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~A couple years later ~
"Where are we going?" I ask, gripping tightly onto Jackson's hand as he leads me out of the vehicle with an blindfold covering my eyes.
"It's an surprise," He smoothly says before placing a kiss nearby my earlobe and placing his arm around my waist, leading me somewhere as nerves start to build in my stomach.
"You know I'm not patient," I chuckle, listening to the sound of cars driving past along with voices of people speaking in their beautiful French language.
He had decided on taking me for a small vacation to his family's lakeside holiday home in Paris, where it's so beautiful and everything about it is just so lovely. It's almost like an dream, I can't imagine anything anymore perfect than all of this.
I didn't imagine sharing this far of my life with an boy I had absolutely no intentions to what so ever when we first met. I saw him as this rude, irresponsible jerk who only cared about no one else but himself. When I finally got to know him it was different as if I was with someone else but it was rely him. The better I knew him, the more love for him grew inside of me and I couldn't get enough. I finally realised how much I had fallen in love with him and never felt happier.
His my opposite attraction, no matter what people may say about us being together as long as we're happy and adore each other's company.
I remember how hard it was to tell Kyle about it though. It was official, I was madly in love with Jackson and I couldn't do anything about it but Kyle took it well but we haven't really kept in contact.. He was an great guy, I know one day he'll find the right girl. He deserves someone who could tell him that they live him back, without overthinking it.
.
.
"We're here." He informs me. I quickly pull off the material off my eyes, facing the view of Paris from on top of the Eiffel Tower. The lights coming from the city twinkle like the stars in the dark sky. Everything is so beautiful from up here, its breath taking and just unbelievable how incredible this view is. The Eiffel Tower shines below me, beautifully adding that extra something to this magnificent place.
"Jackson.." I smile wide, gripping tightly onto my arm and giving it a small pinch to see if it really is real.
"This is so beautiful," I glance over at the villages, full of lights and small festivals going on.
Jackson's warm arms wrap around me as he nuzzles into my neck before kissing my lips. "Not as beautiful as you though," He grins, just as I intertwine both our hands and face him, smiling bright and leaning my forehead against his.
"You're incredible." I smile against his lips before kissing him, passionately.
"I need to ask you something," His smile stays on his face, removing his hands away from mine and taking a small step back.
"What is it?" I laugh, raising my eyebrows with a pathetic grin on my face.
"Phobe Anne Williston, " Pulling out a small velvet suede box from inside his pocket as he nervously bites onto his lip. I cup my mouth with my hand my eyes already wet and glassy as I look down at him, kneeling on one knee.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, now and forever..Will you do the honour of marrying me Phobe?" He asks and I instantly throw my arms around him, shaking my head in astonishment whilst tears run along my cheeks.
THE END.
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