Month 5
Cal and I were sitting on the tour bus as we didn't have anything important to do today so we thought that we would just relax, we then heard a knock on the door I looked at Cal and smiled sweetly at him he then sighed heavily and got up to answer the door for me, when I looked up I had the biggest shock of my life when I saw Georgie, Poppie and Kara standing in front of me, we all screamed and we ran up to each other and hugged each other in a big group tightly.
"What are you all doing here?" I asked them
"What you didn't think we would miss our best friends world tour did you?" Kara said with a smile.
"Did you know about this?" I turned to face Cal
"I may have." He said with smile, I smiled brightly and hugged him tightly
"Thanks Cal."
"I just thought that you needed something to cheer you up, you know just in case he can't come and see you I thought I would ask the girls to come instead." He explained
"Why can't Simon come?" Poppie asked
"He had a bit of a melt down because he didn't think that he was good enough for me but I think it's all sorted now so hopefully he'll come at some point." I smiled at her, all the girls exchanged unimpressed looks with each other and Cal and I were confused as to why they were doing this.
"What?" I asked
"Well Simon has been hanging around with Alex for the past five months and he hasn't been looking very good." Kara told me
"Yeah he hardly speaks to the boys anymore." Poppie said
"Well that's weird, is he still making his videos?" I asked them
"Yeah just not as regular as he used to and there well different." Kara said
"Different how?" I asked sounding a little concerned
"Well he just doesn't seem himself, it all started two days after you left and we all thought that it as because he was missing you so we just let him get on when it but then two months went past and he was still the same. Come to think of it he's been acting weird since Alex showed up on the day you were leaving none of us payed attention to it we all just thought it was strange that they were hanging out constantly." Georgie stated
"Yeah have you seen his Instagram and Snapchat recently?" Poppie asked
"No I haven't really had the time to." The girls all shared looks then Kara got out her phone and showed me his Snapchat his story was full of pictures and videos of him and Alex together, she then showed me his Instagram and it was the same as Snapchat but one photo stuck out to me it was them holding hands on the beach and I got an immediate pain in my stomach and I felt so jealous and betrayed, it had over eight hundred thousand likes and five hundred comments and a lot of them comments were upset fans asking about our relationship and what has happened between us both.
"Cal did you know about any of this?" I asked him
"I had seen pictures yes." He said
"So for the past three months you knew that Simon and Alex were like this together and you didn't think to tell me that my boyfriend was acting like this with the girl he cheated on me with!" I snapped at him
"I-I didn't want to upset you Lillie you have been having the time of your life while on this tour and I didn't want to ruin that for you." He explained
"Well now it's been ruined because now I can't trust any of you because no one thought to tell me about the both of them." I snapped, I then stood up and stormed over to the tour bus door.
"Where are you going? You have a show in four hours." Cal said
"To get some space like you'd care!" I opened the door and slammed it shut behind me.
I walked down the street to get away from everyone, I then got out my phone to call JJ because seeing as he knew Simon the best surely he would know what exactly has been going on with him.
"Oh hey Lillie how's the tour going?" He asked
"Good, Um JJ has Simon and Alex been spending a lot of time together recently?" I asked with butterflies in my stomach
"So the girls told you, *sigh* we've been warning him and we told him to speak to you but-"
"Wait you knew! God everyone seemed to know apart from me and I'm his fucking girlfriend. Thanks for you know being my friend JJ and telling me about it all(?!)" I snapped sarcastically to him down the phone
"Don't be sarcastic with me I'm not the one who doing all this!"
"Yeah but you're meant to be my friend and tell me this not keep it from me."
"No that's Simon job." He said
"What do you mean?" I asked him
"Well maybe there's a reason why he doesn't want you to know."
"You don't think he's- you know."
"I really don't know Lillie but since it happened last time I wouldn't put it past him." JJ said sympathetically " look just talk to him about him and I'm sure he'll tell you the truth." JJ said again.
"Yeah I will, just later." I sighed, I then ended the call and put mb phone back into my pocket I then walked into a little cafe and sat in there contemplating my whole and if my relationship was built on lies or not.
(*Time Skip*)
I had been gone for three hours and I was getting calls from Poppie, Cal, Georgie, Kara and Sam all asking where I was and telling me to come back to the tour bus to get ready for my show. I stopped walking around New Zealand so I took a slow walk back to the tour bus when I decided that I would call Simon because I needed to know what was going on right now. When I called him it did ring like eight times but finally it stopped and someone picked up and it sure wasn't Simon.
"Hello? Lillie?" Alex asked, I quickly hung up the phone and took a deep breath in as I was shocked and hurt, why was she at the Sidemen house at eleven thirty at night. I rang the number with shaken hands but this time Simon did answer the phone.
"Lillie what's wrong shouldn't you be getting ready?" He asked
"I ran away." I said slowly
"Why?" He asked me
"Because this is more important. Simon would you ever lie to me?" I asked
"No never why would you ask that?"
"Right okay, why the fuck have I had the girls tell me that you have been hanging around with Alex quite a lot? And why is there a picture of you and her holding hands on the beach because normally Simon of you have a girlfriend then you wouldn't do that!"
"It's not what you think it is I promise."
"I've heard all this before, I heard this on Christmas Day and I heard the day I left for my tour. You know you were the one who wanted to make this work and I gave you a chance and I haven't regretted a single moment of it until now." I snapped at him
"Look Lillie, I love you and you know that-" while he was talking I could hear laughing in the background and I knew that was Alex
"Have you got me on loudspeaker?"
"N-no course not Alex and I are in my room watching Netflix together."
"*scoff*" I scoffed in disbelief
"O-okay I know how that sounds but I promise you it's nothing more than Netflix." He said quickly
"You have fun Simon just do what you want cheat on me for all I care again because I just haven't got the energy to do this anymore; I'm feeling constantly on edge that you are going to do the same thing again so I'm alway looking over my shoulder and I never want to leave your side because I just don't trust you and these five past months have been absolute hell for me because I'm on constant edge that one of the boys is going to call and tell me that you have done it again." I sob down the phone to him.
"Lillie, I love you and it hurts that you don't trust me think how I'm feeling when you told me that Cal kissed you and then you invited him on the tour I've been scared that you are going to cheat on me with him." He said sadly
"You actually think so little of me to think that I would actually cheat on you?" I was shocked and hurt
"You think little of me for cheating!"
"Because you've already done it once Si! Maybe us being together just isn't going to work and this is hard for me harder than anything else because I wanted to start a family with you and marry you but I just don't trust you and I'm sorry Simon but that's the truth."
"Next month, I'll come and see you and we can work this out and talk about everything and if we can at least try and work this out instead of giving up straight away because I'm not making that mistake with you again." He says in between sobs,
"Okay next month. Goodbye Simon."
"I love you Lillie so much." He sobs
"I don't think you understand the meaning of those first three words Si, because I'm pretty sure you have said them to Alex before, and you can't just put those words out there like they mean nothing because those words have meaning to them. I have never ever told a person I loved them when I didn't so when I actually you that I love you Simon I mean it because unlike you I don't just throw those words out into the air like they have no meaning."
"I know." That was all he said
"I've got to go, I need to get back but if you're serious about sorting this out then promise me you'll come next month otherwise if you don't I don't even think we could be friends."
"I promise that I'll be there next month." I hung up the phone just as I was coming up to the arena, Cal saw me and walked up to me but I ignored him and just walked into my dressing room where all the girls were waiting.
"Lillie we are so sorry that we didn't tell you we genuinely thought that you already knew." Kara said to me
"Don't worry we're going to talk next month when he comes and sees me." I fake smiled at them but they didn't care they hugged me tightly and helped me get ready for the show.
(*Time Skip*)
'The club isn't the best place to find a lover
So the bar is where I go
Me and my friends at the table doing shots
Drinking fast and then we talk slow
And you come over and start up a conversation with just me
And trust me I'll give it a chance now
Take my hand, stop, put Van the Man on the jukebox
And then we start to dance, and now I'm singing like
Girl, you know I want your love
Your love was handmade for somebody like me
Come on now, follow my lead
I may be crazy, don't mind me
Say, boy, let's not talk too much
Grab on my waist and put that body on me
Come on now, follow my lead
Come, come on now, follow my lead
I'm in love with the shape of you
We push and pull like a magnet do
Although my heart is falling too
I'm in love with your body
And last night you were in my room
And now my bedsheets smell like you
Every day discovering something brand new
I'm in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I'm in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I'm in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I'm in love with your body
Every day discovering something brand new
I'm in love with the shape of you
Check it
I've gotta tell you, I'm in love with your shape
You said them other bruddas couldn't really juggle your weight
And you were shy in the beginning, used to cover your face
You got that sweet, sweet loving, I'm a sucker for cake
I know, girl, you got a body they would kill for
Love you through whatever, who you tryna skip a meal for?
Girl, you're too precious, why you tryna split the bill for?
I ain't even gassing, they should have you up on billboards, that's real talk
And you can go to work and let me pick up the slack
And when you've finished what you're doing, we'll be kicking it back
We can listen to my tunes until you're sick of my raps
And I've got money in the bank, but not a figure like that
You got me looking at your shape, man, I've already won
Tryna come and kill the game like my brother Teddy done
I ain't even tryna play it cool 'cuh this is bigger than my pride
Let me multiply your lovin', then I hit you with Divide, check it
I'm in love with the shape of you
We push and pull like a magnet do
Although my heart is falling too
I'm in love with your body
And last night you were in my room
And now my bedsheets smell like you
Every day discovering something brand new
I'm in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I'm in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I'm in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I'm in love with your body
Every day discovering something brand new
I'm in love with the shape of you
Come on, be my baby, come on
Pour up your liquor, there's not a flaw in your figure, I'm so impressed
Come on, be my baby, come on
Baby, you can call me, it's quicker, I won't be talking on Twitter, girl, that is dead
Come on, be my baby, come on
Girl, stop curbing the question, I'll turn your curse to a blessing, that's overnight
Come on, be my baby, come on
Weigh up your options and spend a day with The Problem, I'll do you right
I'm in love with the shape of you
We push and pull like a magnet do
Although my heart is falling too
I'm in love with your body
Last night you were in my room
And now my bedsheets smell like you
Every day discovering something brand new
I'm in love with your body
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
I'm in love with your body
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
I'm in love with your body
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
I'm in love with your body
Every day discovering something brand new
I'm in love with the shape of you'
After I finished all of my songs I decided to talk to me fans and one question was asked which felt so real and actually really hurt me.
"What's happening with you and Simon?" A fan asked, I took a deep breath in and held up my microphone
"You want the truth? I just don't know." I said, I then walked off stage as it was the end of the concert and I went straight into the tour bus with everyone else and I sat at the back of the bus in my pyjamas wrapped up in a blanket as I cried my eyes out, Cal then came over and sat down next to me.
"Lillie I'm so sorry about what I did." He said with so much remorse
"It's okay." I said to him as I leaned my head on his shoulder, he hugged me and kissed the top of my head he put his arms around my waist and I gently drifted off to sleep.