"Don't see yet." Luca laughed as I tried to slightly peek through my left eye. I immediately shut it closed.
"Really, Luc?The famous blindfolded surprise shit?" I whined, playfully and stomped my foot.
"Hey , technically, I don't have you blindfolded." He stated innocently but my mind travelled to the dirtiest alleys. Being tied up by the bed, a blindfold not allowing me to see Luca resting in between my legs and eating my pússy like it was his last damn meal.
Instinctively, I crossed my legs.
"Don't see!" Luca instructed me again and I scowled.
"Okay! I'm not!"
He pulled my hand to what sounded like a door and then I felt cool breeze hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt chilled to the bone because I was only wearing a thin tank top and a pair of yoga pants.
I guess this is the terrace. Woah, no shit.
It took us a five minute elevator ride and one minute of walking to reach here. Even though, I felt depressed, sad, frustrated and just angry, I just needed somebody's company. Preferably a certain Italian's.
"Come on." Luca whispered and pulled me along. When he told me to shut my eyes, I did so obediently. I didn't want to ruin the surprise.
Suddenly, I felt his presence beside me. His body instantly radiating warmth. His large hand wound into mine and he rubbed his thumb over the back of it. My insides turned into mush instantly.
"Open." He whispered into my ear.
I slowly opened my eyes and gasped at the view.
My mouth parted as I took in everything New York had to offer. Against the black of the night sky, the skyscrapers stood tall and proud. The buildings and towers illuminated with different shades of light. White, yellow, pale, light blue , it was all there. I had never seen anything like this in my life. Down below, the lights of the streets shone brightly. The cool night breeze didn't seem to bother anymore as I took in the immense beauty of what lay before me.
"Beautiful, no?" Luca said lowly. I clasped his hand tighter and let out a breathy laugh.
"It's beautiful, yes." I answered, turning head sideways to look at him. He smiled back and I noticed a slight dent on his right cheek. And he gets dimples? Come on!
I looked at the low wall which almost reached our waists. There was absolutely nothing to stop us if we missed a step and fell to our deaths. But, that just added to my excitement.
"Let's climb the wall." I nonchalantly suggested, peeking at the depth below. Probably a 100ft.
"Are you crazy? No." Luca said pulling at my hand as I was already halfway through climbing the wall.
"Come on, Marino. Please? For me?" I looked down at him and smiled.
At that, he climbed over the low wall and sat comfortably beside me. Okay , maybe not comfortably. Death was one foolish move away.
"If I die..."he trailed off, staring at the vast sea of vehicles and buildings below.
"You won't." I said, scooting closer to him. He stiffened a bit but let me be.
Silence filled the air as we both looked around. I internally laughed at a couple having a huge fight in the next building. The window was floor length so I easily saw the way she threw a huge book at her husband or boyfriend whatever. He cleanly dodged it. I smiled but it suddenly faded when I remembered Diane and dad fighting when I was just two. Their flights were much worse. Dad would gently push into a room and shut the door. The room had a bed so I tried to get a blink but couldn't
Not with all the screaming , shouting, swearing, crashing, etc going on outside.
Before I knew it, a single tear dropped onto my cheek.
Dad....
"I miss dad." I whispered on impulse. Luca continued looking straight ahead and I knew I had his attention.
"He was the best man in the whole world. He never scolded me. He told me how happy he was when I was born. He told me how thankful he was to Diane for giving him a tiny bundle of joy." Tears now streamed down my cheeks as I leaned onto Luca's shoulder. He didn't react. He didn't stiffen. He just stayed that way, listening to me.
"I loved him, so so so much. Mom never was happy with me. In front of an audience, I was 'darling', 'sweety', 'honey'. But when we were home, together, just us, she hardly ever spared me a second glance. She was unhappy with the marriage. But why would she be? She had a husband who loved her, a daughter, a loving mom in law but no, she wanted something. But at that time I didn't realize what she exactly craved."
A sudden cold wind blew, making my cheeks sting with the cold of my tears.
" I was a backward child, Luc." I admitted, staring straight ahead at the ocean of lights. " I don't know how it happened. I started walking when i was three, talking when i was five. All the kids made fun of me and that just discouraged me to utter a word."
"Dad worked so hard for us. He would work day and night. Even so, he always had time for me. He taught me to drive the bike, he taught me to walk , he taught me the alphabet. Mom never cared. She did'nt have time for dad, too. Okay, she had plenty of time but she chose to ignore us."
I took a deep breath, continuing as I had no filter. "They fought so much. It was horrible , Luc." A sob racked through me. Luc scooted impossibly closer and put a strong arm around my lower back.
"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to." He said, staring ahead.
"No. I want to. I haven't talked about any of this to anyone in my life. It's all bottled up inside me and I just need to get it out."
He nodded.
Silence filled the air.
Soon, I spoke, "Whenever they would have a fight, dad would push me into a room. There was a bed in the room and I would try to sleep, try to pretend as if this was normal for every family, try to prepare myself for all the noise that would haunt me for the whole night. The banging of plates, my mom screaming at dad , he trying to sooth her down........"
"Suddenly, one day, my mother's sister, aunt Danielle came home to pick me up. I had no idea where we were going. I had no idea where we were when we arrived at a huge building, busy and crowded. I had no ideas where we were even after I saw an old man sitting on a high chair, my dad standing on one side of the room and my mother on the other."
"But, all i knew was .....Things were not going good. I couldn't understand much. But, I knew that they were going to end. It was all going to be over."
"She accused him of domestic abuse." A teary laugh escaped my lips.
"She told the judge that he would hit her and me too. Dad lost the case and accepted the divorce. My mom had to take up my custody. I guess, that didn't please her."
"That was the last day I saw my dad. That was the last day I saw his wrinkly face and his kind green-blue eyes." I wiped at my moist cheeks.
"That was the last day I talked to someone who actually cared for me and loved me."
Suddenly, the memories of that day in court flooded my mind and I whimpered as I remembered my mom dragging me out of the court whilst the guard restrained my dad. I remembered my tears, I remembered dad begging the guards to leave him, I remembered him freeing himself from the guards and running toward me. I remembered the hug he gave me and all those promises he made to meet me again. Promises he didn't keep.
I looked up, at the sky full of stars. My dad could be one of them.....
"I look at the stars every night, just wishing he was there ..... Somewhere and he could see the same ones."
"I look at the stars too." Luca whispered, looking up as well. I hid my surprise and kept quiet, allowing him to continue.
"I try to find a face in them. And every night I wish they were here with me. I wish that I stead of being just another shiney dot against the black sheet, they were actually here with me. Shining to brighten up my world but no.........She is gone." His tone sounded broken. Like, he wanted someone just to hug him and comfort him. To tend to some pretty nasty wounds left on his heart.
It was obvious. Luca had lost someone. His mother, his sister, an ex girlfriend, a grandma or an aunt. Again, that unwanted wave of question flooded into my mind. I needed so many answers. But, Luca had lost someone. They were dead. And to me, that was a touchy topic so I left it hanging. But I had lost someone too. But there was a possibility of my dad being alive so I didn't know-
My train of thought was interrupted as Luca's head turned to me. His eyes were glassy behind his glasses. He was so , so close. His golden gaze fluttered to my lips and stayed there. That small action had me turning into a mess already.
He leaned in. He looked up into my green orbs as if asking for permission. I moved my head closer. His breath intermingled with mine. Just as we were going to kiss , I pulled back.
We were both vulnerable right now. A kiss in such a situation would be sweet and slow as if trying to repair the scars on each other's souls. And I didn't want that. I didn't want our kiss to mean anything. I didn't want to lead him on. I was afraid of love. The mere idea of it was enough for me to go 'yeh nah'. And Luca deserved better. He deserved a queen, a princess. I was ....Probably the commander in chief of his army.
Luca quickly snapped his gaze straight ahead again.
"Sorry." He mumbled, making me feel bad.
"No, it's not you. It's me." I laughed lightly, uncomfortablely.
"No. It's me. I don't know what in the world I was-"
"No, no. I understand. It was a spur in the moment kinda thing." I shrugged, faking nonchalance.
The next ten minutes which were silent and awkward. I was trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I just told almost my entire life history to a guy I met 2 days ago. But, somehow, I trusted Luca. He too had opened up. Maybe not as much as i had.
"Huh, it's freezing." I lied , rubbing my hands on my arms to emphasize my point.
"Okay. Let's go." He agreed and turned his to get off and I followed.
As we were exiting the terrace, I called, "Hey Luca?"
He faced me.
"Thank you for listening." I smiled and to my relief , he returned the gesture.
"You too." He said, making my smile widen.
He turned to walk but I called again "Luc!"
He turned to me again.
I smirked.
"I get to choose when our kiss happens."
.............and the blush was back.