I knocked on the Goodman's door. Mum and I came tonight because her and Aunty Jackie needed to gang up on Uncle Martin. Apparently they had a fight about Kate Middleton popping up in his dream. Adam opened the door.
"Hi Aunty Val, hey Pest"
"Alright Pusface"
"Hi Adam. Where's Mum?" Mum greeted warmly.
"In her bedroom"
"And your father" Mum changed her tone from warm to cold just like that.
"In the shed" Adam shut the door.
"Good" Mum muttered before walking upstairs.
"Do you know what's going on with your parents?" I asked. Adam shrugged.
"Something personal again" he replied apathetically.
"Something sexual again" I commented. He groaned.
"Ugh. It's worse hearing it from you than it is Dad" he complained.
"Hey Pissface!" I saw Jonny in the kitchen.
"Alright Pest" he was cooking, facing away.
"You're going to love this" Adam whispered to me.
"Why are you cooking?" I walked over to the stove. It was soup.
"I..happen to enjoy cooking" he still hadn't looked at me.
"Bullshit" I laughed.
"Jonny, show us that lovely face if yours" Adam teased. What's going on?
"Piss off Pusface" Jonny glared at him, I noticed his hair was longer and covering his eyes. I reached to see what he was hiding but he swatted me away. I reached again and he swatted me away.
"What the hell is going on?" I was getting irritable.
"Nothing, I just don't like fingers in my face" Jonny still wouldn't look at me.
"Battle stations" I told Adam. That was our code for attack the other person. Adam, although short and stocky, is very versatile. I jumped onto Jonny and Adam piled on me to make Jonny fall.
"Ugh, get off!" I pinned one arm while straddling Jonny and making sure he couldn't move while Adam got up and pinned the other arm. "You guys are crazy! Mum!" Jonny yelled. His arms were above his head, Adam was kneeling on them. I brushed Jonny's hair out of his face and oh my goodness.
"Holy shit what have you done?" I was shocked to see what had happened to his eyebrows. One was missing and the other was a bunch of dots. After the shock settled I started laughing. He got free and pushed Adam and I away.
"Shut up! I fell asleep at a mates party last night" he frowned.
"Pissface. This is the greatest fashion statement I've ever seen" I stopped laughing and began to take deep breaths.
"It'll grow back...right?" He asked. I shrugged.
"It might not grow back in the same direction" I was serious even though my fave was red from laughter.
"Shitting hell" he complained and rearranged his hair.
"Have your parents seen it?" I asked.
"They're too busy with their stupid fight to notice" Jonny replied, "what is it about anyway?" He asked.
"Why do you guys always ask me about your family's problems?" I questioned. Jonny shrugged.
"You somehow know everything" Adam answered.
"Oh. Thank you. You guys remember the Lady Di dream?"
"Oh god. Not another dream is it?" Adam asked. I nodded.
"With Kate Middleton in a hummus hot tub," the boys groaned, "he sexed it up a bit"
"With what part? The hummus?" Jonny laughed.
"There's a nut joke in their somewhere" I lazily said.
"Dinners going to be so awkward. We can't go to that pub again" Jonny told us.
"Oh I like Laurence the bartender. He's sweet" I said. They gave me judgey eyes, I rolled mine, "he gives me free chips once in a while"
"There it is" Jonny said.
"Why do you get free chips?" Adam was confused. I shrugged.
"I'm pretty" I replied. Adam scoffed.
"Yeah right" he said.
"Wow. Rude," I wasn't that offended, we always take the piss, "he probably likes me because I'm not a dickhead that orders half a pint with an extra glass" I teased.
"So how's things with Bradley?" Adam changed subject. Oh. Right.
"Uh. We decided to part ways" Jonny dropped his spoon in the floor.
"What?" The boys said unison.
"Why?" Jonny asked. He stepped closer to me and I tried not to laugh at his eye brows.
"We just decided that things-I'm sorry can you turn around?" I asked Jonny, he rolled his eyes,"we weren't working out that's all. It's no biggie"
"Sorry about that Viv" Adam shared his condolences.
"I'm fine. You guys don't need to make me feel better" the truth is that I broke up with Bradley because I realised I don't actually feel much for him and my feelings for Jonny might you know...exist.
Ever since Jonny confessed his love for me via Drunk Jonny I've felt a little different, like maybe I do actually like my best friend. Except I can't tell him that can I? After he told me he liked me when we slept together he went and got with Liz, he can't possibly still like me. It's too late I just have to deal with being his friend. And that's fine.
"Alright, soup is done" Jonny said after quite a long pause between us kids. He took a deep breath, "DINNER!" He shrieked, I jumped and punched his arm.
"You absolute knob!" I hit him some more, he laughed. That seemed to lighten up everyone's mood.
*
Dinner was tense, just as the boys and I suspected. Mum and Aunty Jack kept looking at each other and sometimes death glared Uncle Martin.
"So," I started, everyone looked at me "uhm" I finished. I couldn't think of anything to talk about really, "I broke up with Bradley" I announced as if it was the weather. Aunty Jack looked shocked.
"What? Why? I thought things were going well" Aunty Jack spoke. I shrugged.
"What's happening?" Martin tuned in, Aunty Jack rolled her eyes.
"Viv and Bradley broke up" Adam told him.
"Boo Radley woke up?" He asked. Seriously?
"His hearing aid must be stuffing up, "I broke up with Bradley"
"Sorry, you broke up with him? I thought it was mutual" Jonny questioned.
"It was, it's just easier saying that I dumped him" for you.
"Why did you guys break up? If you don't mind me asking, love" Aunty Jack asked nicely and carefully.
"Things were fine. Just not-" I cut myself off, I'm really not finding my sentences tonight. The doorbell rang.
"I'll get it" Adam and Jonny got up and rushed to the door.
"It's probably Jim, he's been fundraising again and I said I'd sponsor but I've had no cash in the house and I'm certainly not giving him my credit card details" Aunty Jack and mum laughed. Oh good she's changed the conversation, saves me from having to talk about my feelings.
"What's he raising money for?" I asked.
"Probably dogs that limp I don't know" Jackie wavered the thought.
"Where are the boys?" Uncle Marty asked, I saw Mum and Aunty Jack roll their eyes again.
"They're at the door you bloody...shit" Aunty Jack took a gulp of her wine. Perhaps some gin and tonic soon? "Boys!"
"Coming!" They said in unison.
"Who was it?" Aunty Jack asked as they entered.
"It was Jim, I think this for you" Jonny gave me a letter, "it was in Jim's letterbox" I took and opened it but I don't live here?
"Holy shit" I whispered.
"Vivian!" Mum scolded me. I grinned.
"What is it?" Adam asked. I stood up and made my announced.
"Ladies and gentlemen please be prepared for the greatest news of your entire adult lives, besides Pusface getting married," I started.
"Excellent" Jonny commented, we fist bumped.
"I entered a competition a little while ago and it was supposed to be a surprise for you all, which it is obviously because I didn't tell any one of you," I carried on.
"Viv just tell us what's in the letter" Adam demanded. I turned the piece of paper around.
"We're all going to Spain for 10 days" I grinned. Mum and Aunty Jack dropped their cutlery, got up and started squealing.
"Holy shit" Jonny grabbed the piece of paper and looked at it with Adam.
"Jonny!" Aunty Jack scolded him, "oh darling that's wonderful news thank you so so so much" she kissed me on every 'so' and gave me a tight hug.
"What was the competition?" Uncle Martin asked after giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"A writing one. I just wrote a poem" I waved my hand like it was no big deal.
"It's attached to the back here. 'The Other' by Vivian Worthing" Adam spoke up, "shit title Viv" he commented.
"Thanks Pusface. It's more symbolic of you know, feelings. Do you experience feelings?" I asked sarcastically.
"Does this one experience feelings?" Uncle Marty laughs really hard. No one else did.
"Do you really think you expect us to believe that you wrote this?" Jonny was reading.
"Um, I majored in English, so yeah" I responded.
"Adam, get the champagne this is a cause for celebration" Aunty Jack squealed again and kissed my forehead.
When dinner finished we all gathered in the living room.
"To Vivian, congratulations sweetie and thank you so much for the opportunity to go on this holiday with you" Aunty Jack made a toast.
"Here, here!" Jonny and I clinked glasses, "let's have a read of the winning poem shall we?"
"Um no thanks-" I started.
"I feel as if when I say those words I don't mean them to you but some other. Another I yearn for at night, day and tomorrow. Don't fret, I tell myself that it's wrong, inappropriate and illicit. The One shan't adore me like I him so I must stay with the Other-"
"Can we stop please?" I was getting sort of emotional. I wrote it toward the end of my relationship with Bradley. I just had a pen in my hand and let loose. It made me realise that I didn't share his feelings and that I liked Jonny.
"Yeah Jonny, you're embarrassing the girl" Uncle Martin spoke up.
"Just tell us what it's about hun" Mum asked. I really didn't want to.
"I don't know" Martin replied. Aunty Jack rolled her eyes and gave a cross look to Martin.
"I wasn't talking to you Martin" she said rudely.
"I'm surprised you are," Martin commented, "its bloody Lady Di all over again" The boys and I stayed quiet, I really wanted to leave.
"If you love the Royal family so much why don't you just go marry them!" Aunty Jack got up and exited the room, so did Mum. It was silent for a moment.
"Pub?" I slapped my thigh and got up.
"Only if you can get free chips from Gym Junkie Voldemort" Adam commented on the bartenders appearance.
"I'll be sure to, you coming Pissface?" I asked. He was reading my poem some more, it was more like a sonnet. I clicked my fingers in front of him.
"What? Yeah" he grinned and rised.
*
"I'll go in first, you guys retreat to the back so he doesn't see you" I told the boys, I entered and made eye contact with the bartender "Hey Laurence. How are you doing?" I greeted the bartender. He wasn't as grumpy as everyone thought, they're just wankers to him.
"Ah hello Vivian. Doing well, doing well. What can I getcha?" See? His service was fine.
"2 pints of lager and a lemonade" I took off my jacket because it was too hot.
"Would you like some chips tonight love?" The baldman asked. I tilted my head in surprise.
"Yes I would thank you" I smiled brightly. I stayed at the bar until I got the drinks, then I returned for the chips, "alright pissheads" I set the chips down.
"I'm not really hungry actually" Adam told me, I grabbed the basket and ate then with Jonny. We were sitting in a booth with Adam opposite Jonny and I, "you two look too coupley, I'm going for a wee"
Adam left Jonny and I. The silence was uncomfortable and tension was palpable. All I could think about was planting a gigantic kiss on this praying mantis of a man. I slowly let out a breath.
"You alright?" Jonny asked. I nodded.
"Just got a sore tummy, I think" I lied.
"It might me gas" he responded. I smiled.
"Yeah, it could be" I then elbowed him and accidentally got closer in the booth. We both laughed at our old times together.
"Viv" he spoke.
"Yeah" I responded, but Jonny hesitated.
"Was that poe-"
"We have to go" Adam interrupted and grabbed the jackets on the table. He looked terrified.
"What? What happened?" I asked, confused and examining the wet boy in front of me.
"I'll explain later. Let's go before he-"
"Oi! You, come back 'ere!" Laurence chased Adam out the door, he must have hidden somewhere outside because Laurence stopped at the door. Jonny and I ended and skipped out.
"What the hell happened?" Jonny asked. We all hopped in the car.
"I didn't even do anything!" Adam sounded defensive.
"Then why are you covered in toilet water?" I teased. He stayed silent while Jonny and I had a chuckle.
"Are you quite finished?" Adam was pissed. I nodded.
"Oh come on Pusface just tell us what you did" Jonny spoke up.
"Okay. I accidentally, totally unintentionally...broke the urinal" he confessed. I held my breath and tried keeping a straight face, so did Jonny, "aren't you going to laugh at me?" Adam asked, defeated.
"Adam I'm driving. Can we just wait until I pull in to the driveway" I soon did that and turned around with Jonny. We were both in the front looking at him, I put my hand on his knee, "a lot of little girls get confused when using a urinal" I saw him roll his eyes. Jonny and I tipped out heads back laughing.
"I didn't sit on it or anything. All I did was flush and it just broke and squirted all this water on me"
"That's what he said ?" Jonny made a joke. I rolled my eyes that time. Adam exited the car, I was going to do the same until Jonny stopped me from unbuckling, "wait, can we go to the shop real quick? You don't have a lot of petrol and I need something" that sounded made up but he was right. I did need to fill up my tank.
"Alright," I rolled down the window and shouted to Adam, "Pusface! I'm getting some petrol"
As I was filling up, Jonny came out the car, "Okay, so. I obviously don't want to talk about this in front of Adam, because he's a prick, but..." he trailed and I'm assuming lost for words.
"What?" I asked, I'm getting nervous now.
Jonny gulped, "I just wanted to ask- I'm just asking because I'm curious doesn't even matter if you say no but, is your poem about Bradley and me?" He rushed.
"Um," I finished filling her up, " I just have to pay" I went inside and paid.
When came back I saw Jonny banging hid head on the window, "hey, don't" I stopped him.
We got in the car and began driving, I tend to speak better when I'm not making eye contact, it provides space for me to think.
"It is. The poem is about Bradley and you and how all of our time together as friends has made me realise... made me realise that I love you" I confessed. Jonny took a deep breath, "don't worry, I don't know if it's romantic or platonic yet. I'll stay away from you if it makes you uncomfortable"
"No! Viv. I still like you, I never stopped. The only reason I got with Liz again was because I think I wanted to make you jealous. But you were so happy with Bradley, I saw it. I can't believe you guys broke up" I saw him in my peripheral vision, my tears soon started to well up but I refrained. To hear him say that he likes me back was bittersweet, especially after saying I loved him.
We pulled up to his house and stayed there silent for a moment.
"Where do we stand?" Jonny asked, this is the most humiliating 10 minutes of my life. I gulped.
"I want to be with you" I blurted out, it felt good but I immediately regretted it because he didn't reply, "oh god. Never mind. I'll just go" I started up the car again.
"Vivian calm down" Jonny touched my shoulder.
"Gross" I commented on my name.
"I really like you and I want to be with you too," this made me smile, "but," the smile dropped, "we've known each other for ages and things haven't been the same ever since we slept together. I don't want to lose our friendship"
"I understand" I smiled, "could you go get mum for me? I'm sure she's feeling pretty fed up with all the fighting considering she's used to being the one who's always supported" my voice cracked at the end. Jonny nodded and opened the car door, he returned for a moment.
"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked. I turned and smiled at him.
"Yeah," I whispered. It's getting harder to contain my tears, "see you next time" I kissed his cheek. As he exited a tear rolled down my own. I quickly wiped it away while his back was turned, he looked back at me before opening the front door, I smiled again, he could tell it was a pained one.
I shuffled to the passenger side while mum was coming out and wept some more, "You alright, love?" She asked. I didn't want to burden her with my shit right now.
"Can we just wait until we get home?" I asked, she complied and started the car.