When I saw the screen on the test, I could feel tears well up in my eyes. The little plus sign seemed to be mocking. It was funny how I was on the verge of tears, but some women would be skiing from ear to ear if they found out they were pregnant.
“Midnight, are you ok in there?” Jeremy asked, pounding his fist on the door. I knew if I talked, I’d burst into tears, so I just threw open the door and shoved the test into his hands.
He looked down at the plastic stick and then back up at me. “What am I suppose to do?” I crooked out, letting the tears slide down my cheeks.
“Well, first you need to tell Ricky when you see him tomorrow. You should tell him in person and then you two should figure out what to do together,” Jeremy suggested. He then put his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. How come the first time I let someone in, it comes back to bite me in the ass?
“But how am I suppose to tour with you guys if I have a baby?” I asked with a sniffle. My life seemed to be slowly falling apart. Nothing was going my way and now I might have to give up music.
“We’ll figure it out, Midnight. You can always bring the baby with us,” Jeremy responded, ribbing my back. I couldn’t imagine bringing a baby on tour, but it might have to come to that. Ricky and I would have to talk about it.
I ended up crying for a good twenty minutes and Jeremy didn’t leave. That was why he was such a good friend. He was always there for me when I needed him. He might be a pain in the ass, but I needed him.
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The next morning, I woke up to the sound of Ricky’s voice. “Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered in my ear. I felt a smile curl onto my lips. I wished I could be woken up like this every morning.
“Good morning,” I replied, still smiling. In all my crying yesterday, I had almost forgotten that I would get to spend the day with Ricky. That also meant I had to tell him about the baby.
“Go get dressed so we can go do something,” he commended before laying a kiss on my lips. I of course did as I was told until I had to puke.
“Is she throwing up again?” I could Jeremy questioned on the other side of the bathroom door. Then, Ricky slowly opened the door and came in the small space. He kneeled down next to me and held my black hair back for me.
“Have you went to a doctor or something?” he questioned, grabbing a loose strand of hair. I was surprised Jeremy didn’t run over to give me the tell-him-now look.
All I could do was shake my head before I had the urge to throw up again. As much as I didn’t want this baby, I was glad all this puking would be done in nine months.
“I think you should go see someone. Throwing up like this can’t be healthy,” he told me. I was glad he cared and was worried about me, but I knew if I wanted to get him off my back I would have to confess.
“I know what’s wrong,” I murmured after a long pause. If I told him now, I could get it over with. It might ruin our day together, but he needed to know.
“You do?” he asked, seeming a bit surprised. I couldn’t help but think he’d be even more surprised once he found out the reason. I gave him a nod and wiped at my mouth. “What wrong then?” he questioned, his brow knitting in confusion.
“Ricky, I, uh, I’m… I’m… I’m pregnant,” I stammered, avoiding his eyes. He didn’t say anything for the longest time, which worried me.
“Are you sure?” he asked. His voice was filled withe sadness. All I could do was nod. I could tell that this wasn’t going to go well. A moment later, he stood up from the tile floor and walked out of the bathroom.
I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes as I heard the tour bus door slam shut, “Midnight, what happened?” Jeremy questioned, appearing in the doorway. As soon as he saw the tears pouring out of my eyes, his brown knit with worry and he knelt down on the floor. He wrapped me in a hug and let me cry into his chest.
“I…I t-told him…and…and he ran away,” I stammered. He took his thumb and wiped away some of my tears. After a few minutes, he stood up from the ground. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was going to yell at Ricky.
I brushed at the tears on my cheeks and slowly stood up. When I made it out the bus, I saw Jeremy talking to Ricky, well, yelling at him.
“How could you run away from her like that? She was so nervous about telling you because she thought you’d be mad and I thought you were better than that,” Jeremy shouted, getting seriously close to Ricky’s face. I don’t think I had ever seen my best friend so angry.
“What so you expect me to do? Do you expect me to be ecstatic about this? I don’t want a kid,” he yelled back. He pulled out his carton of cigarettes and a lighter. It was obviously he was feeling tense.
“I don’t care if you don’y want that kid or not, but its yours, so man up and you need to help her. If you walk away from her because she’s pregnant with your kid, you’d be the biggest asshole in the world. Midnight loves you and I thought you loved her, but-“
“I do love her, Jeremy. I just need some time to take this all in,” Ricky cut Jeremy off loudly. He then stormed of with his cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
Jeremy then spun around angrily. He was about to run on the bus, but stopped when he saw me. “He’s being an asshole. You need him right now and he’s only worried about himself,” he muttered. I think he was more upset about this whole thing than I was.
“Jeremy, I know he’s being ridiculous, but it’s a lot to take in. I mean, I cried for twenty minutes. I guess this is just his way of dealing with it,” I replied with a shrug. I knew I shouldn’t be defending, but, well, I think it was one of those things that took some time to get used to.
“How can you say that? If I found out my girlfriend was pregnant, I wouldn’t be running away from her,” Jeremy argued. I really wished he’d just calm down.
“Ok, you’re right, but there’s nothing we can do about his reaction,” I admitted with a sigh. To be honest, I just wanted to talking about this baby with Ricky right now, but I couldn’t do anything about that.
*******************************************************************************
A few hours later, there was a knock on the bus. I had no desire to get up so I let Blake answer it. “Midnight, it’s Ricky,” Blake announced before letting Ricky in. When Ricky saw me sitting in the front lounge, he gave me an obviously forced smile and say down next to me.
“I’m sorry I walked out this morning,” he apologized, taking my hand in his. “I just needed time to take it in, but now I realize I need to be there for you and that I shouldn’t have ran away,” he added. As much as I wanted to yell at him, I knew for this baby’s sake I needed to just forgive him.
“It’s ok. Just don’t go running out on me again,” I replied with a smile. Now with this baby, it was more important that we stayed together. I needed him and so did our child.
“I promise, I won’t. You’re not getting me rid of that easily,” he responded. He gave me a quickly kiss on the forehead before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him.
“So, do you want it to be a boy or a girl?” he asked as I rested my head in his chest. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the question. One moment he was upset about the baby and the next he was acting excited about it.
“To be honest, I haven’t thought about it, but I guess I want it to be a girl,” I responded thoughtfully. Girls were always cuter. The clothes were much more adorable. “How about you?” I asked, glancing up at him.
“I think a girl just so she can be as badass as her mom,” he replied, making me grin. I could already imagine our little girl rocking out in a band.
“We should start thinking of name,” Ricky suggested. I was so happy that his attitude about this had changed so drastically. I thought he’d remain upset my whole pregnancy.
“I haven’t even went to the doctor’s yet,” I laughed, looking down at my still flat stomach. I seriously couldn’t imagine having a big stomach. I had always been relatively thin so the thought was foreign to me.
“When are you going?” he asked. I was half hoping he would want to go with me. I had always hated the doctor’s and him being there would help my nerves a bit.
“This tour’s done at the end of the month so I was going to try to make an appointment for then,” I replied I had tried to put off calling the doctor, but I knew I needed to eventually.
“We get done around then, too. Maybe I could go with you,” he suggested. I internally let out a sigh of relief. I was so glad he was on board with this now.