Media: Heaven – 3 Doors Down
∞
Coe's POV
I had my back plastered to the dirty brick wall behind me, my head pinned to the wall, trying to keep my distance from my brother as he stared me down with what I would think resembles pure hatred and disgust in his eyes. My eyes darted from side to side as I blinked rapidly, unable to hold my gaze on my brother's face. He intimidated me. He always has. Just looking at his face now brought back a flood of memories of how we were like as kids.
We had a good childhood, for a while. But as we grew up, we found that we were growing very dissimilar to one another. Amos was loud and he liked to be around others. He was always with a group of people, always the leader among them. He was always stood out and was popular with the girls. My parents were proud of his high school sports scholarship and they were always delighted to talk about him with friends and family. He was their prized son, I'm sure he still was. What was I thinking? He was their only son now.
I used to be cheery and charming too. My parents had once adored me and fawned over me like they did with my brother. But when I slowly started to develop strange feelings that I didn't understand towards my male friends, I began to distance myself from my friends in fear that they would find out how I felt about them, and in fear that they would make fun of me for it. It snowballed from there.
I started to keep to myself all the time, never hanging out with my friends unless I had to. I would avoid play sports, because I realised that I would spend a good amount of time having inappropriate thoughts about my fellow sportsmen, and sometimes I found my body responding to those thoughts. I started to become quiet around people because I didn't want to slip up and let anyone know how I felt about the same gender. I stopped looking at people in the face when I spoke because I was afraid that my gaze would wander and they would be weirded out by it.
By the time I had turned twelve; my parents didn't know what they could do with me. They tried everything from having a family intervention, teachers' lectures, counselling. But I didn't get 'better'. They slowly started to leave me out of family gatherings, knowing that I would only attend to dampen everyone's spirits. They never brought me along on outings, because I would not enjoy them. I felt like a stranger even when I was with family. I then started to realise how lonely I was, as though I didn't have a family at all.
It was then that I found Colin. A boy in my school that was just like me. We noticed one another's existence a long time ago, but we were both the same, and we kept to ourselves, wanting no trouble. But as I felt loneliness creeping up on me and consuming me, we started to talk to one another.
When we did, it was only within a short span of time that we realised just how similar we were. Like me, Colin was attracted to guys as well. Like me, he kept to himself because he didn't want trouble. He didn't want to stand out, he didn't want anyone to find out about his feelings. With every similarity we shared, we grew more connected to one another, licking our wounds together, confiding in one another when no one else would understand us. It wasn't a crazy thought that we decided to experiment with one another.
But the very first time that we decided that we would kiss to find out what it would feel like, Amos had caught us. We were in my room at that time, and it only took two seconds before my mother and father had burst into the room behind my brother, after he had yelled that I was a 'disgusting freak' that 'should die and rot in hell for being so abnormal'.
Colin was practically dragged out of my house on his shoulders with tears in his eyes, and I never saw him again. That day, I realised just how terrifying my brother could be. That day, I found that because I had kept to myself and never did sports, my brother had now grown a stark physical advantage over me, and I could do nothing to defend myself, except to cower and cry at his dominance.
We were only three years apart, but Amos had always been bigger than me, and in the time that I had stopped being like him, he grew much bigger than me. He completely overpowered me and he revelled in the power he had over me as he reminded me that I was an 'abomination 'and that 'God will never forgive me'. My parents didn't stop him. They left the house, claiming to need some space to think about what they should do with me. They returned later that night after I was barely conscious, to tell me that they didn't have a son like me. My brother took the chance to reiterate his point again, with his fists of course.
Twelve years later and nothing seemed to have changed. Amos was still taller and very well-built. I eyed his fists nervously, noticing that they were much larger than I remembered. If he could beat me to the inch of my life when we were only in our early teens, this time for sure, he could very well send me straight to my grave.
"Amos." I breathed out, shuddering as I remembered how his punches felt against my flesh. I didn't want a replay of that, "Don't do this, please." I pleaded, praying that Heath was already done with his payment, or that Jared was done with his phone call and they could both be looking for me by now. I just needed them to get to me before my brother beats me to a pulp in this filthy alley.
"Do what?" Amos sneered at me before he slammed his fist into my stomach. I wheezed, bending over when pain exploded through my stomach and radiated through every nerve in my body. I felt him pushing my forehead so hard backwards that the back of my head slammed painfully into the brick wall again, making stars appear in my vision as I swayed slightly, "Aren't you happy to see me, Coe? We haven't seen each other in a while, you know."
Not particularly. "Of- Of course." I would say anything to just let this pass faster. I didn't want to piss him off. God knows what he was capable of if he loses his temper.
My scalp burned as he grabbed my head by my hair and smashed his fists repeatedly into my stomach. I tried to block his blows, but as his fists hit my arms, I felt them erupt in pain, before numbness seemed to spread around them, rendering them useless. I tried unsuccessfully to push Amos away from me.
"I am so happy to see you too, Coe." He spat in between blows.
He released his grip on my hair and I fell to my knees, my hands shot out to prevent my face from hitting the ground, but they barely managed to keep my body up. I groaned, holding on hand to my stomach.
"I see you still haven't changed. Still daring to run around and show your face with a fucking man in public." Amos raised his knee and crashed it right into my face.
I let out a shout, holding my face as tears and blood burst from my eyes and nose. My entire head was throbbing and I managed a whine before I felt my body fall to the side on the ground. Amos kicked me again in my gut and I groaned, unable to get up again. My entire body was throbbing in pain and I could feel the bruises that had already started to form.
I saw something shift from the corner of my eye and I braced myself, but the blow never came.
"Coe!" Heath yelled, skidding into the alley like my own superhero. I decided there and then that if Heath wanted to have Jared, I might really let him have my best friend for breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper because he was a God-sent.
I thank God that Heath came when he did, because I was starting to feel dizzy from the kick that Amos sent to my head. I might have a concussion because I could feel the food from dinner rising to my throat. But I could be wrong. It might not be a concussion, but the many blows to my stomach that made me want to hurl. Whichever the case was, it didn't matter, I just needed it to stop.
It was too early to celebrate Heath's wondrous hero entrance though. I startled when I saw my brother reach into his pant pocket and pulled out a folding knife that he swiftly slid open to reveal the sharp edge. I held my breath as I saw Heath still where he was. Amos had his knife pointed towards me as he took a step back from Heath.
"Is this your boyfriend, Coe? Is this the man that fucks you in the ass? You like that?" He mocked and brandishing his knife in my direction when Heath took a step towards me. I whimpered, keeping my head down so that he wouldn't accidentally swipe a chunk of flesh off my face. I let out a sob, wishing I could disappear into the ground. I didn't want Heath to get hurt, or hear any of this this. He didn't deserve to be spoken to like that. More importantly, I didn't want to think about what Heath could do to Amos with all his gang training and connections.
"P-Please, Amos. S-Stop." I stammered weakly and I tried to crawl away from him, but Amos' foot came out and he stomped hard on my ankles. I yelled out in pain, curling up as I jerked my leg away from him.
"Hey! Hey, Amos, is it? Come on, step away from Coe." Heath said as he neared me, his hands up in mock surrender, "Let him go and we can forget this all happened." He tilted his head slightly as he tried to advance towards us.
Heath gave me a once over and I silently begged him with my eyes to save me. I think my brother may have broken my ankle. I can't make a run for it. I was in too much pain. I was tempted to lay my head back down and just pray that I could sleep off this pain and be done with it.
"Disgusting faggots! Come take him from me if you want him back!" Amos yelled, reaching down to grab me by the hair, but Heath was faster as he growled lowly and sprinted at him with all his might.
I only blinked once and the next thing I knew, Heath had Amos pinned to the wall where I had been just minutes before, the knife that Amos had been waving around like a toy fell to the floor from where Heath had crashed into his wrist. I could not turn my body to see the whole thing, but I cheered a little in my head.
But my cheers were short-lived. I swallowed the bit of vomit that made its ways to my mouth when I saw Jared rush into the alley that we were in. His eyes darted from Heath and Amos, to my crumpled form on the ground. A dangerous glint in his eyes as he raised one side of his lips, baring his teeth, "Coe!"
I shivered at the deep, guttural voice that scraped my ears and shook my core. I would give an arm to hear him use this voice with me in bed. God, save me from my naughty thoughts. How could I be so distracted in the face of danger, in the face of the fact that I am sprawled on the floor, beaten to a pulp?
"Another one of your boyfriends, Coe? You sure are a slut brother, taking two at one time?" Amos dared to whistle before Heath's thick arms choked him at the throat.
I saw Jared's gaze fix on Amos and I almost wet myself at the way he was regarding him: as though he was something he was going to rip apart with his bare hands and have for supper. My heart skipped several beats and I gasped for some air when I realised that I was starting to hyperventilate.
It was like I was the only one that could see how close Jared was to killing Amos, because my brother shot off his mouth again despite having Heath pin his throat firmly, "You like fucking him in the ass huh, faggot?"
I closed my eyes and prayed for death to come for me and my brother quickly. I don't think I could live with myself now that Jared knew, and despite how much I hated my brother, I don't think I want to see what he would look like after Jared, my mobster best friend, was done with him.
When I heard Jared's footsteps start, I forced myself off the ground with my hands, staring at him wide eyed as he approached us. There was a menacing aura to the way he took each steps, they were calculated, and they made me shake like a leaf even though his gaze was fixed on Amos and not me.
When his hands dart out to grab Amos' skull with his large hands, I gulped audibly. Even Amos could tell that he was fucked. I could see it in his eyes. You could practically feel waves of fear roll off of him, or was it me?
I saw the moment when Jared exerted force to Amos' skull. I heard my brother let out a wretched scream and I stared for a few seconds at the scene before me. Jared was literally trying to crush his skulls with his bare hands and my brother could do nothing about it because Heath had him completely subdued. Oh God, I felt the bile in my throat burning.
I could only imagine the number of victims that had died this way too. How many had there been?
"J-Jared." I whispered, my heart racing and my body sweating painfully, "S-Stop! You- You're going to kill him!" I scrambled towards his legs to tug at his ankles when I saw my brother's face turning red and slightly purple. I could only imagine the pain he was going through. But it wasn't his pain that made my chest constrict in pain, it was the fear that Jared could go to jail for assaulting someone, perhaps even killing someone.
Jared made no indication that he heard me, and I wrapped my hands around his legs desperately, "Jared! Please! Stop!" I shouted as loudly as I could, but I was so weak from my injuries, and so scared that it sounded more like a pathetic whine.
But it was enough, evidently, because I saw Jared glance down at me, before his eyes twitched ever so subtly. He stared at my face for a few seconds, his eyes scanning my face and the rest of my body, before he finally let go of my brother so forcefully that I saw and heard Amos' head bounce off the wall with a crack. I winced when I saw my brother's body slacked slightly and his eyes blinking rapidly. There was blood trailing down the wall where he slid down slowly.
Jared's hands were reaching towards me in no time. I flinched slightly, and I could see that he was more than displeased with me for doing that when his lips curled slightly. But I couldn't help it. I just saw the man trying to squeeze the life out of my brother's head. I think I get to be scared of that same hand approaching me even though rationally I know that Jared would never hurt me like that.
Jared ignored my groan when he picked me up like I weight nothing. I didn't move or complain even when he held me like a lady to his body. My pride was the least of my concerns; I had other things to think about. Like how to explain to Jared about my brother, how I still had a living relative left and how I wasn't sent to the system because my entire family had died.
I needed to explain to Jared about the things that my brother had insinuated. Which leads right back to the real reason why I was sent to the foster care system. Which means I had to confront the fact that I lied to my best friend for ten years now. Hey Death? I think I'd like to ring that doorbell now.
Jared carried me into the car without even so much as a jostle and I buried my face into his chest when I felt him reach the car. He was so close to me right now, but I feel like I was going to lose him soon. He settled me into the car carefully as Heath caught up with us. I hope to God that my brother was still alive in that alley because he didn't emerge with Heath. While I had on many occasions try to come to terms with the fact that Jared and Heath might have committed murder before in their business, just the thought that it could happen right before me, to my own brother, made me shake in my seat.
Jared stared at me with a tensed jaw, before he reached to touch my face where I knew there was a bruise, "I should kill him." He whispered, before he unbuttoned his suit jacket and put it over me, before slamming the door shut in my face. Guess that means my brother was still alive.
We were completely silent on the car ride home. Completely and utterly silent.
There was no radio station playing in the background as Heath drove with his eyes in front. The engine was so quiet that I could almost ignore it. I could only hear a soft buzzing in my ear, and my own breathing.
I didn't even dare to turn my head to look at Jared. I couldn't either, with the pain that would stab through my core with each breath. I wondered if I broke any ribs. I kept my head down, tears falling on my lap and I made no move to wipe them. How was I supposed to fix this now?
∞
I hope you liked this chapter! I can't wait to see your comments as usual!