Chapter 26
I started making my way downstairs, feeling both excited and anxious, my chest rising and falling rapidly. He was here.
All I could see of him was the back of his head as he sat on the couch. I knew that he was aware of my prescence as his shoulders tensed up slightly, but it was like he was preparing himself to turn around.
So I just stood there, staring at the tendrils of hair that tickled his neck, wondering when everything just got so screwed up.
And how the hell I was processing it all like it was just an everyday normal scenario?
Eric stood up and finally turned around, his eyes burning into me with the intensity of a ravenous but cautious animal.
'Lia,' he whispered.
I stood transfixed as his voice caressed my ears, making me realise how much I missed him. I felt confused and overwhelmed as a mixture of emotions consumed me.
'Lia'. Eric grew closer to me, his arms reaching out to envelope me in a hug but before he could do so, a diatribe commenced.
'How could you?' I spat.
Eric withdrew, looking forlorn and lost. But I couldn't care less. For the first time in weeks, I felt aware and in control of how I was feeling and I wanted to make it known.
'I wasn't living the best life in the world, I know that, but it was mine and I made it for myself. When my dad died, I had to sell the house to pay the debt and his funeral. I left my home with nothing but 26 dollars and a tiny backpack of clothes and I made nothing into something. It wasn't the best but it was something. And you,' I blinked back the tears as Eric look pained. '...and Nathan, you saw me and you tagged me as someone that was so insignificant that nobody would care that I was gone. I'm not stupid Eric, I know what kind of girl I was back then. Untraceable. I was the perfect girl for the perfect crime; murder, prostitution,..... kidnap. I knew that. And that's what I thought when you threw me into the trunk of that car. It may have been a glorious moment for you and even hilarious watching my pathetic attempts to run away, but I was scared out of my wits because I knew the tag I carried. I was the perfect victim. Untraceable. I thought you were going to hurt me and kill me. I thought I was going to be reunited with my mom and dad again, if there is anything after this.'
I heaved as the grief started to claim my lungs. Eric just stood, watching me, and listening.
'Then you told me what you had planned for me. You didn't ask, you demanded and set my fate in concrete. You probably assumed that I would be grateful to you in some way, that my life before was so awful that I would eventually succumb to you in every way possible because what you were offering was the best I would ever get from this world. Well you are wrong. I don't want it. I just want my life to be mine again.'
Eric began to open his mouth but I interrupted.
'And then to top it off after all the trouble of getting me here, you run away.' I jabbed him in the chest, putting emphasis on the last three words.
I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath as my verbal stream was over. I didn't even know I was crying until I felt Eric's fingertips brush the tears gently off my cheeks.
'I'm so sorry. Words can't describe the deepfelt disgust at how I have behaved. Please sit down with me. We need to talk.'
I felt Eric's hand envelope my own as he led me to the couch. As soon as we were comfortable, he began talking.
'The literature on this ritual is well not much to be honest. A collection of letters, diaries and some notes that have been made but that is all there is to it. One of the theories put forward was that werewolves can't just mate with any human as the supernatural magnetism can be too much. We need a human mate that is capable of withstanding such frequencies and what better mate to have than one who outright rejects you.' He smiled, sincerely.
I cocked my head to the side. 'Eric that makes no sense, you are suggesting that somebody who rejects is the perfect mate, but a rejection is a rejection plain and simple. You should have left me alone.'
'It does not work like that. We can move in a crowd of humans without much trouble, some may feel a slight heightening of their senses like they are being watched but overall they don't notice much.' He said, rubbing circles with his thumb on my hand. ' But a direct confrontation, the humans can't ignore. They either want to do everything to please you or avoid you or they want to start a fight. Either way it invokes very intense emotions, but you...'
'...felt nothing.' I finished.
'You were so calm, and sarcastic. I had picked you right there and then. The fact that you were a drifter was just a bonus. Your circumstances didn't matter, I wanted you so I was taking you plain and simple.'
I cringed at that.
'For kidnapping you, the way I did. I am so sorry. There is no excuse. What I did was a crime. Unfortunately there wasn't alot about how to convince you to be a mate to a werewolf and I was impatient. Abducting you seemed like the best way. I know now it was a mistake and may have even cost me in the long run.'
Eric grabbed my hands and kissed each one, his lips lingering slightly on the last before looking at me again.
'Amalia, this is your life and it's your choice. Whatever you decide, I will understand and respect that decision. But before you do, can I make one last plea?'
I nodded.
'I love you. I don't care that you are not my real mate. What I feel for you, it has grown everyday and I would love nothing more than to explore that with you. Oh, Lia, we could be incredible happy. I know it.'
'You're real mate?' I whispered confused, then it all came crashing down. How could it have not registered? Werewolves have soulmates. I was the replacement or more than likely the bedwarmer until the real thing came along.
'Yes, well not my real mate anymore. I believe she may have died.'
'But you're not sure.' I snapped.
'Well, no but...'
'So if she should come along and be like 'Oh hi Eric, I'm your long lost mate'. Where does that leave me? Out of your bed and on the doorstep.'
'No, never,' Eric growled, his eyes turning. 'I don't care if by some miracle she arrives at our door. You will not be discarded like trash.'
'How could you possibly still love me when the real thing comes along. I'm just the substitute.'
'No you are my second chance. Do you know how precious you are to me? I never thought I would get to feel the way that Nathan does for Jamie. I thought my chance to have a mate was lost.'
'But it might not be. She might still be out there.'
'I've checked, Lia. I went to every pack in the Americas. I even spent 6 months in Europe. She's not there. My best bet is that she is dead as of last year.'
'How would you know? Oh, the three packs that disappeared. You knew about that.'
'None of them answered my calls. I figured it was because the last time we visited, we caused a bit of a mess. A long story that involves rogues and the local newspaper. The Haven pack ambushed me in town, started asking me questions. When they were satisfied, they left. Then I had Caine on the phone, swearing me to secrecy as he was worried that the massacre of three packs would cause chaos. I heard that you had a close encounter with the pack today.'
'No kidding. I don't understand why they spoke to me but.... It was enlightening,' I whispered. I caught Eric's eyes gazing at my face.
'Most likely out of curiosity. You are the first human mate of a werewolf since 1945,' Eric said. He reached for my hand and began stroking his thumb along the back of my hand.
'So what's your answer, Amalia? Will you stay?'
I opened my mouth and closed it again. I didn't know what to say to him or what decision was best for me. Whether I liked it or not, nothing was the same anymore. I was no longer the orphaned drifter, I now had werewolf blood in my veins and people that cared for me In their own strange way. But I wanted back my control and Eric just giving me it did not seem like enough. I had to exercise that control in order to feel truely free.
'I don't know, Eric. I don't know.'