THREE YEARS LATER
"Sara it's only me," Lia spoke on the phone, grabbing her car keys and purse.
"Hey, are you on your way?" Sara spoke back through the phone.
"Yeah I'm just leaving now sorry, I'm running a bit late, I'll be there to get her as soon as I can." Lia said, opening the door to her apartment and locking it behind her. She hung up the phone and sped quickly down the single flight of stairs and out to the parking lot of her building. She got in her car and took off to Sara's. She checked the time constantly, knowing she was late, it was already 10am, and she was due to be there at 10. She sighed as the traffic ahead of her seemed to be piling up. Her phone buzzed on the passenger seat, and she picked it up as her car rolled to a stop. Are you almost here? - Sara Xx
Lia read the message and huffed, putting her phone back down as the lights changed to green, and she took the next turn.
As she pulled into Sara's street she could see them standing outside the building, Sara, and her daughter, Victoria-Mae, Tori for short. Lia stopped beside them and rolled the window down.
"I'm so sorry I'm late, can I give you a ride to work? I know it's not far but it'll be faster than walking." Lia offered.
"That would be great, if you don't mind." Sara accepted the offer.
"No problem. Tee, sit in the back for now you can switch when mom gets out okay?" Lia said to the young girl. Tori nodded, hopping in the back and sitting in the middle seat. She liked to be able to see out the front window.
"How're you doing kiddo?" Lia asked Tori as she turned the car around and headed to the tattoo shop.
"I'm okay." The girl said in a quiet, raspy voice.
"Good. You wanna know where we're off to today?" Lia asked her.
"Where?" She asked, her eyebrows a little furrowed.
"Toys R Us. I know how much you love shopping there." Lia said in an excited tone. The girl giggled a little.
The radio played quietly as they drove to the tattoo shop. Lia could hear the all too familiar vocals of Demi Lovato, her single Stone Cold filling the silence of the car.
"I like this song, can you turn it up a little please?" Tori asked Lia. Lia bit her tongue and turned the volume up so it was audible. Sara glanced over at Lia briefly, before turning back to watch the road.
Sara knew about what had happened between Lia and Demi, they'd known each other for three years now, and the paparazzi photos of them eventually came out, although it was never confirmed who either person was, but speculated a lot. When the photos came out, about a year after they broke up, Demi left social media, and is yet to make a comeback, and Lia had a breakdown; she thought that Demi had cut off social media because of a relapse, but had no way of finding out if that was true, she went off the grid for a while. She couldn't bring herself to call Demi, or text her, in case she didn't get a reply, or didn't get the reply she wanted. Meanwhile, Demi was fine, slightly irritated by the fact that the photos had surfaced, but ignoring the questions, none of which were aimed at her. Shortly after their breakup, Demi hooked up with Wilmer, ignoring her better judgement of him. Long before the beach paparazzi photos, there were odd photos of Demi and Wilmer together around the city. Lia saw one blog about them, and also left social media. The only news she had was from the papers and the radio, so she was well aware of Demi's new music, and her flourishing heterosexual relationship.
"You okay?" Sara asked Lia, cautiously. Lia nodded, and pulled over.
"Thanks for the ride, Tori baby I'll see you later okay? Just let Lia know when you want to come home and she'll bring you, you know the drill." Sara explained to her daughter, the same thing she explained every day that Lia picked her up.
"I know momma." Tori spoke, again, very quietly.
"Okay, have a good day, I love you." Sara said, leaning to the back seat and planting a kiss on Tori's forehead.
"I love you too." Tori replied. Sara got out the car and waved goodbye, then headed into work. Lia turned her body to face Tori.
"You getting in the front kiddo?" She asked her. Tori smiled and nodded, unbuckling her seat belt and climbing over the seats before plopping down into the passenger seat.
"Right, seat belt back on then, we're going toy shopping."
*****
Demi pushed her cart through the aisles, carefully looking at the items stacked on the shelves. She wore black jeans, trainers, and a hoodie, and still had her sunglasses on although she was inside. Looking around her, she saw a bunch of mothers and their kids either sitting in the seat of the cart, or tugging on their mothers hands. She winced a little, as if someone had just punched her in the stomach.
Tugging on Lia's hand, Tori ran into the store, and immediately dragged her to the stuffed animal section, which was just by the entrance; walls stacked from top to bottom with all kinds of stuffed animals. Tori let go of Lia and started looking through the shelves, trying to find what she wanted. She loved cats.
"Don't you have enough stuffed animals? You could run like, 5 zoos." Lia joked with the eight year old. Tori shook her head and jumped up to grab a toy on a higher shelf, but couldn't quite reach it.
"Let me help you. Which one is it?" Lia asked her. Tori pointed directly to a kitten teddy, it was small and with ginger fur, and a white belly.
"This one?" Lia asked, picking up the ginger cat. Tori smiled and nodded, reaching her arms up to take the toy from Lia.
"Okay...but you know your mom doesn't like me buying you things, so don't tell her okay?" Lia said to her. She nodded, and cuddled the kitten into her chest.
"You don't have to get it for me, I just wanted to cuddle her." Tori said in a whisper, stroking the cat's fur.
"Tee, I'm gonna buy you all the things you want okay? What kind of big sister would I be if I didn't spoil you, huh?" Lia asked Tori.
Not long after Lia and Sara met that first time, Sara invited Lia for dinner at her apartment, to introduce her to Tori. Little did Lia know that Tori was the result of an affair between Sara and Lia's father. For almost 6 years, Lia had a little sister, of how much relation didn't matter to her, but she had a sister, and she'd missed out on the first 5 years of that little girls life. Lia had no hesitation to meet Tori and get to know her, and love her unconditionally. After all, they both had the same absent father. In the process of getting to know Tori, Lia soon discovered that the girl was riddled with anxiety, and only spoke to people she was completely comfortable with. It took a couple of years for Tori to even say hello to Lia, but she was persistent and had vowed not to give up on her little sister, they needed each other, and Lia would wait however long it would take to get a relationship with her, no matter how many years of her life she had missed.
The girls carried on walking through the aisles, Lia was picking stuff up and putting it back down, not seeming to be able to make a decision about what to get.
"What're you looking for Leelee?" Tori asked Lia as she played with her teddy.
"It's baby Ember's birthday tomorrow, she's gonna be 3 already, so I'm looking for a present for her." Lia explained to Tori.
"Doesn't she like the little mermaid?" Tori asked. Lia nodded, picking up a doll. Tori grabbed Lia's hand and led her to the younger kids toys. The girl sure knew her way around this store.
They walked over to the babies section, which usually went up to 3 years, and Tori ran down the aisle to the Disney section, looking up and down the shelves for something Little Mermaid. Lia had stopped a way behind Tori, and was staring at a woman with a shopping cart full of newborn items: bottles, pacifiers, diapers, baby grows, mittens, all in white. Lia's heart began to race as the girl turned around. Lia walked on after Tori, and pretended though she didn't just see Demi. Why did she have all that stuff in her cart? Maybe it wasn't her cart...maybe Dallas is pregnant? Thoughts were rushing through Lia's head faster than she could catch up with. She wasn't sure if Demi had seen her too, or if she hadn't noticed, but she was starting to convince herself that they made eye contact in the split second it took for Lia to walk away.
"How about this?" Tori pulled her out of her trance, and was holding up a bundle of Little Mermaid character soft toys. Lia stared at Tori for a few seconds, still dazed, before she could answer.
"That's perfect babe, yeah, let's go." Lia agreed, taking the set of toys from Tori and heading to the checkout.
*****
"Can you come pick me up please? I need to get out of here." Demi whispered through the phone as she stood at the self service checkout, scanning her items.
"Yeah I'm leaving now." Marissa spoke back through the phone. The call was brief, Demi couldn't risk anyone recognising her voice. She didn't want to be seen at all, but only she could make this trip. She pulled her card out of her purse and paid for the items, stuffing them in bags and briskly making her way to the exit.
She stood at the front of the store waiting for Marissa's car. Luckily she was in the city and wouldn't have been long. Just as Demi thought that, she saw the car pull into the lot and she made her way over to the passenger door.
"How did you get here?" Marissa asked Demi as they drove out.
"Uh, Max dropped me, I told him I had to get something for a for Bentley's birthday." She explained.
"Bentley?" Marissa asked.
"Tiffany's youngest, he's 2 soon." Demi explained, referring to her old colleague from Sonny With A Chance.
"Ohh right, he's 2 already? It seems like only yesterday she had KJ." Marissa pondered on the memories of Tiff's first boy.
"Yeah I know. I just promised myself I'd see her more, you know, since the accident." Demi said.
Tiffany's husband of 5 years was killed instantly in a car accident with a friend of his, leaving Tiff on her own with her two young sons. Demi felt bad that she had barely seen Tiffany since the wedding where she was a bridesmaid, accompanied by Wilmer. Things just seem to come full circle.
"Yeah. God I couldn't imagine what she's going through. And those boys, Bentley will barely remember his dad like, that's just heartbreaking." Marissa said. The car filled with silence, and the radio was filling the silence, but it was still awkward, weirdly. Things were never awkward with Demi and Marissa. But with the elephant in the room, things hadn't been normal for a while.
"So..." Marissa spoke. Demi rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming.
"I'm the only person who knows? Still?" She asked. Demi nodded and looked down, fiddling with her rings.
"Does he not know..?" Marissa asked carefully. Demi shot her a glare, and looked away again.
"No. He's in Mexico filming the show. I found out the day he left." She explained. Silence filled the car again as Marissa found herself with nothing to say.
Marissa pulled up outside Demi's building, and shut off the car. They sat for a minute or so, still in silence, before Demi spoke.
"I saw her." She said.
"What?" Marissa replied.
"And I think she saw me too." Demi added.
"Who?" Marissa was confused.
"Lia."
"What!?" Marissa exclaimed, making Demi jump a little.
"In the store, she was there, the aisle over from me, she looked at me, and she walked away as I turned around. She had a girl with her." Demi explained briefly.
"Shit..." Marissa said quietly.
"Who was the girl?" Marissa asked. Demi shook her head.
"Not a girl girl, like, a kid, a little kid." Demi elaborated.
"Oh right...was it her friend's baby? She must be 2 or 3 now?" Marissa asked. Demi shook her head again.
"No she was older, I think. I don't know what kids look like at what age. But she had dark hair it wasn't Rose's girl." Demi described the girl.
"She looked a lot like Lia." Demi added reluctantly. Marissa furrowed her eyebrows, and for a few moments sat there thinking. Her jaw dropped open and she rose in her seat.
"You don't think she..."
"Don't." Demi snapped. "Don't even go there."
"But you don't know. It could be hers." Marissa speculated. Demi picked up her shopping bags from the foot well and opened the car door.
"I'll see you later." Demi spoke, closing the car door firmly behind her and rushing to her apartment.
*****
Lia pushed her front door open, letting Tori run inside before her. She closed the door and set her bag and purse down on the coffee table.
"Tee you want a drink or something?" Lia called to Tori, who had run to her room.
In the past three years, Lia had made it her life's work to get her own place, and be completely independent. She had succeeded. She was promoted to supervisor at TopShop in the fall after she had broken up with Demi, and so was earning a little more, and saving quicker and quicker. She got her apartment first, in the city and a lot closer to work so she could walk in while she saved a little more for a car of her own, which she eventually got. She left Sapphire's house, still to this day so grateful to her and her parents for taking her in for all those years.
Tori came back into the kitchen and nodded, peeking into the refrigerator to see what there was. She pointed at a carton of juice, and Lia picked it up for her, and putting the straw through it.
"Thank you." Tori said in her quiet, raspy voice. They both went to sit down on the couch, Lia switched the TV on and put the Disney channel on for Tori.
"What'd'ya wanna do kiddo? Mom finishes work at 4pm today, it's almost noon now...you hungry?" Lia asked Tori. She shrugged, giving the answer of either 'not really' or 'kinda'.
"Well...I can order something for us, and you might be hungrier for it when it comes? How about that?" Lia suggested. Tori nodded and sipped on her drink, engrossed in whatever the latest Disney channel show was. It was Hannah Montana when Lia was a kid, who knows what it is these days.
"Alright, what do you fancy?" Lia asked. Tori was extremely fussy with her food, which explained why she was so small for her age, people always mistook her for being younger. She was lactose intolerant, and iron deficient, so had to take supplements, which she hated, but never argued with, but she still wouldn't eat spinach.
Lia stood up and went over to one of the cabinets in the kitchen, opening it up and pulling out a bunch of food menus.
"We can geeeet...chinese food?" Lia suggested. Tori scrunched up her face and shook her head. She wasn't really even a fan of junk food, but Lia liked to treat her to nice food, she wasn't a great cook.
"Okay, how about indian?" Lia asked again as she flopped back down on the couch, flipping through the menus. She received the same reaction.
"Mexican?" No.
"Deli? You want a sandwich or something?" Nope.
"Thai?" Lia knew that one was a stretch, Tori pulled a face saying it all, she had never tried Thai food, and today wasn't going to be the day she did.
"Victoria Mae Richardson, are we seriously gonna have to get pizza...again..." Lia huffed, pretending to be annoyed. Tori smiled a little and nodded.
"But no cheese." She croaked in her little raspy voice.
"Of course, no cheese."
They sat and watched a movie while they ate their ham and pineapple (with no cheese) pizza, and it was of course Tori's choice of film, which was Toy Story 3 today. She had initially asked if they could watch Camp Rock, which was her favourite film, but Lia had told her to choose something else because they watch it all the time. And also because Lia already couldn't stop thinking about Demi today after their somewhat encounter at the toy shop.
The movie was almost ending when Lia's phone started ringing. It was Rose. Lia got up and answered her phone, going into the kitchen area to speak so she didn't interrupt the movie for Tori.
"Hey what's up?" Lia said as she answered the phone.
"No nothing, I'm just wondering what time you'll be over tomorrow, I'm doing picnic food at about 12," Rose said, referring to Ember's birthday.
"Oh I'll be over before 12 for sure, need to get my cuddles in before everyone else turns up." Lia laughed a little.
"Haha okay that's fine, she'll be up at the break of dawn anyway, she is well aware it's her birthday tomorrow." Rose added.
"Oh boy, I can't imagine how hyper she is...I'm not sure I want to." Lia chuckled.
"No, no you don't, trust me." Rose chuckled too.
"I'm sure I'll see tomorrow, I've gotta go, I'm about to miss the best bit of Toy Story." Lia said, glancing over to Tori who was still completely engrossed in the movie.
"Ohh right, okay I'll let you go, see you tomorrow babe." Rose said goodbye.
"Yeah, see you tomorrow, bye." Lia hung up the phone.
Lia sat back down on the sofa and focused her eyes on the TV screen. A few minutes passed before the silence was broken.
"Are you going to see baby Ember tomorrow?" Tori asked Lia in her small, raspy voice.
"Yeah babe for her birthday." Lia replied to her with a smile.
"Can I come with you?" She asked.
"Yeah of course you can, I'll be going quite early though, I'll call your mom and ask her if you can stay overnight if you like?" Lia suggested.
"Sure." Tori smiled, then turned back to the movie.
"I'll call her when she's finished work." Lia added, stroking Tori's brunette locks.
*****
Demi sat with her knees tucked up to her chest on her bed at her parents house. She'd driven there from her apartment after the incident. She wasn't even sure if she could call it an incident, nothing actually happened. She had a notepad resting on her knees, and a pen in her hand, scribbling away. She flipped the notepad shut when she heard a knock on her door.
"Hey, it's just me." Dallas appeared through a crack in the door.
"You scared me." Demi sighed, running her fingers through her hair, visibly distressed.
"You're really jumpy at the moment, are you okay?" Dallas asked her sister as she entered the room and sat next to Demi on the bed. Demi's dropped her arms to her stomach, wrapping them around her body.
"I'm fine." She smiled unconvincingly.
"Hm, I'm convinced." Dallas made a satire comment.
"I saw her." Demi huffed, swinging her legs round to the side of the bed and getting up. She began pacing around the room, her arms still wrapped around her body.
"Saw who?" Dallas asked, confused. There had been no talk of Lia for three years, Dallas had every right to be confused. But as she paid closer attention to Demi's distressed pacing, she soon clicked on.
"Lia?" She said, lowering the volume of her voice, however that didn't stop Demi from flinching at the sound of her name.
"Where did you see her? Did she see you? Did she talk?"
"I don't know if she saw me we didn't talk, I was at the baby store she was there with a little kid." Demi spoke quickly.
"Woah slow down, the baby store? With a kid? Jeez..." Dallas took a moment to process it.
"Her kid?" She asked cautiously.
"She sure did look a lot like her, but I don't know, she looked too old maybe." Demi spoke as the image of Lia and the mysterious girl circled her mind. A few moments passed before Dallas spoke again.
"What were you doing at the baby store?" Dallas asked, confused. Demi stopped pacing.
"Uh, Bentley's birthday. I need to see Tiff and I had to get him something." Demi said quickly, and swiftly went back to pacing. Dallas watched her sister closely for a while, analysing her body language. She didn't comment further.
"So, what are you doing?" Dallas asked, referring to the notepad. Demi shrugged.
"Writing her a letter. I need to apologise, and I need to know what's going on with her it'll drive me crazy otherwise and I don't need that right now. And I don't think I'll get anywhere unless I start with an apology." Demi explained her actions. Dallas nodded.
"Are you sure you're ready for this? What's gonna happen if she responds? You can't even hear her name without flinching let alone say it." Dallas made a good point.
"I need to do it otherwise I'll never get over it." Demi said, sitting back down and picking up the notepad again.
Nothing was said while Demi read over what she had written and scribbled out things she didn't like. Dallas kept watching her, and knew something bigger was up.
"How are things going with Wilmer?" Dallas asked. Demi stopped writing and looked up.
"Fine I guess. We haven't talked for a while. He's away in Mexico." Demi gave very little detail.
"Are you guys okay though?" Dallas pushed for Demi to tell her the truth before she out right asked. Demi pulled her legs in closer to her chest and nodded. She put the notepad down again and curled her arms around herself again.
"Can you drive me to Lia's friend's house? I don't know if she still lives there, but I don't have another address. I need to get this to her." Demi asked Dallas.
"Sure. Now?" Dallas asked. Demi nodded.
"Okay, let's go."
Demi continued to scribble in the notepad the entire journey, until they arrived outside the house. Demi rewrote the letter neatly, so it didn't look like she'd put the amount of effort in that she actually had. She re-read it before folding it in half.
"Done?" Dallas asked her. Demi nodded and sighed, pulling out an envelope and a stamp from her purse.
"Why are you putting a stamp on it? Aren't you just going to put it in the mailbox?" Dallas asked, confused.
"Well, yeah. But then she'll know it was hand delivered and, I don't know, there's something weird about that." Demi spoke, making very little sense to Dallas. But Dallas made no comment, and just waited patiently. She watched her sister closely as she wrote Lia's name and the address on the back of the envelope, and stuck the stamp in the corner. Demi sighed, looking out the car window at the house.
"Hey, you've taken a big step just by coming here, I'm proud of you." Dallas said, resting her hand on Demi's arm. Demi smiled nervously and nodded.
"Thank you." She said, then quickly got out of the passenger seat, and walking briskly to the mailbox beside the drive of the house. She placed the letter in the empty box, and headed back to the car, not looking back over her shoulder in case she second guessed herself.
Demi got back in the car and wrapped her arms around her stomach. Dallas watched her, but remained silent for several seconds.
"Demi...can I ask you something?" Dallas asked carefully. Demi nodded. Dallas looked from Demi's eyes, to her stomach where her arms rested, and then back to her eyes, which were now quickly filling with tears. Dallas sighed, and then spoke again.
"You didn't go to the baby store for Bentley...did you?"
*****
"Rise and shine kiddo," Lia said as she knelt down beside Tori's bed. "Time to get up." Tori groaned a little before rubbing her eyes and opening them slowly.
Lia turned her spare bedroom into a room for Tori about a year after she moved in. It made things a lot easier for her and for Sara too.
Lia stood up and headed to the window, opening the blinds to let in the sun. It was almost 10am, and Lia wanted to be at Rose's by 10:30am.
"Come on I'll help you pick something to wear." Lia said as she opened the closet and pulled out a few items.
"Are you dressed already?" Tori croaked as she sat up in her bed. Lia nodded.
"Yeah I'm all ready, just need to get you dressed and fed then we can go." Lia explained. Tori climbed out of bed and stood beside Lia.
"That one." Tori pointed to a grey coloured sweatshirt. Lia set it aside and opened up the drawers underneath the closet.
"These?" Lia pulled out a pair of black leggings. "You can wear those little boots with this." Lia suggested. Tori nodded and picked up the clothes.
"You want breakfast?" Lia asked and she headed toward the door, leaving Tori to get dressed. The girl nodded, and Lia knew what she'd want, the same thing she ate every time she came here; PopTarts.
Lia helped Tori into her boots, pushing them onto her feet. Tori watched as she nibbled on her PopTarts.
"Can I wear one of your hats?" Tori giggled. Lia looked confused for a second.
"My beanies? Sure kiddo." Lia chuckled, knowing it would be far too big for her little sister. She opened up the coat closet, and pulled out hers and Tori's jackets, and a black beanie for her sister.
As soon as they got to Rose's, Tori was playing with Ember, helping her open some of her presents. Jackson was with them, and although Tori was still extremely reserved around men and wouldn't talk around Jackson, he didn't mind in the slightest. He was so understanding. The fact that Tori even let him go near her said a lot.
"How comes she doesn't talk with him?" Sapphire asked me as we stood in Rose's kitchen. Rose handed me a coffee and I cupped it in my hands before answering Saph.
"She's grown up without knowing any guys, she'd probably never met a man before Jackson." Lia explained to Sapphire. Saph furrowed her eyebrows and watched the girls playing.
"She's so grown up for her age, isn't she." Saph stated. Lia nodded.
"She definitely can be, but she can be a kid too, she just has major trust issues. She's grown up not knowing who her dad is, and watching her mom act out on her depression, she's just seen a lot already." Lia sighed.
"I've never known a kid with such intense anxiety at that age before." Sapphire said.
"Well, you knew me when I was 8." Lia said without a flinch. Rose picked up her mug of coffee and walked away, going to sit down with Ember and Tori. She must have felt the tension.
Lia went to follow her, but was stopped by Sapphire.
"Hey, wait." Sapphire grabbed Lia's arm loosely.
"What?" Lia said in a semi-harsh tone. She wasn't angry with Sapphire, but she hated her always asking questions about Tori; she was just a kid, she didn't need to be analysed.
"This came in the mail for you, at my house," Sapphire handed Lia a half folded envelope from her back pocket. "I guess people still don't know you've moved out." Saph suggested. Lia unfolded the envelope and read the back, with her name and Sapphire's address on it. She frowned at it, noticing that it didn't have a postage print on it.
"This wasn't mailed. Someone put this in your mailbox. It hasn't been printed." Lia stared puzzled at the envelope. The writing looked familiar, but she couldn't put it in place.
"Thanks anyway." Lia said to her best friend, before heading into the living room to find Tori.
*****
"Thanks, see you soon kiddo." Lia waved goodbye to Tori and Sara outside Sara's block. She left Rose's earlier than she expected, but she had to open that letter. And she wasn't about to do it in front of everyone, in front of Tori.
She unlocked the door to her apartment, impatiently pushing it open and closing it behind her. Throwing her stuff down on the couch and kicking off her shoes, she moved through the space into her bedroom, closing the door behind her as if anyone would be disturbing her.
Lia sat down on the end of the bed, the letter in her hands. She sat there for some time, wondering who it was from, why it was sent to her at that address; everyone she knew was aware that she'd moved. The only two people who wouldn't have a clue would be her father, and Demi. She huffed and flipped the letter over, tearing the envelope open and pulling out a tatty piece of paper that looked like it had been ripped out of a notebook. Lia was still unsure if it had come from Hugh or Demi.
Unfolding the letter, Lia's eyes quickly scanned over each word on the paper. Then again. And again. Another time. Once more. It wasn't until the last two words that she actually knew who it was from.
Lia,
I don't even know where to start with this. I mean, I do, but besides that. I want to apologise for how I treated you those years back. A lot has changed for me now, and I'm aware of how little it would affect you to know that. Nonetheless, know that I am truly sorry.
I guess the reason I'm writing this, is because I was thinking a lot about you. I was reminded of you recently and it's killing me not knowing anything about your life anymore. It was just us for so long, and I know I was the one who ruined that, but I want to try to fix it.
Lia, I'm in trouble. I need someone. I know I have a ton of support but this is different. A lot different. Maybe we could meet soon, only if you want to, I understand if you don't.
I don't even know if I'm sending this to the right address, or if I have the right number for you, but my number is on the back, please, consider it.
Love, Demi x