ISABELLE.
Ecstatic didn't describe the feeling inside me right now. Nervous? Yes. Frightened? Hell yes. Over the moon, freaking happy? Yes! Yes! Yes!
The smile plastered across my face wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Seeing that small heartbeat flickering on the monitor, as I lay on an uncomfortable bed with my legs spread in the sterile doctor's office, just made everything set in, and become real. This was happening. The sound filling my ears, it was just magical. Pure happiness. This was happening.
Of course, I knew it was a huge possibility that I could be pregnant. We weren't trying to get pregnant, but we weren't too worried about birth control either. I had the signs. Sore breasts, feeling utterly exhausted and morning sickness. Every damn morning, I was throwing up. The biggest sign of all, was a missed period. That's when the reality set in of what may be happening. My first words when that second symbol appeared were, Oh shit.
Ashton had no idea, as I wanted to be sure before I told him that he'd put a baby in me and going to have a baby born around Christmas time. Coming here, I had just been expecting a blood test, but the doctor wanted to do an ultrasound. I went to lift my shirt, when he told me to take my bottoms off. It was uncomfortable, and could put most men to shame. Internal examination? Heck, I hadn't heard of those before.
"Everything looks well. You're measuring at Nine weeks." Dr Nicholls pointed out, his calm voice eased the fact he was moving a giant wand around my vagina. "This is your first pregnancy, correct?"
"Yes." I answered. "It is."
"I'll print a couple of images for you to take and share with your husband." The wand was slowly removed, as he passed over a handful of tissues for me to clean myself up. Giving me a warming smile as he left the room, allowing for me to change, and sit back down.
Although Ash and I were still together, we weren't married. Not going to lie, after almost 8 years of dating, I was hoping he would hurry up and put a ring on it soon.
Leaving the hospital, I headed straight to school, needing to pick Jenna up from year 8. She was now our 14-year-old headache who obviously had her father wrapped around her little fingers. Anything she wanted, she got. Anything she said, he believed.
Even her word over mine at times.
Waiting in the car park until it turned 3PM. I sat, holding the photograph of my ultrasound, and stared at the little image of our baby, with one hand placed against my flat stomach. I couldn't wait to have a belly, for the world to know we were having a child together.
Another thing I couldn't wait for, was to see Ashton's reaction when I told him I was pregnant. Hopefully he didn't freak out too much. I really wanted to YouTube it, but that video would never be surfaced to light of day if he had his way.
I spotted Jenna walking out with her friends. She had grown up to be a pretty girl, with long blonde hair and deep brown eyes. She looked like her mother. Putting the photo away before she noticed, I smiled as she opened the back door, tossing her back on the seat then slid into the front.
"Hi, did you have a good day at school?" I asked, pulling out onto the road. It was the same question each day, asking because I wanted to know about her day. She however, ignored me. "Did you learn anything new?" I tried, trying to ask her things that forced her to answer me. Again, no response but a heavy sigh as her arms crossed over her chest. This time, I sighed after her, keeping my voice calm. "It would be nice if you could answer when you're spoken to Jenna."
Never once had I raised my voice at her. Yes, she frustrated the hell out of me at times, causing me to either walk away, or bite the insides of my cheeks, but I hardly ever found the need to yell or scream. She knew however, that I found ignoring someone when spoken to, very disrespectful.
"School was fine. I didn't learn anything new."
"Oh? what do we send you to school for then?" I grinned, trying to lighten the mood with a mum joke.
Her lips remained in a tight line, shrugging. "Dad pays for my schooling, not you."
Ouch. I noticed her pulling out the iPhone from her sports bra. "You're not meant to have your phone at school, Jenna. That's the rule of you having one."
"I forgot."
Forgot my arse. The ten-minute drive felt longer, and I was relieved to pull into our drive way. We had a two-story place, very modern. The outside was painted in grey tones, as the inside all walls were white except a feature wall in the hallway, which was bright green. Ashton had built this himself, taking extra pride in making everything just right. He worked on a daily basis for his own company, building homes and business that he was contracted to. A job which brought him much happiness, and I couldn't be prouder that all his hard work was paying off.
As Jenna began to rush off up the staircase, I called out. "Dinner will be ready by six. Come and do your homework before then please."
"Whatever step bitch." And then the door slammed.
What Jenna didn't realise, that the house echoed at the best of times, and I could hear her perfectly from the stair case to the top where her room was. While Ashton was around, she called me Isabelle. When he was out of sight, it was step bitch, or worse, my mother's replacement.
He never spoke about her, we had the awkward conversation when Jenna asked who and where she was. Ashton, instead of telling her the truth, lied to her. The truth would break her, and change the perfect perception of what her mother is, to the horrible reality of who she really was.
She had passed away during childbirth. That's what he told her.
She and him, were never in a relationship and Jenna was the product of a regretful and drunken one night stand. That's the truth.
Jenna has made it no secreted longing that she wishes things were different. Often using it against him. Throwing it in his face when he must work early morning cementing a slab and can't drive her to school. She'll storm off, wishing her mother was still here so she could go and live with her. I can always hear his heart break as he reaches for his phone, pushing an appointment back just to make sure Jenna is pleased.
Where was the little 6-year-old that loved having all my attention? She could still have it, only she just didn't want it anymore. I missed that little girl.
The bliss of being called mum stopped as she reached her teenage years and began high school. It went back to being Isabelle. I won't lie, after almost eight years of being called mum constantly, it broke my heart. I never responded, and hoped it was at first a slip. And then I hoped it was a phase of being a teen. Waiting for the day she reverted to mum. It never came and the hope died away.
Ashton didn't say anything about it, merely shrugging it off as if she had never called me mum in the first place. Him doing that, hurt just as bad.
I had quit my job two years after we moved in together, twelve months of dating and we were packing my small apartment up to move me in with him and Jenna. When his schedule became more constant, deciding to be there for Jenna when she needed as he couldn't up and leave work sites if she suddenly fell ill at school. I never seen taking care of her as a job, it was a choice. Choosing to be there for her, when she needed me. Hairdressing was my passion, and maybe one day I could make a return, focus on my goals and dreams of opening my own salon. That was on the cards one day.
Until then, I was the housewife. Only, I wasn't his wife, and I no longer felt like a mother.
In Jenna's words, I'm just dad's young girlfriend who lives with them.
Ash and I had spoken about us having children before, he was all for it and couldn't wait to expand our family of three when the time was right. We both wanted to be married first. That talk was two years ago, and I was still eagerly waiting for him to finally get down on a bended knee and ask me those four words I longed to hear.
With dinner ready half hour ago, Jenna finally came downstairs, claiming to have been reading a book for school. She was most likely, on Facebook chatting with her friends. Tonight, with my pregnancy news, I was too happy to care about it and would let this slide.
Eating a bowl of lasagna, she looked up and spoke with a full mouth. "There's a twilight fair at school. I need a cake."
"Oh?" The fork in my hand wavered in front of me. "Do you need me to make one?"
"Well naturally. I'm not making one, and it needs to be gluten and nut free." She said between chewing mouthfuls. "Make red velvet and drop it off to the office before Tuesday."
"How about you ask me, Jenna. Instead of assuming, or demanding." Or, how about you shut your damn mouth as you eat, and learn some table manners as well as respect.
Her brown eyes narrowing. "I did ask you." And with that, she stood up pushing her half-eaten bowl of food on the table and ran off upstairs again.
"No problem." I sighed, sitting at the round dining table alone once again.
Finishing off dinner, I had never felt so lonely in my life, but that's how it was most of the time when Ash worked late. Jenna and I barely speaking to each other, I wasn't sure how I could talk to her when she wasn't trying back. I could have gone upstairs, demanded she get her arse back to the table and finish her food but I was just exhausted. Her games were tiring me out.
I knew Ashton was home when footsteps came rocketing down the staircase, charging towards the front door with a loud scream of "Daddy."
Half rolling my eyes as I stacked away the dishwasher, she was all nice to him without any effort whatsoever. He was none the wiser, and I'd given up trying to explain to him. He was always on the defensive, accusing me of over exaggerating when her waterworks came on and denying everything I had said.
My heart suddenly began to race, soon enough he would know I was pregnant and he was going to be a father again. I was smiling, it was immediate when he was always close. Hearing his footsteps walking behind me.
"Nice arse."
I had been bent over, placing the lasagna dish in the bottom drawer. "Hello to you, too."
His voice deep, flirty as I stood straighter, feeling his arms wrapping around from behind. "Join me for a shower." It wasn't a request.
Turning, I took him in. Completely covered in dirt and dust, but still made my heart race. Somehow, knowing I was carrying his child, made me love him deeper. "You're filthy." Reaching up, I swept my fingers through his dark brown hair. "Are you sure you don't want to eat first, I made your favourite."
His blue eyes stared hungrily to mine. "You're my favourite thing to eat."
His lips drew closer, and I hesitated, teasing him before I fully gave in. How could I not? He is gorgeous. Tanned skin, 6ft 3 and build like a rugby player with big strong arms. "Well then, I better feed you."
Surprisingly, our sex life hadn't really diminished from the honeymoon faze. We had sex frequently, almost daily and unless Ash had go away for work, there wasn't a reason not to. We were very into one another. Unless we were interrupted that is, then the mood was completely gone. Nothing could turn us both off quicker than when Jenna would bang on the bedroom door, asking what we were doing for so long, and asking why she couldn't come in.
We often had sex with my foot on the bathroom door downstairs if the mood stuck us.
Completely naked in front of him as he followed me into our large walk in shower, his hand rested on the curve of my his, turning me as soon as the hot spray of water hit. His breath warm against my face as he spoke. "I missed you today."
"I can feel." His cock pressed against my stomach as he backed me against the tiled wall. A moan escaped as his lips skimmed down my neck. "I missed you, too."
"How was your day? Did Jenna finish her homework?"
Well, I couldn't lie to him. "No idea. She spent the time in her room, I asked if she had any but she must not have." Who knew, definitely not me. "She did take her phone to school today though."
He eyed me, raising a brow. "Well, I guess that was bound to happen. If she looses it, then she wont be getting another one."
"What about you make her leave it on the kitchen bench each morning, it's distracting her a lot." That was an understatement.
"Belle, baby please. Not now, I've had a busy day." His hand gripped my hip tighter, as his other hand travelled up to my full breast, roughly cupping with a squeeze. "I love you." In other words, he didn't really care and this was the end of discussion.
He pressed into me, and oh god. My legs shook as his cock slid between my folds, up and down my slit as we kissed wildly, tasting one another for more. "I love you, too." I grasped out, taking as fistful of wet hair as he soon lifted and pinned me completely.
Our bodies soon joined at the groin, his cock thrust so deep inside I cried out loudly, unable to keep quiet. I don't know if the added hormones were making me hornier, but I couldn't get enough of him. Legs wrapped tightly around his waist, grinding back as we fucked, hard and fast in the shower.
Laying on the sofa, both spread out as we watched TV in the media room. This was his one thing he wanted in our house, a room to watch and relax without being annoyed. His fingers running up and down my back gently, almost putting me to sleep. I had the envelope with the baby pictures in my bedside table, for him to see once I told him our news.
"Ashton." I spoke with nerves, feeling as if I could be sick at any given moment.
"Mm?" he answered, his eyes still fixed on the TV. I moved up off of him, one leg on the sofa as I placed my foot on the floor. He looked concerned, reaching for the remote to pause his movie. He sat up, giving me his full attention.
Oh wow, this was harder than I ever thought. Now or never. Just do this. "I need to talk to you."
"What's wrong, beautiful?"
God, my heart was pounding so hard against my chest. Taking his hand in both mine, I squeezed. Not for him, but to try and stop mine from trembling. "How would you feel about us having a baby?"
He frowned, a moment only as he bit down against his lower lip and then the frown started to fade as his eyes lit up. A smile started to appear as he lifted his arm, brushing a fallen stand of hair behind my ear. His hand rested, cupping my cheek while his thumb stroked back and forth softly. "I think us having a baby together, is something I'd really like to ha-"
His words cut short, as the piercing scream that followed broke us apart. It was loud, deafening almost. "You promised me you would never have another baby! Especially with her!!"