Paige's POV
**3 hours later***
We meet up with the boys at the food court and Niall is eating <no surprise there>
"So where did you girls go?" Harry asks
"Hollister, Forever 21, Aeropostale, Abercrombie, Starbucks, Charming Charlies, American Eagle, Lulu, Athleta, and Lush." Dani says.
"If we keep taking you people shopping we will be broke" Liam laughs pulling Dani into him.
"Well you let us shop because you love us" Dani says sticking her tongue out at him.
"Sure we love you" Liam replies rolling his eyes playfully.
"hurtful!" Perrie, Dani, Ellie, and I say.
"what time is it?" I ask.
"Umm about 5:50." Louis says.
"wow we were shopping for a while...." I say considering we started around 2 this afternoon.
"do you want to get dinner?" Louis asks me. I shrug my shoulders. I do not feel like eating, I never do honestly but today it's different. I am so worried for my new school.
"okay I take that as a yes. Where should we go to eat?" he asks.
"NANDOS" Niall says.
"Of course" I mutter. Louis picks me up, and we walk to the car. About 10 minutes later we get to nandos and go to our regular seats.
"Hey guys. What do you want to drink?" Katie our regular waitress asks us.
"I will have tea." Louis says.
"I will have a diet coke." Zayn, Perrie, Ellie, Niall, and Harry say.
"I will have a dr. Pepper." Liam and Dani say.
"I will just have water." I say. Everyone looks at me after Katie leaves. I just suddenly become interested in my hands. About 3 minutes later Katie comes back with our drinks.
"would you like your regulars?" she asks.
"yes please" Liam says. Katie looks at me and says "what would you like honey?"
"umm just a plate of french fries" I mumble.
"are you sure?" she asks.
"yes thank you" I say.
Louis asks "Hadley please eat something other than french fries. It's not healthy" I look at Ellie and mouth 'help please' she just shakes her head.
She doesn't even know, no one does. They know something is wrong but they can't tell. We eat very fast. Everyone finishes their plates of food, and I eat about 7 fries, but it makes my stomach upset so i just drink loads of water. We drive home and the drive is filled with tension. We walk into the house and sit on the couch. I sit on Ellie's lap.
"Hadley please don't keep secrets from us." Louis says with his older brother instinct taking over. I know exactly what they are talking about.
"after you left for the x factor mom and dad hurt me more. They were horrid to me. You were the one keeping the peace in the house. When I would go to school people would make fun of me because of what I looked like. They would call me fat, bitch, they would say that I should be dead, they would say that you left for the x factor because of me. Because you hated me. I believed it. I believed that mom and dad were hurting me because I deserved it, after all, that's what they would say. I never saw you. I thought you hated me. I believed everything they said. I mostly believed when they said I should die, and that I was fat. I became anorexic, and depressed. I was admitted to the hospital 3 times because I was to sick to move. I wouldn't touch food, and I still don't. Mom and Dad hated me more when I wouldn't eat. All my "friends" left me, I was alone. I wouldn't come out of my room. Then when you came and took me here I was beyond mad. I hated you, obviously I got over that. I have over 100 hate pages on twitter and all of them have over 4 thousand followers. I always wanted my life to be over, I thought it was the easy way out." I say.
"Hadley have you ever tried to commit suicide?" Louis asks. I gulp. I never thought we would get to this question.
"have you?" he keeps asking. Tears forming in his eyes, he is preparing for the worst.
"yes. 13 times." I say. They look disappointed. I get off of Ellie's lap and run up the stairs to my room. I close the door and lock it. I hear everyone running upstairs and then knocking on my door. I go into my bathroom and do what I always do every day. I get my razor and break the blades off and press the cold metal to my skin.
I feel relieved after the blood starts coming out. I have scars all up my arms and thighs. Some are bright red, some are bleach white, some are pink, and some are bleeding. I add 4 new cuts to both thighs, both wrists, and my upper arms. I always only cut 4 times on each part of me I cut. I put a wet towel on my cuts to get the blood away. I pull on my sweatshirt and my sweat pants. I walk outside and into El's arms.
"I'm so sorry" I whisper. She is the only one that knows I cut, I bet everyone else does. They just won't admit it to themselves. She carries me into her and Louis room and lays me down on the bed. Her and Louis lay next to me.
"I'm tired" I say.
"go to sleep hadley." they say.
"goodnight hadley" El says after everyone said their good nights.
"night Ellie. I love you." I say back.
"I love you too" she says earning some 'awws' from everyone else. I say night and I love you to Louis before falling asleep in between Lou and El.
AUTHORS NOTE!!
This is a kinda long chapter! Yay! Omg 95 reads! I feel so loved! Thank you! I love you all! Follow me! Thanks! Bye!!