Kongpop put the note and the bracelet back into the box. His stare was... empty, as his breath was.. uncontrolled.
'I'm at your dorm, P'Arthit', Kongpop sent.
He sat back to the lounge, tried to calm his down. He needed to clear it, right now. Waiting 30 minutes is fine, instead of he avoided it, he didn't want get it worst.
'What happened?', Arthit sent.
'Nothing. Just want to meet you.', Kongpop sent.
'Okay, wait.', Arthit sent.
It's really 30 minutes of waiting until Arthit's face appeared.
"I think you must have something to tell, Kongpop. We just met yesterday", Arthit said once he entered his room.
"Nothing. I just want to meet you, P'Arthit.."
Arthit nodded.
"We meet everyday before, every minute. So I started to miss it now..", Kongpop added.
"Kongpop, don't say that.."
"Why I can't say so, P'Arthit?"
"Forget it. I'm going shower first.."
Kongpop found him.. somehow different. Should he ask about that guy straight away? He lie on the bed, took a deep breath many times.
15 minutes later he saw Arthit out of the bathroom.
"What is it, Kongpop?", Arthit asked when he found a gift box in his bed. He took a brecelet and the note inside.
"That's from the guy called Champ, P'Arthit", Kongpop said, took a sit. He kept staring at Arthit's eyes like he won't go away from it.
"P'Champ? But how?"
"It's sticking on your door, P'Arthit.. I found it once I got here.."
"And you opened it?", Arthit asked, as he read the small note inside.
"He said that, he wanted to give a surprise to his boyfriend who lives in his dorm.."
"So, you met him in here before?"
"Yes, about 30 minutes ago while I got here, then he came and sticking that thing. I thought he wanted do something bad to your door, but instead..", Kongpop stopped his words.
"But instead what, Kongpop? Go on.."
"But instead he gave a present, I guess. Like he said, he wanted to give his boyfriend a present", Kongpop added, with a flat sound.
Arthit startled, showing his curious face somehow. He didn't know how to explained. He's already stressful about his work earlier. Maybe he could be.. exploded if he could't hold it.
Arthit took a deep breath.
"Kongpop, so are you thinking that I have something with him?", Arthit asked, with a very low voice. He tried so hard to keep calm.
"I don't know, P'Arthit. He looked like had a crush on you, from his messages.."
"Messages? What messages?", now Arthit started to wonder again.
"Umm.. His messages, on your phone..."
"On my phone? So you read my messages too now?"
"Sorry, P'Arthit. But I couldn't h.."
Arthit cut his words.
"Kongpop, are you saying that you lose your faith in me?", Arthit asked, like for real, he's wondering what happen to his boyfriend.
"That's why I'm here, P'Arthit..", there was Kongpop said it honestly. He tried to make everything's clear, but he seemed say it in a wrong way, or maybe it's not a good time.
Arthit stroked his hair, found it ridiculous to know Kongpop's reason being there.
"Why did you keep replying his messages, P'Arthit?"
"Keep replying? He's my senior staff, Kongpop! Should I ignore him?", now Arthit's tone sound higher.
"I know that he's your senior staff. But can't you see his words? He tried to get attention from you.."
Arthit went silent. Trying to find the right words.
"Did I write him back with romantic words? Or something that make hin happy? Did I?", Arthit asked back.
"At least you could ignore him once he texted unimportant things..", Kongpop tried to defend his words.
"Kongpop, why are you so hot headed again?"
"Yes, I'm hot headed, P'Arthit. Should I go drowning myself again in the ocean?"
Arthit went silent.
"I deserved to know why there's a guys named Champ considering you as his boyfriend too, and giving this damn box on your door!", Kongpop said it in a little higher voice now.
Arthit thought, it's definitely not Kongpop that he used to know who said those words, like he's somebody else that he never ever met.
"I'm tired, Kongpop. Can we talk about this later?"
Kongpop found it getting weird.
"When, P'Arthit? Until that guy came with another gift box?"
Arthit stared at Kongpop, he couldn't believe what he just heard.
"Kongpop, if you continue talking like that, you'd better go. You're in a mess.. We won't make it clear now when you're still hot headed like this.."
"Then clear it now, P'Arthit. Say what you want to say.."
Then there's a knocking on the door. Arthit reached the door and opened it, he found things getting worst. It's P'Champ, came with a red rose.
"I'm leaving, P'Arthit", Kongpop took his bag and leave Arthit's dorm.
Arthit tried to follow Kongpop but he couldn't because P'Champ hold him, like so tight won't let him go.
"P'Champ, please..", he insist, but P'Champ won't let go. P'Champ pulled him inside instead, then he closed the door.
"Who is he, Arthit? I guess he's going to the wrong room. He said that his friend is in front of your room", P'Champ asked, pretending.
Should he tell him that the guy who's just out of his room is his boyfriend?, Arthit thought.
"Sorry, P'Champ. But I must go. Can you please understand me now?", Arthit begged, somehow.
"So what about my.. note in the box?"
"I can't, P'Champ. I already have someone!", he said as he prepared himself before going out.
"Arthit, please..", that Champ guy looked mad. He locked the door.
"What are you doing, P'Champ?", Arthit wondered why Champ's locking his door.
"Listen, I never had a rejection before. Do you think that you're that perfect, Arthit? I know that guy who's just left is your boyfriend. Why don't you just tell me that we're the same?", now Champ looked scary for real, sound like psycho instead.
Arthit tried to break him through to the door, but Champ hold him, and pushed him to the bed. From the size of their body, Arthit is smaller, he could hardly fight back.
"You're not going anywhere, Arthit.. my sun.."
"Are you crazy, P'Champ?"
"Yes, I'm crazy about you! Don't you know that I've tried to reach you for the last 30 days? Don't pretend that you never saw me.. Ohh, I don't know that you like younger guy.. You should try with the older one too, Arthit.. I wish that I'm that boy who could taste your body.."
Arthit tried to hit Champ, but he got fight back. Champ took off his shirt.
"I'll make you satisfy.. Come on, Arthit.."
As he tried to speak, Champ shut his mouth with his left hand, so tight. As his right hand stroked Arthit's hair, passionately, tried to kiss Arthit's neck.
Then he tried to bite Champ's hand. It worked. He kicked Champ's stomach, until he moved back to the wall.
Then there's another knocking on his door.
He ran to the door and unlock it. He saw the face that just left 10 minutes ago.
"Kongpop! It's not like what you saw!", Arthit shouted, in panted.
"Well, well, well.. Look who's here. You come in the wrong time, dude..", Champ said.
Kongpop saw it, something that he didn't want to see at all. Arthit's hair was in a mess, with that guy shirtless. He thought, what are they doing?
He couldn't think clearly. Then he took a step back and walked away without Arthit's explanation.
"Kongpop! Wait!"
Arthit ran as fast as he can. He wouldn't let such things happened to him and Kongpop, one silly misunderstanding.
Kongpop reached the half-stairs to the 1st floor while Arthit finally hold his hand.
"Kongpop! Could you listen to me first?", Arthit said it in louder voice, still panted. He didn't care there's a man who's just passing him, stared at him, strangely.
"Let me go, P'Arthit. I need time to clear my mind..", Kongpop said it with a weak voice.
"No, Kongpop. We need to clear it, now. If you still believe me, please don't go..", Arthit made him without choices now.
"Make it fast, P'Arthit.."
"Okay.. First, I'm sorry. I shouldn't ask you to go before. Then he came by, he started to say bad things, he's a psycho! He took off his shirt, he tried to rape me, Kongpop! I tried to fight back. Then you knocked on the door..", Arthit tried to explain in simple way.
Kongpop turned to look Arthit, like.. how come that thing happened?
"Please trust me..", Arthit's voice sound weaker.
"I already have you, Kongpop. Why should I play on fire like that?", he added.
Arthit sat in the stairs. He didn't think he should say other words to explain, as he stroked his own hairs. Feeling stressful somehow.
Kongpop went quiet. He never imagined before that this thing would happened to them. He didn't even how to act straight away.
He saw a tear fell down on Arthit's cheek, while Arthit wiped it away immediately.
Arthit stood up, tried to go back to his room.
"P'Arthit..", now his turn who hold Arthit's hand.
"Sorry for today, Kongpop. If you need time, then you can leave now. I won't hold you. Maybe I was wrong for being too nice to other people.."
Kongpop pulled Arthit's hand. He pulled him to his hug. He needed to clear it now. He won't let see Arthit in tears like that.
"I'm sorry, P'Arthit.."
Maybe those words were more than enough.
"Well.. My sun hurt me so bad.. What a romantic scene I see over here..", then P'Champ suddenly appeared right before them.
"P'Champ, you'd better leave..", Arthit said it, tried to be nice.
"Okay, nothing to worry..", as he passed Arthit with a cold stare.
"You'd better look out to your boyfriend..", he added while he's passing Kongpop.
They went back to Arthit's room a minute later. Kongpop found the bed was messy. He didn't feel it good to ask again.
Arthit tidied up his bed, while Kongpop's standing still in the balcony, staring at nothing.
Once he got back to the room, he saw Arthit was trying to get the gift box and its contents, and the red rose to the trash.
"P'Arthit, let's go out, I'm hungry.."
Arthit nodded. He went to the bathroom, washing his face that looked chaotic.
They went to a small food court near Arthit's dorm, where there's few people in there.
"What do you want to eat, P'Arthit?", Kongpop asked. He felt guilty somehow to see Arthit go quiet like that.
"Make it same as you..", Arthit said weakly.
Kongpop nodded.
Once their meals ready on the table, Kongpop suddenly lost his willingness to eat. He saw Arthit miserable somehow.
"P'Arthit. I'm sorry..", he started to talk.
"It's not your fault, Kongpop. I was the one who should be blamed.."
Arthit said it without seeing Kongpop, but to the ceiling instead.
They went silent for a minute
"Kongpop..", Arthit tried to speak, with his eyes stared at Kongpop's eyes.
The man in front of him stared back.
"Why did my heart feel so hurt to see you leaving me like before?"
Arthit kept on his staring.
"I felt this feeling before. In the drink stand, in the canteen near your dorm, when you let me take the pink milk. The night before we went to P'Tum wedding, once you ignored me without any words..", Arthit tried to describe that moments, to describe how his feeling that moment.
Kongpop noticed what he meant, that moment.
"That would be the first time I felt.. I need you, Kongpop. Like I don't need anything else but you..", he added.
Arthit tried to take a deep breath. He let himself back to the memories when he started his feeling to Kongpop, to explain it all that just happened.
"I was just..", he tried to continue but Kongpop cut it.
"P'Arthit.. I ignored you that day because I don't know what should I do, you didn't talk to me like you didn't even need me. And now, I would be the dumbest person if I left you again right away, without hearing your explanation. I was in a mess too, P'Arthit.. If only I didn't start to feel curious by reading your messages, maybe this thing wouldn't happen.."
Arthit found him.. right. He couldn't blame Kongpop for reading his messages. He didn't think there's his privacy or Kongpop's privacy. They agreed about that before. In fact, he knew Kongpop's phone password, but he didn't have any desire to check Kongpop's phone. Maybe just one time, to see the photo gallery.
"If only you didn't read my messages, maybe you wouldn't come this afternoon. And.. I don't know what would happen if you.. didn't come to see me..", Arthit said it, so weak.
Kongpop saw Arthit, with full of regret on his heart. He shouldn't leave him like that once Arthit opened that door. He didn't know what to say, the word "sorry" wouldn't be enough.
"I was coming to your dorm because I'm worried, P'Arthit. I didn't know how.."
"I hope it's destiny, Kongpop..", Arthit cut his words.
"That you came this afternoon. That the things happened today, it's a..", Arthit tried to add his words.
"It's a sign that I should believe you more, P'Arthit.. I didn't even think whether you're tired of your work today or.. I don't know, maybe other things. I should be the one who cheer you up, instead of making you feel.. worst.."
Maybe, it was the very first time for them, to feel miserable and guilty at the same time for each other. They didn't even try to cheer up each other, while both of them feeling down.
Kongpop stared at Arthit. He wanted to touch Arthit's cheek, he wanted so bad, just want to make sure that they'll be alright. That everything's okay now. But he couldn't do it. It's too obvious in a public area.
"Eat your meals, P'Arthit.."
Arthit nodded, although eating the meals would be the last thing he wanted to do that time. If only he could, he wanted to hug Kongpop as long as possible, until his feeling.. back to normal. He never had imagined before that he's going to this deep down miserable. He thought he's a strong person. But when it's coming back to love thing, he still needed to learn.
Then he heard some music in that food court, in a low sound, but he could hear the lyrics clearly.
There's nothing like us,
There's nothing like you and me,
Together through the storm.
There's nothing like us,
There's nothing like you and me,
Together, oh..
"Justin Bieber - Nothing Like Us"
Suddenly his eyes in teary, but he wiped it quickly before Kongpop saw it.
There's 5 minutes of silence. They're just stared each other while eating.
"P'Arthit, may I sleep over at your dorm tonight?", Kongpop started to ask again, a weird question, though.
Arthit nodded.
"You don't have a class tomorrow morning?"
"I have one at 10.."
Arthit tried to smile a bit. Just to make sure that he could be happy at the same time. And it worked. He could feel himself happier, as he saw a smile on Kongpop's face too.
As Arthit thought before, he would make it come true. He would hug his boyfriend all night long, until he feel good enough in the next morning. As he opened his eyes again tomorrow, he would know for sure that the thing happen today, would be some little thing that came into their life, which is they passed it. It's not that easy to pass it, actually. But it took one more step to the next level of their love life.
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Author's note:
Guys, let me tell you this:
I'm soooo relieved to finish this chapter, 'cause I used all my feelings into it. I'm imagining myself if only Krist and Singto doing my scenes, I could cry..
*okay, I'm being too much now*
Well, during I wrote the part in the food court in this chapter, that song from Justin Bieber played. And it made this chapter felt real for me. Hope you feel the same way :D
So.. What's next?
Oh.. I forgot to bring Kongpop to Arthit's parents. It's gonna be another long journey until they found the very final chapter of their love life..
A little preview in the next chapter:
*****
Kongpop saw his boyfriend's face was full of happiness. He could see the brightest smile from Arthit while he's walking with his parents and take them to the stage.
"Dad, is that Fah? Arthit's mom..", his mom talked to his dad, as she noticed some familiar face.
"What is it, mom?", Kongpop asked.
"Kongpop, son.. Arthit's mom, I think I know her..."
*****
So, see you soon!!
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