“Give me therapy
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling on everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
and you can keep all your misery.”
Chapter Seventeen - “Therapy”
IMMI
Sitting on the lumpy mattress, I sighed in defeat. I wanted to go out there but at the same time, I didn't. They'd all lied.
I'd wanted to speak to Balt, I really did, it's just that every time I wanted to say something, I'd remember that he hadn't told me. Em... well, when she told me she couldn't tell me, that she physically couldn't, something inside me told me that she was telling the truth. I think that the only people who hadn't come to talk were Saria and the other woman, whose name I didn't know.
“Immi? You awake?” I heard Em call. Sliding off the mattress, I made my way to the door. Holding the handle, I contemplated letting her in but I didn't know if someone was with her. I wasn't in the mood to see Harmony. She'd already tried to coax me out, but I wasn't hearing her out.
Pulling the door open, I made a small gap and peered out. Em was there and she'd brought Balt. Gulping, I smiled slightly.
“Hi.” I whispered. Em grinned at me and Balt... well, he looked surprised to say the least.
“You going to let us in?” She asked, her voice showing hope. “Please? We'll tell you more about your past life... and Balt can tell us about what he is. Come on, Immi!” She begged.
Looking at them both, I nodded. I wanted to know more and it would be nice to have some company. Openning the door wider, I motioned for them to come in.
After Balt and Em walked in, I closed the door. I didn't want the whole lot of them coming in. As they sat down on the mattress, I made myself comfortable on the floor. I didn't mind – the floor was almost as comfortable as the lumpy mattress. It was completely silent, except for the muffled voices from downstairs. Apart from everyone trying to get through to me, the only noise I heard was them all arguing. I could tell from the raised voices and the... not so pleasant names.
“You look a mess.” Balt was the one who broke the silence. Patting down my hair, I shook my head at him.
“Thanks.” I was still a little unsure what to say to him. I didn't know if he was going to apologise or not. He hadn't so far. “So, Em,” I turned my attention to her, “what else are you going to tell me?”
Em had been the only one I'd interacted with whilst locking myself away. She'd told me what it was like being an angel and about how our home was. Heaven, she'd called it. Somehow, everything she told me sparked some form of recognition but I still didn't really remember anything. Not even telling me I was an angel brought on memories. The flashbacks had stopped too.
“Well... you know how I was telling you about us being angels? And how there are different species of things living on Earth?” Em said, I nodded. We'd talked, well she'd told me about it yesterday. It was extremely interesting and it made me want to learn more. “Do you remember that I said there were demons?”
“Yeah...” I answered, not knowing where she was going.
“Balt here, is a demon.” Hesitating, she watched me, looking for some sort of reaction. I just looked at her as if to say “carry on”. How was she expecting me to react? She hadn't exactly told me about demons, just mentioned them in passing.
“Okay.” I said, frowning as she didn't say anything else. “So, what does that mean?”
“He's... he's supposed to be an enemy.” I frowned even further. That didn't make sense! Balt had been nothing but nice to me!
“Really?” I chuckled, not believing her.
“Yeah but... he's helping us. Helping you.” She said. I turned to Balt, with a questioning look on my face. I didn't understand anything! All I knew was that I was supposed to be an angel, and most of these other people were and that I really liked Balt. That was all I knew so far. Well, beside the fact that I could see various colours coming out from people and a gold string attaching to Balt...
“Why? And what does being a demon even mean?” I asked, genuinely curious. He was supposed to be an enemy... right? And I don't think that meant he was supposed to be friends with me.
“There are some... personal reasons. And being a demon is kind of like being an angel, except you get to do a lot more.” He smiled at the last part, as if something were funny. I didn't get it.
“Like what?” I asked. I still didn't really know about being an angel. Everything was still a mystery to me.
“Angels can't commit sin.” Em told me. What was sin?
“What?”
“We can't do bad things. For instance... we can't kill anyone. Or hurt anyone.” Em explained. I nodded. Why would I want to hurt someone anyway? It sounded like a bad thing to do, and definitely not nice.
“Oh. So we can't do mean things?”
“That's one way of putting it.” Balt said, laughing slightly.
I nodded, before asking the one question which had burned through me. Since Em had told me about angels, she hadn't mentioned the one thing I wanted to know about: wings.
“Do you both have wings?” Both of them nodded. Curiosity ran through me again, as well as a feeling that I didn't like. I was eager to see if they looked like the same ones that were in Gustav's paintings but also... jealous (that was what my subconscious was telling me I was feeling) that they had them and I didn't. The feeling didn't sit right with me. Taking a deep breath, I asked, “Can I see them?”
They both looked at me with worried faces. I frowned. Were they not going to let me see them?
“What?”
“It's just that... Gustav said that it might make you go crazy. He said seeing them might be a bit of an overload.” Em looked scared – for me. Not for herself.
“How are you going to know if you don't try?” I tried to think of ways to get her to show me her wings. I wanted to see them. I needed to see them.
“Emily, if you're not gonna show her yours, I'm showing her mine. I don't see why you even listen to that idiot.” Balt told her. I felt happy that I was going to see a pair of wings!
“But Gustav said-”
“Gustav's a liar. He likes to have control. It's why he's a healer. He thinks of Immi as an experiment.” Balt growled at Em. The sides of my mouth tipped into an unhappy smile. I didn't like the way he spoke of Gustav.
“Don't speak about him like that. He's been good to me.” I defended Gustav. He had been good to me. Never treated me differently and he also took away the blinding pain in my back on the first day I met him! Balt's eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything.
“Immi, are you sure about this?” Em asked me. I nodded; I was completely sure.
“I've never been surer of anything in my life.” Maybe this would bring my memory back. It wouldn't hurt to try...
“Balt, maybe you should show her. I'll keep them all distracted – I know they'll probably make a noise.” Em told Balt before turning to me. “I just want you to know, your wings would be a different colour to Balt's.”
After she told me that, she walked out. Making sure she closed the door behind her. I smiled a small smile at Balt.
“You ready?” He asked, I nodded. A weird sensation was going through my stomach, it was almost like something was fluttering in my stomach.
Whilst Balt pulled off his t-shirt, I wondered what he was doing. I could feel something warm spread across my cheeks as I marvelled over his body – I liked his body. Ignoring the inappropriate thoughts running through my mind, I was still curious as to what he was doing.
I didn't even get a chance to ask because the next moment, he was standing up. Taking his hand, that he'd held out, I wondered what he was doing now. When was I going to see some wings?
“I'd take a few steps back if I were you. I don't want you to get hit.” Not questioning him, I took a few steps back. Excitement ran through me. I was finally going to see some wings! I was going to see what I used to have! What I would have!
His face took on a look of discomfort and he looked as if he were in pain. I heard cracking and popping noise. There was also a rather, disgusting slicing noise being heard. A few moments later, I saw some black feathery wings span out from behind him. They were absolutely beautiful and looked majestic. They were so large too! I felt a whoosh of air as he expanded and... stretched them out?
Taking a cautious step forward, I asked “Can I touch them?”
Guffawing, he nodded. “Of course you can. Why wouldn't you be allowed?” Making a funny face at him, I skipped over to him and gently stroked the feathers. They were soft but were smooth too. They felt like silk. Slowly dipping my fingers in the small gaps between the layers, I heard Balt moan. Shocked, I pulled away abruptly.
“Get any memories?” He rose his eyebrows. Either, he didn't realise what he'd just done or he didn't care. I think it was the latter.
“No.” I sighed dejectedly. I was sad that I hadn't got any memories but at the same time I was happy. Happy that I'd finally gotten to see some wings! “So, um, tell me... what's it like being a demon?”