Hi, people! I know it's been, like, months since last, and if I'm honest it's probably gonna be some time until next upload again. I've sort of lost my drive for this story, at least for now. I'm not saying I won't ever write this again, because I probably will, I just don't think I'll be uploading to Wattpad, even if I continue writing per hand.
Anyway, long story short, I'm putting this on hold so you all know there won't be coming another chapter for a while, and won't have to wait for it. Sorry, everyone, and I'll write when I'll write.
So here's the next chapter, enjoy!
xoxo
You don't know what obsession is...
Until you meet me.
Chapter 15
Lily's POV
Matt didn't show up at all that whole afternoon, neither at school nor at the mall where I worked. He was, however, at my house when I finally got home. I recognized his car immediately where it stood parked across the street.
He got out when he saw me, but I quickly rushed inside, slamming the front door shut in his face.
"Come on, Lily!" he called. "I just wanna talk. It'll only take a minute of your time." There was a short pause while he waited for my response, but when it never came, he shouted, "Open the damn door, Lily!" along with a long line of profanities. I remained silent.
I stood with my back pressed against the door with Matt on the other side, calling my name for at least fifteen minutes straight before he gave up and got back to his car, where he stayed.
Is he seriously planning on staying out there the whole night? I thought as I peeked out between the curtains of the living room window. My whole body was still shaking after the close encounter, and a few tears had found their way down my cheeks.
I slowly made my way up the stairs to my room. I badly needed to lie down for a bit.
"Lily?" I heard my mother's voice coming from her bedroom. "Is that you?"
"Yes", I called back, and sighed in relief. I'd forgotten it was her day off, and was glad that I wouldn't have to be alone in the house with Matt outside.
"How was school?"
"Uneventful", I replied and went into her room instead of my own, to find her on her stomach on the bed, reading the day's paper.
I crawled onto the bed, sighing heavily as I lay down beside her. Probably sensing something was wrong, mom looked up from the paper and asked, "What's wrong, sweetie?"
"Matt's outside", I offered after a moments hesitation. "He wants to 'talk', and he doesn't look like he'll be going away anytime soon."
I was startled to hear my voice sounding so exhausted and worn, like I was a hundred and eighteen instead of just eitghteen.
"He's where?" mom asked, suddenly furious. She was never good with forgiving, and I knew that she never would forgive Matt for hurting me like he did.
"In his car, across the street", I informed her. "Please don't do anything, mom."
Of course, she didn't listen to me, and secretly, I was glad: I wanted him gone. Even so, I still complained a little when she immediately got up from the bed and walked out of the room. A few seconds later, I could hear her thundering footsteps down the stairs, and then the front door slamming shut behind her.
I quickly got out of the bed as well, and went up to the window. Her bedroom had the view of the street instead of the backyard, as mine did. Of course I couldn't hear anything, but I watched as mom stormed across the street and up to Matt's car, banging her fist on the window to gain his attention. He jumped at the sight of her and rolled the window down. I could see how he tried to explain something over her yelling, but she wouldn't listen. Anyway, it all ended with him driving off.
Mom came back into the bedroom with a satisfied grin, pretending to dust off her hands.
"Well, now that's done and over with, at least."
I smiled.
"Thanks, mom", I said gratefully, and gave her a tight hug.
"You know you'll have to deal with him sooner or later, right?" she said, hugging me back.
"Yeah", I sighed, "but not right now."
We went downstairs together to eat dinner. Since neither of us felt like cooking, , I just took out some leftover lasagna from the freezer and put it in the microwave for a couple of minutes. We ate in silence.
"So", she said when both of us were done. "You're getting serious with Cain?"
I smiled nervously.
"I think so. I like him very much", I admitted.
"Well I'm glad, as long as he treats you right."
"He does, mom. He's great."
"Then I've got no problems with him staying over, if you guys use protection", she shrugged.
"Mom!" I exclaimed, blushing furiously.
"What?" she defended. "I'm just saying you should be careful. I know he's been here a lot, and spending several nights in your bed. Something is bound to happen, eventually anyway." Several nights? At least she didn't know all the details of my life - Cain spent almost every night in my bed nowadays, with very few exceptions.
"We are being careful, mom", I assured her, probably looking more like a beetroot than anything else while at it. I could talk about stuff like this with people my own age, nemo problemo, but with my mom it was just awkward.
"You do the dishes, mom, and I'll take out the trash."
She studied the pile of porcelain with a skeptical face and said:
"Well, it's time you learn then, isn't it? You'll have to do it by yourself every night when I'm gone. I'm eighteen, mom - I'll be off to college soon." I hope, anyway - I'll have to get in somewhere first. That reminds me - I'll have to do a little homework tonight, maybe look over the french verbs one last time, just to be sure. "I'll be right back", I added and went out the front door.
The night was quiet around me, except for the chirping of a few crickets hiding somewhere in the grass. The only light to go by were the dim ones of the streetlamps illuminating the road. (A\/N: wow - awkward sentence... )
I felt watched as I crossed the lawn, and hastened my steps. The eerie feeling I got reminded me of that night I'd walked home from Rose's, and the face of that creepy stranger came to mind. What was his name again? Troy? Trey? Trey! I shuddered and pulled the sleeves of my shirt from my elbows down to my wrists, as if trying to protect myself from a cold, non-existing wind.
I finally reached the trashcans out by the road and dumped the bag into it, wiping my hands on my jeans after I'd put the lid back on. Yuck. It smelled disgusting.
I nearly jogged back towards the house, and was half-way there when a heavy hand gripped my shoulder tightly. I jumped, letting out a terrified little shriek, which was cut short when I turned to find myself face to face with the Devil himself.
"Matt", I said in a cold, distant voice, signaling with all the body language I could muster, that I wanted to be anywhere but there at that moment. When he didn't move away, or let go of me, I sighed. Oh, well - he always was a bit slow to pick up hints. "What do you want?" I asked, pushing his hand off my shoulder.
"I want to talk to you", he said in a tight voice. "I just wanna explain-"
"Oh yeah?" I interrupted, suddenly furious. "Explain what, exactly?! How you- you slept with my best friend behind my back? Or maybe why it's taken you all this time to come to apologize?! Or why, during all this time - weeks and weeks - you haven't even been able to pick up the fucking phone?! Explain that, Matt!"
"OK, first of all", he said, now sounding angry as well, "I didn't come here to apologize!" Wait, what? Then what the hell was he doing here?! "We were drunk, and we made a mistake, OK?"
"What?! NO! It's not 'O-'"
"Second!" he continued, raising his voice, "the reason it's been so long is that you never told us where the fuck you were moving - except 'to California'", he said in a sarcastic tone, making quote-signs with his fingers, "-so it's been kind of hard to find you. And I didn't wanna talk to you over the phone after that, it seemed inappropriate." Inappropriate?! More so than not contacting me at all after sleeping with my best friend, only to show up seven weeks later, and not even apologizing?! "Thirdly - I came to take you back to New York with me." What? "You don't belong in California, Lily. You're an east-coast girl. Can you honestly tell me that you're not missing it at all?" I was stunned. Was he actually saying what I thought he was? Was he insane? He continued, not even noticing that I had stopped listening. "You're eighteen, Lily - you don't have to stay with your mom, and you can finish High School in New York with us."
That one brought me back.
"Us?" I asked, and he sighed, as if he thought I was retarded or something.
"Your friends, Lily. You know - the ones you bailed on to run away from life?"
"From life? I didn't run from life - I left my cheating bastard of a boyfriend to be with the only family I have. How, exactly, is that running from life?"
He sighed again.
"The point is - we miss you, and we want you to come back home."
"Oh yeah? And where are all these other so-called 'friends' claiming to miss me so much, huh?"
"They're in New York, of course. They have school." As did Matt, but I wasn't very surprised by him skipping. I was surprised, however, by the fact that he hadn't been expelled during our Junior year, since he'd skipped more than not when it came to school and classes. The only reason he'd ever showed was that most of his friends were there.
"Well, I won't go. I have my life here now, Matt, and I'm not giving it up. Especially not for you."
I turned to leave, but he stopped me by grabbing onto my shoulder again, turning me back around to face him.
"Can you honestly say that you feel nothing for me anymore?" he asked, starting to get really irritated and desperate now.
And the funny thing was, that I could. I didn't feel anything when I looked at Matt, except for resentment and anger, maybe. When I thought of affection, or kindness, it was Cain's face I pictured. When I thought of perfection, it was Cain. When I thought of love, I thought of Cain.
The sudden realization hit me like a bolt of thunder, coursing through my body in less than a heartbeat, then disappearing, and all that was left was the feeling of clarity. Of course it would be Cain. I loved him - of course I loved him, and I probably had done so for a long time without realizing it. It all just fit with him, it felt so right.
"Yes", I said to Matt, an enormous smile spreading itself across my face as I answered his question. "Yes. I can - I feel nothing!" I let out a relieved laugh, feeling better and happier than ever. "I feel nothing!" I repeated, having to hear myself say it for a second time. "I don't love you, Matt. Not at all. Not one bit - I don't even like you. I can honestly say that I-"
He kissed me. He kissed me, and it was nothing like the sweet kisses I remembered. This was forceful and possessive, it was angry and desperate. It hurt.
At first I was so shocked that I couldn't really do anything at all, but when I finally came back to my senses, I put all my strength behind the blow and pushed him away. He stumbled back a few steps, surprised by my actions, and I could see his eyes widen as I stormed toward him. The slap sounded like a gunshot through the silent night. I had never hit anyone that hard before in all my life, but damn - it felt good!
"You disgust me", I growled, glaring up at him. "I want you to leave now, and then in never wanna see you ever again, got it?!"
Then I turned and ran back inside so that he couldn't see my tears.
Where was Cain? He said he'd come tonight. Where was he?
Cain's POV
A lone tear ran down my cheek as I witnessed the scene in front of me. They were kissing. My Lily was kissing another guy. If it had been any other guy, I would probably have killed him since he was the one to take the first step, but she was smiling like she enjoyed it - she was happy. And I'd known all along that she loved him - ever since she told me about him. She loved him, and I couldn't kill him because that would mean hurting her. I couldn't even stand the thought of that.
But neither could I stand witnessing what was happening right before my eyes. I turned on my heels, slipping back into the shadows of the trees. I was shaking from sorrow. Heartbreaking sorrow. She did not want me. My world, my universe, my life - didn't want me anymore. Had she ever wanted me at all? This was what I had feared all along. It was just as well I hadn't told her about my werewolf traits, or she might have run screaming instead of sneaking off when she thought I wasn't watching.
Lily. My love, my life, my mate. How would I go on living without her?
The shaking got worse, and I could feel the transformation start taking place. Not really caring that much about my clothes at the moment, I left them on and gave myself to the wolf. On all fours, I then set off as fast as I could, relying on pure strength, reflexes and instincts. I was still me, it was just that as a wolf, I could usually shut off the human emotions and thoughts if I wanted, to be able to focus on the eventual fight or hunt. There was only one problem: my wolf felt the rejection of my mate as well, and just as strongly. Your mate was pretty much about the only thing we couldn't shut off as wolves, which, to be frank, sucked at the moment.
I ran the whole night, and didn't even think of returning home until the sun started to rise over the horizon, casting everything in a slight shade of pink.
------------------------
My mom was up, of course. She always rose early in the morning, because, as she said, it was the only time of the day there were any peace and quiet around the house. She was in the kitchen when I came in, still in my wolf-form.
"Cain?" she asked, surprised, and got to her feet. "Is everything OK?"
I wasn't surprised she'd asked - normally, I'd be at Lily's for several hours still - but I still ignored her and went past her up to my room. Well there, I shifted back and went straight into the shower in my en-suite bathroom.
Thoughts of Lily crashed over me in much the same manner as the hot water, only that they showered me with memories of her eyes, her laugh, her touch...
The idea of never getting to touch her again - never hold her in my arms, never spend hours just talking to her anymore, never get to kiss her sweet lips... It was killing me, but I would die for her happiness, because she was worth it all. Still, I could not stop my tears, and they ran from my eyes only to be washed away by the water of the shower.
How could she do this to me?