These violent delights have violent ends and in their triumph die like fire and powder as they kiss, consume.
- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
The moment Jared's lips came down on hers, all of Leah's misgiving shattered to a million pieces. They rained down through her body, ripping open senses that she'd never known existed. Her blood morphed to magma, scorching her veins, and she knew she'd drown in it if Jared let her.
At first his lips were soft, peppering butterfly kisses, and she curved into him, twinning her arms around his neck and pulling him against her. But it wasn't nearly enough. The gentleness was saturated with suspense, their remaining restraint slipping fast. Each kiss became deeper, more desperate, and Leah was vibrating with the pressure that built between their bodies.
Her hands came up and fisted in Jared's hair and he groaned somewhere deep in the back of his throat. Suddenly their kisses lost control. Jared pushed her back until she hit a tree and pressed into her. His tongue flickered along her lips and her mouth parted, allowing him to explore.
"We should stop," Jared whispered into her, the words barely audible and completely contradictory to the desperation with which he kissed her.
Leah didn't respond and instead ran her hands down his back, clawing at the fabric frantically. He grabbed her thighs, lifting her up so her legs wound around him. He was holding her like he wanted to consume her, pressing against her with a pressure that was almost painful. Leah's head lolled back and his kisses travelled down her throat.
"Leah, tell me to stop," he groaned, her rapid pulse thrumming against his lips.
But she wasn't listening. Jared felt safe and sinful this close and her head was full of forbidden thoughts. She wanted to lose herself in this. In him. She could feel the inevitable darkness hanging behind their kisses and she knew the moment they parted it would consume them. Jared nipped at her lower lip and Leah curved into him, her fingernails ranking down his stomach. Jared's grip on her thighs tightened momentarily and Leah moaned.
And then Jared wrenched himself away, the action so violent and sudden that Leah stumbled forwards, barely getting her feet underneath in time.
For a moment, they stood there, only a few inches from each other. Jared's cheeks were flushed, his lips swollen and his chest heaving.
"Shit," he muttered and jerked away, moving to the opposite end of the clearing and staring out at the ocean. Leah could feel the conflict radiating off him. It was deep and dark, like great rocks grinding against one another.
She swallowed and moved towards him slowly, uncertainly. When she was within arm's reach, she extended a hand and touched his shoulder.
Jared flinched away.
"Don't touch me," he snapped, his voice like a whiplash.
Leah had expected that reaction, but still had to fight down the hurt that ripped through her at his hostility.
"Jared—"
"We shouldn't have done that," he said stiffly. "Just forget it happened."
There was something about his words that made Leah want to start screaming, but she willed herself to stay calm.
"Why?" she asked.
Jared rounded on her, his lip curled up angrily, and Leah braced herself.
"This isn't normal, Leah," Jared snapped. "We're enemies. We're on different sides of a war."
"We don't have to be," Leah said softly, taking a step towards him.
Jared's eyes darkened and shifted between her and the horizon. "What do you mean?"
"I know you don't agree with what Brenton's doing," she said quickly. "Not completely at least. You could help us. You could help the S.I.S. You know what the rebels are doing is wrong, I know you do."
Jared laughed, though the sound held no humour. "You think the S.I.S would want my help?"
Leah blinked. "I think they'd —"
"I've killed people you love," Jared said dangerously, taking a step towards her. "I'm going to keep killing them. Nothing's going to change that."
"You could switch sides," Leah said. "You could come with me. We could escape."
"Grow up," Jared scoffed. "That family you're so excited to go running back too would murder me the moment they got the chance."
"I wouldn't let them," Leah said.
"You wouldn't have a choice!" Jared said. "God, you don't understand anything, do you? How could you? You can't remember any of it! I can't just join the S.I.S. I've spent my whole life despising them. They spurt all their pro-life shit, but they don't mean any of it. They kill innocent people, Leah! Rip them away from their families just for being married to the wrong person!"
Jared had started shouting half way through his tirade, his voice hoarse with anger and grief.
"You're talking about your mum, aren't you?" Leah asked.
Jared glared at her. "Your family killed her. If you think I'm going to join them, you're insane."
Leah almost laughed. "Is that what Brenton told you? That the S.I.S killed your mother?"
Jared blinked in surprise as he absorbed her words, but then his mouth curled into a snarl. "What are you implying?"
"I think you already know," Leah said. "Your father is cruel. Is it that hard to believe that he'd murder someone he loved?"
Jared's face contorted with anger, his fists clenched so hard the veins strained against skin.
"Stop talking," he said, his voice dangerously calm.
"Your mum went to get help from my family," Leah continued, her voice rising towards an anger that matched his. "Did you know Brenton was experimenting on himself? He split his soul. That's why part of him is in this world. She ran away from him! She realised how insane he and his plans were!"
"SHUT UP!" Jared screamed, stalking towards her. "JUST SHUT UP!"
Leah froze when their noses brushed and she realised the space between them had been eaten up by his anger. She didn't dare move as Jared's breath fell into her mouth again, as his eyes widened. But then he screwed them shut, muttering something unintelligible under his breath, and ripped himself away.
His features had contorted into a fascinating mixture of scorn and resentment, and something else Leah couldn't quite identify that made her breath clog her throat.
"Whatever you've remembered, you've remembered it wrong," Jared said stonily. "My father didn't kill her. The whole reason he wants people to move here is so no one will have to fear death. People won't have to worry about what will happen if someone they love dies. Families won't be separated anymore."
"But that's not —"
"Once we're back there, we're enemies," Jared snapped, his voice unforgiving. "You need to accept that."
Leah's mouth dropped open. His voice echoed like the slam of a heavy door around her skull.
"So that's it then?" she asked. "You're going to keep fighting for a radical who believes he can save the world by killing it?"
Jared scowled, his shoulders tense. "It's not that simple."
Leah looked away from him and spotted his bag a few steps from her. It was unzipped and the butt of his gun was visible.
"Let's make it simple, then," Leah said, and launched forward.
Jared exploded a second later and Leah's hand had barely closed around the gun before he crashed into her, tackling her to her ground. Before she could do anything, the metal was ripped from her grasp and she was pinned down, Jared straddling her waist and the barrel pressed against her forehead.
Leah froze and looked up at him. His eyes were flashing, his breathing heavy. His body pressed down against hers in grotesque parody of when they'd been kissing and her tears came without warning, burning tracks down her cheeks like the tails of dying comets.
"Come on then," she said, her voice cracked. "Kill me."
Jared's eyes widened and he looked down at the gun in his hands. His face crumpled in confusion.
"Leah —"
"KILL ME!"
Leah's palms shot out and shoved Jared in the chest. He let himself tumble off her and rolled to his feet, backing away quickly.
Leah pushed herself off the ground and stood, glaring at his blurred form.
"We're enemies, remember?" she screamed. "So, kill me! If it's going to be so easy for you, Jared, just do it. At least I get a chance to come back here."
"I don't want..." Jared started, his voice strained. "I don't want to kill you. You know I don't."
"But you're happy to kill the whole world!" Leah shouted. "Do you have any idea how hypocritical you are? You don't want to kill me, but you're happy to kill everyone else?"
For the first time since she'd met him, Jared appeared lost for words.
"You're a coward," Leah snarled. "You're just too scared to admit to yourself that you've been fighting for the wrong side. The fact you can't hurt me only proves that."
Jared stared at her, his eyes swimming. His face looked lopsided, like he was trying to keep himself together, even as everything slid out.
"I'm not going to join the S.I.S, Leah," he said shakily. "Ever."
And then he turned from her, walking away into the trees, as if desperate to escape her.
Leah wiped her tears from her eyes and moved over to her bag.
She needed to do it. Now.
Her hand felt heavy as it closed around the gun she'd kept hidden. The one Jared didn't know about. Slowly she raised it, zeroing it in on Jared's retreating back.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered.
And with vibrating hands and a lost heartbeat, Leah's finger pressed down on the trigger.