K A D E I
I laid awake in my bed all night, Fighting the feeling and my sleep who double teamed both my eyelids. For some odd reason i was upset, Upset at Benz.
I know we aren't a couple and feel absolutely nothing for each other but, That nigga should have been called. It's been three days what could possibly have you so held up.
The clock hit 2 before i realized this shit wasn't going to change. If he ain't call three days ago then he wasn't going to call now. Fuck it, I threw my cellphone on my dresser and closed my eyes.
It was only a matter of seconds before i exhaled drifting off when i heard a slight tap at my balcony window. My ass thinking it's the wind ignoring it only to hearing it again.
I flipped over seeing a shadow exposing from a figure standing on my balcony. I retrieved myself from my covers walking over trying to get a better look.
When i realized who it was i extended my hand out unlocking it walking away throwing my arms over my chest.
"So now you decide to show your face?"
I asked venomously.
"Look i ainn come here for all that"
I tilted my head looking at him like tf?
"Then why you here? I hope yo ass ain't think you was gone come over and fuck. I ain't heard from yo ass in three days, You know how worried ive been?"
I fumed pacing back and fourth.
Benz pulled me back against my will into a tight hug. I could hear his heartbeat, Two beats, Three beats, Two beats.. Matched mine.
I was so mad at him but being in his arms was such an addicting trap, I had no strength or intentions on prying myself away.
"I'm sorry alrigh? I got caught up and had to lay low."
I looked up at him still in his firm grip;
"You killed him didn't you?"
Benz wouldn't even look down at me, He just stood there. I knew he did it ion even know why I asked, He's very thug like but in his eyes i read so much more then that.
I found away to release myself from him climbing into my bed. I patted beside me pulling the covers back where he could lay, As mad as I wanted to say get your shit and leave i couldn't. Him being here next to me was everything.
He laid down behind me pulling me back onto him wrapping his arms around me. We laid in such a peaceful silence, I enjoyed this but i needed to know.
"Why?"
I stated briefly not knowing of another way to ask. He shifted a lil laying on his back resting his arm on his forehead.
"Being back in my hood once again, A nigga ainn been over that way since i graduated from high school. My hood used too be home i stayed right up the street, Had a lot of fucking memories over there too."
He started off ranting while i listened with full attention.
"Type of memories?"
"My first nut, First time gettin dome, First blunt, First fade, Hit my first lick, Shot my first gun, Almost died.. I was bad Asf being a thug was all i fucking knew."
"You proud of the fact that you where a thug?"
"In all actuality yeah, Shit made me who I am today. My moms moved us up outta the hood and all but, You can't hide where you came from. I'm comfortable with people knowing i had to struggle before I got to where i am now."
"Benz you drive a 2014 BMW truck, Every time i see you your laced in nothing but the finest gear. You even have the personality of a rich kid. I just don't understand how this shows anyone that you had a hard life."
He chuckled lightly moving his arm off his face.
"Being a thug ain't always by choice ma, Half these niggas that's thuggin to this day is cause of strugglin. I was 16 watching my mom balance two jobs, Bills, Food and us.."
Who would have thought Benz was the poor type? Nigga came off like he was rich and had every fucking thing. Now i felt bad for even wanting to have this conversation.
"One time a nigga rolled up on me clean and smooth with two not one but 2! pistols aimed straight for my head ready to blow whatever brains i had out."
He paused drifting off into space, I lightly shook him bringin him back to life.
"If it wasn't for my nigga Josh right around the way i woulda been dead on the set, You woulda thought i learned my lesson but i didnt."
"So what happened?" I asked eagerly
"Found out who held me up and got them niggas back"
"How do you do things like that? Take some one else's life? Those people have parents and friends and prolly families of there own"
"I make mistakes i'm human, It don't make the shit i say or do ok but life goes on. I've lost a lot of real friends so i learned to live with no remorse no regrets."
Listening to Benz talk hurt me, He was stubborn and bitter but true about himself. I would often think about how one another felt after taking someone's life, Even what they where feeling or thinking in the mist of doing it.
"Moms was always up every night tryna figure out where i was if i was ok was i coming home. I put my mom through a lot, No bullshit from fighting to coming home, or Going to jail.."
"Why you never stop then? If you knew it was hurting her"
"When i lost my best friend LOOSE i low key just lost my fucking mind, I watched him die right in front of me. Pig ass cops wouldn't even let us help him.."
"Josh was your BESTfriend"
I mentioned looking away. It was so sad i could never imagine myself with out Chaee and Lei, We've been friends since 8th grade. I've never been the type too get along with anyone and for some reason those tramps helped me see the better things in life. From going out to laying in bed together talking about nothing, Finding the craziest shit to be so damn funny.. I loved my bitches.
"I'm so sorry Benz, I really am."
"It's coo i've learned to live with it, Can't change what's happened. The life i live is dangerous it's never safe, That's why i agreed on finishing school for my mom. She was so Afraid of me ending up like Josh i had no choice but to grow up."
Everyone is always looking at thugs and gang bangers like the bad guy when there the victims. Benz lifted my chin with his index finger kissing my lips softly and whispered..
"I like you Kadei."
I blushed hard good thing it was dark and he couldn't see, Maybe i do like Benz maybe i like him a lot. He laid with me all night until it was time for him to go.
I begged like a puppy hoping he would give in, Instead he gave me a kiss and told me he would see me tonight so be ready.
I got up glady taking a quick shower, I dried off putting on some Black leggings a yellow USC college fitted round neck Tee for the girls. I added my black and yellow fours to my comfortable outfit and ran downstairs.
I left my hair curly wearing some Gold 80's earrings with a matching bracelet, Chain and watch. My dad and Landon where in the kitchen eating.
Landon pushed me softly out of the way opening the fridge. I elbowed him making him loose his breath,
"Damn girl"
"Keep your hands off me then jerk" I cheesed.
"You don't say anything when that fool be grabbing on you" My daddy marked.
Me and Landon looked in his direction like wth;
"Dad what are you talking about?" I shook my head.
"Now i'm stupid huh, You think i don't know about him and how he was here lastnight?"
"So what if he was here last night, You don't know anything about him."
"I know he isn't for you, Them punk ass lil niggas only want one thing.
I laughed opening my orange juice;
"And what's that? Sex? The same shit you wanted mom for?!"
"Kadei who the hell you talking to? I pay for yo ass and i don't want him in my damn house. He's no good i was young before to i know how they play"
"How about everybody stop tryna tell me what's best for me, You just came back a year ago and gone tryna tell me what to do ha! And i work to take care of me. When's the last time you did or bought something for me?!"
My dad stood up leaning over the table
"You heard what I said, Lemme find out you fucking around with him Kadei i'll snatch you and your smart ass mouth so fast up outta that school, This is my house i pay the bills you don't like it get the fuck out!"
I jumped up outta my seat
"I will! And since he's so wrong for me why the fuck you here with my mom? You ain't no better"
I raised my voice pointing my finger then storming out, I grabbed my purse and my keys slamming the front door behind me. Who is he to tell me anything, My dad hasn't been in my life in forever.
We don't even act or talking like a family, He dogged my mom cleaned out her bank account and disappeared but Benz is no good for me, Some logic this fool has.
Landon ran outside sitting in the passenger seat, He reached over turning the ignition off taking the keys.
"Now you know i'm not finna let you go anywhere when you like this"
I buried my face in my hands
"What is he talking bout? Who's this nigga?"
"It doesn't matter Landon, I'm just upset because dad is always in my business. He ainn say nothing when Antonio came and picked me up."
"It do matter i'm yo big brother i need to make sure your in safe hands, These fools out here ainn no joke"
"I'm in safe hands, Benz would never do anything to hurt me."
"Benz? Ahh Kadei i said start dating not one of them man."
"Why does everyone have so much to say about him? Y'all don't even know him man"
I exhaled shaking my head.
"Give me my keys i have class."
I shook my head leaning back on the seat.
"You damn right, He's no good i don't want you with him"
"All of you got some serious issues, Cause i'll be with whoever i wanna fucking be with."
"You my lil sis and i said no"
I let out a small laugh snatching my keys from him.
"Get out my car"
"You serious?"
"As a heart attack"
Landon shook his head at me getting out of my car, I started my engine and pulled off, He's the same one who said *Find some one, Go date for me* Now i'm interested in somebody it's a problem. I don't recall his stupid ass being specific on who I was allowed to be with.
-
I arrived at school parking in the students area, I looked too see if i spotted Benz car but unfortunately i didnt. I popped my trunk grabbing my folder and my purse walking too class.
I prayed too god hoping he would make this day last long. I never wanted to go back home i needed a break, And i wanted to be with Benz.
"Excuse me, Is your name Kadei?"
She asked standing with her girls.
"Who wants to know?" I asked.
"Margo."
I recognized her face from the drive in movie i went to with Benz. I smiled checking her an her friends out from head too toe.
"Wassup?"
"Bitch don't wassup me;"
"Bitch? A lil hostile arnt we" I kept my smile on my face.
"You heard me the last time i saw you i said would whoop your ass if i ever saw you again."
"Mm ainn that some shit"
I dropped my purse running up on her socking her dead in her mouth, We fell too the floor instantly.
"Bitch you gone beat my ass?"
I hollered punching her repeatedly, She had a very good grip on my hair. Her friends saw me getting the best of her so just like anybody else one jumped in punching me in my eye.
I let go or Margo and faught with her shoving her head into the ground, Then another one jumped in trying too hold me down.
Before I knew all of these bitches where hitting me and pulling my hair. One tried kneeing me in my face one tried kicking me but failed.
"Hey hey hey!"
The campus supervisor over pulling them off me. He helped me on to the cart bringing me to the deans office. My face was red my lip was bleeding plus the scratches i had on my neck because these bitches can't fight.
Whoever this Margo bitch was i was determined to know, And Benz knew exactly who she is so tonight i was gonna bring this bitch up. I wanted all those bitches heads and i wasn't gonna stop until I got just that.
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