You felt horrible. You felt bad. You felt anything but fine. You felt not good enough, fat. Insecure and sad.
And it all started since you turned twelve.
You never really had problems like these. You just went to school, had fun, since at that time you didn't receive any homework and your teacher wasn't the most serious person, and came home. Only to go outside to play with your friends.
This was your everyday cycle, nothing too bothersome.
You were also the fastest runner out of everyone. Even the boys. You could feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins every time you sprinted past them, feeling like Sonic.
You even participated with cross-fit for two years, one of the hardest things ever. You felt like dying and giving up every time you went out and got running. You didn't though, you had the most toughest of natures.
That was your motto for a loooong time. 'Do not give up, no matter what.'
Even that had changed.
You also fell in love once. And you didn't ask for it, heck, you didn't even want it.
It started out as a crush that was barely there, you thought about telling it to your friends. Since you trusted them.
But no, they had to go and tell more people, breaking your trust. And the weird thing? Still, to this day, you trust way too easily, again and again.
Those people were the reason for the beginning of your first and worst relationship.
He had taken your first kiss, making you feel as if you were a disappointment.
But you didn't even wanted to do that. It was all against your will. Your 'friends' had pushed both of you to it. That was also how you fell 'in love' with him. You were overly happy everyday.
Until you parted ways going to different schools.
He didn't want to understand the fact that you had tons of homework. How could he? He didn't receive any. And the fact that he kept asking you to go outside in the evening... why couldn't he understand?
So, you ended it.
And it was the best thing you had done for yourself.
The years after this you started developing anxiety and an eating disorder.
You saw pictures of your chubby self from when you were little and it had a great impact on you. You started looking in the mirror every day before you dressed yourself. You started eating extremely healthy and worked out. But of course you worked out in periods, you could never hold out doing it the whole year straight.
You also wanted to drastically change the way you clothed yourself. You always wore a T, jeans and sneakers. You needed to be more girly.
You also saw your ex everyday on your way to school, resulting in you always being aware of other people and what they thought about you.
It was starting to get bad.
And then slowly but surely, loneliness started seeping in.
You had a lot of friends, alright, but they didn't give you what you needed. But what did you need exactly?
You wanted someone to hold you at your worst days, to whisper soothing words to you whenever you started getting crazy about yourself again. To love you, and make you feel good about yourself.
Was there someone like that?
And if there was... then why would they choose you to begin with? There were so many prettier girls then you out there, why would you stand out?
When would this loneliness stop?
Various people have told you that if you can't love yourself, no one can. And that scared you. Because how many times or how hard you tried, you couldn't. You didn't feel comfortable with yourself unless you were laying in your own bed with your fluffy blanket covering you.
But little did you know... your loneliness was about to end. Things were going to take a drastic turn for the better or for the worse.
You had chosen to go to a night school, you felt as if you were exposed less, even though it wasn't true.
While you were going through these tough times, you had caught someone's eye. Particularly a male. And not only a male, but a vampire also.
And to top it all, he was a celebrity.
Kou Mukami, was his name.
He was always watching you. When you were walking down the halls, he was always there, enclosed by fan girls.
Did you know him? Of course you did, he was a celebrity after all. And not only that, he was one of the Mukami's. Everyone knew the Mukami and Sakamaki brothers.
He knew you had problems with yourself. He saw you always holding yourself in not to eat in the lunch breaks, and when you failed and ate regret was visible on your face.
When you were talking and laughing with your friends you forgot about it, but as soon as they left you felt horrible again. And Kou noticed. However, this was not all he noticed.
He also noticed everything you didn't.
Your beautiful self, with your warm and kind heart, your hypnotizing eyes, your beautiful skin with here and there some imperfections, seemingly begging him to be pierced through. Your soft looking lips that said way less then your heart desired. Your heart beat that got faster when you hurried to class. Your body as well as your soul was everything. Just how exactly was it possible for you to be unhappy with yourself?
It started out as a tiny crush, over the months slowly growing every time he observed you. It grew to the point were he was obsessed.
It was very bad for a human to have a vampire obsess over you.
But was it really?
Possessiveness started seeping through his actions, his brothers noticed. When you were chatting and laughing with others he had a hard time containing himself not to jump and beat the living crap out of them.
He had been following you home for a long time now, and he noticed you were starting to reach your peek. He was not going to allow the girl he loved to get to that state.
But wouldn't he just hurt you more with his sadistic ways? Won't he as he is make it even worse? Should he approach you calm and collected? But that's way out of character for him.
Whatever he did, he was going to catch his princess and keep her to himself.
***
As you walked into gym class you immediatly noticed a group of girls standing around someone. It was Kou. Why was he here? He wasn't in your class, so what's the reason?
Kou raised his head to look at you as he felt your stare. Just as he was about to send you a wink you swiftly averted your eyes, making him a bit dissapointed.
The teacher blowed on his wistle, signaling for you to stand in line. You never bothered to stand beside your friends since that was too much of a hassle and could take up more time then needed, so you just stood somewhere at the edge.
Once you found your place you looked left and right to see who were beside you. On your left stood a girl whom you barely talked to and on your right stood, sure enough, Kou. Before he could start a conversation with you the teacher spoke up.
''Welcome, everyone. Today I want to play basketball with you.'' You could hear a few groanes here and there. ''Now, now, I would have liked to do something else as well, but we are playing against the other classes in three weeks, and I want my class to win of course. So suck it up.'' He smiled as he heard some sigh.
''Before we start warming up I want to notice you guys that we have another student joining us. He has to take part because he needs to catch up his missed classes. Ready or not, start with running five times around the gym. Mark, you mark the start of the line.'' And he blew on his whistle again.
After the warming up you had to pare up in groups of two or three. And again, you were left out with a shrug of your friends. You looked around to see if someone else was free and saw Kou walking towards you ignoring all the fangirls.
How did you feel in this moment? Your heart skipped a beat, out of shock of course, since this never happened to you before. As soon as he reached you, which was pretty soon, he draped an arm over your shoulder.
''Sorry, ladies, my heart got pulled by this cutie,'' he said while grinning at you. You looked back at the girls whom started whining a bit and pairing up.
You grabbed a basketball and started passing the ball with him. You didn't dare look at him as you did. Then in the middle of practicing the bounce-pass your stomach decided to let out a war cry, which was weird, considering you ate a muesli bar before gym class.
Kou looked at you dissatisfied as he heard your stomach through all the bouncing. You just smiled apologetically, ''Sorry?''
''You know, I was planning to ask you to go out and have lunch, maybe even dinner with me tomorrow, but I'm giving you no choice now.''
You felt your cheeks warm up just a tad bit. ''I'm not available tomorrow,'' you excused yourself.
He of course knew your schedule, and he knew you were absolutely free tomorrow since it was friday.
Just then a growl could be heard again, even louder then the one before causing Kou to look at you coldy. ''As I said, I'm giving you no choice.''
***
As soon as you got home you changed out of your uniform into more comfortable clothes. You prepared some tea and checked your phone, only to see that you had messages from Kou.
Kou M: [Hello, there, Neko-chan!]
Kou M: [It's me, your prince ;)]
Kou M: [Ah, I'm cringing at my own words. Sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable]
Kou M: [Are you home yet? I need attention!]
Kou M: [Or- no, nevermind. Ignore I ever send you a message asking you for attention!]
Kou M: [Ne, (Y/N), you aren't ignoring me, right?]
Kou M: [PlEaSe don't;;]
You smiled to yourself as you read the notifications and opened the chat.
[No, I am not ignoring you, Kou. I came home just now] :(Y/N)
Kou M: [Oh, good! So are you a sweets person or salty?]
[Kinda random, but I like (salty/sweet)] :(Y/N)
Kou M: [I knew it. I know a place to eat tomorrow that you'll enjoy for sure]
Kou M: [I would be an amazing lover, being mindfull and all, wouldn't I?]
[Wow] :(Y/N)
Kou M: [?]
You sighed. Of course you knew he was hitting at you, who wouldn't figure that out after that question. But he shouldn't even begin, you thought, I am not worth his effort. And yet, you couldn't help but feel a spark of happiness.
[How do you relate being mindfull and knowing a place to eat? :(Y/N)
[Nevermind that, but, what's up with calling me Neko-chan?] :(Y/N)
Kou M: [I think it suits you]
Kou M: [Ah, Ruki is summoning me, gotta go. I'll send you the details later today, and we're gonna hang out the whole day. Bye! <3]
[Summoning? Interesting choice of words. See ya] :(Y/N)
Even though part of you didn't want to leave the house, you were also getting excited. Eating freely and having company, why not?
***
Yes, yes I know, this sucked. I seriously have to stop making the intro's so long, but I can't help it! It helps getting me in the mood;; I had to put a stop to caught, since it became waaaaay too long. BUT, this means part 2 will not have an intro and it'll be full action (not that kind of action fufufu). I'll try my best to write and publish part 2 this weekend!
Thanks for taking the time to read my one shots.