My night was filled with restless sleep and unimaginable nightmares. Humans—vile humans hunted us through the forest, hunted the ones I had come to love. As they closed in on us, surrounding us in a circle of iron armor and clanking swords, I tried to reason with them, explaining to the humans that we were very much alike and could live amongst each other, peacefully. I woke drenched in sweat just as an iron arrow pierced through Elric's heart. A dream—it was only a dream, I told myself as I wrenched what little food was left in my body into the porcelain toilet. I spent the better part of twilight in that bathroom, the coolness of the stone floor my only solace. I crawled back to the bed around dawn.
The next time I awoke it was to the feeling of a warm, caressing hand grazing my cheek. My heavy eyelids blinked, trying to focus on the image in front of me. At first, I thought I was still in a dream as Elric's face appeared before me. His beautiful face, though angelic, was marred by some unreadable and impassive look. His eyes were sullen and I could tell that he had been crying.
He knew.
He knew the terrible news that haunted my sleep. Raban was dead. The words were so permanent, so eternal that they hardly seemed possible. But it was possible. The immortal, the undead, could die and this time it would be everlasting—this time, there would be no coming back.
Elric leaned over to kiss me and buried his face into my chest. Silent sobs vibrated my body as I wrapped my arms around him, his warm tears dropping onto my skin. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours, only rising after the sun pierced through the curtains, shining down onto the headboard. Once Jasmine had left after bringing our breakfast, or rather lunch since it was past noon, Elric turned to me.
"What happened?" he asked gently, not accusing or judgmental, just curious.
I took a deep breath. I had relived last night over and over in my head, trying to piece together what happened, who did this, and each time I came up with the same answer: the humans.
"We—Nikolai, Rab—Raban and I went out yesterday," I began. "T-To check on a few of the villages and go to the meadow. We thought it would be fun, a chance to get out of the castle. An Elf found us and told Nikolai that the front lines had been breached. He ordered Raban to take me home, and on our way...the arrows...the arrows came out of nowhere." I choked on those final words, and Elric grabbed me in his arms, my tears flowing as he pulled me to his chest. "I tried to save him—I-I tried to keep him alive," I sobbed. Elric stroked my hair as he tried to calm me down. "It's all my fault. It's all my fault."
Elric pulled my face away from his chest. "Now you listen to me," he said, holding my chin in his hands. "This was not your fault."
"Isn't it?" I replied, peeling my face from his hands. "Aren't I spawned from the very thing that is causing you this pain, causing all of you this pain?"
"His actions are not your own," Elric said. He recoiled as his words came out harsher than he meant them too. He took a breath and composed himself before speaking again. "It's your intentions and actions that define you, not your birthright. You are nothing like Constant." His voice was gentler, soothing now.
But whether or not he blamed me for Raban's death didn't matter because I blamed me. I wasted the rest of the day away in the bed. Jasmine was my only visitor besides Elric, and with little appetite, she'd peek her head in from time to time to see a still uneaten tray of food before retreating. I was thankful that she didn't linger.
Elric stayed gone most of the day, occupied with council meetings and planning Raban's funeral arrangements. I'm sure he preferred the engagements, no matter how tedious and morbid they were, to the constant questions his subjects hurled at him any time he walked into the courtyard, questions he had no answers to.
The attack on the Nagatook colony had been unfounded. Elric believed it was a false message sent by Constant to get him away from the borders before the attack, but he couldn't prove it, not that it would make a difference if he could. And now, with Raban gone, the Ruffian forces were that much weaker.
It was almost midnight when Elric came to bed. He slid under the sheets behind me, his warm, naked body pressing to mine. And though his day had been tiresome, he still managed to nuzzle my neck and place a gentle kiss on my cheek.
"Have I told you how much I love you today?" he whispered.
"No," I said breathlessly, turning my body so that I faced him.
"Well, I will." His usual rhetoric to remind me that we had more time together, that there'd always be another opportunity to say those words.
I kissed him slowly, passionately as a quiet smirk tugged on the corners of his lips. His strong arms pushed me backwards, pinning my arms to the bed, the weight of his body crushing yet arousing. His legs were between mine, spreading them, exposing myself to him and with a swift thrust, he entered me. I gasped at the brutal impact of his length. He was rougher than usual, commanding my body to his will.
But he needed this.
And I would give him that. He took a staggered breath when he found his release and collapsed on top of me. We fell asleep in each other's arms as the moon made another pass around the earth.
v
All Hallow's Eve came as any other day. Only it wasn't like any other day. The year was 1663 and I had been trapped in the past for exactly one year, living in a magical castle while a war waged on between the humans and the Mystics—a battle between good and evil, and both sides believed they were one and their opponent was the other.
I looked down onto the courtyard from Elric's balcony. The preparations for Raban's funeral had been made and that afternoon his body would be returned to the earth, his spirit already reunited with the Elder. All Revenants had met the creator, a blessing and a curse from having passed from one world to the other. But it wasn't until their bodies were returned to the earth that they were considered truly released from their worldly bonds.
A large wooden platform was erected in the short grass just outside the castle walls. A pyre, as I learned it was called, and in that instance, the moniker that donned Elric's black steed made absolute sense—death and fire, a dais of death and fire. The stage of timber and brush was much like the one I'd seen after King Turin died, but smaller more intimate—not the grandiose structure that had been made for the king.
Swords, battle leathers, bronze vases and varying types of clay pottery were placed around what would be Raban's final resting place—the items representing his status and profession in this world. Something in my stomach wrenched at the thought of my own mother's final resting place, a tiny coffin six feet under a poorly fertilized dirt mound. I hadn't been able to bring myself to return to her grave after we buried her. There was something morbidly repulsive about idolizing a headstone.
I took a long sip from my tea as I pushed the thought out of my head. One Feather was eyeing me curiously. The ravens had been hovering closely since Raban's attack, no doubt sensing some unseen danger or threat. Most of the unkindness had taken refuge in the twisted beech trees in the courtyard, only getting run off every now and then by Miss Kit when she entered the market for vegetables and starches for the day's meals. But One Feather preferred her perch to be much closer, opting to stay on the balcony.
I handed her a small piece of bread, and she hopped over towards my hand to peck at it.
"Good morning, pretty girl," I cooed.
She squawked back at me and I smiled, understanding her reply. A quiet movement from behind the curtain made One Feather flinch and she quickly flew off, rejoining the conspiracy of ravens below. Elric stepped around the corner with a solemn look on his face.
"Are you ready?" His words were low and barely audible.
"Yes," I replied, my tone matching the melancholy feeling that the overcast day exuded.
He held out his hand and I placed mine in his. He looked sharp in all black except for the large gold crown that adorned his head. It wasn't a far cry from how he normally dressed, but there was something different about him today. Maybe it was the sorrow in his eyes, or the way his head tilted slightly down as he walked.
I was also dressed in black. It seemed only fitting for the raven-haired warrior. My long Victorian dress was reminiscent of something Marie Antoinette would have worn—long, lacy sleeves with ruffles at the end, a corset-style bodice that exposed my cleavage, and a loose hood that covered my hair. When I stepped out of the dressing chest, I didn't have the energy or desire to concentrate on another outfit so I simply sat down and ate my lunch, which thankfully enough did not consist of cake.
As we made our way into the courtyard, Elric's hand tightened around my waist. Nikolai flanked my left side as our feet touched the cobblestone, grasping my hand quickly before releasing it again. The action made me turn my head towards him, but he stared straight ahead, stoic and unreadable as we walked through the gate towards the pyre.
A small stage was set off to the side, a crowd having gathered around it. Two golden chairs with red cushions sat in the middle of the stage, and Elric held my hand as I stepped onto it, taking my seat next to him on the left. The crowd was quiet, and I wondered if silence had ever been so loud.
I stole a glance at Elric.
His eyes were fixed on the procession heading towards us. I followed his gaze to see six Mystics carrying a sled with Raban's mummified corpse on it. I was grateful that I couldn't see his face. It was deliberate, almost religious, the delicate nature in which they placed the body on top of the pyre, arranging his swords on either side, and then one by one, they leaned over, laying different colored gemstones aligned down his chest. I wasn't sure of the significance of the stones so I made a note to myself to ask Magda later.
A quiet cluck in my ear turned my attention, and I found One Feather perched just over my shoulder on the back of the chair. I looked up to see that the rest of the unkindness of ravens had moved to the walls of the courtyard, peering over to witness the ceremony—the black winged messengers of the universe, conspiring. A sense of calm came over me.
Elric rose and a young boy handed him a torch. He walked over to the pyre and paused for a moment. But there was no eulogy or spoken tribute for the fallen warrior, only a brief moment of hesitation as the king of magical beings looked towards the sky. He leaned over and touched the torch to the wooden platform, before turning and walking back towards me, his mouth fixed in a hard line. His facial expression was unreadable and his blue eyes stared straight ahead with no feeling or emotion to be found, save for a quick clasp of my hand as he took his seat.
The rest of the ceremony was rather uneventful as we watched the pyre burn, and all manner of magical beings came forth to bid their condolences to Elric. I sat quietly by his side, trying my best not to make eye contact with the passersby. The offering of commiserations was never a comfortable exchange for me so I kept my eyes trained on the fire. Nikolai and Leo were the last through the line, though Nikolai merely nodded his head at Elric and squeezed my hand again before stalking back towards the castle gates.
"My condolences, milord," Leo said as he bowed at the waist. "I know that you were fond of Raban." He stole a look at me. "We're just so grateful nothing happened to Miss Abigail. Those humans would love nothing more than to get their hands on those that you hold dearest." I smiled a half-hearted smile and turned back toward the now smoldering flames. The ravens were stirring now, anxious, cautious.
Elric squeezed my hand and said, "Thank you, uncle."
"Shall we discuss our next move later?" he added.
Elric nodded and Leo limped away with his serpentine staff in his hand.
"Your next move?" I questioned. I hadn't realized there was one other than securing the borders.
Elric raised his hand to my cheek. "You don't need to concern yourself with it," he said gently.
"But if you're involved then...then I do," I rebutted.
"Everything will be alright. You'll see." And that was the end of the conversation—not because Elric wouldn't have continued on, but because I knew he wouldn't really tell me anything.
As the last of the onlookers left, Elric and I walked back towards the castle. The clouds were still lingering above, casting a depressing mood on the valley as we entered the castle doors. Elric led me upstairs to his bedroom where I wasted away the rest of the unfortunate afternoon.
v
When I awoke, the mood outside had not changed much with the setting of the sun. There was still a disheartening gloom that remained, and I worried that it would tarnish the skyline for many days to come.
Elric was not in the bed where I had left him when I drifted off to sleep. He must have snuck out shortly after I entered the Sandman's lair. My bones were achy as I rose from the bed, but I managed to limp my way over to the dressing chest.
The halls were quiet, only occupied by the occasional guard here and there standing watch. I knew Elric would be in the study, roving over mounds of paperwork that needed his attention, so I quietly tiptoed down the stairs towards the mahogany-filled room on the east wing.
The door was slightly ajar and I could hear voices coming from within.
"We need to take care of this...this human problem...now, sire," Leo said, the venom from that particular word oozing out of his mouth.
"I'd have to agree with your uncle on this," Nikolai chimed in. "The Ruffians are chomping at the bit for retribution."
I could see Elric sitting in the large winged-back chair behind the solid cherry desk that sat in the middle of the room. His face was stoic as Leo and Nikolai made their case.
"What if that arrow had found your mate's heart? Where would we be then?" Leo persisted.
A combination of rage and horror replaced the stoic stare Elric had on his face. I could see his hands grip the arms of his chair, shredding the fabric. Nikolai attempted to calm him as he elaborated on what Leo had said.
"I think what your uncle is trying to say...is that her life is at risk. All of ours are. And if we don't do something about it...well." He didn't finish his comment. There was no need to.
Elric still hadn't said a word, and he sat there for several more minutes before he did. Finally, he took a deep breath and sighed as he let it out again.
"I'll consider it. I have some things to think over, but I'll consider it."
"What?!" I said, incredulously as I pushed open the door.
"Abigail," he breathed.
"Don't you Abigail me," I said as I stomped towards his desk.
Nikolai and Leo couldn't have left any faster, almost tripping over themselves as they scurried out the door. They closed it behind them sending a gust of air through the room.
"What do you mean you'll consider taking action?" I said again, once we were alone.
"Exactly that...that I will consider it," he retorted. His curt tone sent a chill up my spine, and I wondered how scared his adversaries must feel in his presence when I was his lover and he still had the ability to make me feel small. After a moment of silence, he composed himself and said, "I will do everything in my power to not hurt any innocents. My plan is to travel to the human village tomorrow and speak with Constant." My breath hitched. "If I can talk to him and come to some sort of understanding..." his words trailed off.
"But—," I began.
Elric stood from his seat and quickly made his way around the desk, wrapping me in his arms. "I'm just going to talk," he said. "Promise."
There was no sense in arguing. Neither one of us would give in this evening. So Elric led me upstairs and with heartbreaking gentleness, he laid me on the bed and made sweet love to me. When we both found our release, I fought back a tear as the emotion of the day's events took hold of me. We laid there, his body half on mine with his sculpted arm draped over me, for what seemed like hours. When the moon had finally reached its peak, Elric—still half asleep—rolled his body over to one side of the bed.
I kissed his cheek gently, and quietly, very quietly, slipped out of the room and down the hall into my old sleeping quarters. I couldn't allow Elric to risk his life by speaking to Constant. He was a wicked, wicked man, and he would just as likely kill Elric as he would speak to him.
No, the only way that this would end would be for me to talk with Constant, to convince him that I had seen the future just as he once had. But that it had a different ending, one that was dependent upon the survival of the Mystics.
After stepping out of the dressing chest in jeans and a flannel shirt, I grabbed the journal and headed out the castle doors. The night air was chilly but the sky was clear, having pushed out the clouds from earlier to make way for the stars. As I made my way across the meadow, I looked back at the castle, hoping and praying that I would see its walls again. But this...this was honorable and worthy of my sacrifice—to save my mate and his people, that was a decent and proper thing to do.
And I smiled at the thought as the lights of the village pierced the horizon.