All the Wicked Things

Chapter 15

It was nearly midnight when Elric returned. I'd never seen him so stressed and confused. I kept to myself, though, trying to give him the space he needed. I knew he was between a rock and a hard place, and I did not envy the responsibilities that rested on his shoulders.

The next morning Elric rose early and headed off to the village to assess the wreckage. I offered to join him, but he quickly dismissed my proposal with a stern 'no' before walking out the door. I knew he was worried about my safety so I didn't protest.

After breakfast, I spent most of my morning in the courtyard, talking with the vendors in the marketplace. News had spread of the village massacre and tensions ran high as the fate of their lands rested on Elric's shoulders. I knew the looks that some had given me—the curiosity of whether Elric would pick me over them—and it wrecked my soul as I pondered the same question.

The marketplace was bustling, though it was quieter, more solemn that it normally was. The bread maker had several loaves of wheat and rye bread sitting out on a cooling rack. He forced a smile as I gave him two coins for a loaf he tucked in my basket. A young Wood Nymph selling her mushrooms and dandelions turned her eyes from me to her table as I approached. Without saying a word, she handed me a bundle of mushrooms and took my coin. I smiled at her, though her eyes had turned back to the table again.

I found Magda in her usual spot, and the sight of her warmed my heart. Though most of the magical beings had gone above and beyond to make me feel welcomed, I still felt like an outsider most days. And maybe I would always feel that way, but with Magda—at least with Magda, I felt a certain peace, a certain comfort that she, too, knew what it was like to not fit in.

"Good morning, my dear," she crooned, not looking up from the potion she was concocting in a large, black cauldron sitting over an open flame.

"Good morning, Magda," I replied.

"Why so glum?"

I tried to force a half-hearted smile on my face and said, "It's nothing." It wasn't a complete lie. There was nothing that could be done so therefore, it was nothing—I was human and Elric wasn't. Not much would change that. Not even one of Magda's world famous potions.

Magda just nodded. I knew the look on her face meant that she saw my betrayal, and whether it was a little white lie or not didn't matter, only that I was keeping secrets. My eyes flashed back to her brew.

"What are you making?" I inquired, hoping that my diversion wasn't completely obvious.

She gave me a wry look as though it was then stirred the pot with a large, wooden spoon, occasionally making a lazy figure eight in the liquid. "It's called Amor in Absentia—love in the absence of. It is a potion for those that have heard their mate's name spoken and cannot bear to live with the pain. It helps them forget, at least for a while."

I swallowed a hard lump in my throat at the thought. "Did—did Elric ever ask for the potion?"

Magda was the only other being who remembered the darkness before I had arrived. She knew, better than anyone, the pain Elric suffered during those years, and they shared a unique bond because of it. I'd asked her before what the devastation was like—living in constant darkness, but she'd always answer the same way saying that somethings were better left unsaid. She feared speaking of them might give them life.

"No," she replied. And a part of my heart ached for the pain he had endured. "He said that the pain was a reminder for him that you were still out there, and that no matter how much it hurt to be apart from you...he knew it would be worth it in the end." She gave me a smile that met her eyes. "We all knew you would be worth it in the end."