Listen to Confidently Lost by Sabrina Claudio
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Chapter 14
"Ian?" I questioned audibly my eyebrows raised.
"After all we've been through, that's all I get?" I asked again curious to know more about him.
He chortled. "A name is a very personal thing...Shay," he exaggerated my name.
"See?" He gazed forward again knowing he'd made his point. His chestnut hair that was tied in a man bun whipped up and down. I tried so hard to resist the urge to touch it.
Okay. Sometimes when I zone out I tend to overstep other people's personal space so when I came back to planet earth I was rolling his silky hair around my finger. "Oh shucks. Sorry, you probably have to get use to me doing weird things like that," I slouched back down looking out the window embarrassed as ever.
"I use conditioner by the way, you should try it some time,"He glanced towards me laughing again.
"Oh shut up," I teased back patting down my frizzy hair. "So um...what did Ryder mean by you being the prodigal son?"
"I didn't realise I was being interviewed for the school paper."
"How'd you know I-" turning to face him again.
"Was the chief editor? I read your article last week, it was really something but before you say I'm trying to change the topic, I'll answer your question."
Sitting up straighter I leaned my elbow against the dashboard smiling up at him. "Well go ahead."
"So Nancy Drew, my family is kind of screwed up. My dad married Ryder's mom about 5 years ago and since then I chose to stay with mine. But Ryder's grandparents the value of family was important so they always tried to include me in everything, they made me feel like I was apart of the family. I don't mean to brag, but I was always at the top of my class,receiving numerous scholarships for sports,I knew what I wanted in life and everyone was proud of me. Whereas Ryder was always floating in his bubble of troubles. And everyone just thought of him as a disappointment. That's kind of the reason why we don't get along much. But Ryder though,his life before we met ....let's just say it was a much worse scenario than mine. Which is why he is the way he is I guess-"
"How could it have possibly been worse than your parents separating?" I interrupted.
"Look Shay, it's not my story to tell. But just a heads up, he's been through alotta rough times and he's someone you wouldn't wanna associate yourself with." He pulled into my street easily.
"Trust me. I have no intention of doing so," I replied but was still curious so I needed to shoot more questions before our trip ended.
"I don't mean to be rude or anything but-"
"Why'd our whole blended messed up family pack up and leave our lavish lives to come settle down in a quiet little town?" He finished my sentence.
"Pretty much."
"There's no way of getting out of this question either right?"
I shook my head tapping my fingers on the dashboard waiting expectantly.
Instead of stopping at the curb he parked inside the empty driveway since the gate was open. "Um, let's just say it was a request from certain people that are important to Ryder and I." Getting out he opened the car door before I could.
"Thanks," I took his hand as if I were Cinderella stepping out of her carriage. Walking me to the door he continued. "My mom stayed back in Florida. So I'm living with some family and my step cousin Amber, you might know her. But the only real joy I look forward to is meeting up with my half sisters next door. They're adorable, the only pure thing that came out of this family really. Well, besides me," he joked.
"So who exactly are-" he interrupted me once more by laying his hand over my non stop yapping mouth.
Removing it, I laughed. "Sorry for making use of my mouth," I replied sarcastically.
Ryder would've definitely made an innuendo out of that reply.
"It's fine. I just wanted to suggest if you'd like to continue this conversation, another day, when we aren't on the porch of your house," he replied scratching the back of his head.
Gasping I fake surprised. "Ian are you hinting something?"
"Technically, you did ask for my name and number. I mean,I respect that you wanna get to know me so I get if you wanna take this slow or not want to at all," he looked back down at his shoes as if he was nervous to say what he really wanted to.
He was so chivalrous and kind. I realized that he was the total opposite of his brother. On normal circumstances I wouldn't give any other guy a chance unless it was an arranged date by my parents that I was forced into. But Ian seemed gentle and sweet so I couldn't help but agree.
Risk#8 Score Myself a Date.
"Next week Friday around 7. I'm not big on flowers if you were thinking of bringing them. Not that you have to!" I rushed out while he stared amusedly.
"Just don't be late,alright Casanova?" I covered my flushed face with my hands.
"I've been on dates before and not once has a girl ever asked to have no flowers."
"Okay, now you're just getting cocky," I stepped into the house with the door still ajar as we both leaned on it just staring for a few seconds.
After exchanging numbers he drove off while I tried to remain calm at the fact that I had successfully acted mature in front of a guy.
Shut the front door. Shay the Wannabe Badass actually has some skills in the department of scoring a date. Closing the door I managed to piece together all the pieces of the puzzle. Except for the grudge my parents held against Ryder's father sir name. Or maybe it was just a family member of theirs. Whatever the reason I needed to figure it out quickly before another unexpected acquaintance. All I did know was that Ian and I were quite alike and I was glad at least one good thing came out of this maniacal day.
Doing my happy dance in the foyer, something felt oddly different. The house was eerie. Maybe it was because I couldn't hear Franny humming or the aroma of something fresh out of the oven while she greets me at the door. Shouting Morgan's name was hopeless because he wouldn't answer anyway and quite frankly I didn't have the energy after a strenuous food fight. I found a note near the stairs instead.
Morgan and Shay,
We've flown out to L.A to visit a client. Franny's gone out to visit her brother whose fallen ill. Morgan is in charge for the next three days. We've left all your necessities and if you need anything call Franny straight away. We love you both including our house, so don't try anything stupid. Hugs and kisses.
Wow. A handwritten note instead of a digital one. How utterly thoughtful.
They've never allowed us to stay home alone for 3 whole days. I bet they called my therapist and she must've told them that I was acting like a teenager and just needed space which is why they couldn't wait to leave. Morgan was definitely throwing a party like he usually did when they were out.
And who always had to clean up his mess? The loving sister that's who.
A loud bang came from upstairs reeling me out of my thoughts. Oh shit. Don't tell me this is some paranormal shit.
"Hello? Who's upstairs?" My voice came out shakily, climbing the stairs silently.
I smacked my forehead knowing I'd made the biggest mistakes ever. I've watched enough horror movies to know that you never call out expecting them to answer. 'Oh yeah, I'm a stranger in your house. Come join me upstairs and watch me chop your fingers.' Yeah, no thanks. I whacked my hand over my mouth to silence my breathing.
Second mistake. Was approaching the bloody person! Hell no. Running back down the stairs I pulled out my cell ready to hit speed dial on 911.
Stop being such a wuss Shayreece Taylor. This could've just been Morgan playing tricks on me. Grabbing my Dad's golf club I went up the stairs my legs trembling the whole time. I noticed the musty attic ladder was down.
You've got to be kidding me. Who invented attics anyway! Basements were already bad enough.
"Morgan I know you're up there," I hesitantly climbed the dusty ladder which hadn't been opened in forever.
Silence. That's all I got. Swiftly getting up with my body positioned in a defense stance I felt someone's hand reach out and touch my shoulder from behind. Turning round quickly with my eyes closed shut and my shrill scream piercing throughout the house I swung the golf club in the air like there was a piñata placed in front of me.
"Stop! Stop! It's me Amber!"
Opening one eye I stopped swinging. "Prove it."
She gently took the club out of my hand settling it down next to the boxes. Laughing she just said she was looking for Morgan's old tapes from when he was younger.
Was this girl intentionally trying to make me hate her? First she doesn't respond when I call out making me think that Chucky the doll was up here ready to pounce and then she acts as if I just hadn't tried to knock her head off.
Pushing my hair back I breathed out slow. "You could've just asked him ya know. There in that box labelled Morgan's videos," I pointed out bluntly which was right beside me.
She squinted her eyes and then a look of realization swept over her face. "Oh my gosh, how could I have possibly missed that!" She picked up the box and walked towards the stairs as if she were in a hurry.
Giving a tight smile I had to put my tongue on a leash to resist from telling her off for rummaging in the opened boxes one of which was labelled 'Teresa'. She popped her head back up making my heart jump start again.
"Thanks again! Morgan and I are setting up an outdoor theatre on the patio. You should join us," she offered with a polite grin.
Watching my brother snuggle with his girlfriend surrounded by candles and fairy lights? Ew. Count me out.
"That's sweet of you to offer, but I've already got plans." I placed my hands in my front pockets leaning back and forth.
After she'd left I went over to the dusty and cobwebbed covered box. It didn't make sense though. Morgan wouldn't tell the one girl he was trying to impress where to find his embarrassing videos. I've read enough Nancy Drew books to know that this girl was snooping. But I wasn't entirely sure why.
This box was tucked and hidden at the back of the pile but Morgan's was in plain site. Shuffling through the things I realized she'd been looking through my Aunt's album. I know I was counseled not to dig back but I couldn't help myself. The first photo that slid out made all the horrid memories of that day resurface uncontrollably accompanied by a wave of mixed feelings. They stood side by side. My aunt Tess holding hands with that murderer and torturer. His smile could convince anyone that he was alright in the head. It was if I was being sucked back into that wormhole where his hands were wrapped around my neck trying to scrape away each breathe that I took making sure I wouldn't live to see another day.
Closing the box quickly I pushed it to the back, jumped down and shut the ladder door, running to my room,I hid under my covers and sobbed so hard. Letting reality sink back slowly, I drifted off into another nightmare where he had all the control over both of us.
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Jemimah's POV
Where the hell was this girl? I swear, it was like being friends with a bipolar kindergartner. So when I showed up in her room the sight before me was utterly tragic. I'd find her like this many times before but I thought we'd made progress throughout the year. Now we were back to square 1. She'd been through a lot.
Her aunt dying. Her creepy boyfriend being the cause of all this infliction in her teenage life. She was never a burden though and I was extremely grateful for our unbreakable friendship. I shook her slowly as she continued to turn and sob in her sleep. "Shay honey, wakey wakey," I whispered soothingly.
Her eyes fluttered open as she sat up. "What time is it?" She spoke groggily. I sat beside her on the bed with my legs tucked under. "Oh I don't know,check your phone and see the amount of times I called and texted you. That might add up to it."
Damn. There I go being insensitive again. But that's what I loved about Shay. She understood me so well and knew that I wasn't the world's best comforter. "Sorry. I saw some stuff that kinda rehashed everything for me. I'm fine now. No biggie." She rubbed her forehead.
"Yes biggie. I know you Shay. So you're staying with me till your parents get back and we are gonna have some major girl time and don't worry that includes jello shots which I know is the only form of alcohol you love," I pulled us both to our feet.
We started jumping on the bed while she smiled appreciatively. "I don't mean to be a buzz kill but you kinda reek of meatballs and spaghetti sauce, so hit the showers!" I smacked her butt still jumping in the air.
"You're probably right," she gagged when she smelt her hair bolting into the bathroom.
"When am I ever wrong?" I spoke to myself rummaging through her drawer deciding whether to go slutty or subtle.
"JAY WE AREN'T GOING TO BE STRIPPERS AT A CLUB SO PACK DECENT CLOTHES," she shouted over the running water.
Damn it. She was no fun at all when she was thinking straight. Subtle it is and maybe one hot outfit in case of some turn of events.
"WHAT WAS THAT? YOU WANT ME TO PACK G-STRINGS AS WELL?" I joked back tossing a few outfits in the bag.
"Knock knock," a familiar deep voice said at the door.
Turning suddenly I saw Morgan giving me a curious look. "What did I just hear?"
"Things you weren't meant to," I reacted quickly shoving his hard chest out the door.
He smiled down at me while I did in return. "Um, did you want something?" I asked hesitantly putting my hands in my back pocket.
"Isn't it obvious? You," he grabbed my chin and smashed his lips against mine before I could respond sending me into a spiral of bliss.
Jokes guys. Well,at least that was my fictional imagination of how things would've played out. But instead it went like this.
"I just wanted to thank you for taking care of her. You're a good friend Jayjay," he used the nickname he made for me ever since we were young while rubbing the back of his head as we were still ignoring what happened during the summer break. I was the mastermind at avoiding unfinished topics so I played along. We were so close to talking about it when we left the chaos in the cafeteria and were finally alone until his girlfriend called.
But somehow we were never fateful with good timing. It just wasn't ever gonna work between us and don't get me started on when I imagined the day I'd inevitably have to choose between one of them. Which I'd learnt to love equally.
"Certain people were preoccupied with promiscuous activities so someone had to. You're a terrible brother Morgan," I shooed him away with my fingers and a distasteful look.
Taking my hand in his he looked me straight in the eyes. "I mean it. I owe you one," he gave me a loop sided smile.
Sometimes I didn't know if we were flirting or just having a friendly conversation between two people who've known each other their whole lives.
"You owe me plenty." I cleared my throat still not wanting to break eye contact.
I removed my hand from his when I heard his girlfriend calling his name continuously.
"Oh look, she's ready to give you your bath now," I made fun of his clingy girlfriend who sounded like his wife in that moment. He brushed it off with an eye roll.
"Just make sure she doesn't do anything illegal, no clubbing, no-" I interrupted his big brother checklist knowing he'd finish tomorrow.
"Boy bye," I shut the door in his face rolling my eyes back.
Shay was smooching her teddy bear already dressed. "Oh Morgan, you're so naughty," she teased in a high pitched voice.
It was moments like this where I questioned our friendship the most.
"I don't even sound like that you immature brat," I retorted my face heating up. Packing her extra essentials and half the food from the refrigerator we were ready to leave. After a brief acquaintance with Amber I sized her up. My judgemental self had loads to say but let's just leave it at that. She was way way way way too nice that it seemed a little too sketchy.
Was it weird seeing him in a stable relationship for once? Yes. It was, considering all our history, especially during the summer but Shay didn't have to know about that with all she had going on in her life.
We left the kitchen awkwardly as she stood in between his legs while he sat on the counter coughing loudly. "There's still one person living in this house Shay," he moved out of Ambers embrace shyly as he watched us haul the bags of food out the door glancing at me from time to time.
I sashayed my way out of that house trying to look confident as I usually did. With one last friendly smile, they waved from the window hand in hand knowing they were finally alone.
Shay plugged in the aux cord and started playing all her depressing Indie RnB music which didn't help the situation of me going back down memory lane. We sat in comfortable silence. I wondered about how it could've been me there instead of Amber. If I had said the right things and had been totally honest with him.
No. I couldn't let myself think like that again. I had the chance and I blew it so many times. He couldn't wait for me any longer. But I couldn't move on. And I wished part off him felt that way too.
I guess I'd never find out.
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A/N:
Wazzup Gois? How'd you like Jay's point of view? I wanted to add that in so you'd understand how her friends felt as well. And don't worry, I hate writing POV's so they'll only be a few. I have also added more duhrama with Jorgan's love triangle and Shay's crazy past. Also make sure to check out that song, WHICH IS MY NEW JAM. Including James Arthur's video. He's is extra amazing.Otherwise I'm gonna cash you ousside howbow dah?
Ohk. I'll just end my aesthetic rant here. Vote and comment my loves!
Emma x