Ana
I flipped past the final page in the last book Justin had given me, throwing it to the side along with the rest of them. It surprised me that he had randomly lent them to me. Lisa thought he'd done it as an excuse to talk to me and the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
I stared at the books lying on my bed for fifteen minutes. I was home alone for the night, had nothing better to do and the books had to be returned sometime right? I would just pop in, give the books back and leave. I wouldn't seem desperate. Not anymore.
Throwing a pair of shoes onto my feet, I scooped up the pile and basically threw myself down the stairs. I crossed over to Justin's lawn, pausing to take a breath, and rang the doorbell.
I heard footsteps stomp around behind the door. The curtains ruffled in the window and the door opened. Justin stood, face torn between wide-eyed and a glare. Suddenly coming here didn't feel like such a good idea.
"Hi." I said, sheepishly.
"What are you doing here?"
"Um," I shifted the weight in my arms. "I-I finished the books so I wanted to return them."
"You shouldn't-" Justin sighed. "You could have just given them to me whenever you saw me outside." He took the books from me. "You have to-"
"Justin?" An older man stepped behind Justin. "What are you doing?" I had never seen his uncle before and by the way Justin stiffened, I got the idea that he was afraid of him.
"Noth-"
"Who's this?" We made eye contact and I didn't know if I should look away or hold the gaze. I settled on shifting my glance over to Justin.
"Richard, this is our neighbor, Ana. She was just returning some books I lent her." Justin sighed, looking down at the ground. "Ana, this is my Uncle Richard."
"Nice to meet you." I smiled.
He nodded. "Well, Justin, aren't you going to invite our guest to stay for dinner?" A hand was placed on Justin's shoulder and I didn't miss the slight change in his stance, the way he flinched, though it was barely noticeable.
"Would you..." Justin's eyes slowly moved up to mine. "Would you like to stay?" He grinded out like it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to say.
I held his gaze steadily. "I'd love to." A shit-eating grin grew on my face. He disliked me for whatever reason but now he was forced to hang out.
I followed them inside the house. Richard turned back to Justin. "Why don't you take her into the living room while I finish up dinner?"
Justin raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
His uncle's eyebrows rose but in a more intimidating way. "Because I said so." He said quietly.
Justin's shoulders slumped but he nodded. He turned to me, gesturing for me to follow him into the living room.
Pictures of a much younger Justin lined the walls, a much different Justin than I'd ever witnessed. He didn't have those cold, dead eyes. He didn't look angry or sad or lonely.
"You played soccer?" I smiled.
"Yeah, for a while actually." He nodded. "I used to play a lot of sports. I was on a basketball team in elementary school."
"Were you any good?"
"Yeah, pretty good." Justin smirked.
"I bet I could take you." I said jokingly, shoving past him.
He rolled his eye. "Doubtful"
"Why don't you play anymore?"
"I, uh, I quit most social things after-" Justin cleared his throat. "A lot of things changed."
I nodded, not touching on the topic again. There were many pictures, all of them of Justin, but none of or with his mother. I kept my mouth shut, chanting to mind my own business in my head.
"Come on," Justin said after a minute of silence. "I think it's almost time to eat."
I was seated across from Justin and next to his uncle, who forked the spaghetti onto my plate. He gave me a smile that was so warm, it was borderline creepy.
"Where did your family move from Ana?"
I swallowed. "I lived in New York my whole life."
"Ah." Richard nodded. "Must be a big change moving here."
"It took a little to get used to but things got better." I looked up at Justin who quickly looked down at his plate. "My dad got remarried so we moved here. Y'know, for a change." I realized I had been rambling.
"Do you like his new wife?"
"Um," I was taken back a bit. "Yeah, she's great."
"What about your mother?"
Justin rolled his eyes. "I think we're getting a bit too personal here."
"It's fine." I shook my head. "There were a lot of problems. I couldn't live with her anymore."
Richard looked me over carefully, as if I were a science study up for observation. I looked down at my food, twirling more pasta around my fork. Finally, Richard turned back to his own plate and said, "Yes, well I know about problematic parental figures."
Justin slammed is fork down so hard, I was surprised the plate didn't shatter. "Enough." He said quietly. His hands clutched the edge of the table so hard, as if he were trying to stop himself from lashing out at his uncle.
I stared at him in shock as he glared at Richard, who impassively gazed back. Justin dragged his chair back against the floor. "I'm done." He disappeared back into the living room.
Richard just sighed, going back to the meal like nothing. My hands shook when I picked my fork up again. I was suddenly extremely uncomfortable. I didn't like the feeling of being left alone with him and was surprised that Justin would leave me since he seemed so defensive and cautious about his uncle.
After we'd finished eating, I offered to help with the dishes. Richard tried to refuse but I insisted, following him into the kitchen to dry while he washed.
"So you're going to be a Senior also?" Richard questioned, handing me a glass.
"Yes." I nodded. "I'm a little nervous."
"I can imagine. Starting a new school is never easy."
"I'd like to think I have an acquaintance in Justin." I said, fishing to see what reaction I got from him. "You know, it'll be good that I won't be so lonely."
The pause came and disappeared just as quickly. "Yes, a good thing indeed." Richard said, something new in his voice. I caught his eye and he tried to smile warmly, but he didn't try hard enough because I knew a fake smile when I saw one.
Justin barged back into the kitchen just as we were finishing up. "I think it's time to go." He said quietly, taking hold of my arm.
"Alright. " I nodded. "Thank you, Richard, for having me. Dinner was wonderful."
He nodded with a smile, glancing at Justin with hard eyes. Justin turned to me. "Wait for me by the door."
"Come straight home." Richard said quietly when I walked out. "I'd like to speak with you."
Some more quiet words were exchanged before Justin came back to me, walking right past me and out the door. I followed him silently.
"You know you don't have to walk me back, I'm a big girl." I got no response. "I'm sorry I caused trouble." I added quietly.
Justin sighed, turning to me. "I didn't know he was going to do that. I don't know why, either. He's mostly the reason I'm the town hermit. He's never been too welcoming to friends." He muttered, running a hand through his hair.
Friends.
And then I finally got it.
"I think I understand you now." I murmured. Justin's eyes shot up to mine, squinting. "You don't exclude yourself by choice. You want friends, you want to be social. You just want to be normal, like everyone else."
"I don't think like the other kids do. I get so--so angry about things." He let out a breath.
I stepped forward, "We're all a little fucked up and we all need a friend, Justin. I want to be your friend."
He shut his eyes. "I need to go now. Good night, Ana." He opened his eyes again.
"Good night," I said, watching him retreat.
I went back into my empty house, taking in the silence. Suddenly, I was so grateful for Dad and everything he'd done. After alcohol consumed my mother, he was all I had and made sure to show me as much love as he possibly could. Justin lost that at such a young age.
I lowered myself into the scalding hot bath. I must have been in there for more than two hours. Guilt was lying deep in my stomach. In New York, I was one of those girls who made fun of people like Justin. I was an Emily who was dating a Bobby and was a shallow bitch. I didn't care about anyone's feeling except my own. I wondered how many people actually liked me. They didn't. I was too into myself to even notice. And it was proved when two months had passed and I had not heard from anyone.
I wiped the steam away from my mirror, looking at myself. My mom had never even called and that hurt more than anything. She fed my ego growing up and gave me everything I wanted. I thought it was because she loved me but when Dad divorced her and took me with him, she didn't even fight to keep me.
I vowed right then that I would never let my little brother feel like that. I wanted him to know that he was loved every single day. I wanted him to know the amazing family that we had.
I was snapped out of my very deep thoughts when I heard tapping coming from somewhere in the house. I turned my head, grabbing a towel to wrap around myself. I popped my head outside of the bathroom door.
"Dad? Lisa?"
There was no reply and I heard no movement, other than the continuous tapping. Too many odd things were happening today.
My first thought was a bird but it was too dark out. Calling dad might have been a good idea but I was too curious.
I tried to ignore the noise for exactly two minutes before I just grabbed a can of air freshener to use for defense.
I tip-toed out into the hall. I followed the sound of the tapping all the way down the hall and outside of my bedroom door.
Slowly opening the door, I peeked in. The tapping was coming from my window. Someone was tapping on my window.
I quietly slid over to the glass, taking hold of the curtain. Pulling it back slowly, I saw bright brown eyes peeking in. I jumped, clutching my hand to my chest. I threw the window open.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I squealed at Justin, who was standing on the wooden beam that ran below the house and clutching onto my window for dear life.
"I have no idea." He said honestly. "We barely know each other and I've been such an asshole to you. I don't know how to do this friend thing. This was a horrible idea."
"Uh..." I looked down to make sure Justin wouldn't fall to his death. "Give me a minute." I sprinted back into the bathroom, quickly throwing on my pajamas and throwing my wet hair into a bun.
I helped Justin climb over the window sill and he landed on the wooden floor with a loud thud. He was sweaty and out of breath when he stood straight again.
"Wanna...hangout?" He asked.
I smiled. "Sure, Justin."