Kaija aka Kai
I was walking with Parker outside of the church after we ate. My father forced him to come, and it turned out he really liked it once we started talking. He was really quiet up until this point and I'm glad he still feels like he can open up to me.
"It was real chill, I might come again."
"You should..it's not a bad thing to go to church." I told him.
"I know. Its just real new to me. Im used to new though so I think I can get used to it." He said stopping at the corner, and I stopped to.
"So tell me what happened with you and that boy." I said referring to the guy he got into a fight with about a week ago.
"You know I missed you right?" He asked trying to change the subject. I smiled.
"Yeah..I missed you to Parker. You glo'd up but you didn't answer my question."
"I know..I just need to work on my anger sometimes...I sometimes feel like I can't walk away from situations because I did it all the time when I was a kid..in that situation...I should have just walked away." He sniffled looking off.
"You still didn't tell me what happened."
"So basically...this bitch nigga—
"Really? You just came from church." I punched him in his arm playfully.
"My bad...this guy tried to punk me because his girl was flirting with me and...Stuff. And he called her the B word and I told her she doesn't have to let him talk to her like that. He got in his feelings and tried to punk me so I had to defend myself. I hit him first."
"Well you did the right thing and the wrong thing..you stood up for the girl and told her not to take his mess.. but you shouldn't have hit him first..I can see why you did it though but if he wasn't attacking you it was no purpose in the fight unless he hit you first." I explained.
"I know you right..I'm really working on it I'm always fighting for no reason that's why I just like to stay to myself."
"But you always been like that."
"True..can't trust people and I always think someone's against me. Childhood really fucked me up man."
"Hey, nobody is perfect. Don't beat yourself up about it you can only try and do better." I said taking a bite into the cupcake I was holding.
"Yeah..you right." He said looking down on me. "You got something on your lip."
"Huh?"
He took his thumb and wiped off the icing I had on my lip. I stared back at him and saw this intense look in his eyes. A look of desire, and I felt the same way for a second. He rubbed my chin and leaned in, but I pushed him away.
"Sorry." He said looking away scratching his head.
"It's okay." It was quiet for a few seconds until he broke the silence.
"Kai can I be honest with you real quick?"
"That's all I ever asked for since we were little so yes you can always be honest with me."
"Alright so...I've had a crush on you since I met you. You been more loyal to me than anybody I ever knew besides my folks..and—
"You have a crush on me?"
"Yeah...You so bad, and I can't help it you always been there for me to. I really appreciate and I'm glad we got the opportunity to see each other again...I'm too old to be playing games Kai I just want to make you mine." He grabbed me by waist and pulled my body into his.
We were face to face, and I couldn't help but to feel the same way he was feeling. Was this a good idea though? Is he still the same person I knew when we were kids? I was unsure and felt like this was happening to fast. He leaned in and kissed me, and I didn't kiss him back. He looked at me funny.
"What's wrong? You don't like me?"
"No..it's not that I just feel like this is happening to fast. You shouldn't have told me this so early."
"What you mean? We knew each other since we been kids."
"I know but we should still just be friends for now. I don't want to be in a relationship yet im not ready."
"Kai I'm not asking you to be in a relationship with me yet I was just telling you how I feel...I would like to work on a relationship though."
"Why did you kiss me then? It's too early."
"I didn't think it was a big deal we kissed before."
"We were kids Parker."
"I know, but it still counts. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable but I couldn't help it You got some nice lips." I chuckled before he did it again, and this time I kissed him back.
His lips felt so nice on mine, and I liked it. I broke the kiss and he kissed my jaw a couple of times.
"Tell me you dont feel the same way and I'm gonna cry."
"I don't." I said with a straight face.
He walked away, and I had to run and grab him to tell him I was just kidding.
"I'm just playing Parker..I do feel the same." I laughed, and he gave me a straight face.
"That's not funny Kaija..if you didn't feel the same way I would've really been hurt and felt dumb." He said smirking.
"I'm just not sure about this whole thing."
"What is there not to be sure about Kai?"
"What are we?"
"We just friends with feelings for each other for now.."
"What's the limits?"
"What? You talk to other niggas? I'm confused tell me what the problem is..you looking like you worried."
"There is this one guy, and I always end up going back to him. But I do like you a lot and I did have a crush on you back then.." I admitted being honest.
"But now?"
"I just have to straighten things out with him."
He smacked his teeth. "Most likely he ain't shit if y'all on and off. Someone who really wanna be with you never going to let you go."
"You don't even know him what if its my fault we are always on and off?" I said becoming defensive.
"Is it really?" He asked, and I looked to the ground.
He looked disappointed in me as he walked away.
"Wait."
He kept walking as I hit myself in the head. I am so stupid.
The day before as I sat in my room doing my homework, and listening to music my phone started to ring it was Isaiah the guy I was on and off with.
I found it funny he was calling me and he hasn't in a month or talked to me during school.
It all started when we were freshman's. When I started high school I figured I was grown and grown people make grown up decisions and have boyfriends.
I was completely wrong because I was not, and having a boyfriend was a lot more stressful than I thought it would be.
Isaiah was checking me out, and I was to. I knew he was one of those populars because a lot of girls tried to talk to him but I never seen him pay them any attention. I felt special when he came up to me and talked to me.
We exchanged numbers after our conversation and we connected so easily. He became my boyfriend a month later and told me he loved me and we ended up having sex. I wish I would have waited because it was not all I expected it to be. And we were just dating for a month, and I felt dumb for giving it up so easily.
4 months later I found out he was cheating on me with some girl and she came to me and told me. She even had messages of them texting back and forth.
I was heartbroken and swore I wouldn't get back together with him but I did my Sophomore year and we dated for the whole school year until he decided junior year that I was a distraction and he needed to focus on football and his grades.
I accepted that..but then the next day in school I saw him hugged up with other girls and what looked like flirting. I was heartbroken yet again by him, and when I confronted him about it he told me he just wanted to be single and didn't want to break my heart.
I cried that whole night because I could never understand why we were always on and off..was I not good enough for him?
I did not understand...although he still flirted with me in school and told me he loved me we did not get back together. We talked the whole summer..went out on dates had lots of sex and did fun things until the end of the summer when all of a sudden he cuts me off and I see him with another girl named Anastasia.
For the 3rd time my heart was broken. I promised myself it was no more going back to him but sometimes without him I feel so empty. A piece of my heart is gone and I want it back.
I haven't thought about him at all this year I just see him and his girl and walk by like I don't know him and he does the same thing. I still had feelings for him and I don't think they were going to go away.
I answered the call and waited for him to say something but the line was silent.
"Kaija." He finally spoke in his deep voice.
"What's up."
"I need to talk to you. You home alone?"
"No. What do you want to talk about?"
"Us."
"There is no us what the fuck are you talking about?" I questioned.
"I miss you Kai...come and see me."
"No." I said not falling for his shit this time.
"Please. I have to talk to you."
"About what!? Whatever you have to say you can say it over the phone."
"Nah, I'm not come thru and quit with the attitude I ain't do shit to you and I'm being nice."
I smacked my teeth. "Why are you calling my phone after 3 months?"
"I'm trying to show you how much I love you, and you want me to say that shit through the phone?"
I smacked my teeth. "Alright fine...I'll be there in 20 minutes."
"Good." He said before he hung up.
I set up uber on my phone and told my parents I was going to the library and would be back in a hour or so.
When the uber came I paid the man the amount he needed and he took me to Zay house.
He didn't live that far from me in a town house, and it took about 10 minutes to get there.
I knocked on his door ready to hear the bullshit, and when he opened he didn't have a shirt on and had on grey sweatpants.
"Why don't you have a shirt on? And why are you wearing grey sweat pants?" I shook my head.
"Damn I can't be comfortable in my own house?" He said welcoming me in.
"You can but you have guest..and grey sweat pants are every girls weakness so I think you should put on something different." I told him and he smacked his teeth.
"I'm not.." he said as he sat down next to me.
I stared at the wall not trying to make eye contact as I felt him staring at me.
"What do you want to talk about Zay?"
"I like your hair." He said touching my blow dried hair.
"Thanks." I said with a attitude because I know he was just messing around.
"I miss you so much it ain't nobody like you that I have met..and I want you back no bullshit this time..I know who I want and I want to be mine, and I'll be your only."
"Really?"
"Honestly."
"Well I don't believe you. I gave you so many chances and you used me over and over again. What makes this time any different?"
"Cause I'm not fucking around."
"What happened with Anastasia?"
"She wasn't you, and she was a hoe so I had to let her go."
"I don't trust you...I don't trust you at all."
"Why? I'm being honest."
"Actions speak louder than words."
"Fine, I will show you. Can you look at me please?" I rolled my eyes and looked into his brown ones.
He grabbed my hands and kissed my left one slowly.
"Believe me."
I shook my head. "What happened with that fight?"
"What fight?" He asked looking confused.
"With you and Parker...dreads...light-skin."
"You talk to that nigga!?" He asked getting defensive as he stood up.
"We grew up in the foster system together, and we are close."
"Oh..that's wild. But he was flirting with Anastasia all in her face and shit and I confronted him about it and he lost it. Nigga crazy." He said shaking his head.
I shook my head. "He's not crazy he been through a lot..and I guess he felt like you were coming at him."
"I wasn't, why are you defending him? Y'all got something going on?"
"Why? Do you see him as competition?" I questioned and he shook his head.
"Nope."
"Well you should big guy." I tapped his shoulder as I got up about to leave.
"What? The fuck is that supposed to mean?"
I opened the door but he closed it shut, and stood in front of me.
"Move I wanna go home."
"Not until you tell me what you mean by that...do you like him?"
"Take it however you want to take it. Now get out of my way before I punch you."
"Do it."
I took my left fist and punched him hard across the face, and I felt him grab my waist and my feet being lifted from the floor. I kicked and tried to fight back but it was no use. He was way bigger than me and he was stronger too.
I tried my best to get out of his grip even though it was no use and he sat me on the counter with him in between my legs.
He took one finger and looked at it and saw blood coming from his busted eye.
"The fuck Kai you busted my shit!"
"So? You told me to punch you."
He gave me a evil eye as he went into the bathroom. I waited for 5 minutes until I tried to make it out the door but I felt him grab me again from behind.
"Where you think you going? We not done talking." He said as I tried to move out of his grip.
"But I'm done, so get off me before I give you another busted eye."
"You play too fucking much."
"I learned the game you love...you asshole."
"Oh really?" He asked sarcastically still holding on to me with one arm and I still couldn't get out.
"Yes really!"
"Bet you I won't be a asshole when I dick you down."
"No thank you please let me go."
"Nah cause you talk a lot of shit."
We got to his bedroom and he threw me on the bed and hovered over top of me.
"Moveeee."
"No." I saw he put bandages over his eye and it wasn't leaking anymore.
"Isaiah I'm not joking."
He started to kiss me all over my neck, face and chest which felt good and I wanted to have sex but I would not allow that to happen.
He put his hand down my shirt and grabbed my boob massaging it as his tongue ran up and down my neck.
"This..this is rape."
"But you liking it." He pulled my shirt over my head and unsnapped my bra and it came off exposing my bare chest. My dumb ass let him and he started to suck on my chest and play with my nipples, and I was getting horny.
I let out a moan but covered it my mouth.
"Why you frontin on me right now?" He asked in a seductive tone.
"Please stop." He tried to go down on me and I crossed my legs but he pulled them apart and I could feel his member pressing against my body as he kissed me all over and kept coming back up.
"Oh my gosh..please."
"Please what?" He pulled my panties down and swirled his tongue all around my lower body. Every part but the part that needed attention.
"Stop joking..if your going to fuck me do it so I can go home." He chuckled like he found this funny.
"Are you horny?" I closed my eyes, and nodded my head.
"Don't be gentle."
He smirked as he pulled his pants down cause he knew I didn't do all the foreplay shit. With my eyes still closed I could feel him at my entrance moving his dick across entering and pulling out. He did this for about 5 minutes which was making me mad.
"What are you doing?" He rubbed my pussy before it all stopped. I opened my eyes and saw him put his pants back on.
"What was that?"
"I ain't want to take advantage of you, and you told me you didn't want it so you can leave now." He said, and I was beyond annoyed at this point.
"Are you serious? You just played me..I wanna have sex." I said putting my clothes back on.
"That's not my problem Kai. Only good girls get what they want. I have to fix this." He still was erected and the sight made me more wet. I had to leave.
"Bye jerk."
"See ya."
"Don't talk to me during school."
He laughed as I left upset, and horny.
I got all my shit and left.
Andre.
I picked up King from my mothers house because today we were going to do something together.
I was planning on telling him I wasn't his father which would be hard for me but it needed to be done.
Prince, and Aasiyah came along also because I forced them. All they ever want to do is be in the house playing video games or on their phone and we never did anything together so today I wanted to do something with all of them.
My mom lived in a normal sized house about 20 minutes from our house and had a job working in the government.
She always would watch the kids if Me, and Asia were busy and they liked going over the grandmother house.
Probably because she spoils them to death and let's them do whatever they want.
"Hey pops!" King said giving me dap meeting me at the door as Prince and Aasiyah waited in the car.
"Whats up?"
"Nothing. Bye grandma!" She said as my mother walked in the doorway.
"Bye baby boy." she said hugging him and kissing his cheek. He then went to the car and Prince opened the door for him.
When they saw each other it was a unbreakable bond because they were so close which is why I wish I had more custody rights than Sapphire although that is not my son I created.
"Hey ma, how was he?"
"Good.. he never gives me any trouble and all he could talk about was when you were coming." She said.
"Really?"
"Yeah. Gon and get out of here though and have fun." She said pulling me into a hug.
"I will."
"Are you going to tell him?" She questioned.
"Yeah I have too. He's about that age and I don't want to wait until it's too late..I just hope he don't take it too hard. He was already really confused when he was younger and saw Sapphire with other girls...I just hope he don't feel no different cause I didn't conceive him. It don't really change anything for me."
"Good. I love you."
"Love you too ma..I will call you."
"Okay."
I left her house and got in the car to see King and Anthony playing their video games and Aasiyah in the front seat on her phone.
I wasn't going to do this the whole time...just watch them on their electronics.
"Is that all y'all do? I want all electronics now." I commanded, and they all looked at me like I was crazy.
"Dad I need to just beat this level im almost there." I heard King say and a lot of smacking teeth and excuses.
"I don't care hand it over." They all handed me their stuff and I put it away.
They then sat there quiet with attitudes.
"You guys spend too much time on that shit..I never see y'all like that and when I do want to go out y'all just do what y'all do at home...how's school?" I asked all of them and they shrugged their shoulders.
"Good I guess. All my grades are A's except for one class I have a C in because I didn't pass a test." Aasiyah spoke up.
"That's good...bring that C up though I know you can do it."
"Im trying but that class is so tough." She said. Aasiyah was smart but math just was not her thing.
"Just keep pushing through you will get it...why y'all quiet?" I asked referring to the boys.
"I don't know my grades." Prince said and I knew he was lying.
"Try again."
"I don't dad really!"
"Okay..don't let me find out your lying..king how's homeschool?"
"Terrible. I hate it. I told mom and she doesn't want me to be normal..I want to go to regular school. Homeschool is boring, and I feel like the work is too easy!"
"You really dont like it?"
"No."
"Aight. I will talk to your mom about it."
"Really!?"
"Yeah you don't need to be homeschooled that's for losers."
"I know. I want to live with you dad..can't you get custody of me or something? Mom is boring and sometimes over protective." I shook my head.
Sapphire is not a bad mom but it's better if he lives with me during this time of his life. I can teach him stuff she can't..like how to be a man. Being around females all the time is not good for him.
"I can try but I can't make no promises. It's not that simple but I wish it was."
He shook his head. "I understand."
The whole rest of the ride we talked and listened to music and I found out shit just by listening to them talk.
If they don't think im really listening they won't stop talking and sometimes say too much.
Like I didn't know King had a so called girlfriend, or Prince was failing two classes even though he didn't know his grades.
Aasiyah and her best friend got into a really big argument about something so stupid I couldn't keep up and they ended up fighting and she got in school suspension.
I didn't react to anything they said so they would think I'm not paying attention but I was.
After about 20 minutes we ended up at the Trampoline park and they jumped around for about 3 hours and I'm not gonna lie I did too the shit was fun.
I noticed Aasiyah doing all these cool flips and shit that I didn't know she could do. I was amazed.
"Aasiyah where did you learn to flip like that?" I asked as she did it again.
"Nobody..my friend has a trampoline at her house and I just practiced a lot over the summer."
"I'm surprised."
"Well...you wouldn't be surprised if you were around more...Mom knew."
"Oh."
She jumped and went away from me and I sat down at one of the booths feeling like a terrible dad. I had to get my shit together.
After another 30 minutes we sat down and ate pizza ate the place. Everyone ate in silent cause jumping around and shit makes you hungry as fuck. I was so hungry I felt like I was high.
"Why didn't Kai and Harmony come?"
"Cause they think they too grown. Harmony said she had a lot of work and Kai said she was going to the movies."
"I cannot believe they left me alone." Aasiyah complained.
"What you don't like us?" I questioned.
"Nope." She said in a harsh way.
Me and the boys exchanged looks, and Prince mocked her.
"Im just joking I love you guys..but I'm the only girl here."
"It's okay you can get on them when we get back to the house they aren't really doing shit but talking to them nasty boys."
I was really strict on both Harmony and Kai about guys because I didn't want them to get taken advantage of...but I know Harmony like that boy I saw at the hospital and Kaija still fuck with her ex that I should've handled a long time ago..and I think her and Parker got some shit going on too but I'm not positive.
I just keep quiet cause you know more when you silent. Like yesterday I saw Kai and Parker talking for a long time outside the church and I saw him hug her like he liked her or some shit. Then she told me she was going to the library but it was late so I tracked her uber and it ended up at her ex address which I also knew.
"What boys I will fight them." Prince said putting on a angry face. I swear this little boy was like me when I was his age and it kind of scared me sometimes.
"Nothing I can't handle for myself."
"You need backup sometimes dad..I'm your man." He said flexing his muscles. He didn't really have any but he was just trying to be like me.
"Aight imma call you if I need backup."
I gave him dap and he saluted me and I shook my head laughing.
"But on a serious note I need to talk to y'all about something." I said eating a slice of my pizza. I wiped my mouth before I started to speak.
I was nervous. "I really love y'all a lot and I'm sorry I haven't been there like I'm supposed to be...and y'all don't deserve that..I promise I will be there for y'all more and be around more..Do y'all forgive me?"
"Yeah. I never felt like you wasn't there for me." King said.
"I have and I forgive you." Aasiyah said.
"Dad you know you my mans, so yeah." I laughed.
"Aight I love y'all more than y'all think y'all do..and King I gotta tell you something I should've told you a while ago." I started. It had to be done.
None of the kids knew so I planned to tell them all before the day was over.
"Aight tell me."
"I don't know how to say this so ima just say it....I'm not your dad."
"Your not my dad? What do you mean?" He questioned looking confused.
"I'm not your dad King...your mother cheated on me..I don't want you to look at her differently though she was going through a lot—
"But mom likes girls."
"That was before she started liking other women..your real dad..well I don't know too much about him but I know he has another family and he never even talked to your mom again after she told him."
"Your lying."
"Why would I lie to you if I love you."
"No you don't if this is true and you kept it from me for this long."
"King I'm telling you the truth you don't have to look at me differently—
"Well I do. You lied to me you and mom. Did you guys know about this too?" She asked looking at prince and Aasiyah and they both shook there head.
"No."
"How do I know you guys aren't lying?"
"They not."
"Whatever I'm ready to go..and I wanna go home with ma." He said getting up from the table and walking towards the door.
I shook my head afraid this was going to happen.
When we got back in the car everyone was silent, and ignoring me and it was driving me crazy. I called Sapphire and told her he was coming to the house and told her I told him, and we talked about it.
I dropped King off at Sapphire house and he ran in too fast for me and slammed the door behind him.
I knocked and Sapphire answered. "Just give him some time he will come around, but I think it's best if you leave right now..I will talk to him."
"This some bullshit why you being nice...you wanted me to tell him so bad."
"Andre just leave I said I will talk to him." She looked like she was stressed.
"Okay..tell him I love him."
"I will." She said before she shut the door, and I walked to the car feeling bad.
I thought he would understand better..I just hope he can forgive us, and I could stop feeling like a terrible father.
*Kai in mm*
Comment A LOT!
-Miyah