That was the first peaceful sleep I'd had in over two years.
Usually the darkness would cause me to snap, to break like a twig, to lose my sanity, to cower in the corners of my mind. The darkness would choke me, crush my windpipe to keep me from screaming. It hated my screams, it hated my cries. It had no sympathy for me.
It despised me and laughed at my pitiful pleas.
But the darkness that encompassed me while I slept was a calming, soothing kind of darkness. It protected me, kept me safe. It didn't choke me or crush my heart. It hugged me, wrapping me in its comforting arms, rocking me like a little child.
Little child...
Emma!
Where was Emma? Was she okay? Did I save Robin and Patrick? What about Jordan and Ruby and Mark? Were they with me? Were they okay?
My eyelids were heavy so I couldn't open them. My entire body felt numb and heavy to where it was impossible to move. I felt something clinging to the area around my mouth and nose and my first thought was a breathing mask. I heard voices talking in low, urgent whispers.
"Is Ms. Carrie sick?" asked the voice of a child. "Is she gonna be asleep forever?"
Emma, thank God.
"No, sweetie," said the soothing voice of a woman, possibly her mother. "She's gonna be just fine. She saved our lives. She has to be okay."
Robin? She's alive! So I did save her.
"She will be," said the soft voice of a man. There was a catch near the end of his sentence. He sounded like he'd been crying. I felt a pair of fingers curl around my wrist.
Jordan! Jordan, I'm okay! I'm here! My throat...it hurts. I can't speak.
"What exactly happened there?" a new male voice asked. "Was it a bomb?"
Good, Mark was still here to comfort Ruby. Wait, I haven't heard Ruby's voice yet. Ruby!
"No," said another man with an authorative tone, "it was an accident in the chemical lab. Chemical fire set the lab ablaze, causing a chain reaction of exploding chemicals."
That has to be Patrick.
"All those people that died," whispered Robin's voice, "and we could've been two of them."
"Hmm...uh..." I groaned softly, struggling to speak.
"Carrie?" cried a female voice in worry. "Carrie, can you hear me? Talk to me!"
Ah, there's my worried big sister!
I felt my fingers twitch slightly. They felt as if I was wearing five heavy rings on each finger and they were weighing me down. They felt compressed, as if something was keeping me from opening my hand.
"Carrie, please be okay!" Mark whispered. "Please! You can't leave us again!"
"Ugh...uh...Jo...r...dan," I mumbled.
The grip on my hand tightened. "What? Carrie, did you say something? Say it again!"
My lips struggled to form words. My throat still burned and felt laced with massive internal blisters. "Jo...r...dan. Jor...dan."
"I'm right here, baby!" he said happily. "I'm here! I'm here!" I felt his lips press lightly against my forehead.
The gloriously bright light was blinding as my eyes slowly opened, encasing my vision in a blanket of white. As my vision slowly refocused I noticed the teal green fabric above my head, realizing I was inside one of the medical tents. I had been stripped clean of my burned and soot covered clothes and was wearing a thin blue patient dress. The brace around my hand has been replaced and my fingers were wrapped together in a white bandage. Along my upper arm was a small fleshy colored bandage covering the place where I had fallen on the broken glass inside the hospital. There was a tube in my arm, hooking me up to an IV. The faint beep of the heart monitor was slow and steady paced.
Six different faces were gazing down at me, their eyes wide with surprise. All of them appeared to have been crying, for their eyes were puffy and red and there were still some faint wet streaks along their cheeks.
The first three people I saw were Robin, Patrick, and Emma.
Robin was leaning against a crutch so as not to hurt her damaged ankle. Tiny bandages covered her facial wounds and there was a faint scab from the split in her lip. Her matted hair flew in crazy wavy strands around her head.
Patrick looked about the same as Robin did; no massive damage except for a few tiny scrapes and bad bruises. There was a white bandage wrapped around his right hand.
Emma sat perched at the foot of my bed on her knees, her eyes watching me intently like a lonely puppy. Her tangly hair had been pulled back out of her face. She was wearing Jordan's beanie and had the Jerry blanket draped across her shoulders, cocooning herself in its warm hug.
Then I saw Ruby, who had her arms around Mark. Her mascara was smeared all around her eyes, trickling down her face in rivers of black. Mark was smiling at me, happy to see I was okay. I was surprised to see his eyes looked somewhat puffy as well.
And then my eyes came to rest on Jordan.
His brown eyes were horribly red and teary. They widened when he met my eyes, staring deeply at me. He took my bandaged hand and placed it to his cheek. I sighed dreamily, happy I could feel him again, even if I could only feel with my fingers. He started to cry again, but this time it was in happiness.
"Jordan," I said weakly, my voice slightly muffled by the breathing mask. "Ruby, Mark, you're...you're all here."
"Of course we are!" said Jordan, holding my hand tighter against his cheek. "We never left!"
"How long...how long was I---" My sentence was cut off by a rather ugly cough.
"Easy, Carrie," said Robin, placing a gentle hand on my chest. "Don't strain yourself. Your lungs still need time to heal. You've been out for a few hours."
"That was amazing," said Patrick, "what you did in there. I would never have been able to lift that beam by myself."
"Not to mention crazy stupid," said Ruby with a nervous laugh. "But hey, you're all over the news."
Ruby shoved her phone in my face. It was open to a YouTube video posted by the Santa Barbara Newsroom titled "Amazing Woman Saves Doctors!". There were amateur videos under the "suggested vids" tab posted by people at the scene of the fire, all of them over five hundred thousand views.
The video showed me running inside with the hose of the firetruck. The news woman who was talking off to the side of the camera sounded frantic and shocked, screaming the usual stuff at the camera man like "are you getting this" and "do you see what I'm seeing".
The dancing flames, in their own strangely scary way, were somewhat hypnotic and beautiful; swaying in sync with the billowing smoke. I heard what sounded a little girl screaming and crying, and my immediate thought was Emma.
"MOMMY, DADDY!" she screamed.
And then there I was, collapsing over the hole of the burning building, Patrick's knees buckling as he clutched Robin in his protective arms. The paramedics took away Robin and Patrick. Two others were running at me with a gurney. I was lurched over, coughing and spitting and gasping. I saw Emma jumping from Jordan's arms and following after her parents. I saw Jordan and Ruby and Mark running at me in hopes of helping me onto the gurney.
"You're a hero!" Emma exclaimed, crawling over my legs and snuggling up against my side. "You saved my mommy and daddy! Thank you!"
She gave me a light kiss on my cheek and then hugged Jordan.
"What was that for?" Jordan asked with a little chuckle.
"For meeting Ms. Carrie!" she replied with a big smile. "If you hadn't, I wouldn't have met you or her and she wouldn't have saved my mommy and daddy! Thank you, Mr. Jordan!"
She then kissed Jordan on the cheek. Jordan smiled and hugged Emma tightly. Robin smiled, happy tears twinkling in her eyes.
"So when will Carrie be able to come home?" Ruby asked nervously, looking at Robin.
"She's still pretty weak," said Robin, "but she'll be able to come home in a couple days. She needs to take it easy. Can you make sure of that?"
"Oh, trust me," Ruby replied, "I'll make sure."
I rolled my eyes and glared at Ruby. "You are...so annoying, sis."
"Love you too," said Ruby, bending over me and hugging me.
Jordan lifted Emma from the bed and looked at Robin. I looked at her too. She seemed nervous about something.
"Robin?" Jordan asked. "Are you okay?"
"Oh!" said Robin suddenly. "Yes, I'm fine. It's just...could I have a second alone with you and Carrie?"
My eyes turned back to Jordan. He suddenly looked worried, as if Robin was going to give bad news. The beeping of the heart monitor sped up.
"Beep beep beep!" said Emma playfully, poking Jordan's chest with every beep.
"Is everything alright, Robin?" Mark asked slowly, holding a trembling Ruby close to his side.
Robin smiled slightly and nodded. She looked at Emma, whose arms were still wrapped around Jordan's neck. She looked so happy. I had never seen Jordan so full of life, let alone with a child.
"Patrick," she said, still looking at Emma, "go on and take Emma home. It's late and she needs to sleep."
"But what about Ms. Carrie and Mr. Jordan?" Emma asked quickly, hugging Jordan's neck tighter. "Are they coming too?"
Patrick walked over to Jordan and lifted Emma from his arms. "Not yet, baby. Carrie's still sick, so it'll be a while before she can go home."
Emma sighed and looked down at the floor. "Oh, okay."
Robin looked over at Ruby and Mark, hinting for them to leave as well. Mark nodded and took Ruby's hand, looking at her with eyes that told her she had nothing to worry about. Ruby sighed reluctantly and looked over at me again, blowing a kiss in my direction. I breathed a weak laugh so as not to have a coughing fit.
As Ruby and Mark walked out of the medical tent hand in hand, Patrick started to follow them out with Emma resting on his shoulder.
"Wait!" Jordan said suddenly, stopping Patrick in his tracks. He grabbed the Jerry blanket from my bed and wrapped it around Emma. "You forgot your blanket."
"But Mr. Jordan," said Emma with a confused look, "this is your blanket."
"Keep it," he said, smiling his dazzling smile, "I've got more at home."
I placed a hand to my heart, remembering when he said those exact same words to me when he gave me his Creeper jacket. Emma smiled big, wrapping the blanket tighter around her body. Patrick grinned at Jordan, gave him a nod of respect, and followed after Mark and Ruby.
We were alone.
"What's...going on?" I asked breathlessly, the heart monitor going crazy now. "Am I...sick or something?"
"No, no it's not that," said Robin reassuringly. "It's just...I have a favor I want to ask of the both of you."
"A favor?" Jordan asked, kneeling down on one knee next to my bed and holding my hand. "What sort of favor?"
"It's a lot to ask," said Robin nervously, "but it would mean so much if you would agree to it."
Robin began wringing her hands, taking several deep breaths as she worked up the nerve to speak. She seemed very nervous. What could she possibly want that could make her seem so uneasy?
"Don't be...nervous," I said slowly. "Just tell us...what you need."
"You're right," said Robin with a sigh. "I shouldn't be nervous, I know I can trust both of you."
She took one final deep breath, put on a smile, and spoke her request.
"Both of you seem to be becoming rather close with Emma," she said.
"That's not a problem, is it?" Jordan asked worriedly.
"No, no of course not!" Robin replied quickly. "I love how she acts around you! She treats you both like family. I've never seen her that close with anyone before. I have to say thank you to you both. If it weren't for you two, I would've brought Emma to the hospital. She could've been hurt or killed, and I would never be able to forgive myself. But you, Carrie, you saved mine and Patrick's life. Not only that; you pretty much saved Emma's life too."
I was confused by that. "How?"
"You saved her from living a life of sadness and pain," she explained. "A life without her parents, her family. And it got me thinking after you saved us; what would happen to Emma if Patrick and I had died? Where would she go?"
My eyes were starting to widen. I was beginning to think I knew what she was getting at. But it couldn't be. I mean, I hadn't really thought about my future in Santa Barbara. Was I really ready for something like this?
I struggled to sit upright in the bed, grunting painfully as I did so. I pulled the breathing mask off my face and coughed once. Jordan immediately objected.
"Carrie, Carrie!" he said. "What are you doing? You need to rest! You can't overexert yourself!"
"I'm fine, Jordan," I said in a soft whisper. "I'm fine." I looked up into Robin's eyes, hinting for her to continue.
Robin nodded. "I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me, for Patrick, and for Emma. I know what I'm asking can't officially happen until a certain...commitment is made, but I want to tell you this now."
Robin kneeled down on the side opposite Jordan and placed her gentle hand on my arm. She had tears sparkling within her hopeful eyes. The heart monitor was going berserk.
"Carietta Diamond," she said, "and Jordan Maron, when the time is right...would you do us the great honor of becoming the godparents to our little Emma?"
I couldn't believe it. Godparents? Us? Me and Jordan? I was sure I was dreaming. Robin was placing her trust in us; the trust that we would take care of her one and only child, the child Jordan and I had grown to love in only a day.
I was crying, both shocked and happy. Jordan had his hand over his mouth, staring at Robin's grinning face as the hopeful tears fell.
"Oh my God, Robin!" I whimpered. "You really want us to be her godparents?"
"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't trust you both a hundred percent," she exclaimed happily.
"Robin, this is incredible!" said Jordan. He sounded happier than I did! "Emma's an amazing girl! We'd love to be the ones to take care of her!"
"Yes!" I cried happily. "Yes!"
Robin started to sob. She threw her arms around both me and Jordan and hugged us tightly, as if there was no possible way she could ever let go.
I didn't want her to. I was too happy. In that moment, I knew this was the start of a brand new family. I didn't think it could get any better than this. I was so absorbed in Robin's hug that I didn't notice Jordan had stepped out of the tent to make a call.
More surprises? I thought to myself. Could another surprise be any better than what I'd already had? I doubted it.
I didn't know how wrong I was.