THE ONE WHERE IT BEGINS
Heather Michaels sat on the floor next to her friend Phoebe Buffay as they colored a picture together. Chandler Bing and Monica Gellar sat on the couch, sipping coffee and flipping through the newspaper, while Joey Tribbiani sat in the recliner, staring at the ceiling. The group was at Central Perk, the coffeehouse you could always find them at.
"There's nothing to tell, it's just some guy I work with." Monica says. Heather rolls her eyes at Monica's attempt to lie.
"Come on. You're going out with the guy, there's got to be something wrong with him." Joey laughs. Heather nods her head agreeing with her best friend. Monica Gellar never went out with normal guys.
"A hump? Does he have a hump and a hairpiece?" Chandler jokes, earning a glare from Monica.
"Wait, does he eat chalk? Just cause I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl." Phoebe sighs and looks down.
"Okay, everybody relax. this is not even a date."
"Sure." Heather laughs, making Monica hit her in the arm.
"It's two people going out to dinner and not having sex." Monica argues.
"Sounds like a date to me." Heather mocks.
"Can we just change the subject please?" Monica begs the group.
"Alright, so I'm back in high school. I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria and I realize I am totally naked." Chandler changes the topic to the dream he had the night before.
"I've had that dream." A few of them mumble.
"Then, I look down and I realize there is a phone.. there." Heather's face contorts into confusion as she looks up at Chandler and away from her and Phoebe's drawing.
"Instead of..?" Joey asks, nodding down to Chandler's crotch.
"That's right." Chandler speaks quickly.
"Well, geez, I've never had that dream." Heather laughs with the others joining in.
"All of the sudden, the phone starts to ring and it turns out it's my mother. Which is very very weird because she never calls me." Chandler finishes his story with everyone giving him weird glances.
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"Hi." Ross Geller, Monica's older brother says as he walks in the coffeehouse, drenched from the rain. The group had traded spots, Phoebe and Monica now on the couch, Chandler in a wooden chair, Joey still in the recliner and Heather on the armrest of said recliner.
"This guy says hello, I want to kill myself." Joey scoffs. Heather smacks his arm, giving him a dirty glare. Ross had gotten a divorce not too long ago and was still dealing with the pain.
"Are you okay, sweetie?" Monica asks, taking hold of her brother's hand.
"I feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck." Ross whines.
"Any particular reason you feel that way?" Heather asks, confused as to why he seems to be doing worse than usual.
"Carol moved her stuff out today." Monica explains. "Let me get you some coffee." Monica gets up and walks to the counter. Ross takes her seat and sinks down into the couch, looking sadder than ever.
Phoebe gasps and starts picking the air around Ross. "Stop cleansing my aura." Ross says and pushes her hands away. "I'll be fine everyone, I hope she'll be happy."
"No you don't." Heather scolds.
"No I don't, to hell with her. She left me."
"And you never knew she was a lesbian?" Joey asks. The whole group wondered how he never figured it out. It was almost obvious since she was always hanging out with Susan, the woman she's with now.
"No. Okay? Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know. How should I know?" Ross defended.
"Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian." Chandler whispers while reading the newspaper, making everyone give him weird looks, once again. "Did I say that out loud?" He glances up at everyone in panic.
"Ross, look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry, hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?" Joey asks.
"Don't." Heather warns the man. She knew he was going to say something totally inappropriate and that's not what Ross needs right now.
"Strip joints!" Joey exclaims. Heather hit his arm for the second time that day.
"I just want to be married again." Ross pouts. Suddenly, a woman in a wedding dress runs into the coffeehouse. Her dress was soaked from the rain and she looked like she could really use a nap.
"And I just want a million dollars!" Chandler yells, waiting for a million dollars to fly through the door.
"Rachel?" Monica asks and walks over to the woman.
"Oh God, Monica, hi. A guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are!" Rachel cheers.
"Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. this is Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Heather and you remember my brother Ross?" Monica guides Rachel over to the group and introduces her to everyone. The two girls sit down on the couch, everyone waiting for Rachel to explain why she's in a wedding dress.
"So, you want to tell us now or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?" Monica asks. Rachel then started to explain how she didn't find her fiance attractive and she couldn't go through with the wedding.
"You're the only person I knew who lived in the city." Rachel looks at Monica with her eyes full of hope.
"Who wasn't invited to the wedding." Monica points out.
"Oh, I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue."
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The gang was back in Monica's apartment watching some Spanish soap opera as Rachel used the phone to call her father. She was trying to explain to him why she didn't go through with the wedding, but he wouldn't listen. Their conversation ended with her moving in with Monica and having her money supply get cut off.
The girls were trying to comfort Rachel over on the couch, while the guys were hanging out in the kitchen. The intercom buzzed and Heather answered it, Monica telling her to let the guy up.
"Wait, your 'not a real date' is with Paul the wine guy?" Joey asks. Monica nods her head excitedly as Paul knocks on the door. She introduces Paul to everyone and they go and sit on the couch, while the others sit in the kitchen.
"If you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture." Ross says to Rachel, but she declines, wanting to be alone for the night.
"Pheebs, Heather, you want to help?" Joey asks the two blondes.
"Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to." Phoebe says, shrugging her shoulders.
"I'll come, but I'm not helping." Heather says and smiles at her best friend.
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"This was Carol's favorite beer." Ross says as he holds up a can of beer. Heather puts the directions on how to build the bookcase down and takes the beer from Ross.
"So, Carol got the furniture, the stereo, the good tv. What did you get?" Joey asks Ross.
"You guys."
"You got screwed." Chandler says, Joey and Heather agreeing with him.
"You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody? What if you get one woman and that's it?" Ross sighs.
"Well if that's the case, then I call Phoebe." Heather says and Chandler shakes his head in amusement.
"What are you talking about? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you." Joey says, walking out of the kitchen and handing everyone a beer. "Let me tell you something Ross, there's a lot of flavors out there. Rocky road, cookie dough, cherry vanilla, you can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream. This is the best thing that ever happened to you. Welcome back to the world." Joey smiles.
"I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny." Ross says and Heather scrunches up her nose in disgust.
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The next morning, Rachel brought out three cups of coffee for Chandler, Joey and Heather. They were sitting at Monica's kitchen table, contemplating on actually trying Rachel's coffee since she had never made any before. The three tasted the coffee and immediately poured it into the potted plant in the center of the table when she wasn't looking.
Paul walked out of Monica's room, right behind Monica, both of them avoiding eye contact with the rest of the group. She let Paul out and sighed, waiting for someone to say something.
"That wasn't a real date. What do you do on a real date?" Joey asks. Chandler gets up saying he needs to get to work, but stops when Rachel starts talking.
"So, you guys all have jobs?" Rachel asks. She was born into a rich family and had never worked a day in her life.
"That's how we buy stuff." Monica explains.
"Yeah, I'm an actor." Joey says.
"Have I seen you in anything?" Rachel asks, Joey's smile fading a little.
"Doubt it. Mostly regional work." Joey sighs. He still hasn't gotten his big break and Heather honestly felt a little bad for him.
"What do you do Heather?" Rachel asks the girl who was leaning her head on joey's shoulder.
"I'm a dancer and choreographer." Heather smiles. She had been a dancer since she was four years old and was so happy when she got the opportunity to start doing it as a real job.
"Wow! That's so cool." Rachel smiles.
"Yeah, yeah, we get it, you're a big star." Joey jokes and pulls Heather in for a hug. Chandler, Joey, and Heather walk out of Monica and Rachel's apartment, heading separate ways to go to work.
After a long day, everyone was back at Monica's. They were forcing Rachel to cut all of her credit cards, so she could finally be free from her father's money and rules. She did it after being pressured by her new friends.
"Welcome to the real world, it sucks."
a/n I'm excited for this.
update; changes were made. updates will be often since this is being pre-written :)