7 - Tsunami
Kakyoin wasn't too sure how he should react. Watching Jotaro pack his bags was painful. Jotaro zipped his luggage up and sat down to rest, sighing through his nose. He take off his hat, freeing the ink black curls, ruffling it with a hand before placing the hat on his head once more.
"What time do you leave?" Kakyoin asks.
"7 o' clock." Jotaro replied for the 6th time that hour. "It's still early. Want to go somewhere for lunch?"
Kakyoin pulls his legs to his chest, already panicking a little. Jotaro's eyes don't leave Kakyoin.
"We don't have to do anything you don't want to. It's up to you,"Jotaro coaxes. "I'm still here for a few more hours."
"I know. I know." Kakyoin fiddles with his earrings, trying hard not to fidget excessively.
Lonely.
Lonely.
Lonely.
Kakyoin forcefully works his mouth into a smile, grabbing Jotaro's hat, placing it upon his head. "Fine. I'm gonna be alright. I'm not lonely."
Jotaro didn't know how to make his departure easier for Kakyoin. He wished he knew how to handle such a situation, so that he could stop Kakyoin from crying. Jotaro hated it when Kakyoin cries because of him.
"Let's go for a walk." Jotaro places both hands on Kakyoin's shoulders, unable to check his expression from under the cover of the bill of the hat. "Get some air."
"...Ok."
After an hour, Kakyoin and Jotaro end up with an ice cream each. Cherry for Kakyoin and plain vanilla for Jotaro. And by this time, Kakyoin had calmed down a little, his posture more relaxed and his fidgeting ceased.
"Kakyoin."
"Yeah?"
"Are you afraid of the ocean?"
Kakyoin wondered what that had to do with anything, but stopped short of replying when he suddenly heard the faint sound of crashing waves. They were near the beach. Kakyoin should be trembling, should be shaking in his shoes, crying on the floor - but he was fine.
"Why do you ask?" A ink black eyebrow raised, Jotaro befuddled.
"When I came back for the first time from university, you refused to go near the ocean. We can turn back now if you wish." Honestly, Kakyoin was a little scared. But, he wanted to see that unique twinkle in Jotaro's eye one more time before he would leave for another year. Or more.
"Let's go to the beach." Jotaro blinks.
"You sure?"
Kakyoin grabs Jotaro's hand and yanks him forward, dashing for the beach.
Every second had to count. Every moment had to be used up to the fullest.
The sea breeze was frosty, since it was still December, and a little snow still lay around the side of the road just before it started into sand. Kakyoin doesn't release Jotaro's hand until he's at the edge of the water, the waves barely licking his shoes.
"Kakyoin, are you sure? I don't mind if we go and head off elsewhere to -"
"I want to." Kakyoin's eyes lock with Jotaro's. His lavender eyes stern, his decision firm. "It's far too cold to swim. Let's just talk a walk along the beach."
Jotaro doesn't reply.
They take their time, making small talk as they stroll, picking up shards of sea glass or broken shells from the sand. In all honesty, Kakyoin felt sick. The salty sea breeze made him nauseous and the rolling waves made him a little dizzy. But from Jotaro's point of view, Kakyoin looked alright, not wobbling or stumbling.
"I thought you were afraid of the ocean," Jotaro bends down to pick up a sea shell. "Or are you braving it for me?"
"I don't know," Kakyoin kicks a piece of driftwood back to the ocean, the waves gobbled it down. "I just needed this."
Jotaro wanted to pry, but from the sad look on Kakyoin's face, he figured that it would be unwise to do so. They head back after an hour. It was time to go.
It was like that time when Jotaro was going to leave for University for the first time, all those years ago. The same unnerving feeling, the same worrying thoughts, the same nail-biting anxiousness of what would happen without him, the same sadness, the same feeling. Jotaro had just checked in his luggage and he was ready to head inside the terminal. Kakyoin yanks his hair noodle, impatient as Holly spoke to her son, saying her goodbyes as well. Kakyoin wrings his hands, what should he say? What should he do? Should he give him a hug, or tell him to come again or tell him that he would see him around or... or...
"Kakyoin." Jotaro's voice cuts through his thoughts like a knife through warm butter. Kakyoin jumps. "Are you really ok there? You look pale." Jotaro reaches out for Kakyoin's face, but his hand drops back to his side as he was just about to touch Kakyoin's cheek. Kakyoin feels fire in his face and sick to his stomach.
"I will miss you," Kakyoin sputters. "Be safe. Don't forget to call your mother from time to time. Me as well. Keep in touch. Please." Kakyoin was going to cry. He could feel the warm tears pooling and he looked down to hide his face. Jotaro bends down, looks up at Kakyoin's face, and gives the most reassuring smile.
"Don't worry, I will call." Jotaro places a hand on Kakyoin's shoulder, making the red head look at him. The tears ruining the foundation, revealing scars. "I had a great time back home, thanks to you. I will definitely visit next year. I promise you. I will do my best to come back as soon as I can."
Kakyoin watches Jotaro's eyes wink in the light, his small smile lingering, beautiful as ever.
This was something he wished he could paint, but can't.
The flutter of Jotaro's lashes brings Kakyoin back down to earth, and he pulls Jotaro in for a short hug, and wipes his eyes, the foundation one huge smear across his face. "I guess it's time to go. Don't be late. Take good care."
Jotaro nods, tugs his hat, same ole' habit, and walks past the gates. Kakyoin waves, and Jotaro waves back at him and his mother. The crowd swallows the boy, and Kakyoin sobs. Holly, shocked, quickly jumps over to console him as best as she could, patting his back and whispering kind words that, unfortunately, didn't make it past Kakyoin's ears.
"I'm by the sea. By the sea. I'm by the sea. By the se-" Kakyoin slams the mute button on the car radio. The song was getting annoying. It had been 4 years since that Christmas, and at the moment, Kakyoin was 26 years old, and had graduated from university. Now, he sold his artworks to support himself, but worked part time at a flower shop to ensure that he had other means to survive if he found no interested commissioners or buyers. Jotaro had kept his promise, and had visited the year after that Christmas. But only for 3 days. It was far too short to Kakyoin's liking, but a visit was a visit and the promise was kept. But another 3 years zipped by without the blue-eyed man visiting. He had stopped calling too, only the occasional email once a week or maybe even not even a single one after a month or so.
It was tough.
To help cope with all those terrible emotions, he painted and painted when he felt like he was going to have a panic attack and pass out. And so, most of his free time was devoted to painting more and more and more of his 'blue-eyed men'.
It was terrifying.
Suddenly braving it all alone again. The crashing waves trying to swallow him, the sand rising above him, engulfing him, the undertow far too strong and the pull of the waves, monstrous. Day after day, night after night. Yasuho had managed to drag Kakyoin to a therapist some months ago, or some guy who so claimed that he could diagnose the red head and help him out. Kakyoin doubted it.
"Well, from what you've told me, I say you have a little bit of depression." That was beyond obvious, unless the eye bags and the sour aura and limp posture suggested pure joy. "But also, your fear of the ocean is particularly interesting. You are diverting your true fear onto another object, another thing. In other words, you are substituting your greatest fear with the fear of the ocean."
Kakyoin remembered laughing. It sounded ridiculous. The man in the armchair clenched his fists, obviously not happy with that reaction.
"What this means is that, you are avoiding your true fear. I need you to tell me why you associate this fear of whatever it is, to the ocean. Mind telling me if you have any idea what your true fear is?"
Kakyoin was very much done speaking with this man. His smug face ticked him off. As if he knew anything. But Yasuho was determined to help Kakyoin solve his problem, and yanked him back into the armchair as he rose to take his in permitted leave. Kakyoin truly didn't know anything he feared of besides the sea. He had already explained that he had once enjoyed that waters, but after something, he could no longer set foot into the beautiful ocean again.
"You sure? Maybe the color blue has something to do with it. Maybe something with a color that reminds you of the sea? An object related to it? A boat? An anchor? A fish?" The man taps his pen against his plastic clipboard, the sound rings in the room. Kakyoin gets agitated, but he racks his brain for answers. Blue, blue, ocean blue.
Jotaro's eyes were blue.
His blue-eyed men's eyes were blue.
His favorite pen was blue.
His notepad was blue.
A fair amount of blue surrounded him.
"A own a lot of blue things. My friend has blue eyes. He's a marine biologist, trying to get his doctorate."
"Ah, so the items... are they marine life related or anything to do with the sea? And have you had a bad fight with that friend in the past or something?" The man's ugly brown eyes trained on Kakyoin, whose brows furrowed in annoyance. He was getting ticked off.
"The items are just blue in color. My friend and I have never fought." Lies. He had fought with him that day when he had the flesh bud. (Alright, half lie) "I think we are done here."
"Now, now. I haven't finished." Kakyoin turns around, frowning."Even if you don't want to hear anymore, just do this one thing to confirm your true fear. Take any item that relates to the ocean, anything you own and see day to day. Including your friend. Take them there, take those items and walk out to sea. Observe the reactions. If you are ever in doubt or have questions, I'm available from 7 to 8pm." The man gets up from the chair, and Kakyoin leaves with Yasuho in tow.
Despite Kakyoin's stubbornness and begrudging attitude, he heeded the advice, and set of on a Saturday morning with a bag full of items that reminded him of the ocean or were blue in color. It was still dark, the sun had not yet risen, and the clock read 4. Kakyoin didn't want to get spotted by anyone, in fear that he may embarrass himself. He parks and stands there, next to his car, taking in the scenery and enjoying the sea breeze. The sun was going to peak out from the horizon soon, the sky slowly brightening, the black of night melting away, giving way to a wonderful syrupy orange-pink. Kakyoin shuts the car door and trudged forward in his slippers, stopping before the threshold of sand.
He had second thoughts, now. Maybe this was a stupid idea. Maybe he shouldn't have even considered this. What would Jotaro think of this idea?
'It's too much trouble,' he could almost hear his baritone rumbling, his hat-tugging and lazy-eyed gaze. 'It may not even bear good results, or any at all.'
Kakyoin laughs to himself, and panic sets in. The sand underfoot felt like walking through ashes, the sound of waves sounded like screams, the breeze felt too icy. When had he set foot into the sand? When had he walked out to the waves? His heels were wet, waves licking his heels, his toes curling.
When?
When?
Kakyoin starts running for his car, and he felt the waves crash onto his legs, as if the ocean was trying to drag him to the depths.
"Hierophant!" The green colored stand appeared upon command, hands angled, green goo swirling between its palms.
Kakyoin fires several waves of Emerald Splashes, the attack uselessly piercing the water. Kakyoin runs, sand flies everywhere, he tripped, too. He scrambled the rest of the way, clawing through the sand, almost scratching his palm against sea glass and a broken bottle. His hand clings tight around the car door handle, huffing and puffing, sweat gluing his hair to his sand-coated face. He looked back at the sea, the waves looking calmer than he remembered. Bits of pink and purple peeked from the horizon, the sky dissolving from that tangy orange to a calm blue. Kakyoin feels a whine rising from the back of his throat, his feet rooted to the ground.
Ocean.
Ocean.
The ocean.
Kakyoin wanted to leave. He didn't care if any of the items he brought actually affected him. He didn't want to know. If stepping out there caused such an effect on him, who knows what would become of him if he found the cause of his fear. Kakyoin hurriedly brushes himself off, leaping into his car, speeding off.
Kakyoin wipes the counter, cleaning up the droplets of water. The flower shop was empty, as usual. Not the least bit busy, allowing Kakyoin some time to sketch. It had been days since the visit to the ocean, and for each night since then until now, he lay wide awake in his futon, unable to relax. If he did manage to slip into a sleep of pure exhaustion, he would wake up in cold sweat, any memory of his nightmare wiped from his mind. The pencil halts, and Kakyoin didn't feel like drawing anymore. A customer came at around 7, requesting for daffodils, and once she had left, Kakyoin closed shop.
To Kakyoin's absolute delight, he received an email from Jotaro the next day. He wiggled about in his seat on his bed, eagerly clicking on the email.
'Hey Kakyoin. I was wondering if you are free next week. I will be coming over to visit in a few days. Reply soon, so that I can make the arrangements
-Jotaro'
Kakyoin nearly bursts with all the joy bubbling in him. He sets down his computer to hop around his room with joy, only stopping a minute later to shakily type out a reply.
'I'm free! I hope to see you soon, Jotaro! :)'
Kakyoin couldn't decide wether that smiley face was a good idea or not. But the strange, almost urgent tone of Jotaro's email set him on edge. Was there something wrong at home?
In the next following days, Kakyoin was all smiles, his paintings were showing promising progress, and the customers were streaming in after taking one look at the smiling red head attending to the flower shop. Jotaro was coming.
After lunch, Kakyoin set off to get groceries and a gift for Jotaro. He was going to touch down at about 3 o' clock in 3 days' time. Kakyoin couldn't wait a moment longer. Kakyoin had thought on giving Jotaro a painting or a sketch, but decided that would be too lame, since he already gave him a painting. Now that he remembered, his scrapbook was filling up quite nicely. He was almost done, almost at the end where that intriguing envelope await him. The pictures was mostly of scenery and photos of his paintings he thought were exceptionally well done. A picture of him and Yasuho at their graduation ceremony, and one of him and Mrs Kujo on one of his later visits. She was doing well, but still had a lingering blanket of sadness draped across her shoulders. She missed her son very much. Kakyoin settles on just grabbing his groceries. The gift would have to wait.
Jotaro was hard to miss. The white hat and coat all but stood out of the crowd of people in black and vibrant hues. Kakyoin nearly yelled, Holly almost cried.
Jotaro gives his mother a warm hug and a smile, then goes in for a rougher bear hug with Kakyoin, throwing a fond smile his way.
"Hey. Sorry I was away for a long time. Had an important project to complete. Next year, I will receive my thesis assignment that will get me my doctorate. I hope I didn't cause anything while I was away." Jotaro looks at Holly, his expression strained, a little sad. Holly sobs and grabs onto Jotaro's jacket.
"Let's go home."
The Kujo residence was as lovely as always. Smelled like flowers and the air was crisp, cozy and warm. It felt different once Kakyoin saw Jotaro's shoes sitting by the door mat and his coat hanging on the coatrack. He was home. He was here.
Jotaro was in that turtleneck despite it being the middle of summer. Kakyoin felt himself frowning when he realized how much thinner Jotaro was. The bulging muscles he once had now seemed to have vanished. Jotaro was still very fit, yes, but in a leaner way than he once was. Jotaro caught Kakyoin staring, and he gives a nod, motioning for him to come along. Kakyoin throws back a smile, walking to Jotaro's room.
"How have you been?" It was such a simple way of starting the conversation. 4 years without hearing the boy he so admired, speak. "I hope you have doing well in your marine biology studies."
"It's going along fine." Jotaro lifts his hat off his head, his hair bouncing with the action, black lashes fluttered with every blink, almost like he was flicking off stardust. "How about you? Have your works been selling?"
Kakyoin shrugs. Jotaro sighs through his nose.
"So... made any new friends? Anything new?" Jotaro asks. Why was it so awkward now? Was something the matter? Kakyoin shrugs again.
"Not really. Just Yasuho. It's still awful hard to be friends with just anyone. Non-stand users, especially. It's still a battle for me." Kakyoin lay down in Jotaro's futon, untouched ever since he left 4 years back. Jotaro nods.
"Well, same here I suppose. You are the only reasonable guy around." Jotaro's tinkling giggle comes from outer space or somewhere beyond. Kakyoin feels himself blush. "Ahh. I'm so tired of everything, Kakyoin."
This was new. Jotaro, as far as Kakyoin knew, was never without a single crack in his form. Never showing weakness nor exhaustion. "What is so tiring?" Kakyoin was almost too scared to ask.
"School, and work. Internship is paying me fine, but school is still working my ass off. I'm blowing my brains for this dream of mine." Jotaro plays with the sleeve of his turtleneck, pushing it up and down his arm. "I wish I could just live peacefully, and do what I love to do in my own time and pace. Stand users have been popping up everywhere, too, causing trouble and the like. I stop them, and Speedwagon comes over to handle the rest if I call them over." Jotaro pats his pants pocket, but withdraws when he finds it empty.
"Still couldn't kick the habit?" Kakyoin jokes. The atmosphere was lazy, tired, almost unenthusiastic despite how happy Kakyoin was to sit next to Jotaro. Same went for Jotaro.
"I kinda did." Jotaro brings a finger to his lips, Kakyoin observes the way the flesh was tugged by Jotaro dragging his finger over his lips, as if something that belonged there went missing. "But not totally out of the habit. A few months was my best so far. But work and school drive me to take a puff or two once in a while."
"Why didn't you tell me? I would have stopped pestering you with my emails."
"You don't pester me at all. And, I didn't want you to worry. You have enough on your plate."
"What do I have on my plate? If you needed my help, all you had to do was ask and I would come flying to your aid." Jotaro sighs, and the smallest of grins appeared.
"Yeah. Exactly." Even as Kakyoin left for his apartment, he still couldn't understand what Jotaro had meant.
It was all strangely inviting yet frightening. Jotaro stood knee deep in the water, the gentle light of dawn casting a heavenly glow onto Jotaro's built body, despite how much muscle he lost. Jotaro pushes the water around with his hands, making quiet splashing noises. Kakyoin stood, toes curled into the sand, watching Jotaro idle. It was still pretty dark, and Jotaro couldn't see a thing in the waters, so he now, with his snorkel and goggles hanging from his neck, dripping with water, he waited for the sun to rise to a better height. Kakyoin wished he had the courage to wade in with Jotaro, like he once had. But the ocean would swallow him, would eat him alive. So, Kakyoin tried counting stars in the sky to avoid counting the water droplets rolling down the expanse of Jotaro's back.
"How's the water?" Kakyoin calls out to Jotaro.
"It's fine. A little cold of course. It's still early February." Jotaro turns his head a little, flinging water from his hair. "Are you sure you don't want to join me?"
Kakyoin gulped. Oh, he wished he could. Even if Jotaro wasn't there, even if it was meaningless to do so, Kakyoin wished his fear was non-existent so he could just enjoy a calming dip in the ocean. In response to Jotaro's offer, Kakyoin shakes his head. He could watch just fine. Something dulls in Jotaro's eyes.
Kakyoin chose to ignore it.
When 5 became 6 am, Jotaro was down below the waves. The sun was now rising, pink and purple sky, yellow clouds, streaks of light. Kakyoin took a picture and sketched out the scene with his color pencils. Jotaro emerged minutes later in all his glory. Kakyoin welcomed the site of Jotaro's dripping body with open arms. He was awfully anatomically pleasing, with his wonderful muscle structure, jutting hipbones and the lovely arch of his back. Jotaro slicks his hair back, out of his eyes, that certain lock of curled black fell forward in front of his face as if it was all calculated.
"There isn't much to see. No jellyfish around. Not even a crab." Jotaro murmurs. Kakyoin could feel himself melting from the voice alone. Jotaro leaned over, careful not to let his dripping body or hair wet the sketchbook in Kakyoin's hands. "That's pretty. All your works are." Jotaro's eyes fixed on Kakyoin's sketch, taking in every detail, every stroke. Kakyoin watched those irises of oceanic blue tumble and sparkle with interest.
"Would you like me to draw you?" It was a stupid question, because Kakyoin had done so so many times. So many, that it should be pointless to ask. "You have a beautiful face, you know?And you have the most crystal clear eyes." Kakyoin wanted to nab those words back, and shove them down a hole in the ground. Maybe bury them at the centre of the earth.
To Kakyoin's confusion, Jotaro chuckles. "So I've been told. It's an artist thing, isn't it?" Jotaro wasn't smiling, but that dancing light was in his eyes. "I don't mind."
Kakyoin wanted to tell him that his blue-eyed men were indeed portraits of Jotaro himself, that he had been perfecting his painting techniques and all that whatnot to do the real Jotaro justice. Of course, perfection was hard to capture and put onto canvas. Jotaro was now looking away, watching the sun rise.
"Kakyoin..." Jotaro sits next to the red head, voice going soft, relaxing into a mellow rumble. Kakyoin tenses. "I'm sorry."
Why?
"I've been neglecting contact with you and mom. And that's... not a smart thing, not a good thing. I want to properly apologize. I didn't mean to. School has been really hard on me these days. These years. I know my visit was a random event and I wished I could have alerted you guys earlier, but school, again. It must have been very hard on you. I know what happens. I do." Jotaro stares at Kakyoin, into Kakyoin, as if searching for a response. When he found none, he sighed, hand reaching for his cap which was not there, and continues."I want to make it up to you. I want to make up for all those times you cried alone or nearly suffocate on your floor. I want to make sure you are going to be alright when I leave Japan. I want you to be safe and well." The ocean tumbles and crashes. Kakyoin looks away, unsure of how he should respond. "This isn't an effort to relieve guilty conscious. I really mean it. And when I say I will do something, consider it already done. We can start small, however you like. I don't care. I will do it for you."
Kakyoin stares out to the horizon, heart racing, blood rushing to his face.
I will do it for you.
He couldn't possibly look at Jotaro then. If that didn't sound like a confession... But this was Jotaro saying it. How intimate could it possibly be? Jotaro places a hand over Kakyoin's earning a gasp and sending a glorious shiver down Kakyoin's spine.
"Kakyoin, if there is anything you need, please." Kakyoin stares into Jotaro's eyes. It's all he really sees, really. Those eyes were crashing, a speck of worry trembling in the corner. Jotaro was being so nice, so soft, so intimate, so close... Kakyoin wanted to...
Jotaro squeezes his hand, that action desperate. Jotaro's brows bunch together, that foreign expression settling in, slowly solidifying. He was so, so, vulnerable and docile. So soft hearted at that very moment.
It was almost primal, the movement. Kakyoin tackled Jotaro into the sand, hovering over him and his broad chest.
"I... I want..." Kakyoin couldn't bring himself to admit anything. Tears blur his vision, and fell onto Jotaro's chest. Jotaro's eyes widen, his lips slightly apart, the slightest hint of shock on his wonderful face. That vulnerable vibe. That taunting moment. Kakyoin slowly lowered himself, allowing himself to bury his face into the crook of Jotaro's neck. Jotaro, perplexed, wrapped an around Kakyoin, and as usual, wishing he knew what Kakyoin needed the most at the moment. Kakyoin suddenly broke down crying, the crashing of the waves growing louder and louder as his grip on consciousness grew weaker and weaker.
He feel asleep.
Jotaro took Kakyoin to his house, and surprisingly, Holly wasn't home at such an early hour. Jotaro suspected that she would still be asleep at a time like this, but apparently, she had plans. Jotaro cradled Kakyoin's sleeping body over to his room, lay him down on the futon, and went to the guest room to grab an extra blanket. Jotaro's mind was full, his stomach empty. Kakyoin hadn't finished his sentence, what he wanted from Jotaro. Jotaro knew that he should prepare to give as much as he physically and mentally could to make it up to his friend. He could only imagine how cracked and broken Kakyoin was.
But Kakyoin was not a glass doll either.
He had pride, ego, bravado, and that interesting way he carried himself in front of everyone, always the picture of a good boy, attitude of an honor student. Jotaro admired Kakyoin for his strength, for he who looked so prim and proper in front of everyone, came home a sobbing mess because of Jotaro. If plasters could mend Kakyoin's feelings, Jotaro would have bought a truckload. If there was anything he had ever regretted in his past 26 years of living, it would be treating his mother the way he used to and abandoning Kakyoin when he needed him the most.
When Kakyoin woke up, he found Jotaro in the living room, sprawled on the too-small-couch, sleeping soundly. Soft snores that came from the man filled the room. Kakyoin smiled at the sight, secretly wishing he could just crawl right between his arms, and rest his head against Jotaro's chest.
To feel that safety, that reassurance, that the ocean wouldn't get him. Not once, not ever. But the ocean could never really truly leave him.
Kakyoin finds Holly sitting at the dining table, knitting something. She noticed Kakyoin walking into the room, and offered Kakyoin a smile, gesturing with her hand to take a seat in front of her.
Holly leans in a little and whispers, "Thank you, Kakyoin."
"What for?"
"Taking Jotaro to the beach. It really made him happy. I was surprised to find out that you were afraid of the ocean from my father, and that you and Jotaro hadn't been to the sea ever since. According to the little I know, Jotaro hasn't gone to the ocean ever since then either. Unless, of course, school required that of him." Holly sets down the scrap of wool she was knitting, sighing. Wether it was a sigh of sadness or relief, Kakyoin couldn't tell. The crows feet on the edges of Holly's eyes crinkled as her lips falls into a smile. "I'm sure that when you agreed to go with him today, he was ecstatic, despite how unenthusiastic he must have appeared. You know Jotaro, he thinks everyone knows what he's feeling by looking at his expressionless face."
Kakyoin swivels his head to the couch, where Jotaro slept soundly, a small tug on his lips. Kakyoin blushes with the lingering thought that he had made Jotaro happy. But his heart sank when he realized he had kept Jotaro from what he loved the most.
"But... why would he stop going to the ocean all of a sudden like that? If anyone would take the chance to just live in the ocean, to spend every waking moment under the waves, it would be JoJo!" Kakyoin gesticulated wildly, half yelling, half whispering. "I don't understand him, at all. I've been his friend for so long and I can't seem to fully get him at all. It's terrible that he knows me so well, and treats me so well, and yet I can't even understand his feelings and pay him back for all he's done for me right!"
Holly places a hand over Kakyoin's. Kakyoin doesn't realize how hard he had been crying until Holly wiped a few tears from his face with a gentle hand.
"I felt the same way when that son of mine suddenly turned harsher, more gangster-like when he became 15. I wondered what I had done wrong, what mistake I had made, to make him say such things to me and act in such a way. But after a while, I understood. Well, I hope I had understood. It takes time with Jotaro. Funny boy, he is. Don't worry over anything. You two boys would be practically glued at the hip if it weren't for his overseas education. Kakyoin, thanks for being with Jotaro all these years. It must be awful hard for you with this long distance between you boys." Holly smiled fondly at Kakyoin, who was breathing through his open mouth, tears falling and nose runny. "I bet you are fed up with him. But, give Jotaro more time to settle down and think things through. Though he doesn't look it, he's quite the thinker. He is always thinking about something, trying to find solutions to his problems quietly. He doesn't want to ask for help because he doesn't want to trouble anyone or get bothered by people when he does. He does things in his own, strange way. When he wakes up, I suggest you take him out to grab a bite. Have a walk with him, let him get some air. Poor boy, all cooped up at school. He's lost so much muscle ever since he left... I trust that you will keep him company as you always do!" Holly's smile was warm like sunshine. She pats Kakyoin's hand, the action soft and gentle. Kakyoin's tears don't stop flowing, and his only reply was a shaky nod. Holly dabs the tears away with her sleeve, and sets a bowl of cherries which had been chilled in the fridge in front of him. She kisses his forehead and thanks him one more time before leaving the room. Kakyoin needed to be alone, and she acknowledged it.
Jotaro doesn't even stir until 2 in the afternoon. And when he did wake up, the first thing he did was feel around for his hat. Star Platinum's arm reaches over to grab the hat that had tumbled across the floor, Jotaro taking it and adjusting it back onto his head. He groaned before pushing himself off the bed to take a shower. The turtle neck was hot and stuffy and his long pants were not helping.
Kakyoin had been sitting in the garden, looking at Mrs Kujo's impressive array of flowers. He was sketching a butterfly that had landed on a leaf, when he heard rustling and footsteps approaching.
"Sorry. I was really tired." Jotaro.
Kakyoin shakes his head, a small grin falling into place. "It's fine. I managed to catch up a little with your mother while you were asleep. She seems to be doing well." Kakyoin closed the sketchbook and turned to face the other. Jotaro had a small towel over his head, a singlet and dry-fit shorts that stopped at his knees. He still looked amazing. Kakyoin smile grew a little. "So, any plans? And arn't you cold? I know winter is coming to a close but, with the wet hair and the get up?"
Jotaro rubbed his hair with the towel, droplets of water landed on Kakyoin. "Not really that cold. And I got nothing in mind right now." He took a seat next to Kakyoin, shoulder brushing shoulder, and eyes still locked with Kakyoin's. They spent the rest of the day sitting together, quietly, before Kakyoin left.
Jotaro wasn't confident, wasn't sure if telling Kakyoin the true motive behind his visit was a good idea, maybe the timing was bad. But yes, he really, really, did want to see Kakyoin again. Jotaro smooths his hair back before placing his hat on his head, grabbing his keys to head off to meet Kakyoin at his workplace. As he walked, he thought how it was a bit sad that Kakyoin wasn't able to become a full time artist like how he always dreamed to be. To see the artistic red head being cooped up in a flower shop instead of putting paint on canvases was a true shame. Kakyoin should be very well known, with commissioners scrambling over each other to request a painting from the most talented man around. But looking at the number of commissioners and amount paintings he has sold to date, Jotaro figured getting a part time job was very reasonable.
The flower shop was tucked in between a convenience store and a pawn shop (which was a very strange sight to behold) and had a row of flower pots, full of vibrantly colored flowers outside the shop. From where he stood, Jotaro could see Kakyoin leaning over the counter, looking awfully bored. The bell hanging over the door chimes and Kakyoin plastered on a smile, as if he was programmed to, and with the jolliest tone he could manage, he blindly greeted, "Welcome! How may I help you, sir?"
And Kakyoin's false smile transformed when he finally opened his eyes to see Jotaro walking through the glass door. Jotaro swore Kakyoin's lavender eyes twinkled. Jotaro nods in greeting, Kakyoin waves.
"What brings you here?"
"Nothing to do at home. Thought I'd drop by." Jotaro walks up to the counter, now having a better view of the deep green apron with the flower shop's logo printed on top of the left breast. It made Kakyoin's hair stand out pleasantly so. Kakyoin nods, "But I don't think I can allow you to stay for too long. I'm at work and stuff. Don't think my boss would like it if she found me chatting while I'm supposed to be on shift."
Jotaro gave one solid shrug before leaning against the counter. "When does your shift end?"
"In about 2 hours. So, go do whatever during that time. I really don't think you should stick around too long, unless you're actually here to buy some flowers." Ever the obedient one. "Besides that, I have to meet up with someone before dinner. Someone is interested in commissioning me and would like to personally discuss with me! It's been ages since I was last commissioned."
"That's great." Jotaro's dark lashes flutter. "So I guess you are too busy today. That's fine. Maybe tomorrow." Kakyoin looks down at his folded hands and nods a little. Jotaro shrugs, almost as if he needed to carry out the movement to avoid too awkward an atmosphere. "Bye."
"Goodbye." Kakyoin waves as Jotaro leaves, the bell screaming in his ears as it rattled against the glass door. The word still laying heavy on his tongue. "See you."
They met up again 2 days later, since Kakyoin was far too busy the day after with another commissioner that popped up to meet with Jotaro. At the moment, the two of them were sitting on a huge rock at the beach, legs hanging off the cliff-like edge. Kakyoin was having an ice cream (it was vanilla), and Jotaro was having a smoke. Kakyoin concerned that Jotaro was stressed, and had asked about it to which the man's dark furrowed brows relaxed, and shook his head 'no'.
"I need to tell you some... news. The reason why I came back so suddenly. I'm not too sure how to say this..." Jotaro's cigarette bobs up and down between his soft lips. Kakyoin nodded blindly, the cigarette and Jotaro's lips snagging most of his attention.
During those few seconds that felt like millennia, Jotaro sighed, smoke billowing from his nostrils, his brows pinched together, his eyes screwed shut as if he had encountered some sort of nuisance, some annoying problem. Kakyoin started to worry. What was wrong? Was it something bad? Was Holly ill? Was Joseph ill? Had some financial crisis occurred? Kakyoin was about to reach out and demand Jotaro to tell him right now what was going on. But before Kakyoin could even twitch, Jotaro locked gazes wth Kakyoin, as if he could tell what Kakyoin was thinking about. The oceanic blue rocks and tumbles with stardust, the glow of it sent shivers down Kakyoin's back. He wished he knew if that glow and stare was a good or bad sign. Jotaro lowered his gaze once he saw Kakyoin seize up, jamming the smoldering butt of the cigarette onto the rock, snuffing it out.
The next few words that Jotaro delivered in that deep and steady voice he always had, felt like the entire universe suddenly rested upon his heart, crushing it like the most fragile eggshell. The words so strong, it was almost like one of Star Platinum's punches, sending Kakyoin physically reeling back. His mind was wiped clean of anything else but those words, repeating over and over and over. His mouth agape, the thousands of questions, the multitude of things he wanted to say, all died on his lips. Kakyoin tried his best not to look surprised. Tried his best not to crack his current mask of normality. Tried his best not to cry. Tried his best not to scream. Tried his best to utter at least a humane response. And most of all, Kakyoin tried his best not to look directly into those beautiful ocean blue eyes that sparkled with stardust.
"Kakyoin, I'm getting married."