“If the stars say that you couldn’t love me,
Are you telling me that you would listen?
If the words make their way from your mouth,
Don’t ask my permission,
All is forgiven.
If the stars say that you can not love.
(The stars keep this fire from burning on)
If the stars say that you can not love me.”
Chapter Fourteen - “Star Crossed”
BALT
After getting into the “safe house” (as Bernadette was calling it), we let Harmony put Immi into one of the bedrooms. She'd fallen asleep whilst we were driving. None of us had wanted to disturb her, she'd had a rough day and she looked so peaceful.
Sitting on wooden boxes, no-one was speaking. No-one knew what to say or how to react. Harmony was fuming, Marcus looked upset and the rest of us were confused. Gustav... well, I couldn't tell how he was feeling. He was wearing a poker face. Even Bernadette looked uncomfortable.
When the door clicked open, all of our heads turned to face Harmony. Her face was set into a deep scowl and she looked extremely pissed off. It was pretty scary.
“Harmony, I can explain!” Bernadette stood up almost immediately. This definitely wasn't the Bernadette, or 'Neferet', we'd seen earlier. This person was almost cowering.
“Start, because you're not going anywhere near Immi until you do. You died!” Harmony screamed. I could see that she was extremely protective of Immi, no doubt of Emily and Caroline too.
“I-I-I got a choice... and I knew something was going to happen and I-” Bernadette stammered. She looked fearful of Harmony.
“You sold your soul!” Harmony roared. My eyes widened. Bernadette... sold her soul? So she was an angel? It was impossible! Angels weren't capable of that! They were too proud of their heritage!
“I-I... yeah. I did, okay! I'm not proud of it but I had to!”
“Had to? Had to? You defied the laws! Once we die, we die! There's no reason for us to exist anymore!”
“I wasn't going to leave Heaven or Earth without Marcus! And definitely not without Dimitri gone!” Bernadette screamed back. Already, she seemed devoted to Marcus... but she hadn't turned up to our house. And I don't think she'd met up with him either... I wasn't too sure about that though.
“You sold yourself because of a demon? A demon?” Harmony shrieked with disbelief. I rolled my eyes at her behaviour. We weren't that bad! And Marcus was a perfectly nice guy - I had no doubts that he would've protected Bernadette to the end.
“He's my soul mate! My other half! You'd do the same for Franklin, wouldn't you?”
“Franklin is an angel! He isn't a murderer!” Wow. She really wasn't holding back, was she?
“I know who Marcus is! I spent time with Marcus! I love Marcus!” I saw Bernadette take in a deep breath and rub her forehead tiredly. She took a moment to compose herself before taking the floor, again. “Look, I know what Dimtri's little followers are capable of. I've had to work for Shax for the past hundred years or so. I sold my soul because I didn't want my sisters to die!”
“We are not your sisters. Not anymore. You lost us the moment you sold your soul.”
“Why? Because I'm only half an angel? Harmony, we'll always be sisters, whether you like it or not. You need to deal with that fact.” By the surprised, yet proud, look on Marcus' face, I could see that this wasn't the way she used to act. Harmony's face also told me that - she looked surprised and horrified.
“Half an angel?” I asked, and this time I was surprised. I'd never heard of an angel selling their soul and I assumed she still would've been a full angel. That she would've kept her status... how wrong I was!
“Yeah... I'm half demon too.” Bernadette mumbled. I heard the angels gasping. How I could tell? None of the demons would gasp, they'd just scoff or laugh. Maybe even whoop, but none of us did. We were too confused... well, at least I was.
“What?” This time, Caroline screeched. “How... how could you want to be one of them?” Her face was a picture. You could see just how much she hated the idea of being a demon by the tone she used and by the way she looked at us like dirt. She was almost like Saria, just a different species.
“A disguise...” Gustav said, outloud. He still looked shocked but you could tell he was starting to understand. “You gave up being an angel to save your sisters? Why?”
“Sometimes you have to give up the things you love. This way, I can keep you all safe. How else do you think I kept Imogen away from Shax? Away from the Qeres?” She explained. Sitting down one one of the boxes, she took in a deep breath. “Around demons, they can't tell I'm an angel, around angels they can't tell I'm a demon. The only reason you were able to distinguish me was because of Harmony and... Marcus. This is my alter-ego.” She told us, pointing to herself and her appearance. Closing her eyes, I watched transfixed as her electric blue hair darkened and became a dark brown, almost black. Her eyes became onyx instead of the light green they were before and her skin darkened into a rich tan, like a Hispanic person.
“That's the Bernadette we knew, and preferred.” Gustav commented. He still didn't look too sure, though. It was almost like he was wary of her. Worried of what she might do.
Dragging her hands through her hair, she smiled slightly.
“Wouldn't you rather be that... Neferet person than a crappy angel?” Saria asked, genuinely interested. I wondered why. Glancing at Bernadette, I saw her frown. She didn't look exactly happy about the question.
“Why would I prefer to be someone who enjoys other's misery? I'd rather bring happiness.” She stated. I could see her examining Saria, I had no idea why. Her eyes switched to a bright green before flashing back. “I'm sure I've seen you around somewhere.... You look like someone I've seen before.”
“I've been to a lot of places.”
“There's something...” Bernadette squinted at Saria, studying her even further. “There's something about you that I just can't place! And I'm normally good at distinguishing people!”
Saria fidgeted under her gaze before glaring hatefully at her. “Quit staring or I'll make sure you can never stare again.” She threatened, poison filling her voice.
Bernadette continued to stare at her for a few seconds, before raising her eyebrows and sitting back. I could see that she'd figured out whatever she'd wanted to. She'd be more likely to blackmail Saria, instead of just... doing what an angel would. I had no idea but they seemed to either store the information or ask it straight to the person. I was sure they'd use it against them later...
“Look, I have no idea what you guys are doing but keeping her in the dark isn't going to work.” She stated. I noticed that she'd changed her appearance again. This time though, she was a mix between what I saw earlier and what she was a few minutes ago. Her eyes were still an onyx colour but her skin had lightened slightly. Her hair was also more of a dark blue, navy, rather than an almost black colour.
“And you think that telling Imogen she's an angel is the way to go?” Gustav looked at her skeptically. Bernadette tutted and shook her head.
“It would have been, if you'd just told her from the start. You wouldn't have needed to get everyone else involved.” Bernadette tipped the corners of her mouth downwards. She didn't look too pleased.
“Overloading her with information could've damaged her.” Gustav informed her. I was agreeing with Bernadette and I hadn't even heard her argument yet! If Immi had amnesia, surely it wouldn't have mattered? But it was more difficult now and we'd also been dragged in, and signed our lives away.
“She's an angel, Gustav, not a human.” Bernadette stated, her tone was as if she was speaking to a child who she was fed up with explaining something to.
“Angels' minds are fragile!” Gustav tried to argue back – it wasn't working well though. He wasn't exactly an angel himself, so he couldn't exactly exclaim that he was an expert on the subject.
“She could've handled being told she was an angel and- wait, what are you hoping to achieve?” Bernadette suddenly changed topic, like she'd realised something else.
“They're trying to get her wings back, obviously.” Saria sighed. “I didn't think you were that stupid.” Bernadette shot Saria a death glare.
“Yeah. We're trying to get her wings back.” Gustav repeated.
“And how are you hoping to achieve that? Looking through your files-” She started to say before being rudely interrupted.
“You went through my files? They're confidential!” Gustav screamed, furious. If he didn't want anyone to read his files, he should've hidden them.
“I didn't really care at that point. Anyway, all you're doing is recording her dreams and her actions and body language. You might as well just tell her the truth. For now you're just wasting your time, she's not going to remember her past life if you continue this... this 'mumbo jumbo'.”
None of us had heard the door open, or close, and none of us heard the soft patter of feet on the cold floor. Not until it was too late.
“Tell me the truth?” I heard her soft voice ask, confused. "And what wings?"