June 16, 2016
9:32 P.M.
Dear Diary
14 fucking days! It's been 14 fucking days since Corey talked to me and I feel like shit. I know when I decided to stay the plan was that he would stay out of my way but now I don't think I want him to. Ever since I stopped him from kissing me he hasn't said anything. I don't even get a chance to see him anymore. He leaves before I wake up and comes back when I'm sleep. I pushed him away and he fell back literally. I'm honestly starting to have second thoughts. I thought that maybe if we weren't around each other it wouldn't be a problem but it is. Every since he kissed me and I felt the feel of his dick rise. I've been having dreams. Not nightmares like I would normally have with Charles or my student but dreams of him actually fucking me. They won't stop either I wake up sweating because it's almost as if he's given my body a workout that it's never had. It's gotten to the point where my toys haven't been doing the trick. I can't tell Nicki because she'll probably just tell me to fuck him and get it over with. I don't know what is wrong with me! Why can't I just relax and let it flow? I'm so scared, what if he turns out to be just like Charles. Although so far he has kept his promises. I just don't want any trouble.
Signed
Beyoncé
Beyoncé clothed her Journal and cried. She was just so confused. The storm had come and gone. There weren't any hard feeling on her part yet and still she felt the hurt. She was hurt that things were so closed off. She had no reason to be hurt but she didn't know him that well.
She was more frustrated than sad. Sexual frustration was something else. She hated that fact that she wasn't still married because then she could sit on Charles dick but then she felt disgusted even thinking that. Maybe that was the problem . She needed dick. A real dick and not a toy. Beyoncé, looked around the dark room.
Tomorrow she would change, tomorrow she would get what she wanted.
*
*
*
June 17, 2016
9:45 A.M.
Shawn
Shawn cursed under his breath when he saw the time on the Clock. He forgot to set his alarm. Now he would have to face Beyoncé something he wasn't willing to do. He didn't necessarily know what time she woke and began her day but what he did know is he hadn't seen her in fourteen days. It was his way of not pushing her to do anything. He promised her he would stay out of her way so he was going keep his promise. He realized that things had went to far. He was there for a reason and he was going back to focus on that first before he did anything.
Slowly removing the sheets he began to stretch his body when he was fully uncovered. He listened carefully trying to depict any movement. He heard none so either she was sleep or she had started her day.
"Great," he said dryly hearing the special ringtone he had for his mother. He slide the bar over to answer the call but didn't mumble a word until she spoke.
"Shawn I know you're there." His mother said.
"Mom," He mumbled.
"Don't even, your brother has been calling you! Alexus too which mean you still haven't fixed this shit!"
"I didn't have to answer you either but I did" Shawn spoke angrily.
"Shawn, I just think you should get over it," his mother said nonchalantly.
"Get over it? I'm suppose to marry her after what she did?"
"Whatever she did couldn't have been that bad. You have us Carters looking crazy! Your dumbass is getting sued because she feels humiliated."
"She's only suing me because I have the money." Shawn did have the money. When his father died he left every single penny to Shawn. The business, the stocks, the accounts, the Cd's everything was left to Shawn Corey Carter. With his great heart he took care of his mom, his brother and Baby sister. Jaylin, his sister was different from his mom and brother she adored Shawn. She didn't have to deal with them because she attended Spellman College in Atlanta Georgia also they had the same father and different mothers. However, Shawn made sure anything she needed she was taken care of at his fathers request.
"If she wins we lose everything."
"Correction, I lose everything." He said.
"It doesn't matter! Marry her now."
"No tell your other son to."
"She loves you, Shawn!"
"No she loves my money, Alexus loves him."
"What?"
"She fucked him, been fucking him. Let him marry her skank ass. I don't want her."
"Come on Shawn y'all have always shared things. This is no different."
"Wow MS. CARTER, such a genius reply." He said dryly.
"Are you really going to let this family lose everything, because she fucked your brother? Negro if you don't man up and except the fact that your little dick just wasn't pleasing her and move on I'll personally kick your ass. Do you hear me?"
"Sometimes, I wonder why God cursed me with a mother like you. Incase you haven't notice I lost everything when my father died! This money don't mean Shit to me but everything for y'all. I say fuck it and fuck y'all! If she's suing let her I have proof. I tried to give y'all the benefit of the doubt even when Jaylin told me y'all didn't deserve me. But I didn't listen instead I took care of y'all ungrateful asses. Just for the record that bitch never in her life touched my dick. I'm cutting y'all asses off. Fuck y'all, don't call my phone no more Ms. Carter." Shawn said and hung up. This was it, he was done looking for love from his family. He didn't need them before and he didn't need them now. He was use to rejection. His family only excepted him when he was handing out money anyway.
He wouldn't fight for their love anymore it wasn't worth it. As long as he was breathing, he wouldn't fight for any bodies love.
*
*
*
Beyoncé
Beyoncé had been pampering herself all day. She didn't worry about the amount of money she spent she just enjoyed her self. She had looked up the different places she wanted to go to and went to every one of them.
Now done with her shopping she found herself sitting in a beauty salon.
The hair stylist looked at her hair and asked her what she wanted. Beyoncé showed her a style that was in a magazine and the stylist looked a bit scared.
"Are you sure?" She asked Beyoncé running her hands through Beyoncé natural curls.
"Absolutely!" She replied with a genuine smile.
*
"I love it," Beyoncé said to beautician with a bright smile.
"It looks beautiful on you," her stylist said.
"Well thank you!"
"No thank you. You know they say when a woman cuts her hair thing are about to change." Beyoncé thought for moment and smiled.
"That might be true." Beyoncé replied before paying the hair stylist and leaving. Her day was far from over and she was so excited to find out what more the day could bring. She was more than ready to live her life more freely. She snapped a quick picture and sent it to Nicki.
It wasn't long before her phone was right off the hook.
"Helloooo," she sang into the phone.
"Bitch you cut my hair?" Nicki yelled into the receiver. Causing Beyoncé to laugh.
"No, I cut my hair." Beyoncé giggled.
"Why?" Beyoncé frowned listening to her question.
"Because I wanted change, you
Don't like it?" Beyoncé asked.
"Hell yeah, shit is sexy. Bey I love it!"
"Really?"
"Yeah but I can't believe you cut all your curls though. What really pushed you?"
"Life pushed me, I want a fresh start. I want to live my life differently. Not being scared, standing up for myself, and I want be free. I feel like things are going to change so why not start fresh."
"I'm so proud of you Bey!"
"Thank you I'm trying."
"That's good! So how has your stay been so far?" Nicki asked. Beyoncé gave her details on what been going on. Leaving out the kiss with Shawn and how things were awkward now. She made sure to mention that Shawn was honoring his promise and staying out of her way. She didn't think she should tell Nicki how that bothered her so she didn't. After awhile Beyoncé hung up the phone. Looking into the sky she saw clouds forming and decided that she should find something to eat then head home.
She was at least forty five minutes out and still need to drive over the breezy Bridge before she made it back to her part of town. She found a simply restaurant and decided to eat there. She ordered a Caribbean jerk burger meal and ate quickly. Before leaving she ordered another meal to go for Shawn. Maybe the could actually see each other tonight, a girl could wish right?
She looked at her watch and it read 6:15 P. M. She didn't want to be out no later than she had to be but it looked like she would be out later than expected. Just as her name was called for her Togo order the rain started to poor down.
"Great!"
*
*
*
Shawn
8:49 P. M.
" 8:49," Shawn mumbled under is breath as he paced back and fourth.
"Where the hell is she?" He said out loud. The weather outside wasn't the best and he was scared out of his mind. She had been gone all day but the rain storm had started about two hours ago and he was freaking out.
Tropical storms were worse than New York rain. It was a pure storm that was hard to concur even if you where an animal. Trees would blow from the root and all you could do is hope you didn't get hit.
He had called Meek to retrieve her number because he knew Nicki wouldn't give it to him. He had dialed the number given to him and every single time it went to voicemail.
"Where the fuck is she?" He asked getting worried as he heard the thunder clap. All of a sudden the lights in the house flickered off and on.
Thump!
Shawn heard against the door. He quickly went to the window and began peeking. He saw the Beyoncé rental but he didn't see her. He ran to the door and swung it open. Seeing Beyoncé laying on the ground unconscious he didn't think twice.
He picked her up and made his way in to the house. He didn't care that bags on her arm were falling he just wanted to make sure she was safe. He laid her down on the floor on the soft plush carpet and began to check her to see if she was breathing and she was.
"Beyoncé, wake up." He lightly tapped her face. Her hair was soaking wet and cut really short. He admired her for a moment she was gorgeous. She wasn't waking up so he went and got some ice and rubbed it on her lips.
"Mhmm," she groaned in pain.
"Hey," Shawn said to her after she finally opened her eyes. Her head was in his lap so in order to see him she had to look up.
"My back hurts." She
Moaned.
"What happened?"
"I remember running one moment and out the next."
"Well I didn't see it but I don't think any major organs are damaged." he told her removing her head from his
Lap gently replacing his lap with a pillow from the couch.
"Corey," she called out to him.
"Yeah,"
"I need to change my clothes but Can we talk before we go
To bed?" She asked. He thought for a moment but soon gave in and sat right back down this time in front of her.
"I'll wait right here go change," she smiled weakly but went to change. While she changed he mad a ice pack for her head and prepared a heating pad for her back. She didn't feel the pain now but she would by tomorrow.
After about Ten minutes Beyoncé found herself sitting on the couch with and ice pack and a heating pad. She didn't mind, she was actually grateful for it. Be comfortable Beyoncé wasted no time getting to the punch.
"I just want to say that I'm sorry-"
"Ya know what it's no hard feelings." Shawn stated about to get up but Beyoncé touched his arm to stop him.
"Corey," she rushed out.
"What?"
"Why are you leaving so quickly if it's no hard feelings?"
"Because we have nothing to talk about." He said in an upset tone. He was a little upset with the way his day had gone. From denouncing his family to worrying about a woman he didn't even know. His life was messed up and he hated it.
"Yes we do, sit." She said patting the seat next to her.
Shawn groaned and sat down. Instead of looking at her he focused his vision on the wall. He wanted to be alone and she wasn't helping right now.
"Geese no need for the attitude." Beyoncé said.
"Could we actually hurry this up?" Shawn breathed out. Beyoncé frowned. Did she really hurt him that much?
"Are you mad at me?" Beyoncé asked longing to know. It would be hard for her to continue if he was.
Shawn sighed and finally looked her in the eyes.
"No," he said softly.
"Then why are you acting like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like you don't want to be around me." He would be lying if he said he didn't because he did. He didn't understand and he just couldn't find out what was so intriguing about Beyoncé.
"It's not you, I'm just trying to fulfill my promise that I made. Ya know, to stay out of your way. Beyoncé look at him and nodded her head in understanding.
"What if I don't want you to?"
"What do you mean?" Shawn asked frowning. There honestly wasn't and easy way to ask for what she wanted so she leaned forward placing her hand on both sides of his face and French kissed the hell out of him. Her lips stroked his smoothly and hungrily. She didn't waist anytime asking for access. Shawn was so lost in her soft lips on his that he opened up with no hesitation.
Shawn gently push his hands forward and stroked her hip. All of a sudden he felt himself rising and he pulled away.
"Corey," Beyoncé groaned.
"No! You can't do this! You can't kiss me and the reject me. You can't string me along and then drop me. What do you want from me?" He yelled at her just a little. He wasn't trying to but he couldn't help it. His emotions were high and he felt as if she was playing with them.
Boom!
The thunder rumbled but his gaze never wavered.
"You want the truth?"
"No just lie to me? Of course I want the truth!"
"I, I -Uh" Beyoncé stuttered.
"You uh what?"
"Promise you won't judge me? She said holding her pinkie out and he grabbed it.
"So childish. Okay, damn. What the hell do you want from me? "he sighed.
"I want a list of things."
"Well, I'll do one thing for you."
"Okay fine." She huffed.
"What is number one on your list?" He asked annoyed.
"I want you to fuck me."
Thanks for reading! 🙃
Comment and Vote!
Was Shawn wrong for denouncing his family?
How do you think Shawn will react to Beyoncé statement?