Steve's POV
So far, it had been a pretty good birthday. I had gotten to spend time with my friends and my beautiful girlfriend. I knew she hadn't forgotten it was my birthday, so I wondered what she had up her sleeve.
Jace and I shared a room to get showered and changed. I let him go first while I found the clothes Sarah had laid out for me from the bag she'd packed this morning. Jace was pretty quick and came out wearing his towel around his hips.
I walked past him into the bathroom, mentally reconciling the differences between him and Bucky. Physically, at 18 he was in better shape than Bucky had been; his muscles were pretty well defined. They shared the same birthmark as well, a small, slightly darker patch of skin that looked like a star just at the top of the right hip that would blend into a summer tan.
I missed Bucky so much today. I'd always missed him since waking up in this time, but today was the worst. I showered quickly, barely holding myself together. I dried off, wrapping the towel around my waist to go get dressed. Bucky – no, Jace – Jace was buttoning up his shirt but looked over with a smile as I came in the room, and my heart ached like I had taken a bullet to it. I tried not to stare at him, but I suddenly couldn't tell who he was anymore.
"You okay, Steve? You look like you've got something on your mind."
I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands, taking a deep breath. He came over and sat next to me, concern on his face.
"Sorry, Jace. I just got caught up in an old memory. Today was always a day where I hung out with Bucky. We'd be all over Brooklyn, doing stuff together before finding a place to watch the fireworks. You still remind me of him a lot."
"Is that good or bad?"
"Both. You being here has made today a little easier for me." I fought to keep my voice steady as it threatened to crack. "I just... miss him... a lot."
Jace put his arms around me in the way that Bucky always used to back when I was scrawny Steve. I turned into him and rested my forehead on his shoulder, drawing in a shaky breath. I had promised myself that I wasn't going to lose it today, and I didn't want to break that promise. Jace must have realized how close I was to breaking down, because he just held me tight. I put my arm around him and I held onto him for a long moment, just concentrating on breathing. It helped that he didn't smell like Bucky, because right then he felt like Bucky. He spoke quietly in my ear, his voice not quite steady either.
"You know he's looking out for you still, right? He's just not right next to you like you'd thought he'd be. It's okay with me if you pretend I'm Bucky tonight, Steve."
I finally let go of him when I thought I could hold it together. I gave him a wistful smile and shook my head. "It wouldn't be right, Jace. But thank you. If I let myself think you're him now, what's to keep me from doing it again? I have to move on, as hard as that is sometimes. He's not coming back." That hollow feeling was back, and I felt completely alone again. Jace put his hand on my neck and I met his eyes, the familiar cerulean filled with concern.
"You're right," he said quietly. "You're a great guy, Steve - you know that?"
"Thanks. You're pretty great yourself, Jace." He let go of me and stood up, walking into the bathroom as I started to get dressed.
He flashed me Bucky's crooked grin when he came back out and I had to look away, the pain was so intense. I shrugged into my shirt and pulled it on, standing up to button it and tuck it in.
"Come on, Steve - we're gonna be the last ones downstairs."
I went back in the bathroom to comb my hair and my eyes weren't as red as I thought they'd be. "Go on ahead; I'll be right behind you. Just have to put my shoes on."
Sarah was waiting in the bedroom when I came back out. She gave me a huge smile and I felt my heart stop for a moment again; she was so beautiful. Her long, dark, curly hair cascaded down her back, her golden brown eyes full of happiness and something else I couldn't place. She always made me feel like I was where I belonged, at least when I was with her. She stepped closer to me, wrapping her arms around my torso. I pulled her into my arms, kissing her with an intensity that left us both breathless. She pulled back, resting her head on my chest and rubbing her hands over my back.
"They're waiting for you, Steve. You're the last one down tonight."
"Sorry. Lost track of time, I guess."
"It's okay. Ready?"
"As I'll ever be." I offered her my arm and we went down the steps. Sarah led me to the dining room and opened the door, taking my hand and pulling me inside. It was then that I noticed that everyone was there and waiting for me.
"Happy Birthday, Steve!" they cried, startling me. I felt a huge smile on my face as I took it all in. I didn't know how she'd managed to pull this off, but I was glad she had.
"Surprise, Steve. Bet you thought I forgot your birthday." Sarah squeezed my hand and smiled up at me.
"The thought had crossed my mind. Thank you." I tilted her face up and gave her a gentle kiss. The room broke out in applause and I remembered we had an audience. She laughed as my face flushed, pulling me forward again. Everyone we passed took a moment to say happy birthday and give me a hug or a kiss on the cheek or both. For as empty as I'd felt a short time ago, my heart was overflowing at this show of affection from my friends.
Eventually, I made it to where Sarah wanted me at the table and Clint came in carrying a big cake with almost a hundred candles on it. I glanced over at Natasha, who smirked, taking pictures of it all. There was a lot of laughter and I could have sworn one of Tony's robots was holding a fire extinguisher in the corner.
"I had the wrong number on the last one." Natasha shrugged. "This time I got it right. Happy 94th birthday, Steve. Make a wish and blow out the candles."
I looked over at Sarah and she nodded. I closed my eyes and then blew out the candles. I almost got them all in one breath, but that was a lot of candles. Clint moved the cake out of the way and Nat brought over a pile of gifts.
"Guys, you didn't have to get me anything," I protested.
Tony clapped me on the shoulder with a smile. "You missed a lot of birthdays doing time as a Capsicle. We're all glad they finally found you, even if it took longer than anyone ever thought it would. Happy Birthday, Gramps." He pointed to a red and gold wrapped box. "Go on, open it."
I tore the colorful paper off to find an old Yankees baseball cap and an equally old but more beat up Brooklyn Dodgers baseball cap. I promptly put the Dodgers hat on, smiling as it slipped right on, fitting perfectly.
"Thanks, Tony, Pepper! This is great!"
"Open the one from me and Clint next," said Natasha, smiling widely and pointing at a large, festively wrapped box.
I tore off the paper and opened the box, pausing as I absorbed what it was. It was a full paint set – artist quality.
"The easel is already at your apartment, along with some canvas to get you started." Clint grinned at Natasha before looking back at me. "I don't like to wrap things." Everyone chuckled and I smiled.
"Thanks Clint, Nat. I needed this."
"This one's from Archie, Jace and I, with a little help from Mr Stark and Agent Hill to make the arrangements." Mrs Evans slid over a longer, thin box. I broke the tape and pried it open. Inside were tickets to a baseball game this weekend for Jace, Mr Evans, Sarah and the team. We were going to see the Nats play the Rockies.
"That's great! Thanks, everyone. We're all going to a baseball game Saturday. We're going to have a blast!"
"This one's from me, Steve," said Bruce with a smile. It was a little piece of metal and glass that I'd seen before; I think Sarah used one like this when she went running. I looked up at him curiously. "It's an iPod. Sarah told me you enjoyed listening to music, so we loaded your whole vinyl collection on here for you so you can listen to whatever you want any time of day. She'll show you how to run it."
"Thanks, Bruce! Some of those records were kind of hard to find."
"And this last one is from me," said Sarah. It was a large flat box. I tore off the paper and lifted the lid. I paused before lifting the items out of the box. She had gotten me a set of pencils and pens and a couple of different weight papers for me to draw and sketch on. I felt her wrap her arms around my shoulders. "Do you like it?" she asked quietly in my ear.
"I love it. It's perfect. How did you know?"
"I had a little help. Jace's great-aunt Rebecca said that you loved to draw and that every year Bucky would get you new pencils because you would have worn the old ones out by then."
"He did. I did. Thank you so much." I stood up and hugged her, needing her to ground me. I spoke over her to everyone in the room. "Thank you so much, all of you!"
"Food is ready in the kitchen if you want to help yourself. We'll go outside at dusk for the fireworks display," announced Pepper, smiling fondly at us.
I stood there, holding on to Sarah while everyone made their way to the kitchen to get food. When the room was empty, Sarah looked up at me and stood on her tiptoes to give me a kiss.
"I'm glad you liked it. I was a little worried that it was going to make you sad instead."
"It was just what I needed. I've been missing Bucky all day today, so it was good that he could be here, in a way."
"He's always with you, Steve, just not where you'd hoped he be." Her eyes held mine for a long moment before she asked, "Ready to eat? I'm starving."
"Yeah. Let me move all of this stuff out of the way so it doesn't get ruined." I packed it all up in the box that Sarah had given me. Everything fit in it and I set the box on a side table by the door before following her to the kitchen to get food.
I couldn't ever remember laughing so much at a meal before. The team had been drinking since we got done playing King of the River, so they'd decided to tell Sarah all of the difficulties I'd run into attempting to assimilate into this modern era, from phones, to computers to my first encounter with Jarvis. My sides hurt from laughing so hard. At the time, I'd been frustrated by my inability to grasp the concept of modern technology, now I could see the humor in it.
Maria's story took the cake, though. She told Sarah about how she'd been saddled with my sorry butt after the Battle of New York, getting me assimilated to Shield. She'd started by pulling up the Shield protocol file and having me read it on a tablet.
"At the time, I didn't know that Steve hadn't been taught how to use a tablet and he never told me he didn't know. I'm pretty sure that if I'd asked, he would have told me, but I didn't ask. So I left him in my office reading it while I went to get more coffee. I could hear the sound of breaking electronics from the conference room. By the time I got back, Steve was standing up, holding the remains of the tablet in his hands. I asked him: Rogers, what did you do?
He handed me the broken tablet and said, I quote, "Sorry, it was an accident. I hit the button to turn the page and it told me to slide to unlock. So I slid it. I guess I don't know my strength, sometimes."
It didn't look like he had meant to destroy it, so I asked him: "Did you slide your finger over the notification?"
He gave me the most confused look, so I took out my phone and demonstrated. His eyes got big and he shook his head apologetically before telling me: "I slid the strange book on the desk. Well, it started out on the desk at least. Sorry, Agent Hill." She finished her drink and set it on the counter amid the laughing response she got from everyone.
I stepped over to Maria and gave her a big hug, startling her by picking her up off the ground as they all laughed harder. She didn't bother to fight me, knowing she was a solid foot off the ground. She was shorter than Sarah, but not by much.
"Put me down, Steve," she laughed, hands on my shoulders as I gave a kiss on the cheek and she blushed appealingly.
"Thank you, Maria. I'm sorry Fury stuck you with me. Anyone else would probably have washed their hands of me after that."
I set her back on her feet and she patted my chest. "Steve, you have no idea of how well you do the sad puppy dog look. I couldn't just sit you in the corner when you didn't know what you were doing."
Natasha laughed. "That's the perfect way to describe that look."
I quirked a brow at her amid the laughter. She pulled up a picture on her phone and showed it to me. "This is what you look like when you break some piece of technology that isn't Cap-proof. Like the brand new washer we had put in your apartment after you moved in and your clothes got stolen."
"What did you do to the washer, Steve?" Sarah asked. I'd never told her about that incident.
"It got stuck mid-cycle, so I went to open the door to rearrange the load, like you have to do to the ones downstairs."
"Steve, you have a front load washer," said Sarah, guessing where this was going.
"Apparently you don't do that with that kind of washer." I replied.
"No, no, you don't. Luckily, the warranty people decided it was a faulty washer, not that Captain America had ripped the door off accidentally." Natasha said with a smirk.
"So that's why there was water all over the hallway?" asked Kate from where she was standing by Jace.
"How long ago was that?" asked Sarah.
"The end of May. Thank goodness you moved in next door shortly after that, Sarah. I don't think I've heard of anything else happening since then," Natasha replied, raising her eyebrows. I put my arm around the feisty redhead.
"I've been too busy to cause trouble, Nat."
She leaned into me, grinning. "Keep telling yourself that, Rogers."
"Well, as amusing as this is, it's dark enough for the fireworks now. They're waiting for us to get situated before they start," said Pepper. "Bring your drinks, we've got a pretty long show planned."
We headed back outside and it was much cooler now that the sun had set. Sarah was walking with Jace and Kate, his arm around Sarah's shoulders and her arm around Jace's waist as they chattered.
Natasha stayed with me as we headed outside. "Are you okay now, Steve? Sarah said you were a little upset earlier when we got back to the house."
I looked over at Sarah and Jace in the flickering light of the firepits that had been brought in and lit. In my mind, I saw Peggy and Bucky, laughing together around a campfire during a rare break from the war.
"I am now." I said with a smile.