A/N: Thank you everyone who's reading this! *Gives everyone crackers* (because I'm too broke to buy cookies)
Disclaimer: I only own my characters, all other characters belong to Kafka Asagiri.
***
Dazai stared at her in shock...and burst out laughing.
Shizune stomped her foot. "It's not funny!"
"Sorry -I'm not -I mean-" He doubled over, laughing even harder.
She glared at him.
"That was completely unexpected," Dazai finally said, after catching his breath. "You know, I haven't laughed this hard in years."
"I'm glad I could be of service," she muttered.
"I like your ability." He smiled. "It suits you."
"Was that an insult or a compliment?" she asked. "Anyways, only you and Alex know what my actual ability is, so if you tell anyone..."
"I won't break my promise," Dazai replied. "Trust me."
Suddenly, Shizune realized something. "Crap, if Mira leaked information about me, then she might've leaked information about Alex too! Dazai-san, can I borrow your phone?"
He nodded...and pulled his hands out of his handcuffs.
She stared at him. "Um...if you're already free, then why aren't you escaping?"
"I'm waiting for someone," Dazai replied cheerfully. He handed over his phone. "I unlocked your handcuffs too, by the way."
Shizune tugged a bit harder on the chains, and her handcuffs sprang open.
"..." she stared at him wordlessly and took the phone.
The moment she pressed 'call', Alex immediately picked up. Suddenly, she remembered that she was still mad at her friend for the entire accidentally-blow-up-a-mafia-boss thing.
"Shizu-chan! Is that you?" Alex asked cheerfully.
"No, it's God," Shizune said flatly. "I'm calling to tell you that I gave away your spot in heaven to that lazy shut-in from across the street."
"So you're still mad at me?" she teased.
"You're the reason why I unwillingly committed murder!" Shizune hissed. "Give me back my first time! I wanted Mira to be my first victim!"
"Aw, don't be like that," Alex pouted. "Will you love me again if I buy you chocolate?"
Shizune narrowed her eyes. "IF YOU THINK THAT I'LL FORGIVE YOU IF YOU BRIBE ME WITH CHOCOLATE then you're absolutely right. How many boxes?"
"Five."
"Deal. I forgive you."
"Yay!" Alex laughed. "Maybe I'll go to Japan and visit you this week."
"I don't forgive you that much yet," Shizune replied grumpily. "By the way, Mira leaked information about me, so she might've done the same to you."
Alex gasped. "That son of a-"
"She's a girl."
"That daughter of a bitch! When I find her, I'm going to wring her pretty little neck with that diamond choker she always wears and-"
Suddenly, a static noise interrupted her.
"The connection's really bad," Shizune said, frowning. "I'll call you back later."
"Oh, I got a new phone, so call me using this number." Alex quickly told her a string of numbers, then the connection broke off completely.
"This place has really bad signal," Shizune commented.
She gave the phone back to Dazai and put on her handcuffs again. After a few minutes, her eyelids began to feel heavy and she drifted off.
***
A girl walked up the path leading to an old mansion, making no sound despite the leaves under her feet. Gripping the wall of the mansion, she nimbly climbed onto its window sill.
"Hey, are you there?" she whispered, lightly knocking on the glass.
Immediately, a boy slammed the window open, grinning.
The girl yelped and quickly grabbed onto the ledge.
"Hey!" she protested. "I could've fallen off!"
"Well you didn't," he pointed out, stepping back. "Where have you been?"
She shrugged. "Don't remember."
The girl hopped into the room and pulled out a knife from inside her coat. Smiling, she offered it to him.
The boy looked at her in confusion. "Why the sudden gift?"
"You never know, we might forget each other in the future," she replied. "That knife comes in a pair, so if we each have one, then it might help us remember."
"I won't forget you," the boy replied, laughing.
She smiled sadly. "But I will."
***
Shizune woke up with a start. It's those two children again, she thought. Why can't I ever remember their faces? She yawned and glanced to her left...then blinked in surprise. Dazai was standing in the center of the room, and he looked like he'd just been in a fight. Facing him was a man wearing a hat who looked completely pissed off.
"Perfect, let's ask Shizu-chan!" Dazai said. "Shizu-chan, we're having an argument. Do you think this guy's short?"
"Shut up!" the other man snapped. "I'm NOT short!"
They both turned to her.
"..." Shizune closed her eyes and went back to sleep.
"Wha-? You can't just go back to sleep!" the man said in disbelief. "Hey! I know you can hear me!"
Don't drag me into your ridiculous argument, Shizune thought grumpily.
Hey girl! a familiar voice said. Do you still remember me?
Her eyes snapped open and she looked at the man's hat in shock.
"OH MY GOD IT'S YOU!" she shouted happily. "I'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU! Well, not everywhere, but a few places."
"Huh?" the man frowned, then a flicker of recognition crossed his face. "Oh, you're that girl who killed the boss of the Grey Mafia."
Do you still remember our promise? the hat asked.
Shizune nodded and tugged her wrists out of her handcuffs. She pulled out a neatly wrapped package from her pocket and gave it to the man.
"Here you go!" she said cheerfully.
He stared at her in confusion, but took the package and opened it.
"Wait, isn't this the ridiculously expensive brush that's almost impossible to find?" he asked in surprise. "Why the hell are you giving it to me?"
"It's not for you," she replied, frowning. "It's for your hat."
Thank you! the hat said gratefully.
"Shizu-chan, do you know him?" Dazai asked.
"Yep. He's the guy who threatened to torture me after-" she froze in horror.
Crap, I was so focused on his hat that I completely forgot that he was trying to kill me! Does he still want to kill me? Maybe I should keep pretending that I'm a crossdresser. Oh, but Dazai-san's here, so I can't do that anymore- her thoughts turned into a jumbled mess.
"I swear I only blew up that guy because he was bald!" she blurted out. "I'm not working for anyone!"
He stared at her. "...right."
"Chuuya, you threatened to torture her?" Dazai gasped in shock. "How could you do that to a lady?"
Chuuya scowled. "Gender doesn't have anything to do with this."
"So not only do you have a horrible taste in hats, but you also have no manners." Dazai sighed.
"Do not insult his hat," Shizune said, frowning. "It has a great personality and is extremely stylish."
Chuuya looked completely surprised. "Oh, thanks."
Thank you, the hat said gratefully.
"You're welcome," she replied. "You look absolutely beautiful, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
Chuuya's face reddened. "Uh, you look great too."
"Huh?" Shizune said, looking away from his hat.
He blinked. "Huh?"
Dazai burst out laughing. "Shizu-chan, I really do love your ability."
Chuuya looked at them in confusion, then turned around and started walking towards the entrance.
"Hey, don't you think you're forgetting something?" Dazai called after him.
He stopped abruptly.
"Don't. You. Think. You're. Forgetting. Something?" Dazai repeated.
Chuuya whipped around. "...there will be no second chance!" he said, mimicking the voice of a girl.
Shizune burst out laughing, but Dazai simply stared at him.
"N-n-no second chance," he stammered, beginning to look embarrassed.
Dazai continued to stare at him blankly.
"HEY YOU SHOULD BE LAUGHING!" he snapped.
Chuuya threw up his hands in frustration and stormed out of the room.
"What kind of conversation were you two having?" Shizune asked, still laughing.
"Oh, nothing important," Dazai said cheerfully. "Shizu-chan, are you ready to leave?"
She nodded, catching her breath. "Yep, let's go."
***
A/N: Lol now there's a huge misunderstanding between Shizune and Chuuya. What do you think will happen next? Please vote, comment, etc.