simon
today, it's been three months since i met josh.
he gave me a bouquet of white roses.
and then he asked me out on a date
of course, i said yes.
he took me to a fancy restaurant and i was anxious about the prices, so i looked at the cheapest dishes.
josh noticed that, so he told me not to worry.
i nodded in response and ordered what i wanted, since that seemed to make him happy.
i like to see him happy.
today, we got to know each other a bit better.
i know a lot about josh already,
but i wanted to know small details, things we hadn't discussed earlier.
he asked me what my favorite color was.
i said red.
josh's said his favorite color is blue, because that's the color of my eyes.
'he's such a cliché'
i asked him what his favorite tv show is.
he said he rarely watches them, but that he likes the walking dead.
i nodded and suggested that we should do a marathon some time.
he agreed.
"how could i ever pay you back now" i laughed as we left the restaurant.
i could tell josh thought about something because he smirked.
"what" i grinned and rolled my eyes playfully.
i noticed his gaze was shifting between my eyes and my lips, making me blush.
"you can kiss me" he said softly.
so i did.
and i realized i am addicted to his lips,
to how he looks at me like i am special,
to how i feel when he holds my hand,
to when he hugs me and comforts me.
i am addicted to him.
just like how i'm addicted to smoking my lungs grey.
but this is different.
josh isn't toxic, like the yellow and white cigarettes i keep in my pocket.
perhaps i could get used to this instead.