(Unedited)
Tears streaming down my face I try to fall asleep to the rythm of the bus. I can hear people talking outside, but i'm not ready to go outside. My heart feels like its torn in two, Why the fuck did he kiss me? Why? Does he like seeing me hurt? I know he knows I like him, espicially after the things he said. Oh god the things he said, they keep running through my head over and over again like a love sick puppy, you still do. He strung me along! He knew! He knew! and he didn't care my best friend, the love of my life used me, he knew I would do anything for him and he used to his advantage he didn't, he put me aside so easily when he has a girlfriend>
"God Dammit Aiden" I sob
"Why" i continue to sob into my pillow trying to hold back my sobs but it's not helping,
"I hate you Aiden" I screamed out
"Do you hear me Aiden, I hate you" I scream out again
I hear a commotion outside of the door and then the door slams open and there he is in all is bastard glory Aiden. He looks like a fallen angel, he's beautiful sleeves of tattoes on both his arms, his glorious messed up like he ran his fingers through it multiple times, his eyes blood shot looking right at me. I suck in a breath why god why can't you let me forget him, put him behind me, start over.
Hes breathing hard like he just ran a mile and looks at me with so many emotions going through his eyes.
"Tell me you hate me again, Bella" he grounds out
"i hate you" I say with the most venom i can muster, then its completly silent and all you can hear is the bus moving
He watches me like a predator watches his prey, before he walks in and slams the door shut
"You can't hate me Bella" he harshly whispers out like it hurts to get the words out
"I hate you Aiden, you betrayed me" I ground out, my emotions on an all time high i feel like my emotions have always been on all time high where Aiden is concered.
He stalks towards me, and I back up againist the head rest, he grabs on to my legs to pull me down and then climbs on top of me and puts his head in the crook of my neck and breaths me in like this is the last time he will be able to do this and maybe it is.
I try to wiggle free from his hold but he grips on to my wrists and brings them up above my head and grips them on tight, but not to tight that he will hurt me.
"Get off me Aiden" I say
"I'm so sorry Bella, I never meant to hurt, you have to believe me......please" he whispers out while he raises his head and looks into my eyes
"I can't believe you, you betrayed my trust" I say back
"How?" he says, with a frustrated voice while he grips on to my wrist tighter and brings his head lower. He continues to talk
"Because I didn't tell you about Serena?" he says, I turn away because I dont want him to see the tears that are threating to escape my eyes, he is breaking my heart with every word that he is saying.
"or is it because I can't love you the way you love me" he whishpers
I gasp and turn my head towrds him, he looks at me with regret and pity and another emotion I can't determine. I'm so tired of this. I buck my hips to get im off me but he pins me down with his hips that i become pratically imobile.
"Get the fuck off me Aiden" I growl out bringing my face up to his, we are so close that are lips are so close to each other that we are literally breathing the same air, my eyes travel down to his lips, and my mind wanders to that kiss that we shated not even three hours ago. My breathing becomes heavier and so does his, his eyes travel down to my lips, and he brings his lips even closer that they are touching and then he speaks.
"You are my best friend Isabella, I love you with all my heart, but i just can't love that way. I dont see you that way" he says while lips touch mine everytime he talks, and I whimper from the pain that his words are causing my heart. He can't love me the way I love him.
"I am so sorry for the things that I said to you I never and I mean never wanted you to find out the way you did about me and Serena" he sighs and continues saying "or about me knowing, but trust me i never used that knowledge to my advantage, because you are everything to me, I can't be who I am without you, you are part of me" he says and rubs his nose againist mine.
Tears are runing down my face and I cry, because I know this is way of telling me to stop loving him the way a women loves and man, and to love him the way a sister loves a brother, but how can I do that when my soul calls out to him, when i know that I belong to him and I will always belong to him. This thought makes me cry harder because I will never get my soulmate.
"Why" I choke out, my lips brushing his, and he whimpers like he is in pain, his eyes travel down to my lips again.
"Because i'm falling for Serena and I think she is the one for me, I want you to be happy for me Bella, I want you to be there for me" he whispers out again
I sob out " How can you ask that of me, when you know how I feel for you Aiden? How can you tell me to be happy for you when my heart is shattering right before you? Can you be that selfish?
"Fuck Isabella, stop just stop, you and I both know these feelings you have for me will go no where because I dont feel the same way" he grounds out
and then in a softer voice he says "Please accept that, please be my best friend again"
"Best friend" I whisper out
Thats all we can be. Thats all he wants from me is my friendship.
"We can fix this Isabella, we can go back to how we were before you found out I knew, before Serena, Please.... I'm begging you Bella"
He's begging me. He just wants me has a friend. Can I go back to being friends with him? Go back and pretend this never happened, that he just didn't destroy the little heart that I had left. I know the anwer. We can't go back. The damage has already been done .
With this thought I whisper out " We can't fix what's already broken"
His eyes open wide and shakes his no like he's in denial and he gets up from the bed and paces the room, I sit up and just stare at him
He looks at me with tears in his eyes his voice cracks "What do we do now"
I look back him with tears streaming down my face "We move on" I choke out
"Move on" he whispers while looking at the door
"You go back to Serena, and I try to repair my heart the best that I can, but I can't have you the same Aiden, somehow we crossed the line, and I know a part of it is my fault because I broke the number one rule in this relashionship I feel in love with my best friend" I choke out
He looks at me and says nothing and walks out the door. Macy comes running in and grabs a hold of me while I cry out my pain again and she whispers "its going to be ok Bella" over and over again.
I wish I could believe her but I know deep down its not going to be ok, because I just lost my best friend and the love of my life.
~*~
Omg Omg Omg finally I updated
I am so sorry I know so many of you were waiting for me to update and I really have no excuse other than life caught up with me. I really didn't have anytime to wright and Isabella and Aiden deserve all of my attention when I tell there story.
BUT i finally updated and i'm back on track with writing there stroy
I really appreciate you guys continuing in supporting this story as much as you guys do
Thank you so much!!!!
Please vote and comment! Love ya :*