Dedicated to @pacianna for the cover at the top! Thank you💌
Does anyone watch SKAM? I just finished watching and I love Isak and Even and Noora and William omg I'm shook.
Chapter Forty-Nine: "We're About To Make Loud Love."
"I TALKED TO HER." Zen said to me. We were sitting in the hallway during fourth. The both of us had a spare and even though I should be in one of the dance studios right now, I had decided after talking to Mrs. Yousiff to work on my Chemistry instead. Zen just so happened to not go home and stay because he had to work on the controls for another play.
I put my pencil down. Now this caught my attention. I wasn't even sure if the two had spoken all March break while I was up in Toronto. "So, um, what happened?"
"Her parents got involved," Zen said. "Police too but she's not talking about it. She just said that."
Zen cleared his throat, "He ended things with her."
Oh. Relief filled me even further. Even thinking about Mr. Stiles right now made me queasy and honestly, I was just glad that authorities and parents were getting involved in this.
"Okay."
"It's affecting her a lot and she probably won't bring it up," He told me. "We talked about it for a bit. And she told me that she's still not sure if she wants to speak to me. And I ended up--I don't know, I told her. I told her I loved her." Zen admitted.
I waited for him to say something else but he didn't. He continued staring at the ground and played with his lip ring. I bit my lip, wondering if I should ask question since I knew he wasn't going to just spill the whole story. "What was her response?"
"Well, she was shocked. Like very shocked. She didn't expect it."
"That's the definition of shock Zen; not expecting it."
Zen gave me cut eye and I held down the laugh that was making its way out of my mouth. "Shut up."
"Never."
"Anyway," He drawled out, taking my pencil and throwing it on the other side of the hallway. I stared at my pencil as it flew in the air and landed near the lockers as he continued speaking, "I just wanted to tell her. Wrong timing, to be honest, but I ended up doing it. I just...I hope one day she can understand."
Me too.
"She said we're okay because of our history. But that it's going to take her time to talk to me again."
"She will," I promised him, hoping.
He nodded, "Now, how was your break?" He clapped his hands, giving me the signal that his conversation was over. "You didn't tell me what you did in Toronto."
"I had time with my family up there. I got see some old friends but mostly stayed at my aunt's house."
"What about that Timothy guy? Did you see him or talk to him especially after how he treated Lucas and everything?"
I shook my head. "Nope and I'm kind of happy about that."
Zen hesitated before asking the next question, "What about, um, your dad?"
"That's kind of the reason why we went to Toronto in the first place. They are officially divorced. Signed papers and everything."
"Wow."
"Yep, I had a feeling that my mom probably signed the papers with a bi smiley face by her signature."
"Seriously?"
I nodded. "I love my dad, I really do but my mom these past few months' kind of showed me how much she's happier without him. No more constant arguments, no more secrets, just her and me right now."
"You ever going to visit your dad?"
"Yeah," I said, pushing my hair back. "We spoke about it a little bit before my mom and I came back."
But Zen wasn't looking at me when I said that. I mean, he was looking at me but not in my eyes but at my neck.
Oh shit.
"Hold up," Zen looked at me with squinted eyes and before I could stop him he pushed my hair back that was on my shoulder, looking at the space above my collarbone. "Did Lucas Cahill give you, Sydney Acosta, a hickey?"
I put my hands over my eyes in embarrassment. "Stop."
"No fucking way. Is this an actual hickey or did something bite you?"
"Stop." I slapped his hands away from me again but he wouldn't stop laughing.
"You guys are like the most innocent couple I know. I wasn't even sure if Lucas knew what a hickey was to be honest."
He definitely did.
"Stop." I repeated for the third time but Zen couldn't stop cackling.
"Was this yesterday when you guys had a talk by the staircase? Or should I say 'talk'? What is that place to you people? Make out corner? You realize you're in a school and not a bedroom right?"
"You done?" I asked him, suddenly tired of him talking.
"How the fuck did you hide that from your mom?"
"I never usually let my hair down at home and now I have a perfect excuse to."
"Interesting," Zen smirked, putting his hands behind his head. "So...have you and Lucas..."
He trailed off and I stared at him, daring him to finish that question. "Have Lucas and I what?"
"You know..."
"Zen, how about you finish the stupid statement and stop being immature?" Then my amazing friend decided to using motions. He moved his pelvis forward into a thrusting motion and I cringed at the face he was making while doing so. "How are you turning eighteen?"
Zen laughed, finally stopping. "Just answer the question."
"Have Lucas and I had sex?"
Zen raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Yeah, have you guys fucked?" I almost cringed at how vulgar he sounded with that statement.
"I'm not answering that question." I mumbled.
"I didn't think so," Zen chuckled. "It's not a big deal. Plus, with the way your mom is, would you guys even have a place to do it?"
"Zen!" I exclaimed.
"What? Do you want to change the topic?"
"Yes please."
"Okay. When will you and Lucas-"
"Zen!"
"It's not like I was going to ask when you guys would have sex? I was going to ask when you guys will... see each other next, duh. You're nasty minded Sydney. What's going on with you."
"I hate you." I muttered.
"Feelings mutual." He laughed, handing me a pencil to finish my chemistry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey mom." I paused the movie as she walked into the living room.
"You have got two things in the mail." She put them on the ottoman and I stared at them when she didn't even change out of her work clothes. She took a seat next to me, just waiting for me to open them.
"We haven't checked the mail for like a week." I mumbled.
"So these must've come in during these weeks. The big envelop came in yesterday and the smaller one on Tuesday."
My eyes widened with realization with what this possibly meant. I didn't get mail often but if i got mail around this time that meant...
"Oh my God," I whispered to myself, using the remote to turn off the TV with shaky hands. I reached for the big envelop first, the package almost falling out of my hands. "Mom..."
"Open it." She smiled at me with careful eyes.
I carefully tore it open and pulled out the first paper I saw inside. My eyes scanned over the words and I could feel my heart beating in my ears from the anticipation. "Mom?"
"Yeah?"
I read the first lines over again just to make sure i wasn't seeing things. "I-I got in."
"Que?"
I didn't even want to tell her that she had switched languages. I tackled her into a hug immediately. "I got into Julliard, mom. I-It says it right there. I'm not even on the waiting list. I got in. Oh my God."
Five minutes later, I was still sitting on the couch my mom pacing back and forth, calling all of our family members. I could feel my hands slightly shaking as I read the words over for what felt like the hundredth time, my mind not being able to comprehend what happened.
I fumbled with my phone when I pulled it out of my pocket, calling the first person I had promised to call if-when- this happened. And it did. The phone rang three times before he picked up. "Hey Syd."
"Wes," I said with a shaky voice. "I-I got in."
"What? What do you-WAIT, YOU GOT IN? TO JULLIARD?"
"Yeah." I whispered, grinning widely to myself.
"DON'T MESS WITH ME SYDNEY. If you're messing with me I'm calling you the biggest bitch I know, I swear."
I laughed, not even bothering to find a response for him calling me a bitch. "No. I'm not messing with you. I got in. I really did get in."
"That's insane. Sydney, you know what this means, right?"
"What does it mean Wesley?" I laughed.
"I'm buying you dinner next time you come to Toronto," He clarified. "I'm so proud of you Syd."
"Thanks Wes."
"You're still trying to process it, aren't you?"
"You know me so well." I laughed with him when my eyes spotted the other envelop on the ottoman. "Wait there's something else that came in."
"What is it?"
I carefully opened that envelop, taking the content out of it and reading the words on the paper. Holding my phone to my shoulder, I caught my mom's attention a she was talking to one of my relatives, my heart uplifted but somehow sinking at the same time. "Do you mind if we go to the Cahill's?"
I'm surprised my mom didn't even argue. She seemed overjoyed, possibly wanting to tell Liz the news and everything. I stood in the Cahill kitchen, reciprocating Liz's hug as she congratulated me. Christian gave me a smile as we started to back away from the kitchen, our moms excitedly talking.
"I, um, I'll be back." I mumbled, holding onto the package and quickly walking out of the room. They didn't even notice me leave and I was grateful for that because now I so desperately wanted to tell someone the news.
Christian followed me giving me a knowing look. "Are you going to tell him?"
"Fuck yeah." I couldn't help but say in excitement.
Christian laughed and I ran towards the corridor. I took my legs and myself as fast as I could up the stairs. I didn't think I would find Lucas here at all.
I had closed the door to find him shirtless, his back facing me and looking at that tattoo on his back. His skin was now sun kissed from his week in Maui during the break and he had a new hairstyle. He turned around quickly almost looking around for a shirt before his hand went to the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh...hey? I-"
I didn't even have time to ogle his body. I was too excited.
"I got in." I couldn't help but say with the biggest smile on my face.
"What?" he looked confused, his eyes shifting from my face to the package in my hand.
"Julliard I-"
"You got in?" The confusion on his face morphed into one of the brightest smiles I had ever seen on his face and I knew that seeing this guy smile was one of the greatest things in my almost eighteen years of life.
"I got in."
Lucas took a deep breath, his hands out in front of it like he couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. "You got in. Sydney, you got in."
"Yes, I got in." I was screaming with excitement. He quickly moved towards me wrapping me in a hug and my feet were being lifted off the ground.
"Holy shit, babygirl you got in." I laughed out loud as he twirled us around before dropping me with ease.
My hands were on his shoulders as he took the package from me and started looking through it when I remembered what he had called me. I didn't even think Lucas would be the type of boyfriend capable to say that word.
"Um...what-what did you call me?" I asked with uncertainty and a small smile on my face.
Lucas froze, his eyes shifting as he looked like he had recalled what he had said to me in his excitement. I laughed at his expression and the way his cheeks tinted red. "Um, it kind of just slipped out. I mean-"
Awkward Lucas was always the best Lucas.
I put my hand on his chest, stopping him from stuttering. "It's okay. I just didn't really sound like something you would say. Ever."
"You're always jumping to certain conclusions about me, aren't you?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
"Sometimes." I admitted, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning my head on top of his shoulder.
He wrapped his arms around me and I embraced him tighter, enveloping myself in his heat. "I'm proud of you Canada girl." He mumbled, lifting my head up to kiss my forehead.
"Don't you mean baby girl?" I joked, tracing my fingers on his back.
"Stop." He whined, laughing.
"Is there a reason you aren't wearing a shirt? I mean it is your house and I'm definitely not complaining when I see you in this-"
My sentence was cut off by Lucas laughing as he pulled away but still held me, shifting his arms down my body and around my waist. "We're so awkward yet you say things like that and sometimes I wonder who I'm dating."
"Sydney Janelle Acosta." I reminded him.
"I know but like Eduardo said for some reason I wouldn't be surprised now if you had some kind of freaky side on you."
"Would you hate it?"
"No," Lucas said with a serious look, his hands finding their way on my waist and skimming the bottom of my sweatshirt, lifting it up a little to brush his thumb on the exposed skin. "I most definitely would not hate it."
Okay I didn't know what I liked better, this Lucas or awkward Lucas.
"Is it strange that I'm experiencing basorexia?" He suddenly asked and he leaned forward, pressing his lips against the side of my neck.
"What does that mean?" I asked quietly.
He moved his head up, our lips a fraction apart. "A burning desire to kiss."
"I don't think it's strange."
"You feeling the same way?" He asked, his eyes looking directly at my own and I didn't understand until now that eye contact could probably be one of the most intimate things in the world.
I nodded in agreement and he leaned in and kissed me. My hands reached up to lock around his neck as we kissed, the shirt that was in his hand, dropping to the ground. He grinned into it, lifting up with all his strength and I pulled him closer to me if it was possible.
"I really am proud of you." He said breathlessly in-between kisses.
I smiled against his lips, my hands removing themselves from his neck and trailing down his chest. "I know." I couldn't help but laugh.
"I can't remind you babygirl?" He mumbled against my lips and I couldn't hold myself from laughing.
"Yes, you can remind me." I told him, kissing him again and deepening it, pushing my fingers into his hair.
The door opened and Lucas and I jumped, our arms still around each other.
Greg immediately cringed, putting a hand over his eyes. "Can you guys like put a sign in front of the door if you're about to have sex? Like a good 'Do not come in, we're about to make loud love' is a really good sign. Just saying."
Lucas huffed and he hugged me to himself. "She got accepted."
"Into...into Julliard?" I heard Greg said with surprise. "Holy congratulations Sydney. Lucas let go of her, let her hug her favorite Cahill."
I felt Lucas get pushed away from me and I gladly hugged Greg back, watching as Lucas put his shirt back on.
"Wait a second," Greg said, his eyes wide. "You have a tattoo?" He stopped Lucas from putting the shirt over his head and turned my boyfriend around, shoving him onto the bed on his stomach.
Lucas groaned. "Greg, what the...? Care to explain why you pushed me so my head is in the duvet?"
Greg loomed over him, looking over at the lines on just below Lucas' shoulder. "Holy shit. Does mum know about this?"
"Yeah." Lucas said into the comforter.
"Does dad?"
"No, remember when Ivan got a tattoo and he blew up? Which is kind of stupid because-"
"Yeah I know. He has mum's initials on his ankle." Greg laughed, letting Lucas stand up. Lucas glanced at the other letter in my hand.
"Wait, what's that?"
I took a deep breath. "I also got into this summer ballet program in New York. They accepted me and two others from Canada to dance with them."
"A-Are you serious?" Lucas' hugged me again. "Wow, I'm so proud of you. That's so amazing. Wait when did you apply for that?"
"Last year. Mrs. Yousiff sent them a couple of my videos. I didn't tell you about it because we weren't really close back then."
"Wait," Greg stepped forward, kind of breaking up Lucas and I's hug. "Summer program? When does it start?"
I looked down at the letter. "Um...about two weeks after school ends..." I trailed off, my heart sinking when I glanced up at Lucas.
Greg cleared his throat uncomfortably at the slight strain in the room. "Uh, congrats again Sydney. I'll leave you two to talk."
"Thanks." I said quietly and he left the room, closing the door behind him. I sat down on Lucas' bed, watching him put a shirt on before sitting down next to me.
Lucas and I sat in silence, a weird tension in the air. I spoke first. "It looks like we won't have much time to see each other like we do almost every day."
Lucas kept quiet and I watched him get up and walk over to his drawer, pulling out a paper. "I haven't told you something."
"What is it?" I asked and he handed the paper towards me. I read the words on the letter. "You got accepted to an art school?"
"Yeah. I handed in a portfolio and everything last year November."
"When did you get this?" I gesture to the letter.
"January." He answered, walking over to lie down on top of his bed.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked him, joining him. I leaned against his body, my hand on his chest.
He inhaled deeply. "Sydney, look where the school is."
I glanced down at the paper and as happy as I felt for Lucas, my heart sank straight to the bottom. "Japan. You're moving to the other side of the world. Japan."
"Yeah." He whispered. "And like you got into a summer program I did too. I'm going to learn Japanese and get some creative insight."
"T-That's amazing Lucas. You deserve this so much." My voice wavered.
His hold on me tightened. "But I want to be with you. The only reason I didn't tell you about this was because I knew that I wouldn't have much time to spend with you. I didn't want to face the future, I just wanted to be with you. Now."
"You are with me."
"But in June, we're both going to be apart. If I was still in Canada or even went to a school up north or something, I would still fly out to visit you."
"Lucas..." My voice trailed off.
"But we're in different places. Not just cities or countries. We're going to be in two different continents," He took a deep breath, taking his glasses off his face and putting them to the side. "We're going to be apart."
I didn't what to say to that because it was true. I pressed a kiss against his chest and he put his arm around me drawing me closer to him.
"I don't want to think about it." I told him, looking up at him. "I can see why you didn't tell me."
"I'm sorry." He apologized, pushing my hair back with careful fingers to expose my face.
"It's fine. At least we both got into the school we wanted to get into. You do want to accept this, right?"
Lucas bit his lip and the hesitation was clear in his eyes. Oh no. "I did it's just-"
"Don't let me being away from you stop you from achieving something great." I told him. "I'm not going to be an obstacle here." I pressed a kiss against his lips carefully and he pulled away just a fraction. His nose brushed against mine and I laughed a little at the feeling. Lucas smiled at the sound but it dropped as quick as it came.
"Is long distance even going to work?" He asked in a quiet voice.
I took his hand, squeezing it gently. "Let's focus on the time we have left together." I pressed a kiss to his lips again, hoping to get a reaction out of him and I finally did when he smiled against me.
He pulled back for a second with a raised eyebrow. "Is that a signal for you telling me you want to make out?"
"No." I partially lied, smiling against his shoulder. He laughed, hugging me tightly and kissing me on the cheek with a loud sound resonating from him. "Lucas!" I laughed.
"Don't lie to me. Admit it. You only love me because of my kisses."
"I don't!" I exclaimed, still laughing and he pulled me on top of him, my chin on his chest. Lucas gave me a look and I sighed. "Okay, maybe a little bit."
"I knew it." He pulled me up higher and I kissed him deliberately again.
"You're so-"
"I'm so what?" He teased, getting in my face and starting to tickle me. "Annoying? Annoying, yeah? That's what I am to you? That's what I always am to you."
"Stop!" I laughed loudly, pushing his arms away so that I could hug him properly. I kissed his jaw and from here I could see him close his eyes.
"I love you." I heard him mumble, burying his face into my hair.
"I love you too."
As if on cue, a knock sounded from the door and it opened slowly. Greg had his hands over his eyes as he entered the room, closing the door behind him. "Are you guys decent?. The last thing I want to walk on is you guys naked."
"Greg." I said, sitting up and getting my letters.
Greg uncovered his eyes, sighing in relief. "Oh, thank God. I only came in here because your mom said you guys are leaving and that I should get you from 'phillip's room'" He put finger quotations around 'Phillip's room', winking at the end of the sentence.
"Thanks Greg."
"It's why I'm your favorite Cahill."
"Yeah, yeah, give us a minute," Lucas said, standing up. "Favorite Cahill, my ass."
Greg barked out laughing, leaving the room. I stood up, grabbing Lucas by the hand. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
He pulled me in close, kissing me lightly. "Yeah." He said when he pulled away, his eyes glancing at the letter on his bed before looking at me with certainty on his face. "I'll definitely see you tomorrow."
I gave him a small smile which he returned before pulling away to step out of room when he stopped me before I crossed the threshold. "Wait, Sydney."
"Yeah?"
"Love is begun by time, And time qualifies the spark and fire of it."
"Who said that?"
"Shakespeare. Hamlet. It's only been a couple of months but..." his eyes flickered down to the ground before looking back up at me, a million thoughts possibly rolling through his mind. "I'll see you tomorrow, Canada girl."