"I really wish you'd stop being such a bitch all the time!"
"Maybe I wouldn't be such a bitch if you would stop disrespecting me in my own home!"
"Now ladies, I'm sure there is a civil way to get through thi-"
"That bitch couldn't be civil if she tried!"
"Me? Not civil? I've tried that before but you constantly fight me I don't even have time to be civil!"
"I gave you a chance to be civil when I cut my hair but all you did was get mad and ground me!"
"Well you ran away before I could get anything in! I could have been very civil."
"No you couldn't have! I wish I hadn't come down here I hate you!"
"You don't mean tha-"
"No, Dad, I do mean that. Stay out of it."
"Don't talk to your father like that."
"I'll talk to him however I damn want!"
"Cas-"
"Not under my roof you won't!"
"Case-"
"Your roof!? Since when has it been your roof? It's probably from your sugar daddy, you don't pay a dime!"
"CASEY OH MY GOD." Everyone goes silent turns toward a ghostly pale Skylar with wide eyes. "Let's go out to the car and take a breather, ya?" She stiffly gets up and drags me out to the car.
"What the fuck Skylar I was in the middle of something!"
"If by 'in the middle of something' you mean fighting with your mom, you can definitely take a permanent break from that."
"Skylar I'd love to say you're my rock and you can just fix my family issues by yourself, but that's just not how it works." I say in a slightly mocking soft tone, taking her hand. She scowls and yanks her hand out of mine.
"I don't think I can fix anything at all, it's just I think fighting is utterly pointless and there is no use in doing it. You invited me to spend a nice week with your family, not fight with your parents. I'm not trying to tell you what to do; I just think that you should apologize, or we can leave. You can drop me off home, and I will promptly ignore you for a while." She crosses her arms sternly as I feel a flare of anger rise up my throat.
"You can't just do that! What happens between me and my family has nothing to do with you. weather I apologize to my mom or not shouldn't effect us." I watch as Skylar's face gets warped by anger.
"I'm dating you, that means I'm dating everything about you; no matter how personal. If you ever expect us to get any closer you have to let me. You can't act selfishly anymore, you are sharing your life with me. If you expect me to stay out of your family matters you shouldn't ever think I might be part of yours." Skylar opens the car door and gets out, wrapping her arms around herself against the wind as she walks down the street. I can't say our relationship has been paradise. It seemed that way in the beginning, but since then it's just been fighting. She says I have a hard time being vulnerable, which is totally untrue I've been damn vulnerable with her and yet she still calls me out for it.
I watch as she stomps down the road towards the park. I guess I should go after her, but the heat of anger still pumps through my system so I think it would be best to let her go. The large amount of fighting in our relationship could be partially due to how quickly we went into this. I was already in love the week we met. We were already girlfriend status not even two weeks after meeting. And then after that fact, we just don't know each other. We interact like people who have known each other for years, but we in fact know virtually nothing about each other. I don't know her personality that well, or what makes her tick or what she hates or what she likes. I am basically in a relationship with a stranger.
I rest my head against the dash and sigh. This really was not how I was planning my weekend to go. I have no one on my side right now. I'm alone. Well, I have Parker but he couldn't come because of midterms. I decide pull out my phone and dial his number, hoping to find refuge in him.
"Yello?" Parker answers after two rings.
"I need some reassurance bud." I say casually to him, trying to not let him know how much I might have fucked up. He tends to read me very well and react strongly before I've even explain the situation to him.
"Sure, what's up?" He replies, obviously not catching on yet.
"I told Skylar some stuff and she's not really happy with me." I keep it vague even though there really is no point, he'll find out soon enough; I just want to prolong this nice Parker before it turns into hell fire anger Parker.
"Okay, what'd you say?"
"Uh, something along the lines of stay out of my personal life or something like that."
"Oh my god Casey." I can practically see him rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "You can't just say that! Is there like, context? That sounds like a mid fight statement to me."
"Well she said she'd go home early and ignore me if I didn't make up with my mom." He groans into my ear.
"Casey, you fought with your mom too? In front of your girlfriend? Do you have any dignity? Any class?"
"I didn't fucking start it okay?"
"I don't care if you fucking started it, it's just that you didn't finish it. Did she drag you out screaming?" I frown at my phone and grumble.
"No." I say with the least conviction.
"I think you should apologize to both her and your mom. Skylar is in the right here not you." I huff and grumble some sort of an agreement. Parker hums with satisfaction before hanging up without saying goodbye. It's obvious he isn't happy with me and I question why I even called him in the first place. I thought he might offer some different perspective; but no such luck. Now everyone is mad with me and I truly have no one. Why did I do that? I am really as dumb as Parker says I am?
I grab the blanket in the back seat that was left over from our final day in Oregon and open the car door to climb out, shoving my hands into my pockets and walking down the road towards the park. I have no clue where Skylar is and I wouldn't expect her to either considering she doesn't live here. I don't think she would have gone far, so I stick near the path that runs through the middle of the park. I reach nearly the other side of the worn path when I see Skylar sitting on a stony bench with her legs tucked under her, earbuds in her ears and eyes closed. Her eyebrows are stitched together and her fists are clenched and resting against her thighs.
Approaching her quietly, I drape the blanket over her shoulders. I turn around quickly, kind of hoping that I can just leave without her even trying to acknowledge me, but before even a step I hear her say my name. I tense up and slowly turn around to see her just like before, eyes closed earbuds in. I slowly approach her and sit next to her on the bench, leaving ample space between us as to not bother her.
She takes out an earbud and holds it out for me to take. I hesitantly put it in to be met with the song that was playing in my car the first day we met. I start to relax and turn towards her, looking over her face that is exactly the same as it has been since I found her. I reach out and gently take her hand in mine, watching as her face softens a little, eyes still closed. We sit there listening to a playlist of songs that we've attached memories to over our weeks of being together. Very cheesy and very romantic.
"I was going to give you a mixtape for our anniversary; this is it." Skylar says softly as she sighs, her shoulders slumping, seemingly letting go of being mad at me. She opens her eyes and looks at me with a soft, sad smile. I open my arms and turn towards her. She scoots into my embrace and wraps the blanket around both of us as I kiss her head and sigh into her hair.
This is how it always went: we'd fight, she'd storm off, I realize she's right, then go after her, making up but neither of us really saying sorry. It has now become normal, almost routine. There isn't a week where we don't bicker. I can feel that we both believe our romantic relationship is coming to an end. A permanent end? I'm not sure; all I know is that we need a break, and I can feel she thinks so to. Despite that, I am going to spend this last week we are physically stuck together basking in the relationship glow before breaking it off. I'm going to make this the best week we have had together.
"I just realized I haven't shown you all my favorite places." I say to her, leaning back to look into her eyes. I see a small glimmer of excitement, one I haven't seen in a while as she gives me a little smile.
"No you haven't, I think you should show me." She stands up and offers me a hand, pulling me to my feet.
"Well we should get going then right? We only have until Friday. I have a lot of things to show you."
...
We walk into the grocery store and I make a beeline for the flowers, picking out the prettiest, biggest bunch.
"Do you have a piece of paper and a pen?" I ask Skylar.
"I have a sticky note and a crappy pencil I found on the floor. Will that work?" I nod and write something along the lines of 'I'm sorry, I love you, and I'll be back later' and shove it into the flowers so it's just sticking out. "Who are those for?" Skylar asks, motioning to the flowers.
"My mom, I thought I might do a little more than apologize to her. A little peace offering."
"Wait really? You are apologizing to your mom?"
"Ya, this really smart and beautiful person with good advice said I should."
"Was it me?"
"Nah it was Parker." She shoves me playfully and laughs.
"Well then I'm not giving you advice anymore so ha."
"Well you're also supposed to be ignoring me too but you aren't doing that so double ha..." she gives me a fake glare as we buy the flowers and leave the store, walking back to my house. I tell Skylar to get in the car and put the keys in as I run up the steps, put the flowers on the doorstep, ring the bell, and run to my getaway car. I fling myself into the drivers seat and drive off at a quick but safe speed.
"Where are we headed?" Skylar asks as I pull onto the freeway.
"I can't tell you where we are going. It's a surprise." she huffs sarcastically and looks out the window again. I exit the freeway and make my way towards the huge warehouse down the road. A giant sign reading "lazer" in neon colors hangs by a side door.
We get inside as low ambient light dampens our vision. You would think a reception desk wouldn't be that great to have in a dark room but somehow everything goes off without a hitch. I pull out my punch-card for free laser tag after 6 visits. This is my 7th visit which is convenient.
"Hey Casey, long time no see. Laser tag for 2?"
"Hey Trent, ya that's it."
We suit up in our oh so fashionable sensor filled vests that Skylar looks admittedly very cute in, and step into the even darker, black light filled room. We all immediately fan out down different corridors. I am immediately shot by a child smaller than my knees, and then continuously tracked by said child until Skylar shot him from behind. After I know where she is its like shes the only other person in the room. We sent shots back and forth, shouting expletives every time we hit, miss, or get hit. Basically firing off a round of cuss words after every move we make.
Skylar, after a hard fought battle, reigns victorious. The by the end it was basically me hiding while everyone else ganged up on me, because somehow Skylar managed to make an alliance with a bunch of 10 year olds without saying a word. On top of that Skylar pulled some fanfic shit and told me she wanted to make out in the corner. She shot me like 10 times. It was unfortunate.
We end up leaving around 5 in the afternoon, so I decide to take Skylar to my favorite place to eat; the little sub shop down the street from my house that's cheap and delicious. We take our sandwiches to go and watch the crappy sunset and it rains so now we're soaking the seats of my truck with our sopping clothes.
"Why did you think watching the sunset was a good idea?" Skylar says through the blanket she has wrapped around her.
"No, don't try and blame that shit on me, I was content eating it in the shop but you insisted we watch the sunset even though it's been overcast all day." She looks at me and scowls a not so convincing scowl and crosses her arms.
"How was I supposed to know it wouldn't be a great sunset?"
"Skylar you have a phone with a weather app, you could have easily checked it."
"Well you could have told me no!" She throws her arms up in defeat.
"How could I say no to those eyes?" She tries to disguise a laugh with a grumble and pushes my arm lightly.
"So what else do you have planned for us?" Sky asks.
" You still think I'm going to tell you? Yea, fat chance."
"Oh come on! I hate surprises..."
"I thought you loved surprises?" I say looking at her with a smirk.
"Well I don't get surprised all that often, I forgot what it felt like." I laugh as she pouts with defeat.
"Well right now the plan is to go home and dry off, does that sound okay to you?"
"Yeah I would like that."
...
After I drove us home I found my parents had left to go out for dinner. My mother left a lengthy and sweet apology note by the flowers I had bought, now resting in a vase. I took our wet blanket and jackets and put them in the dryer. I showed Skylar to the shower and insisted she go first since she was the guest. I let her get started and went to get her a towel for when she got out. I softly rap on the cracked door with my knuckles.
"Skylar, its just me, I brought you a towel for when you're done." I set the towel on the closed lid of the toilet and turn to leave.
"Thanks Casey... Uh hey, before you go... uhm can I ask you something? Its okay if you don't want to you can say no I-"
"You can ask me anything Sky" I say to her worried voice.
"Do you want to get in? With me? Now?" she says awkwardly.
"Now?"
"Now..." she quietly confirms as I begin to quietly undress. She stammers back to life from the other side of the curtain
"Uh, you don't have to if you want I just figured it'd be more efficient and-" I pull back the curtain and she jumps with a start eyes wide. She struggles not to let her eyes jump away from my face as I begin to step into the shower.
"Move over I'm getting in."
"Oh, uh, right." she steps to the side as I fully step in and close the curtain, facing Skylar. She looks at me with wide owlish eyes as water sprays over her back. I smile and begin to laugh. Her eyes open wider as she watches me heartily chuckle at our situation. Her stiffness begins to melt away as I nudge her out from under the water. I begin to run through my regular shower routine as I face away from Skylar, feeling her discomfort run down the drain with the water.
"You know, everyone says their best thoughts are in the shower, mine are while driving. All I think about while showering is dumb stuff. Like how come all cups don't have handles? that'd make everything way more convenient." I say as I scrub shampoo into my scalp.
"I don't know that's a pretty good thought. You should start making handled cups that aren't mugs." she says from behind me.
"If I had any talent for dishware manufacturing maybe I'd consider it."
"I don't think you need any talent you just need an idea and the dedication to make it real."
"That was very inspirational Sky, would you hand me the conditioner?"
"Only if you let me have a turn under the water."
"Fine, right this way Ma'am."
We cycle under the water through each step of our routines, talking the entire time. Talking eventually evolves into loud covers of power ballads paired with shampoo bottle microphones and fantastic mouth instrumentation. Eventually we end up sitting on the floor under the water to have a heart to heart. We talk about us. She confirms my fears that we took things too fast, and that it is decidedly our downfall. She also agrees that we shouldn't let it stop us from having a good time for this week. Being on the same page lifts a weight I didn't know was there, and makes my heart feel all the more free. We decide that after we get home this week, we should go our separate ways for the time being. Grow on our own and come back together stronger and more ready to evolve together as a team instead of to separate and conflicting entities.
At some point I couldn't tell what was water from the shower and what was tears. We sat there until the water ran cold, and then some more even after that. I stand up and grab her hands, pulling her up with me. We share a soft and almost mournful kiss. I pick up her towel and wrap her in it, embracing her with the comfort of fabric between us. The most open and vulnerable I have ever been with her emotionally was paired with this physical vulnerability. This intimacy came less from our physical situation, but more from the openness and expression we've never really had before. I feel closer to her than before, but that closeness has the looming promise of it all being over by the end of the week.
I have to make it right.