Dedicated To: insensitive_bitch for singing my favorite song with me and making my fucking day ✌â¤
•Steven's POV•
It's always cold in New York. That's how I see it at least. Coming from California, I'm used to the heat but I moved to New York for college, much to my parents dismay. They were hoping I would attend Harvard or Yale like the both of them did. But that wasn't what I wanted.
I spent two years at Brown University, then a year at Cornell, and I finally transferred to New York University. My parents really lost their shit then. I mean I left two of the most famous colleges in the world for NYU.
But you see the thing is they didn't really give me what I wanted. I was so miserable there, I wasn't learning anything useful. All that those colleges were was a name. A name that the past made very famous but the present couldn't do justice.
I wasn't in High School anymore and I was tired of being in a classroom where I was smarter than the person teaching. But anyway, I went to NYU, majoring in Criminal Justice and Psychology and minoring in Graphic Design.
Right now I work as a partner at a law firm, but it obvious that's not where my heart is. I don't love what I do. I'm not in love with my job or my life right now. But it's not as easy as just quitting.
It's like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
I can't even explain it.
''Are you ready?'' Mariana appeared behind me. She wrapped her arms around my waist from behind. Hugging me tightly.
It was Saturday. The third Saturday in this month to be exact and we were about to go out on a date night with our friends. You see one of the things that I admire about Mariana is that she's a hopeless romantic.
She loves love and it's adorable when her face lights up from something sweet. I get enjoyment from being her something sweet, I won't even lie.
''Yeah,'' I answered. We walked out of our large walk in closet, her arms still snuggly around me. ''Where are we going again?'' I asked. I turned around, facing her.
A shriek flew threw the air as I scooped her up, her legs went around my waist and I carried her over to the bed where I lied down on top of her. She smiled, her hand coming up to run along my jawline.
''Well Garreth and Suzanne wanted to go to ice skating. And then maybe we could go out to eat at that really nice restaurant on Baker St.'' She announced.
I gripped the underneath of her thighs with my hands. Her hand laced itself in my hair, the other rested on my chest.
''I really hate the cold, Mariana. Ice skating doesn't sound fun.'' I said, pouting. She plucked my nose with a finger of the hand that was once on my chest.
''You'll enjoy it, I promise. And the cold's not that bad, baby. You've been here for three years. I thought you would have gotten used to it by now.'' She said. I shook my head.
''I have California blood in veins, my little Marie. I'm never going to get used to this weather.'' I told her as a sigh slipped free from my lips. Luckily, we're going back to California in two months, not to lucky we have to stay with my parents. I'm still on the losing side of an argument with her about just staying at a hotel nearby. She's trying to bond with my Mother before the wedding though.
She pulled my face to hers, I closed my eyes kissing her lips softly. ''I'll keep you warm.'' She whispered against my lips. Her hand grew tighter in my hair and her lips lingered onto my neck.
I glanced at my watch. There was only thirty minutes to seven o'clock.
''Do we even have time?'' I asked. She chuckled, releasing my hair from her grip.
''We really don't.'' She said with a sigh. I laughed, placing a kiss to her forehead.
''Look at that,'' I teased. ''I have you yearning for more.'' I laughed as she slapped my chest.
''Dope,'' She mocked.
I got to my feet, helping her up.
''Let's go then.'' I said, taking her hand.
∆∆∆∆
''Oh so I see you got sucked into their little date night skate night scheme too.'' Garreth said as he sucked on a cancer stick. We were standing out side the ice rank. Mariana and Suzanne had already gone in the building to get the skates.
''If I remember correctly, I was just informed that you came up with this as well. C'mon dude, you know I hate the cold.'' I said, swatting the air in front of me to get the smoke out of my face.
''Aye, they set this up all on their own,'' He glanced back at the door of the building. ''We could ditch and swing back when they're done skating.''
''Hell no.'' I said immediately, just thinking about how mad Mariana would be at me.
''Pussy.'' Garreth teased. He laugh, dropping his cigarette to the ground and stomping on it. I flicked him off.
''That's exactly what you won't be getting from Suzanne tonight if you keep acting like an asshole. C'mon lets go inside before they come out.'' I told him. He stuck his hands in his pockets and began to look around. I was about to walk off but stopped next to him. ''What's up?'' I asked seriously.
''Man, I don't really see a future with this woman. I don't want to just string her along but I need her or the firm won't give me that promotion. They want a stable, focused, family man for the position and right now, to them, I'm the best candidate.'' He sighed. ''What the hell is my life Steven? When did I become such a prick?'' He asked. He sounded so morally disappointed in himself.
''After college,'' I answered honestly. ''After Kate.'' I said, mentioning his ex-fiancé who said I don't in such a classy way as to hookup with his brother seven days before their wedding date. After that I saw the heart draining from him. He became a vibrant asshole. He was very aware of what he was doing when he cheated on girls or broke their heart. He didn't like it but he did it.
Their pain eased his pain. But their pain also made his wounded heart ache.
I can relate to Garreth on a certain level because heartbreak isn't unfamiliar to me.
''God I hate her so fucking much but she wrecks my brain every time I even touch another woman. Every time I look at Suzanne I see Kate. I mean--She broke my heart, she cheated on me and I know I'm an idiot for still loving her but...but,''
''You don't have to explain it to me,'' I told him, seeing that he was struggling for words. I understand. And I know it's very hard to explain. ''You are a prick for just using Suzanne though. That, I won't lie to you about.''
''I know,'' He responded, running a hand over his misty eyes. ''I know, I'm going to tell her soon--''
''Soon, as in after you get the promotion.'' I stated. He looked at me. I raised both my hands in front of me in mock surrender. Sometimes my credentials get the best of me. ''I'm not judging. I just want you to hear it spoken out loud. What you do is your business Garreth, and I'm not your God so I'm not going to cast judgment on you.'' I told him.
''Okay look, let me tell you this before you piss me off and I change my mind,'' I laughed as he spoke. ''I had a client who was talking about needing an experienced GD guy to do their new billboard. I mentioned you and the CEO says that if you come in on Monday and show him what you can do he'll consider hiring you.''
I sighed. The topic got me tense and I found my self cracking my knuckles. Garreth cringed bringing his hand up to cover his ears.
''I hate that god-awful sound, fuck Steven.'' He complained.
''I have a job. A very well paying job that many people would kill for--''
''You wouldn't take nor threaten a life for that job. You hate it. C'mon how are you going to stand here and lie to me. I've known you for four years!'' An exasperated sigh left his lip. ''Look my ass is on the line with this client basically. Just show up. You don't have to take the job but just make me look good.'' He groaned out.
''Fine, fine dude, whate--''
''Baby!'' Mariana's voice floated through the midnight air. We turned around to see both women standing in the doorway of the skating rink building. ''C'mon let's go.'' She said, waving us over.
∆∆∆∆
''Baby don't be so bitter,'' Mariana whined as she wiped my face with her napkin. I rolled my eyes.
I fell on my ass about a thousand times. But wait, that's not even why I'm mad. I kept skating, or at least attempting to skate, for her and she didn't even want to skate with me.
She spent the whole time joking with Suzanne and skating with Suzanne. I mean, what the fuck?
And when I finally got bored of it I went to go sit in the stands with Garreth and she got upset with me. First the cold, then the job offer, then the skating scandal and then sitting in the stands I had Garreth whispering in my ear about how I should come out with the guys tonight.
Basically this whole night was a disaster. But what was I going to do?
Nothing.
So I put a smile on my face and turned to look at Mariana. We were at the Restaurant on Baker St., I think it's La Riffite, it's her favorite. We were seated in a booth, Suzanne and Garreth sat just in front us on the other side of the booth.
''I'm not bitter, just cold.'' I reminded her. I leaned over and placed my lips on her cheek. She looked at me and smiled, then proceeded to connect her lips with mines.
''Aye aye aye, you're in public.'' Garreth teased, making me pull my lips from hers. I laughed, flicking him off.
∆∆∆∆
''You're leaving this early?'' Mariana asked upon me rolling out of the bed and standing up. I started to stretch. She rolled over and looked at me.
''Yeah,'' I answered. I looked over to the clock to see it was five on the dot.
''I thought you were off today. Where are you going?''
I thought about it. Typically, I don't lie to Mariana. I mean why even be in a relationship if you're going to have secrets? You should feel comfortable enough to tell this person that you promise your life to everything right?
Right.
But here's the thing. When I met Mariana she was a transfer from Julliard to NYU. At Julliard she danced ballet. She's such a beautiful dancer. She came to NYU to get a fashion degree, which is her current career, she designs clothes.
When she met me I was getting my Minor in Graphic Design. And I told her that that was my dream, that it was the future I wanted for myself. But when I finally got out of college and went home for a few months, my parents crushed my dreams, per usual.
Mariana witnessed this firsthand, as I was introducing her to them over this time period. It happened at diner. My Father went on this everlasting rant and me, feeling pretty ballsie, argued back.
''Formally, I'd like to introduce you all to my girlfriend Mariana Wen. We studied at NYU together.'' I said, taking my seat at the dinner table next to Mariana.
My sister, Kathy, sat across from us and my parents were on either side of the table.
''Oh you mean after you finished college hopping?'' Kathy asked sarcastically. I glared at her.
I hated my older sister with a burning fucking passion. It's all her fault. I blamed her for the Damien situation because if it wasn't for her stupid ass comments at dinner that night, maybe me and him would have a future together.
Maybe we would've made it out of this horrible ass town. But thanks to her I'll never know. And for that very reason I'll never forgive her.
''No one asked for your input you first born fuck up. At least I got accepted into more than two colleges.'' I sneered in her direction. She turned my stomach. I no longer had an appetite.
''Aye, watch your language son. And your sister was on the right track with her question. Was this after you left two of the best schools in the world?'' He asked.
Before the words could escape my mouth I felt Mariana slip her hand into mine, embracing tightly.
''Yes, Mr. Yeiun. Steven and I both transferred to New York University for our final year. It was actually kind of cute the way we met. We were both in the study field of the Arts and--''
''The Arts?'' My Mother asked, interrupting Mariana.
I felt my body tense. Fuck. Here we go again.
''Excuse me, Mariah--''
''Mariana--'' I corrected her quickly. She was just doing that out of blanted disrespect.
''But did you just say the Arts?'' She asked again. Mariana glanced at me nervously after peeping my Mothers reaction. I could tell she was begging me to take the conversation from here but honestly I was afraid of what would come out of my mouth.
''Yes, ma'am, but--''
''Son you're going into Law. You're going to be a Lawyer, we've already discussed this so speak now if you still have any confusion over the topic.'' My Father spoke.
''He's just stubborn. He won't listen to you until he fucks up.'' Kathy teased. I ignored her, strongly letting it roll off my back.
''That's not true, he's an incredible artist. I've seen his work and I'm sure you'd be astounded if you ever supported him enough to view any of it. And just so you know Mrs. and Mr. Yeiun, art isn't all about the flashy exterior, especially the field of art that your son is involved in. He's a very talented, intelligent man and back at the University it took five professors about a month to do what he could do in one day.'' Mariana defended quickly.
God, this is why I love this woman.
''It really doesn't matter what my son's hobbies are young lady. His career field has been chosen already and that's final.'' My Father said. ''Now lets eat before the food gets cold.''
''I find it extremely funny how everyone at this table thinks that they have a say-so in my life. It's my life. I'm going to do what I want with it which is exactly why I left all of those stupid fucking legend filled colleges. My 'hobbies' are going to be my career whether you all accept it or not. I don't need your approval or your help to get where I'm going. I'll be just fine without you all!'' I yelled, standing up from the table.
''You seemed to have lost all your values Steven Ken Yeiun. Your Mother and I have set out a plan for you and your future that you will gratefully follow--''
''Like hell I will.'' I challenged.
''Steven,'' Mariana whispered nervously as she stood up beside me.
''Do not make me disown you from this family. I've been very lenient with you over the years but you're about to bring me to that point Steven.'' He threatened.
I shook my head, disbelief swarming my thoughts.
''Lets go,'' I said, pulling Mariana along with me as I left the house.
Once we were in the car, I felt her arm rubbing my shoulder gently. ''I'll support you no matter what you do. I really don't care Steven, as long as it makes you happy, it makes me happy.'' She said softly.
I ran my hands through my hair. I turned and looked at her.
''I'm sorry,'' I apologized. She looked confused. ''I wouldn't have brought you down here if I had known they were going to act like this. You know I haven't seen them in four years and for some delirious reason I thought that they would have changed. But now I've let them disrespect you and pull me back into a life that I don't want--''
''You don't have to do what they tell you to--''
''But I do. You-You just don't understand. I know that I'm an adult now, and I know that this is my life, but my family-- my parents have fucked me up so bad mentally, I can't live with the guilt of disappointing them no matter how selfish their intentions are. They're so fucking manipulating and I'm so god damn gullible.''
My eyes were burning but I wasn't ready to let tears fall. I stopped crying a long time ago. Mariana leaned forward and placed her lips to my cheek.
''Like I said,'' She spoke. ''I'll support you no matter what.''
So you see I wouldn't be keeping this a secret from her because she doesn't approve. It's the exact opposite. Her being the amazing person she is, she'll all but shove me in the direction of my dream.
But I don't think I'm ready to switch careers yet. I may not love my current job but my commitment has already been placed into it and I'm not one to do something half assed.
So I won't keep this a secret from her. But just to keep me calm while going into this I'll tell her after. And hopefully by luck it won't even go well, but for Garreth I'll give it my all.
''I am off today,'' I replied. ''But I promised Garreth I'd help him with a client he had. It's nothing big. I'll tell you about it when I get home.'' I said, smiling before walking into the bathroom combined to our room.
I climbed into the shower, quickly soaping up and washing off. By the time I was putting my coat on it was 5:40. The client, I still didn't know who they were, set the meeting up for 7:00 but I intended on being early. First impressions break the ice extremely better than words.
I left the house, locking the door behind me, getting into my car and heading towards the address that Garreth had sent me this morning. When I was halfway there I plopped my Bluetooth into my ear and hit his name under contacts on my dashboard.
''It's only 5:55, why the hell are you up this early?'' He groaned into the phone. I rolled my eyes.
''Because I have a life outside of this meeting so I'd like to get it over quickly. Who am I meeting with? I need some prep info Garreth.'' I asked, enjoying the sound of his aggravated groans on the other end of the phone.
''He's this Model Agent turned every gay mans dream career type guy. He has his own agency, clothing line, and much more. Just recently he's planning the release of his first perfume collection which is where you come into play. He needs someone to design his new billboard for the publicity of the collection. Warning: he's a very picky asshole.'' Garreth mumbled out, half asleep.
''Thanks buddy, but his name would be very useful as well.'' I reminded.
''Javier Stark.'' He said. I clicked the end call button, pulling into a parking space in the parking garage.
I grabbed my laptop case and brief before climbing out of the car. I took a deep breath, welcoming anxiety back into my body and then pushing it all out.
∆∆∆∆
A firm grip is what enveloped my hand. I smiled professionally, shaking the older mans hand.
''It's a pleasure Mr. Stark.'' I said. He gestured for me to have a seat, so I did. I sat across from him on the other side of his desk as he sat down as well.
''From what I've been hearing from Mr. Bontoni, if you're truly as talented as he says, then the pleasure is all mine young man.'' He said.
''Well that's what we're here to see right? Let's get started.'' I began, taking the initiative as though I was at my own job. Mr. Stark let out a laugh.
''You've got a spark in you Mr. Yeiun. I like that. So here's what I need from you, a few words and image cuts on a picture. As simple as that.'' He stated, sitting back in his chair. I began to take my laptop from it's bag.
''If you don't mind me asking Sir, if it's that simple why didn't you just hire a company to do it?'' I asked. He entwined his fingers, letting them rest on his lower chest as he looked at me.
''I thought I was.'' He spoke simply. Now it was my turn to laugh. When I asked Garreth for all of the info I needed before hand any lies he told the man would've been very helpful too.
''I actually specialize in the field of law, Sir. Although I do have a very in depth talent with Graphic Design. I minored in it at NYU.'' I informed him. He shrugged.
''Well actions speak louder than words Mr. Yeiun and if your work impresses me we'll talk business. It's 6:30 now, I'll give you an hour and thirty minutes to present me with some options to choose from. You may use my desk to set up your equipment, I'll be back at 7:30 sharp.'' He stated.
He stood up, walking from behind his desk and I got to my feet as well taking a manila folder and a flash drive that he was handing to me.
''Here's the digital and printed copies of the images you'll be using.'' He said. I opened the manila folder.
My breathing stopped. And really that's how I stood for a good while because all I could see was blue.
The blue of Damien Vitale's eyes.
Life must want to fuck me left and right today. I didn't even notice that Mr. Stark hadn't left his office yet until I heard his voice.
''Is there something wrong with the image?'' He asked. I quickly closed the folder, taking a silent deep breath before turning to look at the older business suit dressed man.
''I'm brainstorming.'' I told him.
''I'll leave you to it.'' He said, exiting the office.
I'm not even going to lie and say I immediately got to work after he left because to be completely honest I spent the better half of that hour and thirty minutes staring at Damien's face.
My god, it's been seven years since I've seen this man and now looking at his face, I can barely find my sanity.
He's a model now?
I couldn't find my footing mentally. I was ecstatic. I was happy to see that he was alive. I was happy to see his face.
But now I'm furious. I'm furious because he's alive and he never came back for me. I'm furious because looking at his face is bringing back so many memories. And most evident in my mind right now is the memory of him leaving me.
He left me in that hotel room all alone.
And what's really pissing me off at this point is the fact that he really never came to look for me.
I shook my head. I can't think about this. I can't. It'll pull me back into that depressed period of my life.
Maybe it's not even him. Maybe it's only a model who just so happens to look like him.
I sighed.
Maybe I'm just fucking kidding myself.
I glanced at my watch. It's 7:00 already?
Damn.
I quickly got to work. Producing three final images for Mr. Stark to choose from, I looked at my watch again and it was 7:20.
I took my time. Luckily, I've never needed much time to Design. It's like second nature to me.
At 7:25 Mr. Stark entered the office again.
''You're early.'' I said casually, removing the flash drive from my laptop. I closed my laptop and got up from his desk, handing him the flash drive as I walked pass him on my way to my previous seat.
''Just returning the favor.'' He replied, sitting down.
''I made you three images,'' I spoke as he inserted the flash drive into his computer. ''There's a bare edit, a night-time edit and a day-light edit. Personally, I find the night-time edit to be most appealing but of course it's your choice.''
''Of course,'' He said. I watched his eyes scan over the images. I could see in his facial features that he was scrutinizing every single detail, but that's exactly what he was supposed to do.
''Okay your bare edit isn't worth shit to me. I feel like you over used the contrast in attempt to up the realistic feel but that's fine because I neglected to tell you that we're selling the fantasy, not the real thing. However, your other two edits I'm extremely impressed with and don't take this too lightly Mr. Yeiun. It's very rare that I'm impressed.'' He concluded. He stood up and I did the same, picking up my laptop case and brief as well.
''I'll let you know when I've decided between the two. Then we can talk payment and discuss further business.'' He offered his hand out to me. We shook hands and I left his office.
As soon as I climbed into my car I dug into my brief case and pulled out the manila folder, opening it and continuing to stare at his face.
The face I never thought I'd see again.
∆A/N∆
Steven is hitting memory lane pretty hard. Lucky his memories bring us closer to Damien.
Everyone must thank Garreth right now because if not for him there would be no job interview which would mean no meeting Damien's father figure Mr. Javier Stark, and potentially never having Damien run across Stevens mind again.
\(^-^)/
Please comment and let me know what you think of this story!
Please Vote!
Posted: December 23, 2016.