A/N
sorry this took do much. I don't know how you guys don't hate me lol. This chapter is a little longer than the last so I hope you guys like it. Love you!
-A
It's just about time for b-stage, which just so happens to be one of my favourite parts of the night. Choreography had been cut down to a minimum for twenty two. My dancers still danced but more so... Around me, then with me. Rylee's orders. She said she didn't want the baby going through any more distress than it already had.
I hope up the stairs and kneel down attempting to hand as many guitar picks out to the screaming girls bending themselves over the bar as far as they could. After handing them out, I stood back up, blowing kisses. Mom handed me my guitar and I ran my hand over my enlarged stomach, situating myself at the stool. I take a glance around before saying anything to absorb in what was happening. The fans were still screaming, holding up signs with lights. I didn't think this would be the outcome. I figured that after the program aired the next day it would be completely different. I figured I would be judged and hated and looked down upon. Instead, they're still here, and that's beyond crazy to me.
"So, I was standing on the stage back there and I noticed how beautiful the signs were on this side of the arena, so I thought maybe I would come get a better look. Would that be alright?" The crowd goes insane and I laugh, adjusting my microphone. "This is the part of the show where it's just me and my guitar, and I just kinda... Sit and play whatever I'm in the mood for." I pluck some strings, fiddling with some chords, trying to figure out what I'm going to play tonight. The crowd cheers as anticipation fills the arena. Vibrations press through my guitar right against my stomach, but when I stop, I feel it.. Back? But different. As if someone ran their finger along my stomach, but inside.
The feeling is indescribable and I'm taken back by it quite a bit. I wasn't expecting this. It's nothing like what I thought it would be. It's not exactly a...kick. More so a.. Flutter. A mere sign of existence. But I feel it and I'm so absorbed in the feeling of the child inside me, I nearly forget that I'm on stage. I turn to see my mom, wide eyes like a deer caught in headlights. I light up, my entire sense of being changing. "Mom," I mouth, covering the microphone, "I felt it! The baby! They moved!" I say, and I don't realize the tear falling don't my cheek until it hits my lip. Mom's expressions changes into a smile and a short laugh before wiping the tears that started to interfere. She makes arm movements for me to turn my attention back to the audience and I sink back into reality, my hand gracing of over my stomach. "I'm so sorry about that, I just um... Well, as most of you know by now, yes I am pregnant." I don't intend to pause but the crowd goes crazy and I'm cut off. Their enthusiasm is more than I could've expected. I've figured that would've hated me, but instead, they're cheering me on. "Y'all have been so crazy supportive this past month and it blows my mind that all you guys do for me. And apparently, it does the baby too. I don't know how many mothers are in the audience tonight but those are the people I'm identifying with right now because well..." I take a short breath and laugh, "I just felt my baby move for the first time and I can't imagine a better moment than to share it all with you." I look to the side of the stage and smile at my mom who is fighting back tears herself. "This is the part where I get to play a song I haven't in awhile, and I haven't played this song on tour yet, and it seems pretty fitting. This song... It's a thank you song to my mom, and to all the moms out there. This is called The Best Day."
---Harry---
"Do you miss her?" Niall asks and I scoff.
"Yeah, not at all." I say, rolling my eyes.
"She's not worth it." Louis states, not even looking up from his phone. As the words shoot from his mouth I nearly choke. "She's just another superstar. She's already hurt you. Let. Her. Go."
Niall whimpers between us, sitting on the couch with the tv playing as a background. "I don't think you should say that about Taylor." He says, "she's a nice girl, she's going through a lot."
Louis huffs and puts his phone in his lap. "Look, I want what's best for you, and that's not Taylor. You gave her everything she could have ever wanted. Then you want to spend the rest of your life with her, expressing it with a ring and she turns it down. She let's you down. Then, she gets pregnant. The 'love of your life' gets pregnant and she doesn't want to keep it so you ask her to marry you... Again. But just like before, she turns you down. Breaking you a little bit more. Then she goes in the hospital for who knows what, and when she arrives home she tells you to get out. Yes Harry. That's 'true love'.
"So your telling me if Eleanor made you work for your relationship, you wouldn't try?" I say. Louis is the protective one. Always has been. But I'm quite hurt. He doesn't have to be this... Harsh.
"She would never do that." Louis shrugs as if this is something to be nonchalant about. His phone is back in his hands, scrolling.
"She needs me." I insist. "Just like I need her. Like every relationship. You need balance."
"Sure. Whatever you say." He laughs and I've never been more disgusted by anyone's words before.
"Fuck this." I say under my breath. When I'm looking for help and sympathy from my best friends the last thing I need is for them to turn this around on me. I stand with clenched fists and starting to walk near the door.
"Ya know, if you think you're gonna go see Taylor again you're crazy. Management will eat you alive. They still aren't over last week." Louis laughs, "they'll kick you out."
I turn at the balls of my feet, my eyebrows narrowed. "You guys are nothing without me. It's up to them if they make that mistake. But I'm not about to let the one person that makes me believe in everything good, get away."
Niall sits in shock and Louis looks up from his phone. "Don't be coming back to us when you're kicked out from, not only the band, but Taylor's heart."
Filled with furry, I walk out, disgust dragging through me. I pick my phone out from my pocket and dial Elaine, the one that's in charge of our flights and transportation. "Hello Harry." She answers with a sigh.
"I need a flight to Tacoma tomorrow."
"Harry, I can't do that."
"Why the hell not?!"
She sighs, "Simon told me if I book you one more flight without permission I'll be fired. You know I need this job."
I don't really thing before I reply. I'm way too caught up in thinking about Taylor and getting to her. "I've got permission, Elaine. Book me the quickest flight they have."
"Harry... Are you sure?" She stutters and it makes me worry.
"It's an emergency." I say, "just get me a flight. It's important."
"Fine," she says and I hear fingers typing. "Tomorrow at five in the afternoon is the soonest flight available."
"Okay thanks, send me the info." I hang up, not giving her a chance to change her mind. So now I had the flight, I just had to get into Taylor's hotel. And where Taylor is, Ali is. And Ali is the key to answers. Taylor hasn't been answering my texts or calls but that didn't mean Ali wouldn't. Now, I just had to figure out how I was going to convince her.
---Taylor---
"Ali!" I scream, running off stage, swiping the sweat from my forehead. Adrenaline runs through my body, but all I care is telling Ali what I've experienced. "Has anyone seen Ali?" I ask, handing my finale hat to the stage manager but he shakes his head and walks away. When I notice Ali I run to her, engulfing he into the strongest embrace possible. "I felt the baby!" I say, but my words are muffled into her shoulder.
"Oh my gosh, Taylor! Are you serious?" She says, pushing herself away and holding me at arms length with a over gracious smile.
"Yes!" I insist taking her hand and holding it to my belly beneath the layers of clothing. "Come on little one... Move... Please?" I push her hand around my stomach hoping to feel something, and with time it comes. Ali lights up, her eyes going bright and her smile increasing. Tears come to my eyes and I jump into a hug.
"I think this calls for a apple cider celebration!" I laugh.
•••
After a celebration of apple cider and cheesecake, I take a long hot shower. I stand in the mirror staring at my body. How my body changed so much was such a surprise. Maybe it was Ali and her dedication into making sure I ate. Ali was an angel, and not only my saviour, but the baby's too.
My thoughts replay to the girl in the meet and greet today and how our conversation played out for what seemed like hours. I wanted to keep talking to her forever. And tell her everything I had ever gone through. Explain how going down the path of insecurities isn't okay and it's the biggest block you will ever encounter. It messes you up. It messed me up. But it's never too late to get back up on your feet. And that's all that I can hope she will do.
If the baby in my stomach turns to be a girl, I can only hope that she never turns to the things I do. That she would never self harm or starve herself. I want her to be the person she is, not what a boyfriend or someone else wants her to be. Maybe I'll be able to help her though it. I mean, it's bound I see her sometimes. She's apart of my life, Ali is. Ali and Rob. And I doubt they'll just walk out of my life. I won't let them. I need to know how the child I bared for nine months is doing. The one with my genes... The one will Harry's genes.
I walk out of the bathroom to see Ali concentrated on the phone call she's in. Praying it's not Rob with some kind of fight. "Who is it?" I whisper and she pushes a strand of hair behind her ear looking at me.
"No, sorry. I think you have the wrong number." She pauses. "Sorry! Bye!" She hangs up.
"Who was it?" I ask looking through my suitcase for some pyjamas that actually fit.
"Some guy named Henry... Trying to find his girlfriend or something. I don't know. It wasn't really clear." She laughs and I join.
I lick my lips and pull on some underwear, pj pants and a tabletop that doesn't even cover my stomach fully. "Hey, um, Ali..." I drain out and sit beside her. "Have you thought of a name for the baby?"
"Um... No actually. Well... Rob and I kinda decided that whether it's a boy or girl we want to honour you and put Taylor as the middle name. You've became one of my best friends and you're doing so much for me... For us. It's only right. Were you thinking of something else? I would love input."
I take her hand in mine with tears glazing my eyes. "That is one of the sweetest things someone has ever done for me." I pause to lick my lips again and pull at the skin of my cheek inside. "And um... I was thinking, if they baby's a girl... Maybe the name Ellie? It's not gonna be set in stone or anything-"
"No!" She stops me, "I love it! I bet Rob will too! If the baby is a girl, we can name her Ellie. Ellie Taylor... It's got a ring to it... I love it!"
My lips form a shaky unsure smile, looking down at my belly while rubbing it. "Ellie..."