—chapter inspired by the song attached—
"I know you'll never love me but maybe you'll stay for awhile."
— Henry Rollins, Solipsist
"He's actually waiting for my answer right now." I admitted to Esme.
"What do you mean?"
"After bumping into Maxon, I went to get my stuff. Ron was gone but I saw Luke holding my bag. Luke was grinning when he saw me—" to be honest, his eyes weren't sparkling like they were earlier. Wait, did I just use the word 'sparkling' to describe someone's eyes? YA novels are getting in me. "—and he told me that it was okay if I didn't want to come. He was a wee bit hurt that I rejected his invitation, but he understands..."
"BUT YOU SAID HE'S WAITING FOR YOUR ANSWER RIGHT NOW!" Esme screamed from the other side of the line. From her tone, she was getting impatient.
"I'M GETTING THERE!" I shouted back, surpassing a laugh.
"You don't have to tell me the whole timeline of what happened. What is this? How To Get Away With Murder? Like," her voice was monotone this time, "ten hours earlier..."
"Just stop interrupting me!" I giggled.
"CONTINUE!"
"Okay!" I closed my eyes to remember what happened. "I got super uncomfortable because I think he was thinking that," I mimicked Luke's voice, lowering my pitch, "God! Gwen is such a butt. I can't believe after all the things we've been through, she still thinks we're not friends."
"Gwen..." Esme tried to cut me off but I continued by talking more quickly.
In my normal voice, I said, "his face was so damn disappointed. It pained me to see him like that. I wasn't thinking of rejecting his invite. I wanted to say," with a fierce, sharp voice, J stated, "SHUT UP, LUKE! I WOULD GO TO THIS DAM TRIP BECAUSE I DAM LIKE YOU AND YOU WILL DAM LIKE ME BACK AND DEAL WITH IT."
I heard Esme, in the other side of the phone snorting and trying to surpass a laugh.
Gods! If only I can laugh too.
"Okay, I guess that was too direct, and foolish, and probably never going to happen." I said, my eyes wandering around my room.
"I'm sorry for laughing." She apologized sincerely. "It's just... You admitted liking Luke."
"I DID NOT!" I protested like a child trying to tell the parents: I DID NOT BROKE THE VASE!
"Luke is... Well, Luke. I'd rather be in Tartarus than admitting—"
"Bullshit."
"Language!" I gasped.
"You need to admit it Gwen. Admit it out loud, not just in your head." Esme consulted.
"I'm not attracted to Luke!" I squealed.
"I'm not saying you're attracted to him—that's a total lie—ADMIT THAT YOU LIKE HIM!"
"I'm fond of Luke." I huffed.
"Look, I want you to be happy,"
Esme said. I was about to protest that I am happy but she cuts me off.
"Happy in a sense where you get it from someone real. Gwen, you read a lot of books already in your life and you're only seventeen.
In every book you've read, you know that the characters there, took a journey to be better. There's character development.
I am not saying that you're sick or anything— I mean, how can I say that to you when I share that interest of loving books with you.
But Gwen, when you're in college, you can't coop up surrounded by your books and ignore being social." I was holding my tongue to say, Watch me. "I know that it's hard for you to interact with someone, but this guy out there, he's interacting with you. And I think you haven't noticed that."
Bloody hell! Did Charlotte just possessed Esme? That's total Charlotte talking!
"Esme... Is something wrong in your school?" I asked worriedly. I frowned, waiting for her to answer.
"Wha-what? N-no! It's just you're missing a lot. Have I told you the time when I was visiting an old relative in the hospital and I saw this cute guy with a cast on his leg. I was like: this one can't run away..."
From the way she changed the topic, she doesn't want to discuss it.
I sighed.
Esme... Always the one who helps other people and not letting other people help her.
"Esme, you know that you can always talk to me, right?" I pushed.
"Yes." Her voice was sharp. "I know that, Gwen. If ever I need a talk, you'll be the first one I'll comply to. Anywaaaaay! We were talking about you and Luke..."
"Oh, well... Luke saw my reaction from what he said and he asked me if I haven't decided yet, and I answered him I haven't." I informed Esme, letting her win of not talking about her issue.
"You know how Rory Gilmore influenced my life?" I asked and she said yeah. "Well..."
Gods! I can't decide yet. I have to— my thoughts were interrupted.
"No way. You make pro-con lists!" Luke accused me.
I scowled at him, my worries completely wiped out. "How'd you know?"
"I took care of my homework." He proudly said to himself.
"And that homework is...?"
"Oh you know... Watching everything you mentioned the day we were stuck in school." He said like it was nothing.
This was not nothing. I cannot believe that... He couldn't have watched them all. I mentioned countless of tv shows.
"I just can't believe that you make pro and con lists..." He stated like it was not possible. He was grinning sheepishly.
"Do not mock my pro-con lists!" I quoted Rory Gilmore. I tried to surpass a smile but it slipped.
"How about this, we'll be leaving after tomorrow, so just ring me up if you have decided. Don't worry, you have..." He looked like he was mentally doing math. "You probably, have about thirty-six hours of time to decide." He said, like he was giving a solution.
"Sounds good?" He asked for clarification.
"That's so adorable!" Esme squealed.
"You're so naive Esme..." I said sadly.
"What, why?"
"It's just..." I closed my eyes and remembered what happened next.
"Why are you doing this, Luke?" I asked him. Not bothering to care that I was late for next period.
"What? Can't a guy invite his friend to a trip?" Luke shrugged.
"Not if you just met that friend a few weeks ago." I stated, making a point.
"Fine. You're like a little sister to me that I wish I ever had."
"He said that?!" Esme sounded like she was shrieking.
"Why are you so happy?" I asked confusedly. "Don't you see Esme? He doesn't see me the way I see him. Going to this trip is probably not a good idea."
"But it is!" She protested. "Don't you see Gwen?! 'I see you as a little sister' is code for 'I actually see you as a human being so I will feel guilty if I treat you the way I treat other girls. And that's because I really like you.' Goddamnit Gwen! Why didn't you see it that way?!"
I was speechless for a moment.
"Because that's crazy, Esme!"
Right?! THAT'S CRAZY.
"It's not, Gwen. You're just denying the fact that Luke actually likes you."
"I'm hanging up!" I said, wanting to die.
"Okay, then before you hang up, do me a favor and READ THE LIST YOU MADE THAT YOU LEARNED FROM READING YA NOVELS."
"Ugh!" I groaned.
"Love yah, Gwens!" She said and hung up.
No.
Nope.
Not possible!
Luke does NOT like me!
How is that even possible?!
Unconsciously, I went to my drawer and got my notebook to do what Esme asked.
Things I've learned because of reading YA novels:
1) The hero will still romantically pursue the heroine even if they have no common interests or they can't stand each other.
2) No matter how badass the heroine is, she needs to be saved by a hot dude—a.k.a the hot hero.
3) The best way to win the heroine's heart is for the hero to growl at any men who shows interest to her and be super possessive.
4) The heroes who lean on doors, or lockers, or walls apparently looks sexier than standing.
5) Hero's closest friend or brother must not share hero's good looks, but must share hero's love interest.
6) Everyone must be aware of the hero's good looks—get swooned and get commented off. Everyone but the heroine who doesn't care and is unaware of her beauty.
And the list goes on...
What did Esme wanted me to realize here? That I'm actually living a romance YA novel? From what I've read, there is no evidence or fact that Luke is a possible hero and I am a possible heroine.
This is not fiction. This is reality. Whatever fictional that I have read is not currently happening in my reality.
Now time to make a pro-con list about Luke's invite...
A/N: I KNOW! YAY! I UPDATED EARLY AND REALLY UPDATED THIS TIME!
Me right after I finished writing this chapter:
OH!! DID I GAVE YOU A MINI HEART ATTACK BECAUSE OF MY LAST UPDATE? I'm seriously laughing my ass out reading your comments.
I wanna say I'm sorry for putting that chapter name but I don't regret doing it so, can I just acknowledge that what I did was super wrong and evil?
Okay, enough of that. SO WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK OF THIS CHAPTER? DO YOU AGREE WITH ESME?
Btw, if you think that the story development is slow, I am really sorry for that. I'm doing my best in keeping this fast-paced but still realistic in a way.
You guys know the drill: VOTE! COMMENT! SHARE!
QUESTION: in which country are you from?
THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY! SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! I LOVE YOU GUYS! Lol.
❤️❤️M