Possible tw
Mild language and the mention of suicide.
Read with caution
Also, none of what I wrote here about fans is what I think is true. I wrote it in Tyler's fit of anger.
'You're just some sad boy who screams the pain away.'
The line kept replaying itself over and over again in my mind. And I couldn't stop thinking about how he's right.
Damn straight.
I didn't even bother to respond to him. Its useless trying to talk to him and its useless trying to get him to listen. There's no point.
No point in talking to me, or no point in something else?
"I don't even know." I mumbled, walking around the closed venue.
I pulled open the door and quietly walked outside, avoiding all eyes from passing people.
You've lost all hope again, haven't you?
I quietly groaned, and nodded a little. "Guess I have."
Then I've done my job.
"Since when is your job to make me lose hope and lose all sense of purpose?" I started, voice growing louder. "You're just a stupid voice! When did you become sentient? When did you get a mind of your own! And when did your main goal become making me suicidal!" I screamed, not caring about the people around me.
Told you you're just a sad boy who screams the pain away.
I reached up and started pulling on my hair, accidentally ripping a few strands out.
Nice going. How're you gonna cover up the bald spots that are gonna come if you keep pulling at your hair? Shave your head again? You looked like an egg.
"Maybe I will shave my head again! Not like there's anyone to stop me! You drove them all away!"
You're drawing a crowd.
"And I couldn't care less!"
Maybe you should. Your fans might be out there.
"And why would they care? They've never met me! Chances are they never will! They're just depressed teens who 'relate' to my music!" I over exaggerated the word relate.
"Tyler?" Someone asked, stepping out from the surrounding people.
"What?" I snapped.
"What's going on?"
"Oh, you know, the usual. Losing my mind, yelling at the voices in my head. Just another casual Monday!"
"Calm down," The girl started, slowly walking towards me with her hands out like I might attack her.
"Who are you even? Why do you care?" I asked, stepping back.
"It doesn't matter who I am or why I care. What matters is that you're okay. Come with me."
"No, screw off."
Her eyebrows furrowed and an exasperated sigh escaped her lips. "We went to school together. Cindy?"
That bitch who always made fun of you for talking to yourself in eighth and ninth grade.
"Oh, you. What do you want." It was more of a statement than a question.
"To make sure you're okay."
"I'm fine. Go away."
She sighed and stopped walking towards me and I stopped walking back.
"You still never answered why you care." I pointed out.
She sighed loudly. "Does it really matter, Tyler?"
"Well, yeah. You were always mean to me, so why would you care now? Cause I'm 'famous'?"
"No, of course not."
"Then why the sudden change of heart?"
"Seriously, it doesn't matter!"
I rolled my eyes and started walking away.
Wow, you handled that one great.
"Shut. Up." I stated through clenched teeth.
"Tyler," She called.
I spun around on my heel, eyes narrowing at her. "Stop trying. You're not my mother, so stop acting like it." I hissed and started walking away.
You have amazing people skills.
I shook my head, biting my tongue to stop myself from yelling at him again.
°°°°
Just as I felt my eyelids getting heavy, my phone started vibrating, what felt like, a million times.
I groaned, taking my phone out. Luckily, nobody was calling. Just Josh and Mark spamming me, asking where I was.
I told them both I was fine and just out thinking.
A few minutes after that was sent, Josh called me.
I wanted to ignore the call, but I knew he would just keep calling me until I answered, so I picked up.
"What, Josh? I told you I'm fine." I answered monotonously.
"We have to leave soon, so you should probably get back to the bus."
"I will soon, stop worrying about me."
"I'm not worrying about you. I'm trying to stay on schedule so we don't disappoint thousands of people tomorrow."
"I'll come back to the bus soon."
With that, I hung up and turned off my phone so Josh couldn't reach me.
Again, amazing people skills.
I bit my tongue again, knowing if I even tried speaking to him, it would just come out as a shout.
You can't ignore me forever.
"No, but I can try." I mumbled.
°°°°
I tried my best to sneak into the bus, thinking everyone would be asleep, but no. Josh and Mark stayed up waiting for me. Of course.
Cause god forbid they leave me to deal with my own problems.
I rolled my eyes and sighed, walking to the fridge. "Why'd you guys stay up? I can handle this stuff myself."
"Yeah, we know." Josh mumbled.
I could hear Mark slap Josh and Josh let out a soft "Ouch!"
A small laugh escaped my mouth, despite my attempts to hold it in, as I dug around In the fridge.
"Shut it Ty." Josh stated firmly.
"Nyu nyu nyu." I mimicked quietly.
"I swear to god," Josh mumbled, walking towards me.
I spun around quickly, ready to defend myself as he walked with an obvious intent of fighting me.
Before Josh could get too close, Mark grabbed his shoulder and gently pulled him back.
"Josh, quit." Mark scolded, sitting down with Josh.
I crossed my arms, leaning against the fridge as I eyed the both of them. "Why're you guys still up?"
Mark sighed. "Um.. Tyler, we kinda wanted to do an, um... An intervention."
"For what?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"You need to get help." Josh said angrily.
I opened my mouth to speak, but Josh cut me off before I could say anything.
"Medical help, Ty."
I closed my mouth, listening.
"Mark called in and made you a doctors appointment for tomorrow before the show."
"And you're going." Mark added.
My eyebrows furrowed and I nodded, knowing there was no sense in arguing with these two either.
They nodded too and walked towards the bunks.
I did the same a few minutes after.