I know i am late but....no reason would be good enough to justify your wait...Sorry for the delay (do read the note at the end)..!!
...Without any further ado..here you go with the update...Thank you for the wonderful response earlier and hop this long update of 5000 words matches your expectations too...
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The past was out there in open. Everyone had their heads hung low just the way they had five years back. They had visited probably the most traumatic memories of their lives and recalling it, ensued absolute silence in the hall for a long time, the silence that was frightening, the silence that was agonizing, the silence that was broken by the sound of steps. Manik got alerted since he could sense the steps approaching him. He looked up to find Abhi coming towards him. Abhi and Manik stood face to face, before Manik could realize what's coming his way he felt immense pain near lips and found his upper body bending as a reflex.
Nandini – Abhi are you crazy...why did you punch him..??
Abhi looked directly into Manik's eyes
Abhi – No one...I mean No one has the right to slap my sister...!!
Saying this, he started moving towards the door
Nandini – Have you gone nuts Abhi....??... Where are you going...??
Abhi – Home..!!
Nandini held his hand forcing him to stop. Abhi turned and his eyes met Mukti's. He kept the gaze with Mukti intact for a few seconds before turning his head towards Nandini
Abhi – I am going home...Don't worry I will be fine... I need to some time to absorb whatever I just heard... (and then he looked back at Mukti)... Somethings are too important in my life and I don't wish to take any decision impulsively or in haste...
Nandini – But Abhi..!!
Abhi – All these years we gave you your time Nandini.... Whenever you wished for it and for whatever duration you needed it.... Today I need my space... and don't worry I won't be lost for years rather just a few hours... You take care...!!
Abhi kissed Nandini's forehead and moved out but turned around just before reaching the door. He took steps towards Mukti and cupped her face. Mukti closed her eyes in anticipation as Abhi brought her face closer to his but instead of dropping a kiss as per Mukti's thoughts, he joined their foreheads together and stayed in that state for a few minutes before moving out. Mukti left for her room while Cabir, Navya, Dhruv and Alia too left leaving Manik and Nandini alone in the hall.
Nandini moved to the kitchen and came back with an ice pack. She gave it Manik while Manik looked at her confusingly. She silently placed it at the corner of his bleeding lips and gestured Manik to hold it. The tensed atmosphere that the troubled past brought along was becoming too heavy for both of them to handle. They were at crossroads. They wanted to talk and stay mum at the same time. The contradicting emotions were taking a toll on their sensibility and before things could turn worse, Nandini moved out of Mukti's house and headed towards Dadi's place. Manik sat in the hall, alone with an ice pack in his hand and tears rolling down on his cheeks. A few moments later after Nandini's leaving, he too left for his home.
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Meanwhile, when Nandini reached Dadi's place, she found her going through some stuff kept in an old suitcase.
Nandini – Dadi...yeh aap kya kar rahe ho...??
Dadi – Aray tu aa gyi...kuch nahi beta...was just rearranging a few certificates...Kuch documents renew karane the toh unke liye jo necessary documents hain woh ek file mein laga rahi thi..!!
Nandini – Main help karun..!!
Dadi – Neki or pooch pooch..Aaja baith yahan pe (Dadi move a little to make space for Nandini)...ye khali file le..I'll give the documents or tu isme laga dena..!!
Nandini – Ok Dadi..!!
Dadi started handing over the documents to Nandini.
Nandini – Dadi....this is awesome..mere ko nahi pata tha ki you are a postgraduate in English..!!
Dadi – Aray post graduation certificate dekh kar itni hairan toh...toh isse dekh kar tera kya haal hoga (Dadi Handed over a certificate to her)
Nandini – Wait a minute..PhD in English...Dadi this awesome...How come aapne kabhi bataya nahi..??
Dadi – Kabhi mauka hi mila...in fact when I married Manik's Dadaji, I was just a graduate...it was he who encourage me to study and fulfill my dreams...He always believed that it doesnot matter whether you are a man or woman, you should always be capable of standing up yourself in the hour of need...In fact I used to teach too in a college but had to leave it because of my health issues...!!
Nandini – Wow Dadi...I wish I had met Dadaji too...he sounds so cool..!!
Dadi – Oh he was, the coolest person I know...(Dadi got hold of Manik's old picture) and you know what Manik he was his Carbon copy...in terms of the fun, the flamboyance, the sensibility and everything else, Manik was just like him..!!
Dadi took a pause for a moment and spoke again
Dadi – He was just like him until one day he decided to allow his evil side of him take over his senses and since then, he had never been the same...and today even if he wishes too, I doubt if he could ever be the same old Manik since the destruction that the evil had caused is almost impossible to repair...(Dadi looked at Nandini)...I am sorry Nandini...I apologize on his behalf..I know he shouldn't have done the things that he did and I am still mad him for doing that...I am sorry for the way he behaved in the past...!!
Nandini – Dadi...Manik has done a lot of mistakes in the past but don't you think he is paying or had paid enough for it..!!
Dadi looked at her surprised
Dadi – What do you mean..??
Nandini – Dadi..he has become a broken a soul...A soul in search of his doctor...It hurts to see him like this but I can't do anything else...I am too broken myself and if I try I would end up breaking him further...But Dadi, tell me something whatever wrong he did, he did that to me right...(Dadi nodded)...I am not with him, that is understood why is it that Everytime everyone else decides to be judge and announce the verdict to leave him alone..!!
Dadi – Nandini...has something happened..??
Nandini – Abhi got to know the truth of our past...every important detail..and you know Dadi what he did...He got up and punched Manik...everyone else just looked at him... Fair enough we had just recalled the past and everyone was drowned in their pool of thoughts and Abhi owing to his brotherly instincts just walked out...fine I would again give that to him too... But then... Manik was bleeding and no one came up to him rather they left him alone...Why Dadi...??
Dadi – But he deserved it Nandini...for all that he did to you...??
Nandini – till when Dadi....till when will we continue to pay for sins we did in the past...Is there an end to it..like Ok this is done...now no more...!!...
Dadi – It is not easy Nandini...and about no one supporting Manik, the thing is that things have changed... Fab5 is not the same anymore... Yes they perform together, yes they are still friends but something has changed... Earlier it was all about the group but now it more about the individuals
Nandini – That is fair Dadi... I am not saying that thinking about oneself is a crime and honestly if we look at it..it is important to think about oneself because if don't, we would regret it later but in the quest of thinking about yourself is it okay to leave people behind...!!
Dadi – No one left him behind Nandini...it was Manik's choice...he decided to confine himself..It is not like we have turned a blind eye towards Manik...Yes I am angry with him...
Nandini – and you have the right Dadi..you have every right to be mad at him for all that he did...But that is not my point...my point is why are we stuck in the past...why Dadi...why is it that every now and then, Manik has to pay for sins he committed in the past...I am nowhere saying that he is not guilty...But Dadi Looking at the past is like rolling in a rocking chair. One can roll back and forth on the porch, but never go forward...
By now, Nandini had tears in her eyes. Dadi kept the suitcase aside, sat next Nandini and placed Nandini's head on her lap. As soon as Nandini found warmth in the Dadi's motherly embrace, Nandini sobs turned uncontrollable.
Nandini – Why Dadi why....why is it that troubles always find their way to us...Why out of all the people in the world, Mukti found her true love in Abhi...who is my brother...!!..Why isn't our past beautiful Dadi...why does it keep haunting always...Can we ever move on...Why is our unpleasant past connected to our present ruining our future...!!
Dadi – Calm down my little one...everything will be fine...!!
Nandini – Dadi I donot want my past with Manik ruin Abhi's future with Mukti... Abhi left just like that without saying a word... I am scared...heartbreaks are terrible Dadi...I donot wish either Abhi or Mukti to go through it...!!
Dadi – Nandini...Abhi is a sorted individual..nothing of that sort will happen..!!
Nandini – I hope Dadi..I hope...I won't be able to forgive myself if that happens..!!
Dadi – And about Manik...Listen your friends are too attached with you..I am not saying that they didn't hurt you or took you for granted but when you left, they were not strong enough to blame themselves for it...so..
Nandini – So they found a scapegoat in Manik...and so now everyone has someone's embrace whenever they are hurt...everyone except Manik and the irony is that even after paying the biggest prize, his sufferings have no end..!!
Dadi was speechless. Nandini's words got her thinking. Nandini too realized that Dadi needed sometime for herself and so she got up.
Nandini – Dadi...I am sorry if I had hurt you with my words...but I needed to let out what I felt...!!
Dadi – Shut up...Why would I feel hurt...Did you say anything wrong....On a contrary I am glad that you spoke what you felt..
Nandini – Thanks Dadi..you know it is after ages that I have found a comfort soothing and secure enough to voice out my opinion...just like Amms...!!
Dadi – Toh Main Amms se alag hoon kya...haan..??
Nandini – Nahi aap bilkul unke jaise ho...unse better toh nahi shayad but unki carbon copy...!!...Thank you Dadi aapse baat karke, main apna decision aur ache se le paayi..!!
Dadi – Kaisa decision..??
Nandini – Aapko pata chal jayega kuch dino mein..Chalo ab good night..!!
Dadi – Good night bachcha...!!
Dadi kissed her forehead and Nandini moved to her room. On the way back, she knew she had made a decision. But then, the most difficult step of the decision taken by her was the first one. Just the mere thought of the first step, brought shivers in her body. She was scared but she knew she had to do it. There was no looking back now. No matter how hurt or pained the consequences would be, she has to do it. Dressed up with determination, her mask did fell off, surfacing the agony of the years passed by, tears trickled down, she was in her room but the pillow was so wet that it looked like it was soaked in rain.
It was around 4 in the morning, Dadi's sleep broke. She got up to fetch a glass of water. On the way back from kitchen, she thought of checking on Nandini but to her dismay, she wasn't around. She checked the bathroom and every other place in the house but Nandini was nowhere to be seen. Dadi panicked and called up Mukti. A half sleepy Mukti answered her call.
Mukti – Dadi Is it morning already..??
Dadi – Mukti is Nandu with you..??
Mukti – With me..she was with you na Dadi...Nandu didn't sleep walk to my room..!!
Dadi – Mukti Nandini is not in the house..are you listening to me...(Dadi's voice got a little louder)... It is 4 a.m ...and Nandini is nowhere to be found..!!
Mukti – What...!!
Dadi – Yes...message your friends ask them if they know about her whereabouts....message Abhi too...and come upstairs..!!
Mukti – Dadi relax... I am messaging everyone... I coming up too...!!
Soon everyone was at Dadi's place.
Abhi – Damn...why is she not picking up her call..??
Cabir – I tried messaging her too but no reply...??...Where is she..??
Dadi – I shouldn't have left her alone... She was already upset....I should have stayed with her for the night..!!
Mukti – Dadi relax it is not your fault...let Nandini come...we will talk to her..!!
Dadi – Manik..where is Manik...Mukti you didn't call him..??
Mukti – Dadi..we all know Nandini won't go to Manik's place...so..!!
Dadi- Stop with your assumptions Mukti Malhotra...I agree Nandini wouldn't go to Manik's place...but then I asked you to message all your friends...Why didn't you message Manik..??
Mukti just lowered her head and chose to remain quite. Dadi picked up her phone and called Manik. The panic in Dadi's voice alarmed Manik and her next words swept the ground off from his feet. He rushed to Dadi's place and covered almost 30 min of walk distance in just 10 minutes. He entered the gate panting and everyone could guess he would have run as if his life was dependent on it.
Manik – Dadi...Where is Nandini...??
Dadi just came and hugged him tight.
Manik – Dadi...you are scaring me right now...where is she..??
Dadi – Manik, Nandini...sleeping..woke up..not..!!
Manik – Dadi what are you saying...please explain..I am not getting a word..!!
Dadi – Manik..I came...Nandini not..!!
Manik – Dadi relax...Have water first now tell me...!!
Manik handed her a glass of water and made her sit on the dining chair
Dadi – ...I woke up and thought of checking on Nandini...She was not in her room..I checked everywhere..she is nowhere Manik..!!
Manik – Did you try calling her..??
Mukti – We all did...but she isn't answering anyone's calls..!!
Manik nodded his head in understanding. He looked around just then a piece of paper caught his attention. He grabbed it and started reading it out loud
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"Dadi, please don't panic if you donot find me in the room. I thought of waking you up before leaving but you were in such a sound slumber that I dropped the idea. I needed some fresh air, I know it sounds crazy who needs a fresh air at 3 in the night but I did, so I am going out for a while. Don't worry I am not going too far, not this time. I'll be around only. The room was suffocating me so just wanted let my thoughts flow under under stars shining in the blue sky..
~~~Nandini"
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After finishing the note, Manik moved to Nandini's room. He found a jacket on the bed side. He picked it up and moved out
Manik – I know where she is...you guys sleep...I'll go and get her..!!
Abhi held Manik's hand stopping him from leaving. Manik looked at him helplessly
Abhi – Message me once you find her and dare you hurt her...!!
Manik – Okay
Abhi left his hand and Manik rushed out. He knew exactly where Nandini would be at this hour. As soon as he reached the place, he found her sitting at the top of the water tank. Manik picked out his phone and message Abhi
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Manik – Found her..
Abhi- Where
Manik – On the terrace of the building
Abhi – Good now talk to her...you both need it
******
Abhi's last message left Manik baffled. Infact, any one would be surprised. A few hours ago, Abhi had punched him hard, the wound was still very fresh and then he warned her not hurt Nandini and now he is asking him or rather ordering him to talk to her, quite contradicting...isn't it..??
Nonethless Manik, moved towards her, place the jacked on her shoulders and settled down beside her
Manik – Found you..!!
Nandini – I knew you would..!!...that is why I left that note...!!
Manik – Okay..so what are you doing here...??
Nandini – Thinking...!!
Manik – Mind me asking what...??
Nandini – You remember Mussoorie Manik...!!
Manik – Of course...!!
Nandini – Ever wondered why I forgave you just after talk...??
Manik – Everyday...but then I thought since it has been so many years...may be that is why you decided to forgive me.
Nandini – No...you are wrong...I forgave you because for the first time in these 5 years, I felt like my one act of forgiveness could impact your life...smaller or bigger way it is for you to decide...but just the fact I could influence or I have a say or I make a difference to your life made me important in my own eyes...It made me stronger enough to forgive you or anyone for that matter..!!
Manik – Nandini, you have always been an important part of my life..i guess you know it right..!!
Nandini – Sometimes it is good to show it Manik..!!...
Manik – Let it out Nandini...!!
Nandini – There is nothing to let out Manik..!!
Manik – You and I both know that is not true Nandini...there is a lot to let out...You didn't speak five years back and you are not speaking even now... How long do you plan to keep the pain inside you Nandini..??
Nandini – There is no pain Manik..!! and why Manik..Why do you want me to let out...Oh wait...do you want me let you go just like you did five years ago...but Manik I am not holding you so how can I let you go...I am not expecting you or anyone to stay..I am done with expectations long back..No expectations no pain..!!
Saying this she tried to get up but Manik held her hand
Manik – Right no pain..your eyes are swollen without pain...you nostril is red and you are sniffing without any reason..that pillow in your room was wet may be because you must have thrown water over it by mistake..right...Stop faking and hiding your emotions Nandini... You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed... You can bandage the bleeding with food, with pills, with work, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life.... You need to find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.... I did that it Mussoorie and you allowed me to do it, now it is your turn Nandini..!!
Nandini – Where were you Manik...where were you all these years...you want me to let it all out...you want me to speak...you are glad that you found me here...But Why did you took five years Manik...five long years to find me...was the search so tiring...Oh wait...you didn't search at all...Sorry..!!..Nonetheless you want me to speak na Manik...so let's talk...
Nandini – So I won't complain why you were not there when Soha or Harshad thing happened because we are way past that phase...it is done and over with...you were insecure, I get it..i went through all of it...there is no point of repeating it again and again...Let's talk beyond that...that day when I ask you to let me go..why did you gave up me so easily Manik..
Manik – Since you asked me too Nandini...I didn't wish to let you go..you asked me to let you go..!!
Nandini – And you agreed with me so easily..haina Manik...I asked you not believe what other people say but you did...I asked you not to leave me but you did...everytime I asked you to do something, you did the opposite...but when I asked you to let me go...you complied...Wow...just Wow...!!
Nandini – You know Manik...for one to feel his or her existence, the feeling of being needed is very important...You were important to me and I made that clear a zillion times but I never felt important enough in your life Manik..I always felt it doesn't matter whether or not I am around...all you said was "Let me go Nandini"and we were over..just like that... I ceased to exist without you Manik...I donot expect you to do that but then I too am human Manik..I too need to feel important...You know why I forgave everyone else because they made an effort Manik...Wait I'll show you something (she opened her facebook messenger)...It wasn't like I started replying to all of their messages..I still don't...the first message I replied to was that of Cabir, six month after the fallout...followed by everyone else...last one being Navya, whose message I replied after a year...but my delay did not deter them from messaging me..every message they sent didn't necessarily had a sorry but it had a hope keeping me alive in their lives...they kept informing me about random things...about their lives, their jobs...they could have but they never gave up on me...On a contrary you did Manik..
Nandini - Manik I do not expect you to react the way they did... Maybe it was their way of involving me their lives...yours could have been different since our relationship was different but I didn't knew it would be so different that there won't be any way at all... you asked me why I wasn't around when uncle aunty passed away...let me ask you something Manik...If things were getting so difficult for you...if all you searched around for was my embrace...why didn't you come up to me...It wasn't like you couldn't find me I just a few miles away in a different city which you were aware of... You could have just showed up at my place and hugged it all out...At most I would have denied you but eventually I would have given into your gestures... But Manik there weren't any gestures to give into...there wasn't any effort..I asked you to let me go...I didn't ask you to give up on me...I expected you to fight for me just like you expected me to fight for you...But you failed me Manik...Why were you so aloof Manik..??...Why didn't you fight back...??
Manik – Nandini...!!
Nandini – You know people mostly you and Abhi accuse me of being aloof or detached but did either of you ever tried to bridge that gap...the answer would be a big fat NO....!! I know both you feel why I didn't tell you about Madhyam before, but that is because no one ever asked..you never contacted me..and Abhi he would ask me if I am fine and when I would say yes I am, he would end the conversation then and there...didn't he know me well enough to know that I am not someone who would share her pain at the first insistence..he was upset when I had few second conversation with him on his birthday but did he call me back...no right..!!.. the instances must have made him sad but not sad enough to rectify them... but this time was different, this time he was adamant enough to know my past... Where was this stubbornness all these years...that day you were adamant enough to allow me to drive again...today you were stubborn enough to know what was going on my head...I was trying to walk out even today but you held my hand...Where was this stubbornness all these years Manik...tell me where was it..??... After 5 years, you did find me Manik but Alas you found me when I was lost and insecure...
Nandini – Look Manik...the sun is rising...it is dawn now...you remember years later...it was under the rising sun...I told you I love you...today...at this hour of dawn, there is something else that I wish to tell you...when someone you love and care about tells you that he or she is fine when you clearly know that they aren't ask again...because all your loved one would be looking for at that moment would be an assurance, a need, a want, a feeling of being important, a feeling where the pain and hurt in their hearts matter....Remember Manik...WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY ARE OKAY AND YOU KNOW THEY AREN'T , ASK AGAIN..!!
Nandini got up to leave. Years ago, the dawn brought with it the happiest memories, years later the dawn brought with it many questions whose anwers no one had. Nandini reached the stairs to climb down and found Abhi standing there. She knew Abhi must have heard their conversation, though she didn't know the extent of the conversation he knew but she hardly cared. She silently stepped down while Abhi moved to settle beside Manik. He held Manik's chin and turned his face towards him.
Abhi – Does it hurt..(pointing the punch wound)
Manik nodded
Abhi – Good it should...!!... Don't you dare do that ever again..!!
Manik smiled a bit.
Abhi – Quite a feisty conversation, rather once sided conversation you just had..(Manik looked at him surprised)..Yes I heard it...actually only a part of it right from the point when I was supposed to hear, right when I too was the part of it I suppose.. Nonetheless I realize the mistake I committed or rather we committed... We thought she needed her space but in reality all she wanted was someone to invade in that space... But we can rectify our mistakes Manik and that is the only good part.. Nandini is broken.. She has changed.. I know that somewhere the old Nandini is a dream we cannot attain
Manik – And we should not seek for it too Abhi...seeking for old Nandini would mean letting go of all the lessons that life has taught her...the lessons that have made her the strong and courageous woman she is today...we shouldn't look for old Nandini rather let the new Nandini, let go the negatives replacing it with the positives of the old one to bring out a completely different side of her...
Abhi – True that... she needs to be out-spoken rather than hiding herself...for all the positives to come in she has to start trusting people around her.. and only you could help me in doing that... You know Manik as much as I hate you for hurting my sister, I couldn't help but notice that you are the only one who could heal her... I know you might find this weird but Nandini is not strong enough to build new trusts and at this juncture mending the broken trust is the only ray of light... sometimes the words or actions of the person who has hurt you the most contain the healing antidote to nullify the venom...for instance, Nandini stopped driving taking all of us by surprise, today I know the reason behind it...but then years later you said a few words that I am completely unaware of and she drove again...!!
Manik – You are right Abhi..let us heal her together..!!
Abhi – It is going to be difficult but let's do it..!!
Soon Manik and Abhi joined everyone at Dadi's place.
Cabir – Abhi we all would want to apologise for our actions in the past..!!
Abhi – Whatever had happened, we can't change it....Yes I was shocked and hurt last night when I left but when I went home and thought about it, I realized it would be the biggest idiot on earth to let the past ruin something so beautiful....you were young kids, may too young to understand what ever was going around and even if you tried, the pace of events was making it impossible...Somethings are inevitable Cabir..but you know what's the good part it...you guys...each and every one of you learnt from your mistakes...You know Bade Papa, I mean Nandini's father used to say, "Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you." And you all have learnt the lessons by opening the book of life, by developing compassion, learning to listen, seeking to understand instead of speculating. No one is perfect, not you not me, we all evolve by practicing empathy and developing conflict resolution through communication. So relax..it is okay..!!
Alya – That means the wedding..
Abhi – ...Is still on...!!... And you still have a lot to shop for Alya..!!
Everyone laughed while Mukti got up and hugged Abhi with all her might. Abhi too took her in her protective embrace. Dadi came in with tea and handed it to everyone. She settled beside Manik taking him by surprise because in the past few years, this was for the first time she was next to him without any reason. A tear made his way down which did not go unnoticed by Dadi as she wiped it off. While everyone was busy in their own world, the current happenings did not go unnoticed by Nandini.
Nandini (in her thoughts) – I know Manik, today my words must have broken you...but I had to do this...because waiting now would have hindered me doing something I have to but wouldn't be able to keeping the grudges in my heart...hence I let it all out...I know the questions and words must have broken you but from now on I would be mending all the broken pieces...the figure will not be perfect but I'll try to make it as beautiful as I can...I don't know where this will take us but I will Heal you and that's a promise...!!
Meanwhile Manik was making himself familiar with Dadi's closeness. He tilted his head and kept it over Dadi's shoulder. His looked at Nandini lost in her thoughts sipping her tea.
Manik – Nandini I did not have answers to your questions today and maybe I'll never have...but I promise you I won't let those questions trouble you ever again... this would be the last time since from now on I would never give an opportunity to any such question to crop up and mess with your mind ...All these years you were lost or rather we let you remain lost...but now together we shall open all those doors that you have closed for yourself....I donot know what future has in store for both us but I will ensure that you'll find a better version of yourself and that's a promise...!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------End of Chapter 21-----
Manik and Nandini are on a mission to find and heal the other one, will they come closer to each other in the process...Stay tune to find out
Important note – Readers, the next update shall come up on the new years. There is a lot going on at the personal front currently that I cannot promise an early update. I am apologizing well in advance. I know you all love this story and the update gap is huge but I am badly stuck. I know not updating the story for almost 14 days will be a huge blow to the ranking as well but honestly I can't help it at this point. I have kept my other story on hold too...Sorry for this break but I promise I'll be back with a big update on new years.
Merry Christmas in Advance..Stay Blessed..!!
Thank You everyone for the support..!!
That's it from me for today...See you guys..Cheers..!!