I looked around the room, chewing the first bite of my sandwich as slowly as possible. Fifteen chews and then I swallowed. Chloe put a bottle of diet soda in front of me and then sat down, digging into her sandwich. We just got to the hotel ten minutes ago and decided to eat before we did anything else.
Chloe turned on the movie, sitting back and drinking some of her diet soda. I took another bite and chewed slower, looking at the front door and making sure it was locked. We were at least an hour and a half away from home and Jackson was surely panicking by now.
Chloe turned off her phone as soon as we left the house, but I put mine on vibrate, just in case Jackson called me. We ate our sandwiches in silence and watched the movie she picked out, lost in our own worlds. Clearly she was missing Jackson, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.
“When did he start?” Chloe asked suddenly, staring blankly at the movie playing.
I looked at my legs, noticing how disgustingly big my thighs were. “I was either four or five; I can’t really remember.”
She laughed mockingly and I flinched. “It’s actually kind of funny. How it all makes sense now. So obvious that I should have figured it out.”
“No, Chloe, don’t.” I begged. “I really didn’t want anyone to know. I mean, it took nine years for Jackson and Beck to figure it out and they lived with me.”
“How could they not know? Especially if they lived with you. Maybe they did pretend not to know like you said.”
I shook my head and tucked some hair behind my ear. “No, I was just angry. I didn’t mean anything I said.”
She sighed and stood up, taking the trash into the kitchen. “I’m going to shower. Don’t open the door if someone knocks. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jackson already sent someone after us.”
She left the room and I went over to my bag to get my medicine. I pulled out my pill box and swallowed all the pills with some diet soda. Shoving the box back into my bag, I sighed when my phone started to vibrate on the coffee table. I wasn’t sure if Chloe wanted me to talk to him or not, especially since Jackson would probably go all out and trace my phone, but I felt guilty ignoring him.
“Hey, Jackson.” I greeted, flipping open my phone. I didn’t want him to think I was mad at him, especially since Chloe made it seem like I was.
“Hey, sweetie. Are you okay?” Jackson asked immediately, no sounds coming from the background, which hopefully meant no more fighting.
“Yup, I’m fine.”
“How about Chloe? Where is she?”
“She’s fine. She’s in the shower.”
He sighed and I could see him running his fingers through his hair over and over again. “God, I’m so stupid. Zander shouldn’t have been talking shit about you and I should been the one to take care of it.”
“It’s not your fault, Jacks.” I explained, pulling out my sketchpad. “Not everyone sees it the same way as me. Besides, he’s a guy. He doesn’t understand what it’s like.”
“Hey, what did I say? It happens to guys, too.” I rolled my eyes, but decided not to reply. “And don’t worry. I already beat the living shit out of him. He shouldn’t be awake for a while.”
“Jackson-”
“Why won’t Chloe answer my calls? Or my texts?”
“She turned her phone off. She’s really upset about Zander and how you made me move in with all those guys a month after Dad… died.”
Jackson groaned and hit something. “I know, sweetie. I really f*cked up this time. With Chloe, too. I can’t believe I let him hit her.”
“I thought it was an accident.”
“Accident or not, it shouldn’t have happened.” He growled. “Where are you guys?”
I winced and looked over my shoulder, but the bathroom door was still closed. “I’m sorry, Jacks.”
“I’ll leave you guys alone, I just want to know that you’re safe.”
I closed my eyes and sighed, “We are safe, Jacks. I have to go and take my medicine. I’ll talk to you soon, I promise. I love you.”
I hung up as he started telling me to wait and listen to him for a minute, regretting it instantly. I hated lying to Jackson and cutting him off like that, but Chloe’s right. We do need a break; from Jackson, too.
Chloe didn’t come back out of the room and I figured she went right to sleep, so I turned off the TV and went to my room. The bed was extremely comfortable and the blanket was extra soft, so much more relaxing than my one at home. I should have been able to fall asleep faster with the soft bed, but my thoughts kept me awake.
I kept thinking about Blake and how he would react next time he saw me. He’s going to be absolutely repulsed with me. Damaged goods, as guys call it. Who would want to be with me, knowing my father was the first to take claim? I wouldn’t want to be with me either.
Every nerve of hatred he had inside of him towards me doubled and lowered my chances of ever claiming him as mine. I love him and even though he’s my mate, I know I’ll never be able to call him mine. Technically he is since we should be mated for life, but I don’t blame him for not wanting to.
Chloe came in to my room an hour later while I was still thinking about Blake, looking sad and lost. She climbed in to my bed without a word and stared at the ceiling, probably thinking about Jackson.
“I feel guilty now.” She admitted, turning to face me. “I shouldn’t have left. He probably can’t sleep and won’t stop worrying about us. I’m so stupid. To make him feel guilty and then take away his mate and his child, I can’t imagine-“
“His child?” I questioned, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. She started crying half way through her little speech and sat up, wiping her face. “You’re pregnant?”
She grinned, all sadness suddenly gone. “Yup!”
“Oh my God, congrats, Chloe.”
“Thanks.” She beamed, crossing her legs. I now noticed her tummy looked a little bigger, like she’s gained a few pounds and felt guilty.
“I can’t believe I didn’t notice.” I whispered, staring at her stomach. It must be weird to have a baby growing inside of you and knowing that it’s life is completely in your hands. “It doesn’t look like a baby bump.”
“Yeah I know. I look fat.” She frowned, but clearly she loved having Jackson’s child in there. “I think Jackson’s noticed I’ve gained weight, but hasn’t said anything. He’s been too stressed to put the pieces together.”
“He doesn’t know?”
She frowned again and tears filled her eyes. “No. I wanted to make it a nice surprise instead of just announcing it. Like Thursday; date night. But this happened and…” she trailed off, playing with blanket.
“He’s going to be so happy.” I whispered, imagining Chloe telling him. He’ll probably cry; he’s always wanted a daughter so bad. “How far along?”
“Little more than a month, maybe? I was going to tell you before him, but there’s so much going on.” Chloe sighed, rubbing her stomach lovingly. I would do anything to be able to carry Blake’s child.
“Boy or girl?”
“Don’t know yet. Not for another month, I think. But it’s a girl, I know it is.”
I smiled softly and swallowed a sob. It must be nice to go through pregnancy, give birth and raise a child with a loving mate at your side. I’ll never know what it’s like to be a mother or have my own family, but I’ll get to watch Blake make his own family and I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or not.
“You should sleep. You must be exhausted.” I stated softly, watching her lay down and pull the covers up to her chin.
“Night.” She mumbled.
“Night.” I replied, but didn’t move to lie down. I really need to figure out what I’m going to do with my life. I could leave in the morning before Chloe wakes up, no one will know where I went. No one will have to be forced to take care of me and Blake will finally have me out of his sight.
I sighed sadly and lay down, putting my back to Chloe. Jackson would have a heart attack if I suddenly disappeared and he was stuck with Beck as his only blood family left. Of course, he would probably find me, but I could try.
I couldn’t do that to Jackson. Or Beck; if he cared that is. No else would notice I was gone. But Jackson’s my rock and as much as I hate it, I have to have him in my life.
Just as I closed my eyes a loud bang shot both Chloe and I up, staring at the bedroom door in shock. I listened as a pair of boots slowly stepped into the apartment.