"To love somebody isn't just a strong feeling.
It's a decision,
a judgement and a promise."
————————
"Argh. . ." I groaned in pain, and completely awaken all my senses as soon as my back hit the ground when I fell down from the couch. I slept on the couch last night, and my back hurts so much. I rubbed my back, standing up as I went to the kitchen. Taehyung would probably wake up by now, and it wouldn't be nice if I didn't prepare breakfast. I decided to cook chicken porridge since Taehyung only has a limited food supply in his fridge.
I started cooking, and barely make any noise so I wouldn't wake him up. I've watched my mom cooked chicken porridge several times when I was a kid. She did that to help my dad sober up from drinking. It was my first time cooking, so I hope it would turn out good.
After twenty minutes, the porridge was all done, and I only did minimal errors. The savory aroma of the food could be smell from the atmosphere. Then suddenly, I heard him inside his room, "Solji?" He called. I heard his footsteps inside, and twisted his knob open, still calling for her name. "Solji?" Taehyung's bedroom door creaked open and he stood there for a few seconds. His bed hair was like it was hit by strong hurricane, and his eyes were so small, but still, he's perfect. "Sol—Oh! Areum!" I felt the difference in the tone of his voice when he called me and her name.
"Good morning," I tried to smile brightly, "Are you disappointed to see me?" I asked him as I poured the chicken porridge in his bowl. Taehyung sat by the kitchen counter and I handed him his bowl of soup.
He looked at the porridge, then to me. "Of course not." He smiled, "I'm just used to having her here whenever I got drunk. But seriously, I'm really happy you're here." I wasn't convinced, but I smiled. I sat across him and handed him a glass of milk and a spoon. I also brought my own bowl of porridge, so we could eat together. "I didn't know you can cook." There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Taehyung, and so am I to you.
"I've watched my mom done it a million times for my dad when he was drunk, so I memorized her cooking style since I was a kid." I said, and Taehyung listened as he took a spoonful of porridge in his mouth after blowing it.
"Your dad must be so lucky to have her."
"They're divorced now, but yeah, he was lucky." Taehyung didn't lift his head up to look at me or ask any further questions. He probably thought I would ask him personal questions if he continued. There were minutes of silence before I break the ice. "Solji and Hoseok helped me to take you home actually. You were so drunk last night. You puked on my dress and your smell was literally all over Hoseok's shirt."
"Ah," He laughed uneasily. "That's why you're wearing my shirt. Sorry." He smiled, then paused as he recalled something. "Oh, right! Your mom! She told us you should come—"
"Don't worry, I called her last night before I sleep and I told you were drunk and alone, so I had to take care of you and she was fine with it." I told him.
He sighed in relief. "God, I thought we're in big trouble though." He said, "I feel embarrassed right now. Your mom might think I'm such a worthless boyfriend."
I shook my head, "Don't think that way. Mom never thinks like that. She really likes you, you know?"
"But still I feel bad."
"Don't be. . ." I comforted him. He looked away, and I stared at him more. There's this deafening silence again that was killing me from the inside. I hate it when we both turned quiet all of a sudden, "Uhm, Taehyung." I called.
"Hm?" He said, still eating his porridge.
"Are you all by yourself here?" I asked, and I didnt know if it was too personal or not.
It took Taehyung seconds to respond, but he did. "Yeah, I live here alone. Dad wants me to be independent though." He said, glancing at me then back to his porridge.
I nodded my head, "Well, is there a chance I can meet him?" I paused, waiting for his reaction. "I mean, you met my mom and it has been weeks since we got together, so I was only wondering maybe I can—"
"We can see him next week." He said in a straightforward manner. "Do you like that?"
"Really?" I was too happy that I smiled like a little child given a cake in a children's party.
"Yeah. Of course. He'll definitely like you." He said.
I couldn't help, but smiled. I'm going to meet his dad. Maybe, it would really feel like we're really a thing if I'd meet his dad soon. I think. Then, I glanced at his phone which is placed in the corner left of the counter. "I still don't have your phone number though." I blurted out, staring at his phone this time.
"Really?" He took his phone and handed it over to me, "Type down your phone number." He said with his mouth full.
I nervously took his phone from him. Nervous that I might get jealous again to see Solji's face as his phone wallpaper. I mentally prepared myself, and I pressed the home button. The screen lit up, and my lips parted as soon as I saw his wallpaper.
"You like it?" He asked, and it felt surreal to see me as his phone wallpaper. It was just taken last night because I noticed my floral dress. It was a stolen shot of me smiling under the bright lights from the pub in my background. "I took it last night. You were eye-catching." He complimented casually.
"Thanks." I said shyly, before I could be even type down and save my number in his phone. Taehyung took his phone from me when I finished typing, and smiled as he used it. He typed something for a quick split second, and showed the screen to me.
Areumdawo 💖
I tried not to feel embarrass about what name he used to save my phone number. "I think you really suit your name." He smiled, shifting his attention from the phone to me, "Anyway, I should also save my number in your phone, right?"
And I nodded my head. I stood and went to the living room to get my phone from my purse which was on top of the coffee table then came back to the kitchen. I dragged my seat next to him, and sat as he fiddled with my phone when I handed it to him. He eyed me oddly when he saw my wallpaper. It was a picture of a beagle dog. "What?" I asked, moving my head back.
He shook his head then smiled, "Most girls usually have their selfies as their own wallpaper though."
"I feel awkward using my face as a wallpaper. I hate it." I admitted. "I've always wanted a beagle when I was a kid, but my mom doesn't want to buy me one. She said it might just die since she goes to work and I go to school, and no one will actually keep an eye on it." I said, staring at his hand.
"Ahh," He cooed under his breath. His long fingers were typing against the screen of my phone. "I already saved mine in your phone." He faced me, showing my phone. Taehyungie 💖
I looked at him after, "I like TaeTae better." I said, and it came out too seriously.
His brows lightly lifted up, "Don't said it too seriously. You're creeping me out." He joked, pretending to shiver. Then laughed after as he changed his contact name in my phone. Taetae 😍 "Okay? Are you satisfied? I've changed it to TaeTae." He handed my phone to me, and I nodded as I to retrieve it from him. Suddenly, he took it again from my hands swiftly that I didn't even touch his fingers. I looked at him strangely, and he pulled my seat closer to his which definitely caught me off guard. I could feel my shoulder touching his chest. He lifted the phone in his hand, and put the other on my other shoulder. I looked up to my phone in his hand, and saw him taking pictures. "We also don't have a picture together." He said, and it almost came out sweetly. Almost.
We both smiled in unison as he clicked for the camera button. Then we took another and another. The first ones were just like those typical pictures of couples I've seen online, then the next ones were funny faces which I absolutely love. I didn't know such beautiful face can make funny and ugly faces too. Taehyung was oddly different. Before I thought he stopped taking pictures, he pulled me again closer to him. Closer to his chest. I felt his hand on my shoulder tight, as if he didn't want to let go. Our faces were just inches close to each other, and it was suffocating me happily. "Look at your phone." He whispered in my earlobe. I obeyed him, and stared at us both through my phone. I saw him staring at me, like I was wearing nothing and it made me feel embarrassed all of a sudden.
With the sound of the camera clicked in my phone, I felt his soft lips pressed against my cheek. And for a goddamn second, I didn't breath. I didn't hear anything, but just the sound of my beating heart as if it was just only placed under the white shirt I'm wearing. I felt my cheeks burning. I felt my palms sweating. I couldn't look at Taehyung. I tried to look away, but then we were so close to each other that it was too hard not to notice this good-looking boy next to me. "I'm gonna take this photo." He said, showing the last photo he took. The one that he kissed my cheek.
I pulled away, creating space between us. "I looked awkward. Just take anything else but that." I said, trying to get my phone from him.
"No, you don't. It's cute." He said, staring at the photo dreamily. "You just looked a bit surprise, but not awkward."
"You're just saying that,"
He looked at me then finally handed my phone, "Don't delete a single photo, okay? Because I'll know." He said, then lean in, smirking playfully before he got up from his seat.
"Where are you going?"
"I'll go take a shower. Wanna come?" He teased.
I rolled my eyes at him, and hissed. "Pervert!"
I felt him tousled my hair softly, "I'll be back. Don't miss me too much." He said, and it made me all soft in the inside. He walked away, until he disappeared from my sight.
I wanted to fight these strong emotions within me whenever I'm with Taehyung because I know where it can lead me. I didn't want to fall for him too much, but he somehow keep on alluring me into him. Like he's a deep blue sea, tempting me to beauty and waiting for me to drown and die in him.
And now, I'm too drawn to him. Taehyung can be either a paradise or a trap. But each day, it feels both whenever I'm with him.