"I'm sorry." Johnny silently commented as he pulled his shirt back on.
Valerie laying still and in a frozen daze said nothing. Her mind in a complete darkened haze with no glint of light in it whatsoever.
"You didn't fight me, so I think you wanted it too." He mused out in an attempt to justify what he had done, he shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, I just, I hope we can still be friends." He mumbled to her although he knew there was no chance, and now he was consumed by guilt.
He glanced in her direction once before he decided to leave.
Valerie gazed around the living room before she drew her legs into her chest and lightly hung her head on her knees.
//
Nick was laying perfectly still on his bed, his phone up to his ear and his body wrapped around a warm blanket.
He was eager to hear her voice. He hadn't seen her in a total of two days because he wanted to make sure that he could either call or go to her without the fear of being heard or followed.
She didn't answer the first call and he felt discouraged but called again. After a few rings he thought she wouldn't answer but eventually she did.
"I miss you." He told her right when she picked her phone up, a grin slowly etching itself onto his face.
"Hey." Was all she said and in a low tone, Nick's smile grew, she was probably in the middle of sleeping and he loved hearing her soft and groggy tone.
"Like I really fucking miss you, you have no idea." He uttered with happiness laced in each word. He was blessed to have someone like her in his life.
For a while, he didn't hear anything on the other side until he received a soft sigh followed by a pathetic whimper. Nick tossed over and sat up on his small twin sized bed. She was probably hurting from the loss of her father.
"We need to break up." She said suddenly breaking the silence that had grown between them.
Nick scoffed in pure disbelief, "What?" He asked her wondering where all of this had been coming from.
"I'm sorry I don't want too but we have too. Look, I'm so stupid and I hate myself. I don't want you to hate me too," She explained short of breath and with a broken voice, "I can't have you hate me, I can't."
"Valerie, I don't hate you," He paused and inhaled for a brief moment, "Are you okay?" He asked her genuinely concerned whilst he got up from his bed to pull on a shirt, "I'm going over."
"Don't, I took Meeko and we left."
"What? Valerie we're not breaking up." He repeated to her running a hand through his hair in a stressed-like manner, "Where are you?"
"I love you, I'm sorry." Were her last words before she hung up her phone abruptly leaving Nick with no answers whatsoever.
Nick immediately felt a pang in his chest, his mind suddenly stopped working and for a second he couldn't move.
He redialed but it went straight to voicemail.
"Valerie, answer the phone."
He redialed again.
"You better fucking call me back I'm not playing your games."
Redial.
"You can't just leave! You can't fucking leave! You can't leave me! You're breaking my fucking heart you can't do this."
Redial.
"Valerie, please I don't know what you mean by 'I love you, I'm sorry.' Please don't do anything stupid Valerie please."
Redial.
"I don't know but, I love you, I hope you don't you mind."
Nick tossed his phone across the room and dropped himself onto the carpet, he was trying to piece things in his mind together.
She wouldn't hurt herself and leave Meeko alone, and that much he knew, she probably loved that dog more than she loved Nick and he was okay with it.
But he couldn't fathom as to why she would leave him, why she would just tell him it's over after everything they had been through.
He felt so broken and angry that he began to take his anger out on anything near him, breaking things and eventually punching a hole in the wall.
"Woah! Time the fuck out, did you just make a hole in the wall?" Marco loudly asked as he went barging through Nick's bedroom door, "The fucking landlord is going to have me by my balls."
Nick leaned his forehead against the wall he stood in front of, "She left me." He stated with his voice deeper than usual.
"What?" Marco questioned him, pulling his basketball shorts higher up his waist, he looked at Nick's hand and the blood that was running from it.
"She broke my heart." He muttered to himself, "She can't do this."
Marco swallowed his saliva and clenched his jaw tight, "What happened?"
"Marco I love her, I love her she's the only thing I have left, I can't lose her either." He sounded like he wanted to cry but even Marco could see his Gray eyes becoming larger and larger by the minute.
Marco shrugged, "I'll try to talk to her." He mentioned stepping out of the room to make the call leaving Nick alone again.
As silly as it sounded Nick never dealt with abandonment very well, it all stemmed from his childhood. His mother abandoned him and his father neglected him. He had a close bond with Johnny, and he had been the only reason Nick managed to survive, but the kid went from being warm and lovable to cold and cruel.
And that's who he was now, he was the one who would abandon others, others wouldn't abandon him.
Was he crazy or sick for wanting to kill himself at that very moment? For once he didn't want to be killed in a glorious way but he wanted to take his own life, and he felt weak. He had never contemplated the concept.
He put his arm around her waist and then bit down on her lower lip, she could feel her smile growing against his own.
She laughed wildly when he flipped her onto her back, he planted another kiss on her before she closed her eyes and frowned.
"What's wrong?" Nick asked her, placing his forehead on hers gently to look her directly in the eyes, she sighed and shook her head.
"Do you really love me?" She asked him, staring up into his cold gray eyes that showed nothing but anger or mischief.
Nick shook his head, "Don't ask me this." He replied rather intensely sitting back up on the bed they shared. She stared at his back rather intensely taking in all of the familiar tattoos. He could feel her coming towards him, she dangled her arms around his neck and rested her head against his shoulder.
She felt so delicate. So raw and emotional.
"Read me one of your poems." He asked her. Her eyes opened wide and she shook her head, "No, it's embarrassing." She answered as she sat back on the bed again a few inches away from him.
He turned his head momentarily to glance at her, she could see his boyish smile and his dimples.
"Please?" Nick asked turning his body towards her, "I know you write about me." He huskily whistled towards her.
She pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and wrapped herself in Nick's flannel before she got up to retrieve her black book.
Nick had constantly told himself that he didn't love Valerie. He was merely infatuated with her body and her innocent yet sexual allure. But then again Nick was always at odds with himself. He loved this girl more than he ever knew he was capable of.
She stared at the book, before she sat beside him. She leaned her head against his chest and she opened it. The words from each page jumped off the paper and into his mind.
Valerie cleared her throat and let out a small nervous laugh before she regained her composure.
"His smile doesn't stem from happiness but from his charm and egotistical ways. He finds himself questioning his existence often and I cannot help but want him to know he's the reason for my own. He's my constant inconsistency. He loves to be in charge, he makes sure I know it when his hands are around my neck and his lips are on my breasts. He watches me like a clock and I repay him with skin and lust. He's bitter just like the liquor he loves to indulge in. And he's cold like ice. Cold like a coke should be on a summer day, did I mention he hates summer? He hates the warmth. But he loves cold treats which explains why he licks me like ice cream until I scream. But he's beautiful, in every way and form, and when he dies, so will I, for he is the flower and I am his thorn. He is my prophet and I his devoted but lost follower."
And she blushed when he noticed Nick looking at her with a frown.
At that moment, it was the first time Nick admitted to himself that he had fallen completely in love with her.
Nick opened his eyes again when Marco came into the room, the small memory from long ago disappeared and now he was suddenly facing Marco who was handing him a revolver.
"Come with me, someone's trying to open the front door."
Snapping out of his depressed mind and into survival mode Nick quietly followed out behind Marco who had a sawed off shot gun in his hands.
"Open it." Marco whispered at Nick who slowly began to undo each lock and latch they had on the front door.
It may seem completely bogus, but they all had to be extra careful since they weren't dealing with nice people at all anymore.
Nick slowly opened the door, his gun behind his back and then he let himself relax when he saw the familiar face.
"Hey, can we talk?" Johnny asked.
Vote if Johnny is still a dick.
//
Shorter than usual whaaaaat? Idk sorry I'm sucking at updates I got finals and I've beeeen mad studying. Anyways... I've been working on this story since like early 2015 and I can't believe I'm still going this is so sad I am so sorry lol it's going to end soon though and I'll be sad but I started writing other things and idk when I'm ready to post them I would love it if you guys would check em out but yeah lemme just finish this first lol.
BTW WHAT ONE SONG FITS THIS STORY THE BEST? It's for my trailer 😭😭😭
Who's heard Starboy? It's sooo good.
Bye love u guys pls be safe!!! xx
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