I looked at him blankly for a few seconds. I thought long and hard about my response before I spoke.
"I think we need...A break, From each other."I said, Not trying to make it sound mean at all. I knew I wasn't going to make my decision today. And he's leaving back to L.A next week. "We need time apart, To develop individually"I added, Making sure he understood what I was saying. I know that's not what he wanted to hear, But I can't keep setting myself up for failure. I love him, I always will, But he needs to mature a little bit. We both do, I'm not saying we're never going to get back together, We have two kids together, We're going to be bonded for at least eighteen more years. I don't know how long it will take for us to get back together or if we will, Only time will tell. Maybe after he's been without us for a while, He'll appreciate what he has. Shortly after our talk, He left.
Minutes later, My attention turned to the door as it opened. Noah barged in, Zae followed behind with Nevaeh and finally Lisa with Miya.
"Mami!"Noah said excitedly as he ran to me, Nearly jumping into my arms.
"Hi baby"I spoke as I held my son in my lap. I kissed the side of his head as we sat.
* * *
"So did you and youngin' talk things out?"Lisa asked as she settled in.
"Somethin' like'at"I replied vaguely, Glancing down at Nevaeh as I fed her.
"Y'all never gon' let go'a each other, You know'at right?"She spoke, Causing me to look up at her. "You know i'm right too. He may go sleep around and have fun with his lil' hoes, But at the end of the day, He's always gon' come back t'you, Regardless. That don't make what he's doin' right, But it's still relevant. What y'all doin' then?"-
"I told'em I need a break. We need a break, T'focus on ourselves"-Lisa pushed her lips to the side. "What?"I questioned her look.
"Y'all ain't gon' take no break, Y'all got kids. I told Zae's Daddy the same thing. I'm done wit' you, I'on want you no more...Then Amiya came"She said, Explaining herself. "He's your first love, I get it, I've been there. And whether he wants to admit it or not, Your his first love too, He wouldn't keep coming back if he didn't care. He's a man, They'on like showin' their feelings"-
"I think he's stayed with me because he feels bad for me"I stated truthfully.
"What?"-
"He knows how I grew up, Where I came from, What I went through, And he feels bad for me, So he won't make himself leave me"I explained my earlier statement. The more I thought and talked about it, The more it made sense, And the stupider I felt. What if i'm right? That would literally destroy me...
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