"Your heart is like a guillotine
It severely cut me out but
Like an ogre, I secretly got to you"
————————
"You're dating Kim Taehyung?!" Sooyoung and Yeri asked in unison as they lean their heads toward me across the small table. Sooyoung, Yeri and Sungjae were all surprised when I told them about Taehyung and I, but for Byunghun, he didn't seem really surprised after all.
Today's Friday. Classes were done, and Taehyung didn't attend any of the classes today. Teachers and classmates (especially girls) were asking me why was Taehyung absent today, but I always answered them by saying 'I don't know'. Which is true, I have no idea where he is—maybe he's with his friends right now, but I still wasn't sure if I was right. Whenever someone would ask me about Taehyung—like where he is, what does he like, where did he live or any questions related to him, I suddenly wished they never ask instead. It made me feel useless all of a sudden. It made me ask myself if am I really his girlfriend? We've been dating for almost two weeks now, and we still haven't exchange phone numbers. What kind of dating relationship is this?
"Yeah, like they're too obvious already!" Byunghun said, drinking his soju from his shot glass in one go. We went out to a tteokbokki stand after class dissmisal, and Sungjae offered that he would treat us all.
"Wow! I'm really happy for you, Areum!" Yeri said clapping her hands as she chewed on her food.
"You two will be the cutest, most perfect couple ever!" Sooyoung said dreamily.
"What about us? Aren't we the cutest?" Sungjae butted in, eyeing Sooyoung.
"No, we're not a cute couple because you're ugly!" She said, teasing the boy. Sungjae pouted his lips, trying to be cute while those three kept laughing. Sooyoung pretended to puke as Sungjae tried to be cute. Slowly, staring at those two lovebirds, I was smiling already. They looked perfect as if they weren't even trying hard to look good as a couple. They're just naturally good together. But with me and Taehyung, why does everything felt force?
After a split second, everyone kept laughing except for Sungjae who stood up and retrieved his phone from his pocket. He answered a phone call which made each of us looked at him. His attention shifted to me as he listened to the person over the phone. "It's your mom," He said, whispering as he handed me his phone.
I furrowed my brows, wondering why did she call Sungjae. "Hello, mom?"
"Areum! Where are you? I've been trying to call you, but you weren't answering your phone!" She said loud enough for me to hear it clearer. "Your Taehyung is waiting for you here at home. He said you two will go to a party. Why aren't you home yet?"
I gasped, biting my lip as soon as mom mentioned Taehyung's name. "My phone died, that's why I couldn't answer your calls. I'm sorry, mom. Tell him to wait a little bit more. I'm on my way." I said, standing up from my seat and picking up my bag. I gave Sungjae his phone, and told them I have to leave already. They all gave me quick embrace before I could leave.
As soon as the cab stopped in front of the the gates of our house, I immediately gave the driver my payment, and went out the vehicle. I hurriedly run inside the house as I kept calling mom. I stopped when I saw Taehyung comfortably sitting on a couch. "H-Hi. . ." I said awkwardly waving my hand. "I'm sorry. . . Have you been waiting here?" I asked him. Taehyung was about to answer when mom stood in the kitchen's doorway.
"He's been waiting since 5 PM." She said, folding her arms to her chest. "Now, hurry up! Go change your clothes! Make sure to come home not that too late, okay?!" She yelled as I run my way upstairs to my room.
Once I entered my room, I threw my bag on my bed and looked for the perfect clothes to wear. I tried on a polka-dot dress with tights, but it didn't look right. And so does my favorite lavender heart sweater. Everything looked childish all of a sudden. Finally, I settled on a floral babydoll dress with a pastel blue Keds where I both ordered off a fashion street site. I didn't bother putting on make-up or styling my hair, and went downstairs as I brought my favorite purse with me.
When I finally reached the living room, the two of them shifted their gazes on me. My mom looked at me proudly and happily while Taehyung smiled at me as I walked towards their direction . Taehyung's boyish smile looked sincere as if he really meant it, and all the annoyance he has been feeling as he waited for me today was all gone.
"You look good." He said, whispering to my ear as I stood beside him.
Mom couldn't stop looking at us with her motherly smile. "Oh geez, baby! You look beautiful as always." She said, "Well, carry on now. Have fun, and make sure to come back before midnight, alright?"
"Okay, mom!" I told her, hugging her then kissed her on the cheek before Taehyung and I left the house and climbed to the pick-up truck that was just parked outside (and which I didn't notice before I entered the house).
Taehyung already started the engine, and in a few seconds the truck lurched forward. He put on his red snapback as soon as he started driving. For the first time, I got the chance to see his face without his bangs falling in his eyes. I could clearly see his forehead, and I think it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I didn't notice the outfit he was wearing when I got inside the house because I really panicked. Taehyung was wearing a white tee underneath his red plaid checkered cardigan and a pair of black skinny jeans with his red Vans as well. He looked like your typical badass jerk, but if you looked at him closely, you'd see he's nothing but a cute little boy.
I looked up to see the side of his face again. He's really beautiful. I thought, drowning myself in his beauty, but then the boy I've met the other day popped in my head suddenly as I carefully stared at Taehyung.
'That kid's dangerous.' That words from that pale boy repeated in my head. Watching Taehyung drive, I couldn't help, but remember the night I saw his face covered in wounds as he drove the same truck.
I wanted to forget what that suspicious boy told me, but why do I feel like he knew something? Something about Taehyung's identity. I shook my head eagerly, ignoring those senseless thoughts. Then, Taehyung glanced at me, and let go of his one hand from the steering wheel. He took my hand from my lap, and held it gently. Our hands were in between us; I could feel his thumb brushing against my knuckles as he held it. "You okay?" He asked in a low voice.
I nodded my head timidly, "Sorry, I didn't come earlier. I didn't know you were going to pick me up at home."
He kept his eyes locked on the road, "It's alright. I didn't tell you that I skipped classes today either." He smiled, "I guess we're truce."
"Then. . . may I ask why you skipped classes today?" I asked him, tilting my head a little.
He glanced at me for a bit before he looked back to the road again, "Oh. . . Solji called me this morning. She said she wanted to see me, so I went to her place." He said casually.
I felt my heart ache for a goddamn second. He skipped class because of his friend, Solji? Is that what he was trying to say? I didn't know how to respond. I felt jealous. I always feel that way when it comes to her. It took me almost a minute or two before I could even talk, "So, you went to her place? . . Is Hoseok okay with this?"
"Yeah. We're cool." He said. "I mean, Solji and I are old friends."
"Doesn't Hoseok get jealous? You and Solji—"
"Are you jealous?" He cut me off, returning my question back to me.
Yes. Very much. "No, why would I?" I lied, looking out the window.
"Exactly. If you're not jealous, I'm sure Hoseok isn't as well." He answered. "Anyways, Solji and I are just like you and Sungjae. Old friends and stuff like that. You get the idea."
You two aren't anything like Sungjae and I.
I'm not in a unrequited love with a friend, Taehyung.
I'm in a unrequited love with you, and still, I have no idea if you will ever return the same feelings for me or you'll just give me false hope of pretending you like me everyday.
I turned to look at him again, "Yeah, I get the idea." I said, tightly holding his hand, as it showed how terrified I am in losing him.