Wrap My Mind Around You - Trent Dabbs
Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
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Zayn leads me through the house with ease. Knowing the layout like the back of his hand. We finally get close to the living room and I can hear the others chatting and laughing. Pausing at the hallway before people can see us he gives me an unsure look.
"I don't mind." I'm not sure if the unsure look was asking for permission for them to see us like this, but I didn't mind. Zayn chews on his lip for a moment, I hope I didn't make him feel obligated now to hold my hand in front of them.
"Fuck it, let them talk." I'm surprised but happy from his response as we take off down the stairs into the living room. One by one, everyone's eyes turn to us. Their eyes going directly to our intertwined fingers.
Though I feel embarrassed by the showing of PDA with Zayn, his touch soothes me. It reminds me that with him here, I don't care what people think. Let them talk... I don't care.
"Zayn didn't we find you and Juliet?" Louis speaks up, breaking the intense silence.
"Yeah." Zayn nods. A flash of heat crosses my face, do they know we were kissing? Did they tell the others?
"See! We won!" Louis laughs turning to Liam who just shakes his head with disagreement. I'm thankful for Louis, he immediately takes the attention off of Zayn and I, or at least attempts to.
"No you didn't! We found Harry! That was the hardest thing! He's like a ninja!" Liam defends. I forgot about Harry, I feel guilt ring through my heart as I slowly look for him. He's leaning by the window, his eyes focused on our hands. He doesn't convey any emotion, he just stares.
I want to pull my hand away, feeling awful doing this in front of him, whatever THIS was. But I can't, not because it'll set Zayn and I back but I don't want to let go of him, I know I'll end up feeling empty and miss his touch. Just like all the other times before.
"We won! Don't even start Liam! I'm starving, so buy us some dinner!" Niall demands. Danielle is laughing hysterically at the boys getting worked up over this. I enjoy this, boys acting like boys, nothing awkward... I look at Harry again, he's staring out the window and Sarah is next to him. I don't think they're saying anything, but then again it's hard to focus on anything with Zayn holding my hand.
Danielle rests a hand on Liam's back and he looks to her with a sad look that makes me want to laugh. She laughs and pats his back; all I can do is smile at the scene. This group of friends, they were the best group of friends to be with in college.
"I'll pay for dinner. Pizza sound good?" She glances around the room, her eyes linger on Zayn and I for a second but keep moving.
"Sounds great!" Niall answers for everyone with a loud laugh. Lindsay is smiling as she sits on the couch alone. I bring my free hand and touch Zayn's arm lightly.
He turns his head and looks at me, his eyes scanning over my face with curiosity. I give him a look I hope he understands and nod to Lindsay. He turns to look at her and I think he understands because when I release his hand he doesn't object, or look angry or hurt.
I instantly want to take his hand again but I don't want to be a bad friend to Lindsay. I make my way to the couch and sit down next to her, she instanlty welcomes my presence.
"Having fun?" I smile at her. The couch is low to the ground and all too comfortable. Though we've only been at the house for barely an hour, making it close to 5pm, I am exhausted. Mostly because of the emotional ride I went on.
Kissing Zayn, talking to him about what we were going to... it was just exhausting, anticipating and predicting what he was going to do. I was prepping myself for him to blow up at someone at any moment.
"So you and him?" Lindsay lowers her voice next to me with a smile, not answering my earlier question. I look to her and follow her eyes to Zayn. I laugh and shake my head,
"Yeah... I don't know." I admit.
"You two were holding hands, in front of everyone." She reminds. Yeah, that's true, we were...
"I just... I'm not sure what we are." I mumble with a small smile. I remember that one night of our talk... he didn't like labels. We hadn't even agreed to what this was... just to go after what we wanted. He promised I wasn't a game... That was a start. "Are you having a good time?" I turn to her and she nods with a bright smile.
"Of course I am! These boys are so funny." She laughs as she glances at Liam and Niall. Niall is telling Liam what kind of pizza he wants but Liam won't have it. They're arguing about food and how much to get. "Who argues this much about food?"
An easy answer I knew, Niall... over the few weeks I have got to know him I've realized two major points about him. First off he was always happy and there to lift peoples spirits from the ground. Second, he could eat. And when I say eat, I mean eat more than a normal teenage boy. A black hole would be an excellent example of his stomach.
"Fine." I hear Liam sigh and give in. Niall does a small cheer of his victory.
"What did he win?" I ask.
"We're ordering five pizzas." Liam mumbles.
"Five?" I raise my eyebrows, there was only nine of us.
"Yeah." He sighs. "Niall gets two of them and the leftovers." Liam explains looking to Zayn. Zayn stands where I left him but his arms are crossed. He looks uninterested in everything happening around him. Niall eating two pizzas... by himself... is that humanly possible?
"Where's your phone Zayn! I need to order the pizza that Liam and his loser team will pay for!" Niall demands walking to Zayn. Zayn nods to the kitchen where there is a phone hanging on the wall. Niall cheers and rushes to the phone.
"Hey Zayn, Charles says that he wants to throw a party tomorrow night, he needs some money from all of us to get the booze though." Louis speaks, holding his phone to his chest. I'm guessing he's on the phone with Charles now.
Charles... He was the fraternity president, the head of the house. I wonder why Zayn wasn't the president of the frat since his uncle was basically the founder of it and bought the house they live in. I wonder if Zayn even likes Charles?
"Oh yeah, tell him I'll get some cash on the way back to the house tonight." Zayn has a smile on his face, I gather he likes Charles from his response. Louis repeats Zayn's words into the phone ending the call.
"Pizza is on the way!" Niall announces proudly. I watch Zayn but he doesn't look at me. Instead he walks over to Liam and Danielle, beginning a light conversation. Not trying to read into it I turn my attention back to Lindsay who is striking up a conversation with Sarah.
Glancing around the room I realize Harry is gone. I chew on my lip not sure if I should go looking for him. I know that Harry and I weren't anything though I feel guilty and feel the urge to explain myself. I realize that Sarah is on the couch now talking to Lindsay. Getting to know each other, soon enough it's dark out and the pizza arrives.
As we all walk to the kitchen to eat I grab Sarah and pull her to the side towards the wall of windows. Her eyebrows knit together as her eyes widen at my action.
"Is everything okay?" her laughter is nervous as I glance around the room.
"Where did Harry go?" I wasn't sure what I was hoping to do if he was still here. It wouldn't make sense for me to explain myself to him, though I felt I should. I knew he liked me - at least Sarah said so, the guilt was filling my head and heart.
"Oh, he said he had to go." She mumbles quietly so only I can hear. "It might have to do with the whole... thing." She nods towards where Zayn and I once stood. I gulp and nod, trying to shake the guilt away. Maybe he had something to do, I just hoped it wasnt' because of Zayn and I. Sarah and I walk over towards the kitchen, joining the others.
Niall devours a whole box before most of us are on our second piece. Sarah doesn't seem to notice as she is chatting away with the group. We sit in the dining room. The table is a beautiful wood with a cream tablecloth over it. Zayn sits across from me with Louis and Lindsay.
He hasn't looked at me since I sat down with Lindsay and my gut begins to twist. I imagine all the things running through his head. The possibility that he lied and that this was a game and he won. The possibility that he realized that he just agreed to... do whatever it was with me - a boring girl. Or he was realizing the fact that I wasn't at all his type.
As the rest of our night comes to an end we all walk outside to our cars, saying our goodbyes. Zayn doesn't speak to anyone as they say goodbye so I just figure I won't say bye, especially since he's been acting aloof the whole time. Walking to the car with Lindsay I'm surprised when he calls to me.
"Juliet." I pause in my steps, was he going to say goodbye? I hear his footsteps walk after me and I turn to face him. Everyone else was trying not to stare and pretend to be in conversation while he approached me.
"Hi?" I'm not sure what to say, that definitely was not it.
"Do you think you could give me a ride to the bank and then the frat house? I came up with Louis but he's got some thing to handle." He explains.
"I have to take Lindsay-" I glance at Lindsay who smiles.
"Sarah!" She interrupts me, calling to Sarah who turns to us as if she didn't notice we were there. "Could you take me back to the dorms?" Lindsay asks with a smile. I feel the blood drain from me. I didn't know how I felt being in the car with Zayn right now.
We had agreed to try doing what we wanted, to move forward - at least that's what I thought - but the minute I sat down with Lindsay he went to ignoring my presence as usual.
"Of course. Niall?" Sarah turns to Niall who nods with a smile. They were all letting him get in the car with me, alone.
"Thanks Jules! You saved me a trip!" Louis calls from his big silver truck. Zayn smiles at me and I do my best to smile at him, preparing myself for the awkward ride - possibly a ride that will cause us to fight.
"See you back on campus Jules." Sarah waves at me. I nod and walk to my car, before I can make it to the drivers side Zayn's hand wraps around my wrist. I turn to him, surprised at the gesture but he holds out his hand instead.
"I'm driving." He says firmly.
"What?" I laugh. Everyone is getting in their cars now and leaving us at the house. "No." I laugh shaking my head. "No way." I say as he holds his play, his hand around my wrist, holding it. I can't ignore the electricity that shoots up from his touch, but I try because he wants to drive my car.
"Come on Juliet, I'm a better driver than you, I know that much."
"You've never seen me drive!" I argue.
"Let's go." He says firmly, he takes the keys from my hands in a swift motion before I have time to react he is in the drivers seat. I let out an angry breath and walk around to the passenger side. At least he was talking to me.
Getting into the car and buckling up we begin our drive. He turns up the radio to the point that we can still talk but we don't have to. I look out the window, I want to talk to him but I don't know where to begin or what to say.
"Is everything okay?" I decide to go with. I see him dart his eyes over to me and back to the road.
"Why wouldn't it be?" I can tell by his voice he is actually serious in his question. Did he not realize he ignored me the whole night? Or was that all in my head, my over bearing and over thinking head?
"I mean... You've been ignoring me ever since I sat down with Lindsay." I say, I look at him now as I see him purse his lips. Once I've said the words I can see how it might seem silly. But considering Zayn's and I current track record I had a right to be nervous.
He takes a moment to answer before licking his lips and reaching his hand across, resting it on my thigh. My body immediately heats up and my core grows warm from his touch.
"I'm sorry I did that." He mumbles. "I'm just... I'm not used to whatever this is and I just... I don't really know how to act in public situations." I hear that, I wasn't sure how to act either.
Matt and I would just hold hands, a small kiss at most, there was never a need - a craving for more. But when Zayn touched me, when he would brush against me, there was instant yearning for more contact.
"I guess I don't either... I expect you to be like Matt." I mumble, I feel his hand tense on my leg and I realize how my words sound. "I mean I don't want you to though." I explain quickly. "He's just the only relationship I've had."
"I've had a few relationships." Zayn admits, turning the car so we leave the extravagant neighborhood. "The term relationships being used lightly, very lightly." He laughs. I feel uncomfortable talking about this, I knew we weren't in a relationship and I didn't want to question it.
I don't want to think about how he doesn't like labels. I don't lik how he is always trying to find ways to push me out of his life. I don't like how he just admitted he hadn't really had a real relationship - what was I expecting to happen? I bite my lip, closing my eyes for a moment to shove the thoughts to the back of my mind.
"So who's house was that?" I speak, opening my eyes and shifting in my seat. "I mean... are you directly related to your aunt or uncle?"
"Aunt. I've had a heavy woman influence, you could say." He answers in a monotone voice.
"Oh..." I breathe, another piece to the puzzle of his background. I make my next question sound as casual and light as I could possibly make it. "So is she related to your... your mom or your..."
"Dad." He fills in. I wait for him to answer, and then I realize he had answered my question, not finished it. I feel his hand tense on my leg; I hate to know he was tense because I had brought that up. I take his hand and wrap both my hands around his. His arm relaxes as we pull up to the bank.
We go through the drive through and he takes out a large amount of cash, putting it into his wallet. He drives us back to the frat house. I have to admit, he does drive better than me. The only other time I was in the car with him was when he forced me to study at the frat house, and at that point in time I was too mad to notice his driving.
Stopping outside the frat house I get out of the car as he does. I walk around to meet him on the drivers side in front of the house. We stand there awkwardly, not sure what to do.
"Here." He hands me my keys. I give a quick small smile, accepting the keys and glancing at my car.
"Well... I'll see you?" I offer as I take a step towards my car. I feel his arm slip around my waist and his lips are on mine in an instant. Though it has only been a few hours, I have missed his kiss.
His perfect lips against mine, sending electricity through my body, my blood rushing and my knees weak as always. He pulls away too soon and gives a small smirk.
"Malik!" An Australian accent calls. We turn our attention to the man walking towards us. He looks a few years older than Zayn, most likely three.
He has short styled blonde hair and a misty sea green eyes. He's pretty built. As he gets closer I compare him to Zayn. Not as good of looks but he was taller than Zayn. They had the same body mass, though Zayn seemed to have more muscle tone.
"Charles!" Zayn smiles, walking to Charles and greeting him in a quick hug. Charles has a single tattoo on his left forearm, other than that he's pretty clean cut.
"You got the money for the booze?" Charles holds out his hand with a girn on his face. Charles was very friendly and Zayn seemed to like him quite a bit.
"You know I do." Zayn laughs giving Charles a chunk of money.
"And who is this little thing." Charles smiles at me in a way that I can't help but look away from, becoming embarassed of the lustful look.
"Oh um she's..." Zayn is at a lost for words and I feel slightly hurt. I have no reason to, what did I expect him to say about me? I'm this girl he's trying things with? That sounded awful.
"Juliet." I introduce myself, taking a step forward and offering my hand out to him. He smiles and shakes my hand.
"Lovely to make your acquaintance Ms. Juliet." He smirks. "Will you and Zayn be attending the party tomorrow?"
"We're not together Charles." Zayn rushes in quickly. I feel a pinch in my heart, even though we aren't officially together I didn't expect him to say anything - or at least deny things so quickly. I wasn't sure what you'd call us but I didn't expect him to be so defensive about us.
"Even better." Charles smiles at me, I notice Zayn's fists clench but he doesn't say a word. "You should come to the party tomorrow night. Shouldn't she Malik?" Zayn is silent, I feel him growing cold and pulling away. He shrugs and walks away into the house.
"Hmmm..." Charles eyes follow Zayn for a moment before turning to me with a pearly white smile. "Well I really hope to see you tomorrow night Juliet." Charles gives a wink and follows Zayn into the house.
I'm left standing outside the frat house. I couldn't help but feel lost. Not only five minutes ago Zayn was kissing me goodbye, then saying we weren't together, then not even saying goodbye and walking away...
Walking away from the steps we had taken to figuring things out. Walking away from some of the hope I had for us.
I stand glued to the sidewalk outside the house. Alone and confused... the way I always feel when left by Zayn.
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(A/N: I picture Charles played by Sam Claflin, picture to side. Just in case you were wondering!)