Isaac sniffed and shivered as he helped Derek carry Carmen's body into her home. They set her body on the couch and both of them stood wordlessly, neither knowing what to say or if they should say anything at all.
Though Isaac had partially calmed down since her initial death, a few tears still found their way stinging into his eyes again. Every time he looked at her resting face, more and more would only form in place of others.
Isaac bit his lip and glanced up at Derek, who's jaw was tightly clenched along with his fists, his face stern.
"Derek . ." Isaac called timidly, getting his attention. Isaac raised his eyebrows at him, knowing that Derek would understand his unspoken question.
"I should be the one asking you that," Derek sniffs, staring down at her. "I'll be fine, I've dealt with this before. I uh- I have a capacity and an ability to suppress my emotions."
". . I don't." Isaac mumbles just above a whisper, feeling that familiar burning sensation within his throat again.
Derek finally gives in to his emotions and brings Isaac in for a hug, allowing them both to cry into each other's shoulders for support.
For more than a year, Carmen had become a staple in their life. She was always there, and no matter what he ever said to her or did to her, Derek loved her just as much as the next person and found it impossible to imagine a life without her constantly pestering him.
"I never got to say goodbye," Derek lets out a shaky breath, pulling away from Isaac.
Isaac gulps and sighs, glaring down at her.
"I don't think I'll ever meet anyone like her again." Isaac whispered, biting his lip painfully hard.
Derek opens his mouth to speak again, but Isaac quickly interrupts before he gets the chance.
"When will it be my turn?"
Derek furrowed his eyebrows at him in concern and confusion, "What do you mean?"
"We're the only two standing from our original pack," Isaac points out, "Boyd, Erica, and Carmen are all dead. When will it be my turn to go? Why was I the last beta standing?"
"Don't think like that," Derek frowns, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"She didn't deserve this," Isaac gulps down the lump in his throat. "I never deserved her."
"She's in a better place now, she's safe from everything in this world." Derek reassures him, looking down at the ground. "Try to get some sleep tonight. We can have the ceremony for her tomorrow at the Hale house. ."
Derek pats him on the back, his own eyes glazed over. He quickly removes himself from Carmen's home and to his own, refusing to let Isaac see him break down over the subject.
Isaac sat next to the couch, undaring to look at her body again. He couldn't stand to look at her anymore, knowing that he would never be able to hear her voice again. He would never be able to hug her or kiss her, or tell her how much he loves her. He would never be able to see her face light up when she got passionate about something, or see the twinkle in her eyes when she spoke.
The thought only broke him further with each second passing that he thought about it, but he couldn't help himself. It was impossible for him to get any sleep, as every time he closed his eyes, he envisioned Carmen gasping and wheezing for air in his arms again.
Isaac leaned his head back on the arm of the chair and stared into the darkness of the lifeless home, sitting there for hours as the bags under his eyes sunk deeper and deeper.
▲▼
The rapping on the front door of the home was what finally snapped Isaac out of his trance. He whipped his head up and noticed that light beams were shining through the windows, brightly illuminating the house. Everything was calm, and the birds outside chirped cheerily, as if nothing was wrong with the world.
The dead body on the couch proved that theory wrong.
The rapping on the door sounds again, reminding him that someone was there. Isaac rubbed his hands over his extremely tired face and finally pushed off the ground, grunting from the soreness in his limbs, courtesy of his position on the floor all night.
He stretches and glances down at Carmen, who, of course, was in the same place she was left. Isaac swallowed the lump in his throat and quickly averted his gaze, trying to push reality from his mind once again as he sauntered slowly to the front door.
Isaac's hand twists the doorknob and opens the door, his mouth going slack in shock. Allison's eyes also went wide, as she didn't expect him to be the one to open the door. Allison held a large, plastic bag in her right hand and her phone in her left.
"Uh, hi." She mumbled lowly.
"Hi," Isaac rubbed his eyes, leaning against the doorframe with a frown. "What are you doing here?"
"The funeral- I mean, uhm," Allison stuttered nervously, taking a deep breath and looking down at the pavement below them. "Derek told Lydia and I to dress her for the burial. Lydia's running late, so she's just going to meet us there."
"It's time already?" Isaac raises his eyebrows, tears forming in his eyes. "I've been awake for that long?"
"You didn't get any sleep?" Allison inquires as Isaac steps to the side and allows her into the home. "You should try to. We have a long day ahead of us."
"You know I can't." Isaac shakes his head, biting his lip harshly.
Allison shoots him a sad smile and walks into the living room, setting her bag on the glass table. As she looks over to Carmen's body, she can't help but gulp down her tears, looking over to Isaac.
"I can take it from here," She gives him a reassuring grin, beginning to pull a dress and makeup from her large plastic bag. "It won't take long."
Isaac clenches his fists in an attempt to calm himself down as he nods and walks out of the room, leaving Allison with Carmen. He makes his way down the hallway and into the bathroom, closing the door behind him quietly.
Isaac placed his hands on the granite counter and slowly raised his head to examine himself in the mirror. His lips were dry and chapped. His skin was extremely pale, all of the color flushed from crying. There were prominent tear streams down his face that made it obvious that his night had been anything but easy. The streaks complimented the blue bags under his eyes, signifying the extreme lack of sleep he was suffering from.
Isaac brings a hand up to his hair, tugging harshly at his roots. He clenched his jaw and his breathing began to heavy, the haunting thoughts beginning to seep into his brain again.
The love of his life was down the hallway, getting dressed for her own funeral. This isn't right.
Isaac splashes water on his face to wake himself up and mask his tears, drying it off with a towel a second later. He takes more deep breaths and begins to feel himself calm down, averting his gaze from the reflection in the mirror.
"Isaac," He hears Allison call, tapping slightly on the wooden door to get his attention. "She's ready . ."
Isaac sniffs once more and finally pulls himself together, pushing off from the counter and walking out of the door to meet Allison in the living room again.
Carmen was delicately laid on the couch as before. She sported a red, short, flowing summery dress, her feet covered with shiny black heels. Her hair was left in her normal curly state. Her face was also nearly the same, aside from the mascara on her eyelashes and the red lipstick complimenting her coffee toned skin.
Her skin.
Isaac furrowed his eyebrows as he kneels down next to the couch and examines her further. He brought a hand up to her cheek, noticing how weird her skin looked. Not in a bad way- Quite the opposite. Her skin looked perfect. No color had been washed from it at all; It merely looked like she was sleeping, rather than being dead for hours now.
"Weird, right?" Allison spoke up from behind him, startling him. "Her slashes are gone too. Her body must still be trying to heal itself."
Isaac only nods and bites his lip, grabbing Carmen's cold hand in his own.
"She looks amazing," Isaac whispered, looking up to Allison with a sad smile, "Thank you so much for doing this."
"It was the least I could do." Allison gulps sadly, folding her arms over her chest. "Really."
Isaac is intently focused on the body before him, only being snapped out of his melancholy daze when he hears a sniff behind him. He slowly raises his head to look up at Allison, who had her hand over her mouth and her eyes filled to the brim with tears.
"Allison . ." He whispered cautiously. Allison shakes her head and looks down at the wooden floors.
"I treated her so badly," Allison began, a small cry leaving her lips, "I-I tried to kill them on multiple occasions, I locked them in my basement, I made you cheat on her with me. She hated, me, but she still gave her life to save mine! Why?"
Isaac stood and brought her into a gentle hug, allowing her to cry into his shoulder. Isaac, on the other hand, was almost positive he had run out of tears to shed.
About a minute later, another knock on the door sounds throughout the house. Allison separates from Isaac and gives him a small nod, wiping her nose on her jacket sleeve as he trotted over to the door to open it.
Lydia and Kira stood there, dressed in black from head to toe. They both gave Isaac kind, reassuring smiles, glancing over to Carmen on the couch.
"Derek said to bring her to his old house, all of the guys are already there." Lydia cleared her throat, obviously trying to remain her composure in front of everyone in the room. "Do you need help carrying her to the car?"
Isaac shook his head, already on his way to the couch to get her.
"We'll be waiting for you in the car." Kira states. Allison walks over to join them and they all saunter out of the house and into a truck.
Isaac looks down at his clothes, realizing that he was still in his jeans and t-shirt. He concluded that it didn't matter; He merely wanted to go to the funeral and get out, ready to spend the remainder of his month (And then some) sulking in bed.
Isaac reached down and gathered Carmen in his arms bridal style, trying so hard not to think of the time Carmen jumped from her window and they were in that exact same position. How was it possible that everyone turned sour in a mere matter of months?
With a deep sigh, Isaac pushes out of the front door to meet everyone at the truck.
▲▼
"Hey, man," Scott greeted as he caught up to Isaac and placed a hand on his back as they piled out of the truck. Derek was on the other side of the vehicle, retrieving the body alongside Lydia.
"Hi." Isaac replies nonchalantly.
"Did you bring a jacket?" Stiles asked as he sauntered over to the two, "It's chilly out here."
He didn't want to be seen by anyone- He didn't want anyone to notice his flushed complexion and the darkness under his eyes. So, Isaac keeps lips pressed together tightly, only shrugging down at the ground.
"Did you eat something?" Scott inquires, giving him a concerned look. Isaac shrugs.
". . Did you get any sleep?" Stiles asks. Once again, Isaac shrugs.
"Jeez, man." Scott sighs, rubbing his arm soothingly. "I know this is hard, but you still have to take care of yourself."
You don't know anything, Isaac thought to himself.
"Guys," Derek calls from the forest, catching everyone's attention. "We're ready."
Isaac is quick to walk over, looking down at the makeshift hole derek had spent all night digging. It was much like the ones that had been dug for Erica and Boyd, both buried just feet away from Carmen's grave.
Carmen lay delicately in the hole, her hands folded over her chest in an X. She looked beautiful to Isaac- She always did, and she always would, even if her body was nothing but bones and ash.
In this moment, Isaac found it hard to believe that he would ever fall in love with someone else, as every time she crossed his mind, he'd fall in love with the thought of her all over again.
Everyone gathered around the hole, staring down at her in their own grief.
"We should uh. ." Derek starts, realizing that his voice came out scratched and raspy from his oncoming tears. He cleared his throat before speaking again. "We should all go around and talk- You know, about her. Who wants to go first?"
"I do," A voice spoke behind them, causing them to all whip around. Casey was walking their way, his eyes bloodshot and drooped. Derek immediately tensed up at the sight of him, beginning to stalk towards him, but Scott shot an arm out to stop him.
"What are you doing here." Derek growls lowly at him, his canines beginning to poke out.
"No," Casey shakes his head, sniffing. "No, you don't get to do that. You don't get to decide who can attend and who can't. I cared about her just as much as all of you, and I just want to watch the burial."
"You-" Derek begins to launch towards him, but Scott and Kira both go to hold onto him.
"Derek," Scott snarls in his ear meanly, "I know you two have bad blood, but now isn't the time. This is a time to celebrate Carmen, and he has a right to be here. Put your troubles aside for Carmen's sake, just for today. You know she wouldn't want this."
Derek began to come down, his breathing finally returning to a normal pace. His nose flares as he begins to retreat from the group and into the wrecked house, but not before muttering a, "Fine. I'll be back."
The group all stands in an awkward silence, patiently waiting for Derek's return. Isaac turns to face Casey, his lips, blue from the cold, opening to speak.
"Hey, t-thank you for coming." Isaac greets genuinely, a weak smile playing on his lips. "I'm sure she would really appreciate you coming- All of you."
"Obviously it's not the fanciest burial ever," Stiles commented, eliciting lighthearted chuckles from the bunch. "But I think it's what she would have wanted."
Isaac nods in agreement just as Derek emerges from the house again, his hands full of yellow flowers. He goes around and hands one to everyone- Including Casey- and takes his former spot beside Scott.
"I-I said I would go first," Casey speaks up above the group, taking a step forward to get a better look at her before he continued. "I know I wasn't visible for a majority of the time I knew of her, but even when she didn't know I existed, I learned so much about her. I learned about how committed she was. I learned about how fragile she was, yet also how incredibly strong she was. She also taught me things about myself- That I don't have to kill to get what I want in life. She taught me how to better myself physically and mentally, and I'm eternally grateful for that. Here's to Carmen Taylor, the most forgiving, dedicated, impactful person I ever knew."
Casey takes a deep breath and tosses his flower into the hole, then goes on to take steps back to his respective spot in the circle.
"Who's next?" Derek asks, glancing around at everyone. When no outright volunteers come forward, steps up himself, clearing his throat. "I guess I'll go. Over the past year I've had the privilege of watching Carmen grow, alongside Boyd and Erica. None of these kids deserved what they got, but sometimes, the worst things happen to the best people. I'll never forget Carmen and all that she's done for me."
Derek drops his flower in, taking is former spot.
To everyone's surprise, Allison is next to step up. She seems nervous, under the heavy gazes of everyone. She felt as if they were judging her, scolding her for speaking up about Carmen after the trials she put her through. So, she averted her gaze, staring up at the clear blue sky as she began to speak.
"I know I never made that much of an effort to become best friends with Carmen," She paused to sniff, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. "In fact, I'm probably the last person who should be speaking here. As Casey said, Carmen truly was one of the most forgiving people I will ever know. Just looking on the surface, you wouldn't think that, but underneath, it's an entirely different story. When her brother died- The brother that killed her parents and manipulated her- She still cried, she still grieved, because of her willingness to forgive. And even after all that I've personally put her through- Attempted killings, kidnaps, affairs . . If it wasn't for her, I would be laying in a hole instead of her. In a lot of ways, I think I deserved to be the one in that hole. Carmen kept me alive because she forgave me- All of us, and I truly owe her my life."
A yellow flower was dropped into the hole.
One by one, the groups continue to drop flowers in, giving their 2 cents on the life of Carmen. Then came the moment that Isaac dreaded the most. He looked down at the yellow flower in his hand, realizing that the others had none. It was his turn to finally speak. Isaac stiffened and kneeled next to the hole, twisting the flower around in his large palm.
"I'm not good with words, but I'll try my best to tell you what I'm feeling." Isaac clenched his teeth together, his lips wavering from his newly forming tears. He looked down at the body, acting as if he was talking directly to her. As if he still could.
"The night Carmen and I met, I thought I was going to die. I could see the werewolf, and I thought for sure, that was the end. Little did I know that that would be the beginning of my life. Carmen fell down the grave with me and we stayed there until Derek found us and we were interrogated the next morning. Carmen never gave up in defending me, even though I was a total stranger, and she never gave up protecting me from that point on. I did some things I wasn't proud of- I took her for granted, and I lost her for some time. Even though it was less than a month, that felt like years. I had nobody to talk to anymore, nobody to hug, nobody who really loved me. I really screwed up, but I never stopped loving Carmen Taylor, and I never, ever will. She taught me so much, I-"
Isaac's heaved and he let out a booming cry, face scrunched in excruciating pain. His body wrecked with tears and trembled as he sat there for a minute, just him and Carmen, while the world faded around them.
"I'll always love you, baby," Isaac whispered to himself and her, rocking back and forth in an attempt to calm down. "I loved every single thing about you, and I just wish I could speak to you one last time so that I could tell you just how much I loved you. I don't think any words in the dictionary could describe it. I'm proud of you for doing what you did, but I just wish things had been different. Because when you died in my arms last night, a piece of me died with you."
Isaac's cries and sudden outburts of grunts never ceased as he delicately placed his flower on her stomach, lifting her hand to give her a kiss on the backhand side.
"I love you, Carmen. Sleep well, I'll see you again."
When he met the gazes of everyone else in the pack, he realized that they were all wrecked with tears as well in reaction to Isaac's speech. They all stood in silence, and Isaac hated it- He suddenly hated the silence, he hated everything cruel in the world. He hated that he was too weak to help her. He hated that the world took her from him. He hated that he allowed her to be taken.
Isaac hated himself.
The boy took off running into the forest, not too far from the burial grounds, but far enough so that the pack wouldn't hear his meltdown without honing into his sounds.
Isaac tugged at his roots and paced around, allowing a scream to ripple from his throat. It felt good to let it out, as he'd been holding it in ever since last night. So, he continued to scream. He threw branches and logs, kicked at the leaves, and screamed at the top of his lungs, allowing some of the grief to alleviate, though, it wasn't nearly as much as he needed.
As he let out one more scream, this one louder than all the others, he heard something he didn't expect.
Another scream, but this one not from him.
Another scream rang throughout the trees, closely followed by the shouting of the group over at Derek's old house. Isaac's feet immediately and automatically began to take off in the direction of the house, curious as to what the noises were.
Once he reached them, Isaac froze in his spot, nearly tripping over his feet at the sight in front of him.
Was this real? Was this happening?
There was no explanation as to why Derek was pulling Carmen's fully awake body out of the hole. Carmen's face was scrunched in pain as she continued to scream, tears streaming down her own face.
There was no explanation as to why Carmen Taylor was alive.